"Allie," Curran said, "he"s a marginer. At best he"s a liar and a thief. He"s lied his way from one end of civilization to the other. He"s conned customs and police who know better. At the worst- at the worst-"
"You think he"s conned me?"
"I think he was desperate and we gave him a line. But he"s keeping the keys in his hands and maybe he"s had other crew aboard who never made it off. We don"t know that. We can"t let him loose."
"You got another idea? Calling the military-that still doesn"t give us the keys. They"d have to haul us down; or we lose the ship. Might as well apply to leave the ship ourselves. Hand it back to him. Go back to Pell, beached. In a year, maybe we can explain it all to the Old Man. And go back to Dublin and go on explaining it. You think of that?"
"What do we do, then?"
"He"s got no food in that section," Deirdre said. "There"s that. There"re things he needs."
Allison drew a long breath, short of air. So they were around to that, the logical direction of things. "So maybe we come up with something more to the point than that. That"s what he was saying, you know that? He knows what kind of a mess we"re in. We can"t rely on him at controls-how much do you think you can rely on comp keys he might give us if we put the pressure on? He"s out-thought us. He"s not going to bluff."
Silence.
She rested her hands on her knees and stood up. "All right. It"s in my watch. So I"ll talk to him. I"m going up there."
"Allie-"
"Al-li-son." She frowned at Curran. "You stay by com and monitor the situation. Only one way he"s going to trust us halfway -a way to patch up things, at least; make a gesture, make him think we think we"ve straightened it out. G.o.d help us." She headed for the corridor, looked back at a trio of solemn faces. "If you have to come after me, come quick."
"If he lays a hand on you," Curran said, "I"ll break it a finger at a time."
"Don"t take chances. If it gets to that, settle it, and call the military." She walked on, raw terror gathered in her stomach. Her knees had a distressing tendency to shake.
There was no more chance of trusting him. Only a chance to make him think they did. He was, she reckoned, too smart to kill her even if it crossed his mind: he would take any chance they gave him, come back to them, bide his time.
She hoped to get them to Venture Station alive: that was what it came to now. And if they were lucky, there might be a strong military authority there.
He sat in the corridor-no other place in section two that was heated: he had the heat started up in number 15, and if the sensors worked, the valve that shut the water down in 15 would open and restore the plumbing. He never depended on Lucy"s plumbing. At the moment he was beyond caring; he was pragmatic enough to reckon priorities would change when thirst set in.
And in an attempt at pragmatism he made himself as comfortable as he could on the floor, nursed bruised ribs and wrenched joints and a stiff neck, trying to find a position on the hard tiles that hurt as little as possible. The teeth ached; the inside of his mouth was cut and swollen: there was a great deal to take his mind off more general troubles, but generally he was numb, the way the area of a heavy blow went numb. And he reckoned that would start hurting too, when the shock of betrayal had pa.s.sed. In the meantime he could sleep: if he could find a spot that did not ache, he could sleep.
The alarm went off-the door down the curve opened from their side, jolting his heart. He scrambled up-staggered into the wall and straightened.
Allison by herself. The door closed again; the alarm stopped. He stared at her and the numb spot gained feeling and focus, an ache that settled everywhere. "So, well," he said, "got around to figuring how it is?"
"Look, I"m here. You want to talk or do you want me to let be?"
"I won"t give it to you."
She walked closer, the length of the corridor between them. Stopped near arm"s length. "I won"t pa.s.s it to Curran. I"m sorry.- Listen to me. I reckoned maybe we were too close for reason. I just figured maybe Curran could get the sleepover out of it; maybe- Hang it, Stevens, you"re strung out on no sleep and you"re risking our lives on it. Not just mine. Theirs; and I got them into it You don"t trust them. Maybe not me. But I figured if you and Curran could sort it out-maybe it would all work. That maybe if you got it straight with them, if all the heat blew out of it-"
"Misfigured, did you?"
"Don"t be light with me. Say what you think."
"All I want-" His throat spasmed. He thrust his hands into his pockets and disguised a second breath with that. "I don"t give you the time of day, Reilly. Let alone the comp keys. Now we can go on like this. And maybe you"ll think of other clever ways to get at it. But you loaned me money; you didn"t buy me out You figure -what? To trump up something to get me between you and the police at Venture? And then to offer me another deal? Sorry. I"ve got that figured out. Because if they get me, Reilly, you"re stuck on a ship you can"t even get out of dock. Embarra.s.sing. Might raise questions about your t.i.tle to her. Might cost you a long time to get that straightened out, long-distance to Pell and wherever Dublin might be. Not to mention-if they send me in for restruct -I"ll spill what happened here, all in the little pieces of my mind. And there goes the Reilly Name. So refigure, Reilly. Nothing you do that way"s going to work."
