Strange man, she thought, objective about Denys for the first time in her life. Willing to take on Giraud"s replicate-oh, yes. Beyond any doubt. And facing Giraud"s death with-not quite grief: a sense of impending catastrophe.
No difficult question at all why Denys had been so willing to take her in, why he had thrown all Reseune into turmoil to recover Ariane Emory"s abilities for Reseune: Denys was brilliant, Denys had the old problem with Alphas-that lack of checks, lack of boundaries, that floating-in-black-s.p.a.ce problem, that meant no minds to bounce off, no walls to return the echo. Denys was brilliant, and quite eetee and self-defensive: and incapable, perhaps, of believing his work was finished-hence the perpetual adjustments. A mind working on a macro-system that only kept widening ... a perfectionist, with the need to be definitive.
No need of people at all. Just a student of them.
And facing death-Giraud"s and his own-with incredulity. Denys was the center of his own universe, Giraud his willing satellite, and of course Denys was interested in psychogenesis, Denys was so d.a.m.ned interested he had almost lost his balance with her, Denys wanted immortality, even without personal continuance-and she had only to hold out the promise: if Giraud was essential to the universe-who more than Denys?
She turned, set the cup on the edge of the table, and started, expecting the person behind her to be Florian, about to take the cup; but it was Justin; and she was chagrined in that half-second, at being that on-edge, and at being caught being foolish.
He took her hand, said: "I think I remember how," and offered the other hand.
She stared at him, thinking: How much has he had? How much has he had? and lifted her hand to his, fingers locked in fingers, the two of them moving out onto the floor to an older, slower number. He and lifted her hand to his, fingers locked in fingers, the two of them moving out onto the floor to an older, slower number. He had had been drinking, probably no few drinks, but he moved with some grace, surely as aware as she was of the fact other dancers broke step to gawk at them, that the music wobbled and recovered. been drinking, probably no few drinks, but he moved with some grace, surely as aware as she was of the fact other dancers broke step to gawk at them, that the music wobbled and recovered.
He smiled at her. "Ari never danced. But her dinners were always good for a week of office gossip."
"What in h.e.l.l are you trying to do?"
"What I"m doing. What you did-with Florian-and young Amy. Good for you. Good for you, Ari Emory. d.a.m.ned right. -I thought-a little social rehab-twice in a night-figuring you have a sense of humor-"
Other dancers were in motion, recovering their graces. And Justin"s smile was thin, deliberately held.
"You"re not in some kind of trouble, are you?"
"No. Just thinking-I"ve lost a big piece of my life-staying inconspicuous. What the h.e.l.l. Why not?"
She caught a glimpse of Denys" chair, near the door. Vacant.
And thought: G.o.d. Where are the edges of this thing? G.o.d. Where are the edges of this thing?
The music finished. People applauded. She stared a second at Justin, a second that felt all too long and public.
I"ve made a serious mistake.
Cover it, for G.o.d"s sake, it"s like the Amy/Quentin thing, people will take it that way with cue enough- She walked with Justin hand-in-hand from the floor, straight for Catlin. "Here"s the one to teach you the new steps. She"s really amazing. -Catlin, show show Justin, will you?" Justin, will you?"
As the band started up again, and Catlin smiled, took Justin by the hand and took him back to the floor.
Grant-was over by the wall, watching, with worry evident.
"Florian," she said, "go ask Grant what the h.e.l.l Justin"s up to."
"Yes, sera," Florian said, and went.
Denys was gone from the room. So was Seely.
Justin"s linked himself with me-publicly. Not that everyone didn"t know. But that I let it go-that, they"ll gossip about.
She looked to the floor, where Justin made a brave and even marginally successful attempt to take up on Catlin. And to the corner of the room, where Florian and Grant were in urgent converse.
Denys-walked out.
Florian came back before the end of the dance. "Grant says: it"s CIT craziness. I had no notion of this. Grant asked your help but he says if he intervenes it may be public and tense. He says Justin"s been on an emotional bent ever since he and Grant went back to their own residency-Grant says he"s willing to speak to you about it, but then he said: Sera intervened: ask sera if this is the result of it."
Ari frowned. "Dammit."
"Maddy," Florian said.
