I didn"t like his tone of voice, but to be nice, I said, "If and when my orders change, I"ll follow them. However, I"m a civilian, and I reserve the right to pick the time and place of my debriefing. And it"s sure not here."
Bill Stanley looked at me and said, "It would be a good idea for you to come to this meeting since we"ll be discussing your exit from the country. You don"t have to say any more than you want to say."
"Goes without saying." This was a diplomatic reception, and I was trying to be diplomatic, but this is not my strong point, and I asked Bill, "What were you thinking?"
"Excuse me?"
"What were you thinking when you teamed up your girlfriend with me to go on a dangerous mission?"
He seemed to be thinking about what he was thinking. He cleared his throat and said, "Sometimes, Mr. Brenner, matters of national security take precedence over personal considerations."
"Sometimes. And if this is one of those times, then you shouldn"t have any gripes about what happened."
He didn"t like that and replied, "To be honest with you, this was not my idea."
I didn"t bother to ask him whose idea it was, though I said, "You could have said no."
He was seething, but said nothing.
I continued, "Though that wouldn"t be a good career move."
Bill may have thought I was implying that he was an ambitious company man who would pimp his girlfriend to advance his career. He remained politely silent, however, the way people do when they"re speaking to someone with a terminal condition.
Susan thought it was time to change the subject and said, "Paul, I told Bill that we did discover the ident.i.ty of the murdered lieutenant, but that we still can"t determine the ident.i.ty of the murderer."
"Did Bill believe that?"
Bill answered, "No, Bill did not believe that."
I said to Susan, "Bill doesn"t believe that."
Susan said, "Well, it"s the truth." She continued, "I told Bill we"d found Tran Van Vinh, but that we"d decided not to chance carrying those things with us, so we hid everything."
Our eyes met for a half a second, and I looked at Bill to see his reaction, but Bill was as inscrutable as Colonel Mang.
I really didn"t know if Susan had said this, because Susan says lots of things. She knew the ident.i.ty of the murder suspect all along, and Bill knew that, so she was trying to protect me, which was nice, but it wasn"t going to play. I said to Bill, "Actually, it would be a good idea if the Vice President attended this midnight meeting."
Bill looked at me a long time before informing me, "The Vice President has no interest in a murder investigation."
"He may be interested in this one. Tell his staff that it"s in his best interest to be there."
Bill reminded me, "You have signed various statements relating to national security and official secrets. Regardless of your present status, they are all still binding."
"I also swore to defend the Const.i.tution."
He gave me a long, hard stare and said, "I"m sure you were told in Washington that if you took this a.s.signment, your life could be in danger."
That was usually the type of statement made before a mission, not after, so in this context, it could actually be a threat.
I said to Bill, "Could I have a word with you alone?"
Before Bill could reply, Susan said, "No."
I said to her, "Personal only. No business."
She informed me, "I won"t be discussed like that."
Bill picked up the theme and said to me, "We"re all mature enough to discuss this together."
I informed everyone, "I"m not that mature." I moved off and motioned for Bill to join me. "Guy talk."
Susan looked p.i.s.sed, but stood where she was and lit a cigarette.
Bill and I moved out of earshot, and I said to him, "We need to talk about Susan, and... oh, one piece of business. If I find out, or even suspect, which I do, that I was the expendable party in this operation, and that you knew of, approved of, or planned that, then I"ll kill you. Now, let"s talk about Susan."
He stood staring at me and said nothing.
I can do soap opera for about five minutes before I revert to my true self, and I felt I needed to do this, so I said, "On a personal level, I"m truly sorry about what happened. I admit to knowing about your involvement with Susan, and it"s not my habit to chase other men"s wives or girlfriends." Most of the time. "And as I"m sure you"ve been told, I"m in a committed relationship with someone at home. So I make no excuses for what happened, and you should know that Susan resisted my attentions. The mission is over, and I"m going home. I apologize again for any trouble I"ve caused between you and her, and I hope you both can put this behind you."
I studied his face as he processed this gentlemanly, man-to-man bulls.h.i.t. I actually believed some of it myself, and I really was conflicted about Susan. I was fairly sure, however, that Susan had no further interest in Bill, and maybe Bill had no further interest in Susan. But I needed to clear the air, as they say, and give Bill a chance to say his piece.
But Bill had nothing to say, so I continued to take the blame for whatever vague involvement I was admitting to. I told him, "Susan, in fact, kept the relationship platonic and businesslike until we were forced by circ.u.mstances to share a room in Dien Bien Phu." Bill would like to believe that, and I felt I"d done my chivalrous duty toward the lady, and I was ready to get back to the subject of me killing him, and vice versa.
Bill said to me, "I"m staying at the Metropole."
"Good choice."
"When I checked in yesterday, there was a sealed envelope waiting for me, sender unknown."
"Really? You shouldn"t open packages without a return address."
"Yes, I know that. But I did. Inside the envelope were twenty photographs of you and Susan at a beach, labeled Nha Trang, Pyramide Island." He added, "All you were wearing were your smiles."
Whoops. I said, "Well, I remember being at the beach, and we were wearing bathing suits. Those pictures must have been digitally altered." I said, "Well, I remember being at the beach, and we were wearing bathing suits. Those pictures must have been digitally altered."
"I don"t think so. What the h.e.l.l possessed you two to cavort publicly in the nude when you knew you were being followed? Did they teach you anything at whatever school you went to?"
The man had a point, so I said, "I admit to a lapse of judgment."
"And then you tell me you and she had a platonic relationship until a few days ago."
