"Sorry," she mumbled as her cheeks burned red.
I softened my voice. "No, no, it wasn"t that. I"m sorry. But, Ellie, you are capable of anything. Anything."
The skin between her brows wrinkled like she didn"t understand what I was saying, and any other emotion I was feeling turned to heartbreak. I quickly brushed it all aside so I could focus on the girl in front of me.
"And I"m here to show you how."
"Okay," she said quietly as a smile lit up her face.
"So I"ve been receiving a lot of orders lately and I don"t have time to fill them all. That"s where you come in," I said as I started shoving things into her hands. I spent the next hour teaching her the basics of knitting and watching her work on a simple plain blue scarf that a longtime customer had requested a week ago.
"I feel like an old, settled housewife." Ellie laughed as she balanced the knitting needles on her stomach. "I really like it," she said softly. "Is that weird?"
"No. It looks good on you." I reached over and squeezed her hand before she started working again. We worked in silence for a couple minutes longer when Ellie began wiggling around and nervously shifting her eyes to mine. I waited, allowing her time to work up the nerve to say whatever she was holding back. When she still didn"t say anything, I put my needles down and swiveled toward her.
"What?"
She startled, looking up as she lost her place and her own needles fell. "What what?"
I smiled. "You wanted to say something. Spit it out."
Ellie scrambled to get her scarf straight as she blushed. "I don"t know what you"re talking about," she mumbled. I merely raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to give it up.
"Well... I was just... wondering..." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before letting out a defeated exhale. "DoyouknowGrayson?" The words came out quickly before she peeked up at me from under her lashes.
"Who?"
"Damien"s friend... Grayson."
I frowned. "I don"t actually know any of his friends."
"He doesn"t really have any. Between working and me..." She shook her head. "D doesn"t have much time. That"s part of the reason I was so surprised. But he..." Trailing off once more, her blush grew deeper.
"He, what?" I laughed as I lightly poked her in the side with the flat end of the needle.
"He was really nice. I"ve never..." She shook her head, looking dejected. "Never mind. It"s stupid."
"What"s stupid?"
"Thinking about a guy right now. I"m pregnant." She paused to wave at her rounded abdomen. "Pretty soon I"ll be waddling," Ellie complained before wrinkling her nose in annoyance. "I"m going to be a waddler. How s.e.xy." She rolled her eyes.
"To the right man. Yes, it could be extremely s.e.xy." I wiggled my eyebrows.
"I"m pretty sure my brother would have a heart attack if I started dating. Besides I barely even talked to him. I"m being crazy right now." Ellie bit her lip. But I could see her considering it, what a relationship with Grayson would be like. Hope lit up her eyes and a small smile tugged at her lips.
I didn"t say any more on the subject as we continued to work in silence. The only thing I said was, "For a beginner, you"re getting the hang of it really fast." She mumbled her thanks, and at least seventy-five percent of it felt like she believed me. "Also, if we"re gonna be friends, the first thing you should know is that I"ll always call you on your bulls.h.i.t."
"We"re gonna be friends?" she asked shyly.
"We"re already friends, that was just an expression."
She smiled so wide, I thought her face might split. As I looked at Ellie, I realized how similar she was to a little kid, and it broke my heart to think about her having an addiction. That someone that innocent and kindhearted could be pulled into such a tragedy. It was true, addiction didn"t play favorites.
My smile was wide as I left a laughing Ellie on the couch, and dragged my girlfriend back to my room. I"d come home to the two of them talking and laughing on the couch, knitting supplies abandoned on the table in front of them. My curiosity was piqued when they told me it was about Ellie working for Naomi-I hadn"t even known about this side business she had. But I didn"t dwell on it too much, figuring I"d have plenty of time to learn more about it. Right then, I just had to get Naomi alone.
Coming home that way had been one of the most beautiful sights I"d ever seen, something I"d gladly get used to.
"Hey," I murmured against her lips.
"Hi." She nipped at my bottom one before kissing me. "How was work?"
"Not bad. I got commissioned to do a large piece for one of our regulars. He always tips well and his designs are always fun to draw."
"That sounds good," she said softly.
