He did not have to say aloud that running was not his way. She felt it. He wished for the same simple things she did, the same simple life, but he denied himself, as he had always done.
"I know what I must do," he said as he kissed his way down her throat.
"Yes, so do I," she responded breathlessly as she caught his hips between her thighs.
He laughed-laughed-with his lovely mouth between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "That, too, but that"s not what I meant."
"What did you mean, then?" And how could he think of anything else when they were entangled so?
"I have been hesitant to go directly to my brother, because I don"t entirely trust myself. More correctly, I don"t trust the other, the darkness."
"You are afraid of what Trystan might do if he rises while in your brother"s presence," she clarified.
"Exactly so," Alix said with a rush of sadness. "And yet, we cannot continue to run, we can"t hide forever. Like it or not, I need Jahn"s help. We will go to Jahn, through Sian Chamblyn if need be, and we will tell him everything."
"You said it yourself. No one will believe us without proof. There will be war," she whispered. She feared what would happen when they were no longer alone, when they had to face and deal with others.
"Perhaps, but as things stand, there will be war in any case. I don"t know how to prove our innocence, but perhaps Jahn will have some ideas. He"s very clever that way."
The brilliant shine of her happiness dimmed. "So, we will go to Arthes and you will give me to your brother, as was intended."
For a moment Alix was silent, and then he said, "No. I will not."
He did not elaborate, and she did not ask him to. Instead, she snuggled against him and rested there, in a way she had never before been able to do. Her life was in shambles, yet she was not alone. Everything she knew of who she was, who she"d been meant to be, did not work in this new land. She did not want to think of that tonight, not when this man she had chosen held her so well. They settled onto their sides, still in one another"s arms. Her soft chest against his hard one was a comfort. His hands, hands which touched her as if she were truly precious, caressed and held and explored.
Soon Alix was ready again, and so was she, so she was not surprised when he rolled her onto her back and filled her quickly and thoroughly. "I will never give you away, not to anyone, not for any reason. You"re mine, Sanura." He was still, deep inside her and so very still. "You"re mine," he said again, truly believing the words for the first time. "Jahn will understand, and if he doesn"t, I will fight him for you. I will take you, if I must." He began to move, to arouse her, to make her truly his own. "In our lifetimes he has possessed many things I wished for myself. I have never thought of fighting him for anything, I"ve never even dreamed of taking that which might be mine but was not. Not until now."
"Yes," she said simply.
"I love you, Sanura."
She had heard those words before, uttered by Zeryn in moments of pa.s.sion, but she had never felt them the way she did now: pure and bright and so true it seemed nothing could ever dull the brightness. "Yes."
He stopped speaking, but then, they needed no words. They spoke with their bodies, moving with the rhythm of their heartbeats, whispering with the linking of their souls. Sanura was far from an untouched maiden knowing a man"s touch for a first time, and yet in many ways this was a first for her. First choice, first surrender, first love.
"I love you, too," she whispered as she began to climax once again. "Alix, I love you."
Again they found blissful release, and then Alix kissed her again. Moments later he was asleep, and she cuddled against him to get her own rest. She was not glad that Princess Edlyn was dead, but she could not help but be happy that circ.u.mstances had led her from the path which had been set before her. "I am yours," she whispered to a sleeping Alix. "I am so very much yours."
She fell asleep snuggled against his side, and had dreams of tangitos and Alix.
VERITY shivered so hard her teeth clattered. Being wet and cold had been difficult enough when the sun was shining, but now that they walked in darkness, the chill cut her to the bone. Her hair was a matted, undignified mess. Her once-fine blue riding ensemble was filthy, wet, and torn in many places. Her shoes squished. But most of all, she was cold. She dearly hated to be cold!
Only one hand was warm. The hand Laris held in his own.
"How much farther?" she asked.
"I"m not sure," he said. His voice didn"t crack and flutter as hers did, but he had to be every bit as cold. "If we follow the riverbank, eventually we"ll come to the path your horse took."
Eventually. That was less than comforting.
He had asked her more than once what had happened to spook her horse, and each time she"d told him she had no idea. At the moment she didn"t care. Cold and miserable and lost, she was so blasted glad to be alive that she didn"t care what had happened.
"I really should thank you again for jumping in after me. I"m not a good swimmer at all."
"You"ve thanked me enough," Laris said, his voice affectionate and gentle. He had a nice voice, which made her glad she"d chosen him to be the recipient of the love potion.
She was not only glad to be alive, she was very glad not to be alone in the forest. Critters scurried here and there, though none came too close, and at times her imagination ran away with her. All her life she had heard stories of vicious shape-shifters that lived in the forest, of monsters which owned the night in such dim places, of dark witches who practiced spells much more ominous than love spells and lucky talismans.
"My feet hurt," she said in a small voice. "Can we rest awhile?"
Laris stopped, turned to her, and without warning lifted her into his arms. She was so surprised, she squealed a little. "I didn"t mean that you should carry me! I"m too heavy."
