I belong here, she thinks. Perhaps I do belong, irrespective of what I want or feel.
Unlocking the door, she goes up the stairs.
The feeling of reverence remains with her. Brushing her teeth and washing her face are a sacred ritual. Her thoughts remain still; nothing is bustling inside her head, just the sound of the toothbrush scrubbing and water running from the tap. She puts on her pyjamas like a christening suit. Takes the time to put clean sheets on the bed. The television and radio remain blind and silent. Mns calls her mobile, but she doesn"t answer.
She lies down between the sheets, which have that unused, slightly crisp feel: they smell clean.
Thank you, she thinks.
Her hands are tingling; they are as hot as the stones in a sauna. But it is not an unpleasant feeling.
She falls asleep.
She wakes up at about 4.00 in the morning. It is light outside; the snow must have moved on. A young girl is sitting on her bed. She is naked. She has two rings in one eyebrow. Freckles. Her red hair is wet. Water is running from her hair down her spine, like a little stream. When she speaks, water dribbles constantly from her mouth and nose.
It wasn"t an accident, she tells Martinsson.
No, Martinsson says, sitting up in bed. I know.
He moved me. I didn"t die in the river. Look at my hand.
She holds up a hand to show Martinsson. The skin has been torn away. The knuckles are sticking out through the grey flesh. The little finger and thumb are missing.
The girl looks sorrowfully at her hand.
I broke my nails on the ice when I was trying to scratch my way out, she says.
Martinsson gets the feeling that she is about to disappear.
Wait, she says.
She goes after the girl, who is running among the pine trees in a forest. Martinsson tries to follow her, but in the forest the snow is deep and wet, and she sinks up to her knees.
Then Martinsson is standing at the side of her bed. She hears her mother"s voice in her head: That"s enough now, Rebecka. Relax.
It was just a dream, Martinsson tells herself. She gets back into bed and drifts off into different dreams. Open sky above her head. Black birds flying up from the tops of the pine trees.
I go to visit the prosecutor. She"s the first person to see me since I died. She"s wide awake. Sees me clearly when I sit down on her bed. Her farmor is standing in the bedroom as well. She is the first dead person I"ve seen since I died myself. The first dead person I"ve ever seen, in fact. The grandmother eyes me up and down. You can"t just come and go as you like here, stirring up trouble. The prosecutor has a stern protector. I ask permission to speak to her granddaughter.
I"ve no desire to frighten or upset anybody. All I want is for them to find Simon. I don"t know where to turn. I can"t bear to see them. Anni is at home in her house with the pink Eternit cladding, gazing out of the window in the direction of the road. She sometimes goes for days without speaking. Occasionally she takes her kick-sledge and wanders through the village. Now and then she struggles up the stairs to my room and looks at my bed.
Simon"s mother stares at his father with hatred in her eyes as he wolfs down his food and then rushes out of the house. Their relationship is sterile; they have nothing to say to each other. He can"t stand the sight of her. She tried to talk when it first happened. Wept and woke him in the night. But she"s stopped now. He"d simply take his pillow and go to sleep on the sofa in the living room. When she begged him to say something, he merely said he had to get up and go to work the next day. She has run out of accusations and pleas. She needs to be able to bury her son.
She tells the other women that her husband doesn"t seem to be bothered. But I can see him when he"s driving, overtaking in the most dangerous circ.u.mstances imaginable. Last winter long-distance lorry drivers kept sounding their horns at him as he overtook them when it was impossible to see anything through the swirling snow. He"ll soon kill himself, driving like that.
I pa.s.s over the village. It"s night, but as light as day. Fresh snow has covered the thick blanket of old snow that had become dirty, as it does at this time of year, stained brown by soil and grit.
Hjalmar Krekula is awake. He"s standing outside his house like a bear, fat after a summer spent feeding. Wearing only a T-shirt and long johns. Two ravens have landed on his roof, making their grating calls. Hjalmar tries to chase them away. He fetches some firewood from the shed and throws it at them. He doesn"t dare to shout and bawl at them; the village is asleep after all. He can"t sleep, but in his mind he blames the black birds and the light night, and perhaps something he"s eaten.
The ravens fly off and perch in a tall pine tree instead.
He"s not going to get rid of them. And my body was discovered last night. Maybe people will start talking in the village. At last.
FRIDAY, 17 APRIL.
"h.e.l.l"s accursed s.h.i.t!"
Inspector Krister Eriksson, dog handler, slammed the car door and cursed into the cold, dry winter air.
