It is so good to be off that d.a.m.n plane!
Luckily, because of the last minute booking, Chance and his mother were seated elsewhere. I finally got some peace and quiet, some time to think.
But, the truth is, I would have very much preferred to sit next to him for the whole flight instead of Dad.
Dad just wouldn"t stop talking about Vegas, about how we should go sometime, about how it was his first time.
And I just really don"t care.
He has no idea how much it hurt me for him to not come to my graduation. Surely they would have understood... his own daughter"s graduation! I gave a speech, everything.
I haven"t forgiven him for that yet. I can remember the whole conversation like it was yesterday...
His face is beet-red, but not with anger or indignation, even though that"s what he wants me to believe.
"Ca.s.sie Shannon, you will watch your mouth!"
"Why should I, Dad? You are going to miss my ceremony!"
I"m breathing hard, and I"ve got my hands on my hips. I mean, this is it? This is just final? Why the h.e.l.l did I even bother waiting for him to come back before eating dinner?
Why doesn"t he understand just how much it upsets me?
"Oh, for heaven"s sake, Ca.s.sie, it"s just high school. I didn"t even graduate, and look where I am now."
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, just high school. I"m Valedictorian! I"m giving a speech. I finished top of my year. And I"m one of the only students in the state to be accepted into any of the top universities in England. London School of Economics, Dad! Do you know how hard it is to get in there? It is the leading university in the world for social sciences, including political science!"
He sighs. His brown hair is ruffled from all the times he"s run his fingers through it. "I"m sorry, Ca.s.sie. It"s all fully booked already. I have to go. I can"t very well back out now. Do you know how important appearances are?"
"What about your appearance to me?"
Again, he just sighs. He looks at me, palms up, shaking his head. "I don"t know what to say."
"It"s a holiday, Dad. Can"t you postpone it? For me? Can"t you come and see your only daughter graduate? Can"t you come and listen to my speech?"
"I"ll see it all on the DVD the school will send out."
"Oh for G.o.d"s sake, Dad!" I yell.
My eyes are wet but I"m trying not to cry. I"m not trying to make him feel bad. I don"t want him to feel guilty. I just want him to come. I don"t want to be the only kid there without their parent present.
"It"s not really a holiday," he eventually says. He"s deflecting, changing the topic subtlely. He"s missing the point, and willfully, too.
It p.i.s.ses me off.
"Yes it is a holiday. Just because your company set it up doesn"t mean you aren"t going to enjoy yourself. You"re going to f.u.c.king Vegas!"
"Hey!" he barks, jabbing a finger at me. His nostrils flare and his bushy eyebrows shoot up his forehead "Don"t swear! It"s unladylike."
I scowl at him. "I would really like for my father to be present at my graduation ceremony. Is that too much to ask?"
"I just can"t."
"Just because you didn"t finish school doesn"t mean you shouldn"t be there when I do. Just because it didn"t matter to you doesn"t mean it doesn"t matter to me."
I can"t believe it. He just sits there and shrugs. "You"ll do fine," he adds lamely. "It"s not all you think it is."
I can"t believe I"m hearing this. What a f.u.c.king a.s.shole!
"Mom would come," I say, knowing it"s going to sting him.
As I expect, his face tenses up for a moment. His whole body stiffens. I don"t care. I"m out for blood now, even if I don"t like this about myself. But he should be there when I graduate. He should be there for me. He"s the only parent I"ve got.
And I"m the only kid he"s got.
"Don"t do that, Ca.s.sie."
"Don"t do what?"
"The company retreat is already set in stone. I"m just a junior partner. How can I possibly not go? You know I was just promoted last month. If I don"t go, how do you think that looks?"
"How do you think it looks to your daughter that you"re not attending her graduation?"
"My hands are tied, Ca.s.sie." He pushes his two wrists together in front of me. His eyes go all puppy-dog.
What a d.i.c.k.
"What about the other partners? Don"t they have kids, too?"
"They"re all so much older than I am, Ca.s.sie! Their kids have already graduated."
"And you can"t bring it up? Get it moved? Did you even try? Did you even remember?"