"You are not," he protested.
"My dress alone is heavy, wet as it is."
"Your clothing is more damp than wet at this point," he argued.
Verity pursed her lips. Was she going to be forced to purchase an obedience potion as well as a love potion? Laris"s step slowed, but he held her snugly as he moved through the forest. The river rushed to their right. To their left, forest creatures scurried and chirped. Eventually she rested her head on Laris"s fine and equally damp shoulder. To think she had once been willing to let him die for coming to her, when his presence in her tent had been at her initiation. No, if it had come to that, she would not have allowed anyone to hurt him, even though her reputation would"ve been ruined and no matter what Mavise said about her destiny, the emperor would not have chosen her. Emperor Jahn would likely not want to wed a woman who sought comfort in the arms of one of his sentinels, even if that comfort was of a nons.e.xual nature.
Well, mostly nons.e.xual.
Of course, she could make use of the love potion, if it came to that. It was obviously quite effective.
Before much time had pa.s.sed, Verity found herself drifting off to sleep in Laris"s arms. Jostled, held precariously, she slept. She even dreamed. She woke momentarily when Laris placed her on the ground in a small and shallow cave which protected them from the wind, but went right back to sleep as he settled himself beside her and took her in his arms. She woke again, just as momentarily, when he hooked his leg around hers in his sleep, as if she might escape if he didn"t hold her fast. She dreamed of being caught in the river"s swift current, but she did not panic as even in her dreams Laris was there.
When she woke again, Laris"s hand was clamped over her mouth, and he crushed his body against hers. For the span of a heartbeat, she panicked. What was he doing? Why?
And then she heard the voices, speaking not far away. Surely hours had pa.s.sed, but the night remained dark.
"She must be dead!" one man"s voice insisted. "It is only logical."
"I need proof, not logic."
This voice Verity recognized. It was that a.s.s, Wallis. She"d show him she was not dead! Laris would not allow her to move, much less speak. He held her tightly, much too tightly. Didn"t he recognize the voices of those from their party? She tried to pat his arm in a.s.surance, but she could barely move.
"The horse threw her into the river, just as I planned." This time Verity recognized the voice of the sentinel Cavan. She became still.
"A cliff would"ve been better," Wallis said, sounding very disappointed. "Then we would"ve had a body to present for proof of her unfortunate demise." He cleared his throat. "The mare carries no signs of the agitating herb you gave it?"
Verity held her breath. b.u.t.tercup"s strange actions had been planned! Wallis and Cavan wanted her dead! Her brows knit together. Why would anyone want her dead? She was pretty and sweet-tempered and only a little bit spoiled.
Instead of fighting Laris, she held on a bit tighter. In response he eased the hand that rested over her mouth.
"What of the other sentinel, Laris?" Wallis asked. "Was that his name?"
"The fool jumped into the river to save the girl," Cavan scoffed. "I knew he was sweet on the girl, but I had no idea he"d give his own life in an attempt to rescue her."
"What if he did save her? What if they"re both alive?"
"Then they will blithely and ignorantly make their way back to us, and we will try again," Cavan said calmly. "If the girl lives, and I doubt that"s possible, Laris will deliver her to us like the obedient sentinel that he is. Never fear, m"lord. If by some miracle she survived, she won"t last much longer."
The two men were walking away from the cave now, heading toward the riverbank, where they no doubt hoped to find her battered and broken body. Verity felt a tear slip from her eye. They didn"t even use her name. She was just the girl, a nuisance to be dealt with. How dare they?
When all had been silent for a while, and she was certain the men who had tried to kill her were gone, she whispered, "They want me dead!"
"So I heard," Laris whispered. His body remained atop hers, warm and hard and wonderfully protective.
"They gave b.u.t.tercup something which might very well have killed her!"
"It sounds as though the animal is well," Laris a.s.sured her.
"She had better be." It was bad enough that they"d attemptedto kill her. If they harmed b.u.t.tercup... "What are we going to do?"
Laris stroked a strand of horribly mussed hair away from her face. "I will take you to Arthes myself, Lady Verity. You will be safe there. The emperor will protect you." He kissed her forehead. "He is a good man." The words were grudging, but seemed honest enough.
"I"m sure he is," she responded.
At the moment Verity didn"t want or need the emperor to protect her. She had Laris.
THEY"D gotten an early start, leaving the inn well before first light. Now that Alix had a plan of sorts, he seemed to be in better spirits. There was less turmoil, less of that annoying indecision which made him difficult to read. Sanura smiled as they walked through the forest. She grinned as they rode together on horseback for a while. When they stopped for a break at midday, she kissed Alix for no reason. Not for seduction, not to reach more deeply inside him for the purposes of her gift, not for any reason but that she wanted to kiss him.
Sanura had this nonsensical feeling that all was right with the world, even though logically she knew very little was right. She and Alix might never be able to prove their innocence. The murder of the princess would very likely bring war. Given the opportunity, Vyrn would kill them both. Paki and Kontar would not hesitate to take Alix"s head.