Which was a better idea than she had, fluxed as she was. "Maddy," she said. "Go." Dammit, dammit! He"s pushing, d.a.m.ned if this is innocent. Denys was here, the whole Family watching- Dammit, dammit! He"s pushing, d.a.m.ned if this is innocent. Denys was here, the whole Family watching- She took a deep breath. No more easy course. He"s no kid. Denys isn"t. Now they"re not dealing with me as a kid either, are they? Grant thinks this is an emotional trip No more easy course. He"s no kid. Denys isn"t. Now they"re not dealing with me as a kid either, are they? Grant thinks this is an emotional trip-or that"s what Justin"s told Grant to say.
d.a.m.n, I should haul him in for a question-and-answer on this little tricky d.a.m.n, I should.
And he"d never trust me, never be the same Justin, would he?
Catlin and Justin were leaving the floor. Maddy Stra.s.sen moved in with Maddy"s own peculiar grace, said something to Catlin and appropriated Justin"s arm, walking him over to the refreshments while the band took a break; and "Stasi Ramirez was moving in from the other side.
Thank G.o.d.
She drew quieter breaths, sure that Denys had his spies in the room, people who would report to him exactly the way things went.
Like Petros Ivanov.
Which could only help, at this point.
Grant-stayed as un.o.btrusive as Grant"s red-haired elegance could ever be, over in a corner of the room, having a bit of cake and a cup of punch. And talking to young Melly Kennart, who was twelve. Completely innocent.
Maddy partnered Justin through two dances. Ari took the second one with Tommy Carnath, who was looking a little grim. "Patience," Ari said, "for G.o.d"s sake, we"ve got a problem."
"He"s the problem," Tommy said. "Ari, he"s moving on you. Your uncle"s mad."
If Tommy saw it, so did a lot of other people.
And nothing could cover it. All she could do was signal she was not responding to the overture.
Embarra.s.s him and send him off? He was vulnerable as h.e.l.l to that. Laying himself wide open to it. Betting his entire career and maybe his life on that move, and not not stupid, no, no way that a man who had run the narrow course he had run all his life suddenly made a thorough break with pattern on a flight of emotion. No matter if he was drunk. No matter what. Justin stupid, no, no way that a man who had run the narrow course he had run all his life suddenly made a thorough break with pattern on a flight of emotion. No matter if he was drunk. No matter what. Justin had had thought about what he was doing. thought about what he was doing.
And put her on the spot. Support me in front of the whole Family or rebuff me. Now. I"ll kill him. I"ll kill him for this. I"ll kill him. I"ll kill him for this.
ix "Ser Justin"s here," Florian said, via the Minder, and Ari said, without looking up from her desk: "d.a.m.n well about time. Bring him to the den. Him, Him, not Grant." not Grant."
"Grant"s not with him," Florian said.
Florian had not let him in yet: the Minder always beeped in her general area to let her know when an outside access opened. It did then; and she waited to finish her note to the system before she stirred from her chair, told Base One log-off, and walked down the hall to the bar and the den.
Justin was there, in the room that held so many bad memories-walking the narrow margin behind the immense bra.s.s-trimmed couch, looking at the paintings. While Florian waited un.o.btrusively by the bar-unconscious echo on Florian"s part: he and Catlin had never seen the tape.
She chose this place.
Favor for favor.
"I want to know," she said, to his back, across the wide expanse of the wood-floored pit, "what in h.e.l.l h.e.l.l you hoped to accomplish last night." you hoped to accomplish last night."
He turned to face her. Indicated the painting he had been looking at. "That"s my favorite. The view of Barnard"s. It"s so simple. But it affects you, doesn"t it?"
She took in her breath. Affects you, indeed. He"s Working me, that"s what he"s after. Affects you, indeed. He"s Working me, that"s what he"s after.