"Of course I remembered!"
He"s getting hot now. The temperature between us is rising. Good. He"s got no ground to stand on.
"But they made it clear that these were the dates. What was I going to say? Gee, Mr. Davidson, Senior Partner, but I really think you should switch up the dates of this retreat you"ve planned for months and generously extended an invite to me for."
"You"re pathetic," I spit.
"Watch it," he says. This time, his tone does get to me. I flinch a little.
"Don"t act like you"re going because you"re pressured to. You want to go. You already told me it"s all comped by the firm."
"Ca.s.sie, we need the money. When your mother was... I can"t screw anything up. You want to go to LSE? Study abroad? Is it on a scholars.h.i.+p? Is it?"
"No," I say reluctantly.
"So who is going to pay for it? Me! And I would love to pay for it. I want you to get an education. I want you to pursue your dreams. Do you understand? Impressions are everything. The partners have implied that, under no circ.u.mstances, am I to not go with them on this retreat. I need to go. It"s important. I a.s.sume we"ll also be discussing work matters."
"What are they to get you running so scared? Mobsters?"
Dad opens his mouth to speak, but then something weird happens. His brow furrows, and he c.o.c.ks his head to the side.
"No," he says icily. "They"re not mobsters."
"Then why do you sound afraid of displeasing them?"
I slap the dining table. A piece of macaroni jumps off my plate and, somehow, lands in my gla.s.s of water.
"Now, Ca.s.sie," Dad says, folding his arms, giving me a disapproving look.
"Argh!"
I storm off, leaving him at the table, and stomp up the stairs to my room. Each wooden plank creaks beneath my fury, sounds like it"s about to snap or splinter, and yet I feel powerless.
I slam the door to my room. The hinges rock in the frame.
Some f.u.c.king family I have. Mom"s gone, and Dad doesn"t care.
I tear a piece of paper from my pad, and begin scribbling down notes for my speech I have to give next week.
The baggage carousel trundles around lazily, and I"m just zoning out. I didn"t get a wink of sleep, and the plane food has only left me feeling bloated.
I can feel the b.u.t.ton of my jeans digging into my skin, and a part of me just wants to unb.u.t.ton it, d.a.m.ned if anyone sees.
"Which one is yours?" Chance asks, striding up next to me.
"I don"t need your help," I say. "Chance, I"m tired. Can we not do this here?"
He grins at me. "What is it you think we"re doing? We"re not doing anything."
"Why are you asking me which one is mine?" I sigh, and rub my forehead.
"Because no new suitcases are coming out. You"ve stared at the same bags go around three times now."
I blink, and that"s when I notice my grey suitcase.
"What the h.e.l.l?" I murmur to myself.
"That one yours?"
"Yeah," I say.
He walks over and hoists it off the carousel, and he sets it down at my feet.
"Over-pack, did you? We"re only here for two weeks."
"Go away, Chance."
"Whatever you say, Ca.s.s."
I watch as he walks away, jeans hugging his hard a.s.s, and s.h.i.+rt sleeves folded up to his elbows. How the h.e.l.l can anybody look so unbelievably good after an eight hour plane ride?
I grumble to myself. I can"t wait to get to the hotel. I need a bath.
I need some privacy.
Chapter Nineteen.
"I am not sharing a room with him!"
I huff out an angry sound at Dad, but he just looks at me, head tilted to the side.
"Come on, you don"t actually expect me to share a room with a boy, do you?"
Dad s.h.i.+fts on the spot, creases his brow together. His crow"s feet deepen. "I thought you two were friends?"
"Not friendly like that."
"Come on, Catherine. You"re an adult now. Deal with it."
I scoff. "Deal with it? Are you serious? I was supposed to have my own room on this trip."
"Well, that was before we knew Deborah and Chance were coming."
"You mean that was before you got married?"
"Yes." Dad sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. "The hotel is fully booked. We had two rooms originally for two people. Now, we"re four people, a family. Would you rather share a room with me?"
I grit my teeth. "No."
"Or Chance"s mother?"
"Definitely not."