His black Alsatian b.i.t.c.h Tintin was sniffing around in the fresh snow in the police-station car park.
"Are you alright?" someone said behind him.
It was Martinsson, the prosecutor. Her long brown hair hung down beneath her woolly hat. She wore jeans, no make-up. Not in court today, then.
"It"s the car," Eriksson said with a smile, embarra.s.sed by his swearing. "It won"t start. They"ve found Wilma Persson, the girl who disappeared last autumn."
Martinsson shook her head, not recognizing the name.
"She and her boyfriend disappeared at the beginning of October," Eriksson said. "They were both only young. People thought they had gone off to do a winter dive, but n.o.body knew where."
"Ah yes, I remember now," Martinsson said. "So they"ve found them, have they?"
"Not them, just the girl. In the River Torne, upstream from Vittangi. It was a diving accident, just as people thought. Anna-Maria"s phoned and asked me to go up there with Tintin and see if there"s any trace of the boy."
Inspector Anna-Maria Mella was Eriksson"s boss.
"How is Anna-Maria?" Martinsson said. "It"s ages since I spoke to her, even though we work in the same building."
"She"s O.K., I think, but you know what it"s like with a house full of kids. She"s always on the go, like most people, I suppose."
Martinsson was sure he was not telling the truth. All was not well with Mella, in fact.
"The atmosphere between her and her colleagues isn"t as good as it used to be," he said. "Anyway, I told her that Tintin isn"t really working at the moment. Her puppies are due soon, but I can let her have a quick look round. I was thinking of taking the new dog as well. Let him have a sniff. It won"t do any harm. If we don"t find anything, they can send for another dog, but the nearest one is in Sundsvall, so that would take ages . . ."
He nodded towards the back of his car. There were two dog cages in the luggage s.p.a.ce. In one of them was a chocolate-brown Alsatian.
"He"s lovely," Martinsson said. "What"s his name?"
"Roy. Yes, he"s certainly handsome. It remains to be seen if he"s going to be any good as a police dog. I can"t let him out at the same time as Tintin. He chases after her and winds her up. And Tintin needs to take things easy until she whelps."
Martinsson looked over at Tintin.
"She"s good, from what I"ve heard," she said. "She found the vicar in Vuolusjarvi, and tracked down Inna Wattrang. Amazing."
"Oh yes, she certainly is good," Eriksson said, turning away to hide his proud smile. "I always compare them with my previous dog, Zack. It was a privilege to work with him. He taught me all I know. I just followed him. I was so young in those days, didn"t have a clue. But I"ve trained Tintin."
The b.i.t.c.h looked up when she heard her name and came trotting over to them. Sat down next to the boot of Eriksson"s car as if to say, "Shall we get moving?"
"She knows we"re going out on a job," Eriksson said. "She thinks it"s great fun."
He turned to Tintin.
"It"s no good," he said. "The car won"t start."
The dog tilted her head to one side and seemed to think this over. Then she lay down in the snow with a resigned sigh.
"Why don"t you take my car?" Martinsson said.
It dawned on her that she was talking to Tintin, so she turned to face Eriksson.
"Sorry," she said. "I expect you"ll be the one doing the driving. I don"t need my car today."
"Oh no, I couldn"t possibly . . ."
As she pressed the keys of her Audi A4 Avant into his hand, he kept asking whether she was sure she would not need the car that day. In any case, there was bound to be another solution. They could come and fetch him, for instance.
"Why can"t you just say thank you?" she said. "I"m going inside. Unless you need some help moving the dog cages. Just go! They"ll be waiting for you."
He said he could manage the cages himself. So she left him to it, pausing in the doorway to give him a wave.
She had not even taken her jacket off when he knocked on the door of her office.
"It"s no good," he said. "It"s an automatic. I can"t cope with them."
She smiled.
That doesn"t happen very often, he thought.
Other women went around smiling all day long. Whether they were happy or not. But not this one. And she didn"t just smile with her mouth, oh no, you had to look deep into her eyes. A merry tune was playing at the very back of her eyes when she looked at him.
"What about Tintin?" she said.
"No, she"s used to a stick shift as well."
"It"s dead easy, you just . . ."
"I know!" he said, interrupting her. "That"s what everyone says, but . . . It"s no good, I just can"t do it."
Martinsson looked at him. He met her gaze without a trace of embarra.s.sment or shyness. Held her gaze.
She knew he was a lone wolf.