"Grant asked me for help," she said. "You"ve got asked me for help," she said. "You"ve got him him scared. I hope you know that. What are you trying to do? Unravel everything? It"s d.a.m.ned ungrateful. I kept Giraud off your tail. I kept you out of Detention. I"ve taken chances for you-What do you expect I should do, shout across the room? I do you a favor. I do every d.a.m.n thing I can to help you. What do you do for me? Push me in public. Put me in a situation. I scared. I hope you know that. What are you trying to do? Unravel everything? It"s d.a.m.ned ungrateful. I kept Giraud off your tail. I kept you out of Detention. I"ve taken chances for you-What do you expect I should do, shout across the room? I do you a favor. I do every d.a.m.n thing I can to help you. What do you do for me? Push me in public. Put me in a situation. I don"t don"t think I"m that much smarter than you are, Justin Warrick, so don"t tell me you were just going from the gut. I"ll tell you you wanted me in a corner. Back you or not, on your d.a.m.n timetable; and if Tommy Carnath saw it and Florian saw it and "Stasi Ramirez saw it, you tell me whether Yanni Schwartz or Petros Ivanov or my uncle missed it." think I"m that much smarter than you are, Justin Warrick, so don"t tell me you were just going from the gut. I"ll tell you you wanted me in a corner. Back you or not, on your d.a.m.n timetable; and if Tommy Carnath saw it and Florian saw it and "Stasi Ramirez saw it, you tell me whether Yanni Schwartz or Petros Ivanov or my uncle missed it."
He walked around the edge of the pit, to the front of the bar.
"I apologize."
"Apologize won"t handle it. I want to know-simply and clearly-what you want." won"t handle it. I want to know-simply and clearly-what you want."
"You can always ask that. Isn"t that the agreement?"
"Don"t push me. Don"t Don"t push me. I"m still trying to save your b.u.t.t, hear me?" push me. I"m still trying to save your b.u.t.t, hear me?"
"I understand you." He leaned against the bar and looked at Florian.
"Florian."
"Ser?"
"Scotch and water. Do you mind?"
"Sera?"
"My usual. His. It"s all right, Florian." She walked down the steps and sat down on the couch, and Justin came down and sat. Put his elbow on the couch-back in the same way as all those years ago, unconscious habit or scene-following as deliberate as hers ... she did not know. "All right," she said, "I"m listening."
"Not much to say. Except I trusted you."
"Trusted me! -For what, a d.a.m.ned fool?" me! -For what, a d.a.m.ned fool?"
"It was just-there. That"s all. What would I do? Work in your wing, be your partner another twenty years till Denys dies? Keep my head down and my mouth shut and attend all those d.a.m.n parties, twenty lousy years of going through every social function, all the department functions, everything-with every CIT in the House feeling like he has to explain himself to Security or your uncle if he"s spotted talking to me? h.e.l.l of a life, Ari."
"I"m sorry," she said shortly. Which was true: she had had a dose of it too, in growing up; and she had seen it happen to him and felt it in her gut. "But that still doesn"t say why you did it. Why you had to wait for a d.a.m.ned sensitive time-I just got things smoothed over with Denys, I just I just got things settled, and you throw me a move like that." got things settled, and you throw me a move like that."
"Sorry," he said bitterly.
"Sorry?"
"Times are always sensitive- Always. It"s always something. I"m cut off from my father again, dammit, because of Giraud. I"ve got your word he"s safe. That"s all I"ve got."
His voice wobbled. Florian set the whiskey down by his hand, on the shelf behind the couch, and ghosted her direction, putting the vodka-and-orange by hers.
"Which," he continued, after a drink, "I don"t doubt. But that"s why. Others do doubt my father"s safety. Giraud is one. So d.a.m.ned easy to have an incident-a confusion on the part of some poor sod of an azi guard-isn"t it? Terrible loss-a Special. But as you say -Giraud"s dying. What can he care? You underestimate him-if you think he"s not going to try to be rid of my father-except-except if he finds things aren"t aren"t settled at Reseune, and I"m a threat he can"t get at. Next to you. settled at Reseune, and I"m a threat he can"t get at. Next to you. Then Then he"ll doubt. And Giraud, scheming b.a.s.t.a.r.d that he is, -never makes precipitate, reckless moves. he"ll doubt. And Giraud, scheming b.a.s.t.a.r.d that he is, -never makes precipitate, reckless moves. I I want his attention. I want it on me until he"s dead. It"s that simple." want his attention. I want it on me until he"s dead. It"s that simple."