"Hey." I gripped her chin lightly and tilted her face up. Frowning, I asked, "Are you okay?"
She nodded, but I must have still looked concerned because she let out a defeated breath. I wasn"t at all sure what to expect and maybe if her question hadn"t been such a shock, I"d have realized her troubled face was about something else entirely. But when she asked, "Who"s Grayson?" all I felt was surprise.
Warily, I said, "A friend. Why?"
"Ellie mentioned him." I solidified even further. I had never considered what would happen if Ellie discovered the reason I sought Grayson out. I didn"t feel guilty, I had done it with her best intentions at heart, and really, we hadn"t even done much in the way of helping Ellie. During the few lunches we"d had, it felt like we"d genuinely become friends. So it didn"t feel like a lie when I told my sister that or when I told Naomi now. But I couldn"t deny there was an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach over the entire situation. If not for me, then for Grayson.
"What"d she say about him?" I asked as I disentangled myself and made my way over to my closet. I was facing my clothes, as I took off my shirt and worked on the b.u.t.ton of my jeans, when she said, "Just that she liked him."
"She"s having a baby."
"So?" she challenged. I could just imagine the look on her face. Her lips drawn into a thin line, and her eyebrow c.o.c.ked in the way that said I"m about to prove a point and make you feel stupid. G.o.d, I hated that look. And I loved it. I hated how much I loved it, and I loved how much it turned me on.
Sure enough, when I turned around that was the face I got. I watched as she pulled her bra out of her top and stepped out of her shorts, leaving her in nothing but a thong and a thin tank top. "Is this really what you want to discuss right now?"
"I just don"t think it"d be wise, that"s all." I phrased it carefully. Because although I loved arguing with her, I was more interested in getting her naked at this point. She must have felt the same way because she merely shrugged, and that was how we called a truce. Neither admitting defeat, but both of us realizing we didn"t need the win either.
She smirked as she crossed her arms, gripping the bottom of her tank before pulling it up and over. Naomi threw it behind her and revealed her mouthwatering t.i.ts. I stripped myself down to nothing before walking over and immediately taking one into my mouth. She yelped in surprise before moaning and gripping my hair, pulling me closer to her. After spending a few minutes alternating between them, showering her b.r.e.a.s.t.s with kisses before lightly biting and quickly soothing her nipples, I pulled back.
I laughed against her mouth before giving her a kiss. "d.a.m.n."
"What?" she asked, breathless.
"I really, really want to f.u.c.k you right now."
Her pants filled my ear as she shuffled me toward the bed and shoved me down. My eyes dipped for only a minute before refocusing on her eyes as she crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I easily brought my arms around her and held us together more tightly. Our nipples grazed, causing us both to hiss, but I tried to ignore the heat flaring between us.
"I fail to see the problem," she murmured before leaning forward and lightly pressing her lips to mine. My hands moved slowly over her before I twisted and laid Naomi on her back, hovering above her.
"The problem" -kiss- "is" -kiss- "you"re loud" -kiss- "and my sister" -kiss- "is" -kiss- "in the other room."
"So?" I smiled against her skin at the confusion and longing in her voice. Pulling back, I grinned down at her as I softly ran my fingers over her damp panties.
"Surely someone has told you that you"re very... vocal... and loud."
Her eyes narrowed even as her breath hitched when my hand slipped into her underwear and my thumb made slow circles over her c.l.i.t. "I haven"t heard you complaining."
"Oh, I"m not, sweetheart."
She shoved me and I willingly fell on my back beside her, laughing at the scowl still on her beautiful face. I was still smiling as she climbed on top of me.
"I"m just calling your bluff. There is no way you could keep quiet during s.e.x."
Naomi"s eyebrows rose in defiance. "Is that a dare?"
"What are we? Twelve?" I chuckled as I lifted myself up onto my elbows. "Besides, sweetheart, it"s a fact. I don"t have enough faith in you to make it a dare."