"You"re crazy, you know that?"
"You know, I really took precautions. I signed on drunks and docksiders and insystemers, and I got through with all of them. I figured a big ship like Dublin might try to doubledeal me, but you"re pirates, Reilly-I never figured that. Mallory"s out there hunting Mazianni and here"s a ship full of them."
Her face flushed. He had that satisfaction. "You don"t take that seriously, do you?"
"I don"t see a difference."
"Stevens-"
"Sandor. The name"s Sandor."
"I"m sorry for what happened. I told you why; I told you- Look, Curran thought you"d bluff. That was his thinking. Now he knows better. So do all of us. You want to come back to the bridge and sort this out?"
He ran that through his mind several ways, and none of it eased the ache. Stood there, obstinate, only to make it harder.
"Stevens-what"s it take?"
"Worried, are you? We"re not even near the Jump point. And what when we"re across it? A replay? I only go for this once, Reilly. The next time you lay a hand on me if it"s war. You"ll get me. Sure you will. I"ve got to sleep, after all. But let"s just lay it on the table. You may not be able to haul it out of me. And then what? Then what, Reilly?"
"It"s crazy to talk like that."
"How much do you want this ship?"
"A lot. But not that way. I want us working with each other. I want our hands clean and all of us in one piece, not killed because you"re still running a loaded ship like a margin cargo-you"re blind crazy, Stevens. Sandor. You"ve got too many enemies in your own head."
"It doesn"t work. You take it on my terms. That"s all you"ve got. Up the ante, and that"s still all you"ve got."
"All right," she said after a moment, stood there with a look in her eyes that seemed halfway earnest She nodded toward the section seal. "Let"s go."
He nodded, walked along with her. "They"re listening," he said in a low voice. "Aren"t they?"
She looked at him, a sudden, disturbed glance. They reached the section seal and she stopped and reached for the b.u.t.ton. He was quicker, his hand covering it. He looked her in the eyes, that close, and the closeness murdered reason for the instant. The scent of her and the warmth and the remembrance of Viking and Pell.
"You could have had it all," he said. "You know that."
"You never trusted us. Not from the start"
"I was right, wasn"t I?"
She was silent a moment. "Maybe not."
The quiet denial shot around the flank of his defenses. He turned his head, pressed the b.u.t.ton.
The siren went. The door shot open. He was facing Curran and Neill. He was somehow not surprised.
"He"s coming back," Allison said. She closed the door again. The siren stopped. "We"ve got it settled."
The faces in front of him did not believe it. He reacquired his own doubts, nerved himself with the insolence of a thousand encounters with docksiders. Offered his hand.
Curran took it, a small shudder of hesitation in the move, a grip that spared bruised knuckles-but Curran"s hand was in no better condition; Neill"s next-Neill"s earnest expression had a peculiar distress.
"Sorry," Neill said.
He meant it, Sandor reckoned. One of them meant it And knew it was all a sham. He felt a pang of sympathy for Neill, which was insane: Neill would be with the rest of them, and he never doubted it.
"Deirdre"s on watch, is she?"
"Yes."
"I"m going to have my breakfast and wash up. And I"ll rest after that... find myself a cabin and rest a few hours. You"ll wake me if something comes up."
He walked on-away from them. Stopped in the galley and opened the freezer, pulled out a decent breakfast, pointedly keeping his back to the rest of them as they pa.s.sed.
It was a quiet supper, hers with Curran. Curran was eating carefully, around a sore mouth, and not in a mood for idle conversation. Neither was she. "You think he"ll go along with it all the way to Venture?" Curran asked once. "Maybe," she said. "I think he"s had the angles figured for years. We just walked into it."
And a time later: "You know," Curran said, "the whole agreement"s a lie. Look at me, Allie. Don"t take on a face like that He"s a liar, an actor-he knows right where to take hold and twist I knew that from the start If you hadn"t stepped in when you did-"
"What would you have done? I"d like to have known what you would have done."
"I"d have beaten a straight answer out of him. He says not But that"s part of the act. He"s harder than I thought, but I"d have peeled the nonsense away and gotten right where he lives, Allie, don"t think not Wouldn"t have killed him; not near. And it might have settled this. You had to come out the door-"
"It didn"t go your way the first time. How much would it take? How many hours?" Her stomach turned. She pushed the food around on her plate, made herself spear a bite and swallow. "You heard what he said. We"ve got him working now. Another set-to-"
"You go on believing what he says-"
"What if it is the truth? What if it"s the truth all along?"