But he loved her. She knew it to be true, because she felt that love so very strongly. Alix had never loved before, not like this. He had never given so much of himself to any woman, yet he gave all of himself to her. And she loved him! Just a few days ago she had wondered if she was capable of love, and here she was awash in its brilliance. She was loved. She loved.
And she was happy, perhaps truly happy for the first time in her life.
It was late afternoon when they stopped to rest the horse and feed the animal another handful of oats. There was a stream nearby where they could refill their waterskin and wash their faces. This time of year in this part of the world, the nights were cool and the days were warm. The land was coming alive with spring. There were wildflowers and b.u.t.terflies and fresh green buds on the trees, no matter what path they took.
Since leaving her home Sanura had often bemoaned the coldness and the ugliness of this new land, but today, thanks to Alix and the coming of spring, she saw the beauty in this strange place.
After washing her face and refilling the waterskin, she crept up behind Alix. He stood very still in a clearing where his horse grazed, his back stiff, shoulders back and spine rigid. Once again, he was in turmoil so that he was difficult for her to read. She lifted a hand to offer the small comfort of a hand on his back, but his voice stopped her.
"Don"t touch me."
A chill danced down Sanura"s spine. The change in his voice was subtle, but she heard it. She heard the nuance, the tension. The darkness. She knew, even before he turned to look down at her with those empty dark eyes, that Trystan was back.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, hiding her surprise by keeping her face and her voice calm.
"I told you I was going to reemerge. Didn"t you believe me?" He gave her a chilling smile.
She had been able to summon Trystan and send him away. It was a power no one else possessed, and she wondered if she had that power because Alix had loved her from the beginning.
"Go away," she said confidently. "I want Alix."
Unconcerned, he leaned down and placed his nose close to hers. "You can"t have him."
The confidence in his voice gave her a fright. Was Trystan so strong now? No. She had not been lying when she"d told Alix that he was the strong one, that he was in control. "You cannot stay," she said. "Go."
He reached around and grabbed her long braid, holding on tightly as he yanked her forward. "I"m not going anywhere. "
She sensed a new strength in him, a new confidence, and it scared her. All her newfound happiness was washed away.
"I have you to thank for this, Sanura," Trystan said. "You"re the one who weakened his defenses. You"re the one who paved the way for me to emerge once and for all. He was right to fear giving in to you, but you insisted. And you got your way, didn"t you? You seduced him, you made him want what he should not have." His smile was wicked. "When the one you call Alix broke all his own rules to have you, he knocked down the wall that had kept me under control for more than thirty years. I"ve been struggling all that time, I"ve been fighting to breathe and act and touch and control. My moments of victory were always brief and difficult, but that has changed. I"m free, and it was you who finally let me loose."
"No!" she whispered.
"And now, thanks to you, I"m going to have everything I want." He sounded so certain, as if he had not a single doubt.
"What is it that you want?" she whispered.
She had commented before that the slash of his eyebrows and the slant of his eyes could make Alix look demonic, malicious, and even soulless. He looked that way now, as he wrapped her long braid tightly around his wrist and tugged. "Everything that was once his will now be mine."
"You want all which was Alix"s?"
"No, I want all which was Alix"s as well as all that belongs to the other one."
"Your brother?"
"His brother, more rightly. I have no kin, no bonds of blood, no soul. When his brother is dead by my hand, I"ll be emperor."
She would shake her head, but he held her so tightly, so fast, she could not move her head. "Alix won"t allow that to happen."
"Alix will soon be entirely gone."
Sanura almost cried in relief. Soon, Trystan said. At least for now, there was still a chance that Alix would once again take control. Perhaps she had not killed the man she loved by making him love her, by tempting him to take what they both wanted. If he didn"t come back, it was her fault-hers and hers alone. She hit his hard chest with the palm of her hand. "Send Alix back now!"
The face she loved took on a smug and evil expression as the lips that had kissed her so well whispered once again, "No."
Chapter Eleven.
THE one she called Trystan caught Sanura up in a grip she could not fight against. He held her tight, and he liked the feel of her body against his. He smiled. His body. What wonderful words those were.
There was more than a touch of fear in Sanura"s eyes. She was afraid of him for so many reasons. She didn"t know if he would kill her or f.u.c.k her. In truth, he wanted to do both, but for the moment he would do neither. If he joined with her, she would see too much of him, and until the other was entirely gone, that might not be wise. Her Alix was sleeping, pushed deep into the dark place where Trystan himself had lived the vast majority of his life. He didn"t want Sanura to know that there was anything left of that man she loved, and he didn"t want to take the chance that somehow the two of them would join.
For that same reason he would not kill her. If anything would awaken the sleeping one, it would be a threat to his woman.
He wanted Sanura to remain afraid, but he did not wish her to realize that he was more than a little afraid of her.