Everyone was told as we convened for lunch that Piper and Polly had used Polly"s gifts on someone here to harm them and they were being held until it could be decided what to do with them. That was a good enough explanation for everyone.
Piper was also berated for a good long while about threatening her charge and a Special. Jeff and the others couldn"t seem to fathom how she could do that. She stayed silent and cried her angry tears and refused to further address anyone but Jeff didn"t give up.
"You can not harm, in any way, emotional, physical or otherwise anyone if this bunker or you will leave. Are we on the same page, Piper?" Jeff asked, not deflecting his tone.
"Who died and made you boss?"
"Piper...," Jeff warned.
"Whatever," Piper mutter.
Then Jeff turned to Polly.
"You will not use your gift on anyone is this bunker again or you will leave as well."
"So not fair! I shouldn"t be held responsible-"
"Are we clear?"
"Crystal," Polly sneered and huffed.
She was upset too but for different reasons. She thought she should get off the hook completely because Piper "made" her do it. The Keepers explained to her that it was her choice to partic.i.p.ate and she should have gone to someone else for help instead of letting Piper sway her choices. She squealed in protest but eventually was taken back to her room by Miguel and Piper was escorted by Ryan.
The Keepers were all about choice.
And Piper and Polly could no longer be considered friends. I heard them yelling all the way down the hall as they made their way to their rooms.
"Don"t b.u.mp me," Polly growled.
"You b.u.mped me!"
"Stop being a brat. It"s not my fault you"re stuck here. You got me into trouble!"
"You"re the brat! And spoiled!"
"So!"
Afterwards, we finished lunch. Margo, who had finally come down sometime during all the drama, sullenly made the soup I had prepared last night and tonight I"d make ramen noodles. Mmm.
Merrick was still feeling guilty and walking around like he had something to apologize for. I a.s.sured him over and over that I was fine. He hadn"t really hurt me.
He had pushed me against the wall. Grabbed my arms. I think that"s where his biggest problem was. He had used physical force on me in anger, though he didn"t really have any control over it.
I decided it was time to put an end to his misery and hash it out, once and for all. I made sure Lily was with Marissa and Jeff before I retreated. They were just coming back from the hall where their room is and we were walking hand in hand. I asked them if they minded watching her for a while as I had to try to help Merrick get over this. They understood and Marissa apologized again for not believing me.
Lily went to them eagerly and they skipped off to the second room together.
I pulled Merrick to our room for a little R & R. Requite and Restoration. Requite for the love he"s always shown me and restoration of his feelings that I trust him and love him completely.
He came with me but reluctantly, he wanted to stay out where people could see us. Didn"t want to be alone with me, which I was some peeved about. He was afraid. If it had been so easy for Polly to do that before, she could do it again and make him hurt me for real he had said. But I knew he"d never hurt me.
"Sit," I ordered him and locked the door behind me.
He sat down and I kneeled in front of him.
I explained how I knew there was something wrong the entire time he was angry with me. That I never doubted that he really loved me. That I knew something had to happen, to be resolved and was happy when it did.
He explained his feelings during it all. How he couldn"t believe how angry he was and was guilty for yelling at me but couldn"t do anything about it at the time. It overtook him. How he really and truly thought I could just leave him and move on because he wasn"t human and wasn"t good enough.
And that hurt me more than anything else he had to say or do.
"I can"t believe after everything we"ve been through together, you"d think that."
"You"re better than me, Sherry. I believed it because it was believable. It"s not crazy to think that Cain could have had feelings for you. Your gorgeous and lovable, you"re sweet and you take care of everyone. I just a.s.sumed that someone else showed interest and finally you decided to act on it, this time."
"That"s crazy! I"ve told you time and time again that that isn"t going to happen. I don"t know any other way to say it, Merrick!"
I was crying by this point, which he can"t stand. He is undone by my tears.
His face fell and he started to wipe them away with his thumbs.
"I"m sorry. Don"t you want me to be truthful?"
"Yes. Always. But I don"t want you to think that."
"But, that"s how I feel," he confessed as he pressed his head to mine.
"Listen to me." I was upset now. Almost as upset as when he accused me to begin with because now he knew the truth and was still thinking that the day will come when I"ll leave him for someone else. I pulled back. "If I wanted someone else I wouldn"t be with you. There"s so little time left to waste it on something your heart"s not in. I love you and I swear if this doesn"t stop I"ll...I don"t know but I"m sick of it! There is no one else I want. Nothing else I want. How many times do we have to be together in this room? How many times do I have to tell you I love you? How many times do I have to marry you for that to be crystal clear?"
He seemed taken aback. I was yelling and he knew I was serious. I was scared too. Scared that I"d have to have this argument every month for the rest of my life, every time a semi cute new guy came into the bunker. I was not interested in that.
"I know you love me but, I just think that you didn"t date enough before all this and you had a bad experience. You haven"t experienced enough to see what"s out there and you"ll see something you didn"t even know you wanted in someone else later and that"ll be that."