"And what if it"s not? What then, Allie?"
"Don"t call me that. I don"t like it."
"Don"t redirect You know what the stakes are. We"re talking about trouble here. You sit the number one; you"ve got to have the say in it But you"re thinking below the belt."
That"s your a.s.sumption."
"Don"t tell me a male number one wouldn"t have gotten us in this tangle."
"Ah. There we are. What if it were a woman and it were you calling the shots? Dare I guess? You"d take it all, wouldn"t you? You think you would. But would you sleep sound in that company? No. You think it through. I"m not sleeping with him. And he even asked."
"Maybe you should have."
She was reaching for the cup. She slammed it down, spilling it. "You need your att.i.tudes reworked, Mr. Reilly. You really do. Maybe we really need to figure the logic that carries all that. Let"s discuss your sleepovers, Mr. Reilly-or don"t they have any bearing on your fitness to command?"
His face went red. For a moment he said nothing at all. Then his eyes hooded and he leaned back. "Hoosh, what a tongue on ye, Allie. Do you really want the details? I"ll give you all you like."
She smiled, a move of the lips, not the rest of her face. "Doubtless you would. No doubt at all. You had your try; and he knocked you flat, didn"t he? So while we"re discussing my personal involvement here, suppose we add that to the count: is it just possible you have something personal at stake?"
"All of that"s aside. The question"s not what we see; it"s what Stevens is... and where we are. And what we do about it."
"And I"m telling you it didn"t work."
"You stopped it. It"s ugly; it"s an ugly thing; I don"t like it; but it would have settled it and your way hasn"t got us anywhere but back behind start. Way behind."
She thought that over, and it was true, "Where did we ever get off doing something like this? Where did we ever learn to think about things like this?"
"It"s not us. It"s the company you came up with."
"Suppose he told the truth. Suppose that for a minute."
"I don"t suppose it. You"re back where you were, falling for a good act. And you think every customs agent and banker who ever believed him didn"t think he looked sincere? Sincere"s his stock in trade, him with that fair, blue-eyed innocence."
She took a napkin, blotted the spilled coffee, wiped the bottom of the cup and took a drink, and a second.
"So we go on," Curran said. "Next jump-and him running it."
"What would you do?"
"No more than I had to."
She shook her head. Got up and cleaned the plate and tossed the cup, put things in the washer.
"Alli-son. I"m not willing to risk my life on your maybe."
She looked back at him. "You"re my number two. Isn"t that your job?"
"If there"s reason-"
"My reason is a judgment call. And I"m making it."
"On what percentage? It gets us into another spot like this one. On that understanding-just so we agree where we"re going-it"s my job. Right."
She walked over and squeezed his shoulder, walked past and out of the galley.
Chapter XIV.
That"s five minutes to range limit," Allison said. Transmitting advis.e.m.e.nt to our escort."
"Got it," Sandor murmured back, busy at final adjustments. The reports from the other stations came in, routine and indicating all stable. It had an especially valuable feel, the familiar cushion, the rhythm of operations, his hands on the controls again, as if nothing had happened. Wild thoughts came to him, like stringing the next two jumps, seeing whether his Dubliner companions had the stomach for that-he imagined screams of terror and shouts of rage; and maybe they could not haul the velocity down -would become a missile traveling out into the Deep beyond any control, too much ma.s.s for her own systems and exponentially doomed... Or even minutely fouling up the schedule they had given to the military that still ran beside them. Being hauled down by Alliance military-that would give the Dubliners something to worry about... if it was worth falling into the hands of the military himself. He still preferred his Dubliners to either fate. Allison and Curran and Deirdre and Neill-Allison. Allison. It hurt, knowing what she had wanted; what, subconsciously, he had seen-that for her it was Lucy herself. She wanted what he wanted, the way he wanted-and the loneliness in her was filled without him. She had family. He had known. It was his solitude that gave him strange ideas. It was listening to stationer tapes and forgetting what family was, and where right and wrong was.
Forgetting Ross and Mitri and all the voyagers in the dark. For getting what Lucy contained... as if Dubliners could forget their own ways.
He had had time in the hours shut in his cabin-in the cabin that had been Papa Lou"s, amid the remnant of things that he and Ross and Mitri had not sealed away under the plates, taking everything that might have identified the Kreja name to customs -he had had time to reckon what had happened. He might have hated them. He reckoned that But it was too tangled for hate. It was survival, and maybe it had started out as something better than that.