And it"s not just because of how he looks, she thought.
Eriksson"s face was badly scarred by severe burns. A house fire when he was a teenager, she had heard. His skin was shiny with patches of pink, his ears two newly opened, crinkled birch leaves, no hair, no eyebrows or lashes, his nose just two holes in the middle of his face.
"I"ll drive you," she said finally.
She expected him to protest. To start going on about how she was supposed to be at work. That she no doubt had all kinds of other things to do.
"Thank you," he said, smiling mischievously to show that he had learnt his lesson.
It suddenly turned warm as they were driving. The sun"s hot breath. Melting snow dripped from spindly pine trees and from the branches of birches already taking on a violet tone. Patches of open water had begun to appear round the stones in the river. The ice was beginning to recede from the riverbanks. But the cold would return when night fell. It had not surrendered yet.
Martinsson and Eriksson followed the forest tracks north of the Torne. The police had marked the route with strips of red plastic tape. If they had not done so, it would have been virtually impossible to find the right place out here in the wild. There were tracks running off in all directions.
The barrier across the track leading to the summer cottages on the promontory at Pirttilahti was standing open. The site was covered with all kinds of huts and chalets made out of spare bits of timber, wooden cottages and several outside toilets. Everything appeared rather higgledy-piggledy; people seemed to have built wherever they could find room. There was also an old red-painted wooden hut on wheels with dark green window frames. It was propped up on railway sleepers, and there were flounced flowery curtains at the windows. It made Martinsson think of small, tired travelling circus troupes. Here and there lengths of wood had been nailed up between pine trees. Hanging from them were swings with greying ropes, or tatty fishing nets weighed down by fragments of ice that had not yet melted in the spring sunshine. Along the walls of the cottages were stacks of rotting wood, unlikely to be much good for burning. Lying all over the place were things that might come in handy one of these days: part of an old porch, a pretty but broken wooden gate leaning against a tree, stacks of timber only just adequately covered by tarpaulins, piles of old bricks and paving stones, grindstones, a street lamp, an old tractor, rolls of fibregla.s.s insulation, an iron bed.
And lots of rowing boats in among the trees. Upside down and covered in snow. Made of wood and plastic, in varying states of repair.
By the side of a permanent landing pier was a floating jetty that had been dragged up onto the riverbank. The police and forensic teams were gathered there.
"What a place!" Martinsson said with delight, switching off the engine.
Tintin and Roy immediately started howling and barking with excitement.
"Some of us can"t wait to start work," Eriksson said, laughing.
They got out of the car quickly.
Inspector Mella came over to them.
"What a row!" she said with a chuckle.
"They just go mad, they"re so desperate to get to work," Eriksson said. "I don"t want to shush them up as I want this to be a positive experience. But I"m not at all sure that it"s good for Tintin. She shouldn"t get this excited in her condition. She needs to get to work, then she"ll calm down. Where do you want us to search?"
Mella looked over towards the river.
"The forensic team have just arrived. They"re working down by the jetty, but I thought you and Tintin could check along the riverbank. The girl was out diving with her boyfriend, so he must be here somewhere. Maybe his body has floated ash.o.r.e nearby, who knows? It would be helpful if you could search a little way upstream and downstream from here, and then we can go up to the rapids. Some people dive in the rapids to retrieve lost fishing tackle a decent Rapala can set you back 150 kronor after all. So they go looking for a few of those . . . As I said, I"ve no idea. But young people are always short of money. Such a tragic accident. A d.a.m.ned shame if ever there was one. They had the whole of their lives to look forward to. It would be nice for the relatives if we could find both of them."
Eriksson nodded.
"Tintin can make a start," he said. "But she"s not going to walk 3 kilometres. I"ll take Roy out later."
"O.K. Maybe we can let her search the promontory here, and then up by the rapids. It"s open water there, and we can cross over to the far side later. I"ve got some officers out looking for the car, but they"re keeping away from the riverbank. A hundred metres, I told them."
Eriksson nodded his approval. Letting Tintin out of the car, he strapped her into her work coat.
She stopped barking and scuttled excitedly around his legs; he had to disentangle himself from the lead.
When he had disappeared, being dragged down towards the promontory by an excited, whimpering Alsatian, Mella turned to Martinsson.
"What brought you out here?"
"I"m just the chauffeur," Martinsson said. "Krister"s car wouldn"t start."
They eyed each other for a long moment. Then both said at the same time, "How are things?"