She glared. "f.u.c.k you. No, wait... f.u.c.k me. And I"ll prove to you how quiet I can be." Hostility didn"t even come close to describing the look Naomi was giving me. I actually don"t think there was a word invented yet that described how p.i.s.sed she looked. She quickly shimmied out of her thong before pressing her hands against my shoulders, shoving me back down, and taking my mouth in a fiery kiss. My eyes closed and I moaned into her mouth as I splayed my hands against her soft, warm back, pressing her further into me. When she began grinding her bare flesh against me, my hands flew to her hips, stopping her movements.
"I can most definitely stay quiet." Naomi reached between us and gripped my c.o.c.k. I hissed at the contact and let out a low moan as she began working me over with her hand. "Can you?" My eyes flew open to see her confident smirk. I gave her one right back as I removed her hand and settled against her entrance. Her breath caught, and she quickly scrambled to retrieve a condom from my nightstand before rolling it on me.
"I"m not the loud one," I said when she finished.
"Maybe not," she conceded. "But that doesn"t mean I can"t be quiet."
I shrugged. "Whatever you say."
Her eyes were full of fire as she slowly sank down on me. I let out a soft groan as my eyes closed. I would never get used to how I felt when I was inside Naomi.
She slowly started moving and my eyes opened when she raked her nails down my chest, leaving soft pink tracks in her wake. Biting her bottom lip, her brows were scrunched in concentration as she moved in a graceful rhythm. I gripped her hips and rammed up into her, causing a loud squeak to fly out of her mouth. I smirked as the noise reached my ears.
"Doesn"t"-pant-"count."
I decided to give her that one, just as a warning. After all, it really wasn"t fair. My d.i.c.k was impressive and I knew how to use it. "Fine."
She glared, hating the handicap, as she rode with more vigor. Slamming down on me as her nails dug almost painfully into my shoulders. My noises remained soft, while Naomi held hers in completely.
I flipped her over and rested my forearms next to her shoulders before weaving my fingers through her hair until both my hands were gingerly cupping her head. We stared deeply into each other"s eyes as we both climbed higher.
Naomi"s mouth opened, ready to release one of my favorite sounds in the world. But she didn"t. I watched her brows furrow as she bit her lip and tried to contain her pleasure. It was almost painful to watch. I didn"t even care at this point that my sister was in the other room.
"Okay, you"ve made your point. Let go." I grunted as I continued to thrust hard.
She stubbornly shook her head as her eyebrows continued to pucker. Growling, I shifted my angle so I was pounding into her in a way that had to elicit some kind of noise. She let out a barely audible whimper. Not good enough.
"You"ve got to be getting close," I taunted, my voice filled with l.u.s.t. "I know I am." I groaned loud and long. She opened her mouth and I smiled in victory. Finally. She was finally going to- Naomi leaned forward and sank her teeth into my shoulder as her p.u.s.s.y clenched around my c.o.c.k, her whole body trembling in pleasure as she released the sound into my skin, m.u.f.fling it. She continued to shake as wave after wave crashed over her. I shoved my hand between us and rubbed her c.l.i.t in tight circles.
With a squeak, she fell back and started shoving at me. "Too much. It"s... too... much. G.o.d, Day..." Her soft voice pushed me over and in four quick thrusts I was coming, moaning into her neck as my o.r.g.a.s.m tore through me.
I rolled off her, panting, as I stared at the ceiling. "Okay, you win." I looked over as she let loose a blinding grin.
She was still smiling wide when she looked my way. "Jacka.s.s."
Both of us turned on our sides at the same time and our lips met in the middle, gently and in no rush. I pushed my tongue into her mouth for a quick taste before moving my kisses down her neck, relishing the sound of her moans again, as her sweet fruity scent washed over me. When I pulled myself up and looked down at her, she was staring at me through half-opened eyes with a dopey grin on her face. We shared one last, slow kiss before sleep pulled us both under.
We woke up the next morning to Ellie squealing about how she finished her first project. Thankfully she knocked and hollered instead of opening the door. We were still naked and lying on top of Damien"s blankets, leaving only my left breast to the imagination.
After telling us to quickly get dressed, we heard her scurry down the hall before the TV turned on.
"Morning," Damien mumbled.
"Hi." I snuggled back against him, wishing we could stay here all day. But we were both anxious to see what Ellie completed, so we did as we were instructed and quickly got dressed before joining her. It was hard not to smile in the face of her joy.