"Never. That"s the whole point in marriage, Merrick! You don"t get married until you find something better then get a divorce. You know, even if I did see something else I wanted, which I won"t, I promise you that, I would never act on it. The whole point of this ring I"m wearing," I picked my hand up in front of him in the dark, knowing he could see it, "is to show people, "Hey, I"m married, back off". I would never do what you saw me doing with Cain in that vision. Not with him, not anybody."
"I know you think that now, but you can"t know what you"d do in the future."
"Then why did you marry me?" I countered.
"Because I love you."
"Then why can"t that be my reason? Who"s to say you won"t see something you like in another woman and leave me, huh?"
He snorted like that was the dumbest thing he"d ever heard. It pushed me pa.s.sed the boiling point. My heart rate and breathing were out of control and I snapped.
"Merrick! Stop it! I"m not the kind of person to do that to someone else," I fought it but I burst into a sobbing mess, "and for you to have so little faith in me, hurts worse than anything. I"d rather you"d pushed me into a hundred walls than to say that to me."
I got up to leave. Our first real fight, without compulsion, and I was walking out. I thought he was going to let me go, let me walk out and leave him there but no. Just as I reached the door handle and wretched it open he grabbed my upper arm and swung me around, kicking the door back closed with his foot. He pulled me to him and kissed me fiercely until I couldn"t breath nor think.
He moved me backwards to the wall and continued to kiss me, so deeply I thought I"d suffocate if he didn"t let up soon. But he didn"t and despite my feelings, I didn"t die. He lifted me up and pressed me into the wall, his hand caressed my face, my arm, my hair, while his body held me in place. My legs instinctively wrapped around him. Then he pulled back enough to gasp out his words to me.
"I"m sorry," he murmured low into my hair and neck. "You"re right. Here you are, the sweetest thing to walk this planet and you"re mine and I can"t stop thinking about you not being mine. I"m sorry... It still just seems like a dream to me that you really want to be here with me. Maybe it"s the way this body reacts... I don"t know. It"s just so hard to accept that I could be what you really want, especially being a Keeper, not to mention be worthy of you."
I pulled back so he could see my face in the dark and know I mean business.
"I understand that, I feel the same way about you, and I have never cared that you are a Keeper. Have I ever said or done anything to make you think that that bothered me?" I didn"t give him time to answer. "I can"t handle this anymore, Merrick. I can"t handle you thinking I"m playing some kind of game with you. Not only is it insulting, but it"s absolutely not true."
"I know it"s not a game. You"re right. I was being an idiot. You"re just too good to be true sometimes. I promise I"m done, no more. I"m sorry. Ok?"
I paused just a second and heard the truth ring out in his voice.
"Ok."
I heard him exhale, like he"d been holding his breath. I realized I"d been holding mine too.
"I missed you so much," he breathed.
He nuzzled my neck and kissed under my jaw.
"I missed you, too."
"I"m so sorry. For everything," he said huskily as he continued to caress me.
"I know."
"Forgive me."
I couldn"t speak, he wouldn"t let me as he seared me with more scorching kisses.
"Say it. Say you forgive me, baby."
"I forgive you," I whispered against his chin.
"Say you want me."
"I want you. I"ll always want you."
"Tell me you need me here with you."
"I do need you. I can"t live without you, Merrick. You"re honest and thoughtful and human and a great father to Lily and you drive me crazy in every good way. I love you."
He exhaled, because he knew I was telling the truth.
"That"s good enough for me."
"Promise me that you"re done with this. Promise me that you understand that you are absolutely, not getting rid of me even if you wanted to, stuck with me."
"With all my heart, I promise."
"Good, now please, stop making me talk."
And he loved me and I loved him until it was so late, it was useless to even get out of bed. Though it hadn"t been much a fight to begin with, I think I learned why that little phrase about make-up s.e.x is so very true.
I feel someone rubbing my arm. I wake up, fully expecting to see... Who? Who was I expecting to see? I"m in the Rabbit after all. n.o.body ever rides with me but Danny. Matt refused to ride with me in it. We always took his big quad cab Ford everywhere. But, I had a feeling like I should be somewhere else, with someone else.
I pull off the ridge but am surprised at how dark it is out. It should be the afternoon. It should be...wait. Who"s that? A lady. Wait- I know her. Mrs. Trudy? I stop the car.
She waves to me and then she"s there, in the seat next to me. How do I know her?
"h.e.l.lo, sugar."
"Hey. How did you-"
"No questions. I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"I know you."
"Why of course you do. I"m only gone this world a few months and you already writing me off as a bad memory?" she asked playfully.
It all floods back. Everything. I remember her, her son, the bunker, her death. Merrick.
"Oh, Mrs. Trudy," my voice cracks with emotion.
"No tears, honey. Got no time for that." She looks at me thoughtfully. "You are still just as pretty."
"Mrs. Trudy. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too. But, darling, you gotta be strong, for my family. Our family. Be strong. Things are coming. Bad, bad, and more bad things. You gotta be perseverant. Diligent. Careful. Understand?"
"Yes. No. I don"t know, Mrs. Trudy. I don"t know."
"Yes you do. You can do this. Everything hangs in the balance. Everything. We gotta tip the scales, sugar. So eat up." She smiled. "Pack in all you got and be ready for whatever they got to throw at ya."