"Well, we just went skinny-dipping. It was my idea."
"I"m sure. Haven"t you ever heard of telescopic lenses?"
"I really don"t want a lecture from you."
"These photographs could be used for blackmail."
"Actually, I think the police are sending them to everyone, yourself included, to embarra.s.s Susan. So that rules out blackmail."
"My G.o.d..." He asked me, "Have you seen these photographs?"
"Actually, I have. Colonel Mang was kind enough to give us a sneak preview."
He shook his head and seemed lost in thought. He said to me, "You may not care, but Susan comes from a good family with some social standing, and-"
"Bill, cut the Ivy League, Junior League s.h.i.t, before I lose my temper. We both care about Susan. End of discussion."
"All right..." He looked at me. "Susan told me she loves you. Certainly she told you that."
"Yes, she did, but this was such an artificial situation. She should think about it."
"How do you feel about her?"
"Conflicted."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that I keep discovering new facets of her personality." I think it"s called bipolar disorder, but Bill already knew that. To be honest, I"m not always sane myself, and that"s when Susan really appealed to me. But to be more loyal to Susan, I said to Bill, "She"s a remarkable woman, and I could easily fall in love with her."
He mulled this over. My five minutes of "Days of Our Lives" was drawing to a close, so I said to him, "I think this may be Susan"s decision and not ours."
Bill didn"t really know me at all, and he probably took everything I said at face value, despite what was in his briefing memo about me. He said to me, "I had the impression from Susan that you... that you felt the same way about her."
Before I could reply, Susan joined us and said, "I think that"s enough."
Time for a commercial break. I said, "I have to insist that nothing further is discussed about this case that I"m not privy to."
Bill replied, "That"s absurd and outrageous."
"Nevertheless, I insist."
Bill snapped, "For your information, you have no say over who speaks to whom. Susan does not work for you, and neither do I."
I asked him, "Who does Susan work for?"
"Not for you you."
Susan said, "Please, both of you-"
I interrupted, "Look, Bill, it"s time for you to take a reality check. Fate, luck, and hard work have put Edward Blake"s b.a.l.l.s in my hand. I didn"t ask for this, and I didn"t want it. But there it is." I held out my hand palm up and curled my fingers. "Now, I fully understand this is dangerous information, so I really need to be careful about who, what, where, when, and how it"s disseminated. Everyone will thank me later for my diligence and foresight. Including you, Bill. So, we have our choice of all three of us hanging out together until midnight, which is not my first choice, or all of us going our separate ways with no cheating, or Susan and I keeping each other company. Someone make a decision."
Susan said to Bill, "Paul and I are going to have a drink. We"ll see you later."
We left Bill Stanley smoking, and he didn"t even have a cigarette.
As Susan and I moved to a bar, she asked, "So, who won me?"
"We"re going to flip a coin later." I said to her, "Regarding this meeting, I do not not want you to back me up. Just stay neutral or pretend you"re voting for Edward Blake in the next election." want you to back me up. Just stay neutral or pretend you"re voting for Edward Blake in the next election."
"If that"s what you want."
We got a drink, and Susan said, "I think my days as a contract employee are over."
"Is that what you are?"
"I told you, I"m a civilian. No direct government involvement." She thought a moment and said, "They"ll also get me fired from my day job."
I said to her, "Look, sweetheart, there are maybe ten people in this world who know what this is about, and we"re two of them. The other eight think we have the evidence and they want it. If we had it, we could cut a deal. Also, if we"d told them there was no evidence, they might have believed us. But you told Bill we found the evidence and hid it. Now, we"re in the worst possible situation in regard to our health. Bottom line, all we have is too much knowledge and nothing to trade."
"Well... that"s one way to look at it."
"Tell me the other way so I know if I should bother to make my next car payment."
"Well... tell them the truth. Colonel Mang has the evidence and the witness, and he"s put two and two together. They"ll go nuts, but that takes the pressure off us. They"ll have to deal with Mang. Best scenario, Mang blows the whistle, Blake is ruined, the CIA kills Mang, and we live happily ever after."
"I don"t think life works like that. Look, there were two reasons to use civilians-one was plausible deniability if things went bad, the other was that they rarely whack one of their own. But if they think they have to, they"d whack us in a heartbeat."
"They"re not that ruthless."
"The CIA and Military Intelligence a.s.sa.s.sinated over 25,000 people here during the war."
"No they didn"t."
"You want to dance?"
"Sure."
We put our drinks down and went out to the small dance floor in front of the band. They were playing another American name place song, Ray Charles"s "Georgia on My Mind," and I pictured Edward Blake tallying electoral votes in his mind.
A lot of people were looking at us dancing, and the public affairs photographer took a picture of us, which I could see in the Washington Post Washington Post captioned: captioned: "Paul Brenner and Susan Weber, Hours Before Their Disappearance." "Paul Brenner and Susan Weber, Hours Before Their Disappearance."
I caught a glimpse of Edward Blake looking at us, but he didn"t seem particularly disturbed. I was starting to think that he was clueless about his problem.
The band swung into "Moon Over Miami," where there were lots of votes. I saw Bill talking to John Eagan, and they kept glancing at Susan and me as though they were trying to decide what size air shipment coffins we needed.
Susan said, "I wish we were back in Saigon dancing on the Rex roof, and that I"d told you then all I knew."
"That would have been a long dance."
"You know what I mean."
I didn"t reply.
"Did you tell Bill you loved me?"
"I don"t share my feelings with other guys."