She"d finished the blue scarf she"d been working on the day before. There were a few flaws, but I didn"t mention them. Ellie"s confidence was more important, and in time, she"d get better at knitting whether I brought them up or not.
Damien asked Ellie more about it since he didn"t get much of the information yesterday, and when she started talking animatedly about my business and her new involvement, I could see his pride, and how happy he was that she had this.
I watched as he rumpled her hair and hugged her to his side. I watched as he encouraged her, and told her that he loved her and couldn"t wait to see all she would accomplish. I watched him and wondered if this was how a dad was with his daughter. From everything they"d both told me, Damien had been that kind of support for her as long as they could remember. They"d made it clear that neither of their parents was going to win a father or mother of the year award.
But I could see how hard Damien was trying, how much he wanted to be everything he could for Ellie. A brother, a mother, a father. And I wondered how she felt in return.
I"d had Derek, and even Alara because she was my sister just as much as he was my brother, but I always wanted more. I couldn"t decide if I was being selfish or if that was how everyone who was missing a parent felt. But no matter how much other people tried to compensate, it never felt like enough.
And while I had been able to shove it to the back of my mind the past few weeks as I dealt with my feelings for Damien, now that we were together, all the anxiety over my mother came flooding back. Especially because I was still missing Derek. Talking to him yesterday and knowing I was seeing him today helped, but I was nervous about what we"d discuss and if we"d even be able to avoid the subject of Mom. My heart hurt at how Derek and I had drifted; we had to find a way to mend that today.
The longer I stared at Damien and Ellie, the more I saw it. It was enough for Ellie. Damien was enough. She looked at him and saw her entire world. She wasn"t lacking and she didn"t wish for more. And I wanted to beg her to tell me how she did it.
I wanted her to tell me how I should ignore the sting of my father walking away and never looking back.
I wanted her to tell me how I should forget that my mother constantly chose drugs over me.
I wanted her to tell me how you accept the fact that the two people who were supposed to love you the most, didn"t seem to love you at all.
I sat at the bar high top, twisting the gla.s.s of water in my hands, while I waited for Derek to show up. Letting my eyes roam over the bar, I paused when a couple a few chairs down caught my attention. I smiled, taking in how in love they seemed to be. Touchy and affectionate but not obnoxious. His phone rang and when he glanced down, he let out an irritated sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose. He showed the woman who was calling and I watched her back straighten as she pulled away slightly.
"Yes?" he answered in a calm tone. His eyes closed like he was in pain as he listened to whoever was on the other line. "No, of course I didn"t forget. I"m actually at the store picking up flowers." My brows furrowed as he mouthed "sorry" to his guest. She waved him off with a genuine smile and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, causing his shoulders to lose some of their tension.
"What kind of father forgets his daughter"s ballet recital?" After a few more yeses and hmms, he hung up.
"I"m sorry about that. I completely forgot." He chuckled, and my jaw dropped. It took everything in me to stop myself from walking over and punching him in the face. "Rain check?"
"Of course." She smiled as she kissed him on the lips this time. "Your wife"s pretty p.i.s.sed, huh?"
Shaking his head, he answered, "A little. But I think it"s just because she"s getting suspicious, we might have to cool it for a couple weeks." He looked regretful as he said it and even though she did as well, I saw her nod her agreement as they both got up and headed toward the exit, where they"d walk right by me.
The closer they came, the more my anger rose. Because even though the situation was completely different, I couldn"t help but wonder if anyone had ever heard my mother telling similar lies to me and Derek.
"Oh, no, the kids think I"m grocery shopping." She"d laugh as she stuck another needle in her arm before pa.s.sing it on to whoever she was tight with that week.
I wondered if people sat around listening to her bulls.h.i.t and felt as sorry for us as I felt for this a.s.shole"s wife. And if any of them ever had the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she saw sense. To tell her to get clean and go home to her kids who loved and missed her.
It was a pointless thought. Junkies couldn"t see the destruction around them, they had tunnel vision, and the only light at the end of the tunnel was their drug of choice. Everything else was lost in the periphery.