It made sense, it made a tangled, out-of-another-mindset sense, if you were Justin Warrick, if you knew Giraud, if you had no power and nothing to bluff with except Ari Emory and a potential for trouble.
"So," he said, "I just-saw a chance. I didn"t thoroughly plan it. I just saw what you did with the Carnath girl-Amy-and thought-if you blew up, well, maybe I could patch it. If you covered me-it"d get to Giraud. Maybe it"d look like more than it was and worry h.e.l.l out of him. I"m sorry if it"s fouled you you up; but I doubt it has; fouled up your plans to keep me pure in Security"s sight, maybe; worried Denys, I"m sure; -but messed up anything for you, personally, -I very much doubt it." up; but I doubt it has; fouled up your plans to keep me pure in Security"s sight, maybe; worried Denys, I"m sure; -but messed up anything for you, personally, -I very much doubt it."
"Nothing like the mess you"ve made for yourself."
"Good. On both counts."
"You"re a d.a.m.ned fool! You could tell tell me, you know, you could trust I can keep an eye to Jordan-" me, you know, you could trust I can keep an eye to Jordan-"
"No, I can"t trust that. I can"t trust that, when you"re not not in contact with the military, when you"re in contact with the military, when you"re not not in Giraud"s position and you"re not in Denys" chair either. I can"t depend on your knowing what they"re up to, I"m sorry." in Giraud"s position and you"re not in Denys" chair either. I can"t depend on your knowing what they"re up to, I"m sorry."
He didn"t didn"t know Base One"s extent. Had no idea. And there was no telling him. Not on any account. She sipped her vodka-and-orange, set it down and shook her head. know Base One"s extent. Had no idea. And there was no telling him. Not on any account. She sipped her vodka-and-orange, set it down and shook her head.
"You could at least have consulted me."
"And put you on your guard? No. Now done"s done. I"m being honest, since you"ve asked. I"m asking you one more thing: run a probe if you like, but don"t don"t give the tape to Denys." give the tape to Denys."
"Who said I did?"
"I don"t know. I just have my suppositions what would appease Denys. Don"t give this one out. It can only harm my father. It sure won"t make me look any better to either one of the Nyes."
"Except if I don"t they"ll be sure I"m going along with what you did."
"So you are turning the tapes over."
"The ones I admit to running. I"ve never let them have Ari"s notes on you. I"ve never shown them what I did to settle some of the damage Ari left. The unresolved stuff. I"ve never shown them the little intervention that lets you be here, this close to me, without sweating."
"Without worse than that. Without much worse than that. I"m still getting tape-flash now and again. But most of the charge is gone. I only remember-at much more distance than I"ve ever had-or I never could have done what I did at the party; never could have come here; never could have contemplated-my real plan for irritating Giraud."
"That being?"
"Going to bed with you."
That jolted, hard. It was so matter-of-fact she was half embarra.s.sed, only dimly offended at first blink.
"Not," he said, "that I thought of doing anything you hadn"t flatly asked me-once and twice, and recently. Make you happy-make Giraud quite, quite unhappy. And not in a way that could hurt you ... I never wanted that. To be honest, I wasn"t sure I could. So I just-took a different course when it offered itself, that"s all. I hope I don"t offend you. And I wouldn"t mention it, except I"d rather explain it with my wits about me, thank you, where I can at least string things together in my own defense. So there you are. That"s why."
It was a deliberate move that made it psychologically harder for her to insist on a probe . . . quieten things down: defuse the situation. And tell enough of the truth to make everything reasonable.
Come in here without Grant, too. That, That, when he knew he was potentially in trouble. when he knew he was potentially in trouble.
d.a.m.n, possibilities multiplied ad infinitum when it involved motives and an unacknowledged Special whose stresses came from everywhere and everyone-not least the fact that she had Worked him under kat, grabbed hold of things which were profoundly important to him and tried, at least, to tie up the old threads-far as one could in a mind that had changed so much since Ari"s notes; and considering the psychological difference of their reversed ages.
Very tangled. Very, very tangled.
"You"ve messed up work of mine," she said. "You"ve made me problems. I"ve got reason to be mad. And I supported you out there, dammit."
"Yes," he said. "Which I hoped you"d do."