Upside Down

I"m not looking forward to this check up by any means, but like Mom and Dad said last night, it has to be done. A lot of things happened to me and no one knows what kind of side effects I could end up with. So, that leaves me little choice except to do this.

I don"t really care for doctors and hospitals though. I"ve spent far too much time in them over the years. Up until my change, the most notable incident was when some boys pushed me off the top of the climbing tower when I was 7. The fall broke some ribs and opened up a long gash in my side that had to be st.i.tched up. There were a lot of others over the years, but that"s the one sticks out the most in my mind.

Ugh! Enough mental dithering, I need to get ready. Anyway, as soon as the check up is over with, Chinatsu and I are heading to Playland. That alone gives me something to look forward to and will hopefully make this a little more tolerable.

I give Chinatsu her morning hug and get up out of bed while wondering what I should wear for today. Absentmindedly, I walk over to the closet, open it up and look over my different outfits. I don"t think I want to wear a mini-skirt to the hospital, so that writes off half of what I have. I have several really cute one-piece dresses we bought for me. Hmm… Aha! This one.

It"s a light blue off the shoulder one-piece with white pinstripes and a gathered waist. I thought it looked really good on me when I tried it on the other day.

Okay, that"s that, so what should I wear with it? I walk over to my dresser and look through my bra and panty sets, eventually settling on a set that"s almost the same color as my dress. Closing that drawer, I open the one below it. Ankle socks or knee socks? Hmm… I think the white knee socks would look best with this. With everything decided, I begin dressing.

I still need to fix my hair. I definitely envy those with short hair. Long hair is a serious pain in the a.s.s to take care of. Simply washing, conditioning and drying it is an endeavour.

I go to my desk to get my brush and a hair clip, when I notice the gold necklace with my parents wedding rings on it that Dad also gave to me last night. Nodding to myself, I pick it up and fasten it around my neck.

Picking up a white bow adorned hair clip and my brush, I walk over to Chinatsu"s room to ask her to braid my hair. I"d do it myself, but I"m slow and still not good at it. More often than not, I don"t get it tight enough and it all comes loose.

"Chinatsu, would you braid my hair?"

"Sure." She tells me as she finishes putting on her socks.

Standing up, she takes the brush from me. She brushes my hair to smooth it out, separates it into equal parts, quickly braids it and clips the end. I hope I can get as good at braiding as she is soon. I simply have to practice more I suppose. I turn and look myself over in the mirror on the back of the door. I look very pretty, even if I do say so myself. You might even say beautiful.

Chinatsu comes up behind me and slips her arms around me while looking at the two of us in the mirror. "Yes, Nee-chan. You really are." She tells me and my jaw about hits the floor. I"m telling you, I really believe she"s psychic!

"Come on Nee-chan, let"s go eat."

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I"m having a déjà vécu moment here and it"s stressing me out badly.

Mom dropping us off in front of the hospital while she went to park the car and a group of boys hanging out in front of the hospital entrance were the trigger for it. I tried telling myself they haven"t done anything wrong and I"m overreacting, but for all the good it did, I might as well have said nothing at all.

I leapt straight from being stressed out to a full blown panic attack when one of the boys saw me being supported by Chinatsu and he walked over toward us asking, "Is she okay? Do you need some help?" He kept coming until Chinatsu screamed at him,"You boys are the reason she is like this! Stay away!" All I could see was that blonde boy"s face from the mall as he leered at us with his vulgar smirk and laugh. I know this boy isn"t him, but knowing this intellectually is one thing, emotionally is a completely different matter.

"Come on Sornee, let"s sit down. Mom will be here in a little bit. It"s okay, I"m here with you."

I could barely hear her over the blood roaring in my ears. I"m certain anyone within 10m of us could clearly hear my heart racing. I somehow managed to nod and shakily walk the short distance to the bench with her supporting me.

When we sit down, she wraps her arms around me tightly and I bury my face against her shoulder as if I"m trying to hide from the world. She quietly repeats, "You"re okay. You"re safe. Nothing is going to happen to you," trying to calm me down.

It takes a few minutes, but my heart finally slows down and I"ve calmed down somewhat. Amazingly enough, I didn"t cry. I"m unsure of why not, maybe I was simply too panic stricken to do so.

Although I had thought of this idea before, I never followed up on it, because as a boy I was embarra.s.sed. I think it"s time though, embarra.s.sing or not. I need to talk to a psychologist to see if something can be done about my fears. Not only for myself, but for the people who love and worry about me. I seem to have very little control of my emotions since my change and I don"t know why. All I know is if I can"t do something about this, I"ll end up being an emotional cripple.

By the time Mom walks up to us, I"m fully calm and sitting beside Chinatsu while she holds my hand. Mom, of course, immediately notices and quirks an eyebrow at Chinatsu. It would be hard not to notice, when I had gone from exuberant and talkative to quiet and withdrawn in just the short amount of time she was away. Chinatsu barely moves her head when she nods at Mom, but I see it nevertheless.

I can feel her questions welling up, but she doesn"t give voice to them. It"s as if she knows I don"t want to talk about it right now and decides to leave it be.

"M-Mom, can you make an appointment for me to see a psychologist please?" I hesitantly ask while staring at her feet. I"m embarra.s.sed and ashamed, but I"m far more worried about what will happen if I don"t see someone about this. I don"t want to live like this anymore and I don"t want my family to be constantly worried about me.

Mom kneels down in front of me, placing her left hand on my thigh, and lifting my chin with her right.

"Sora, if that"s what you want to do, then that"s what we will do. There is nothing to be embarra.s.sed about, okay?"

"O-okay Mom. T-thank you." I replied voicelessly. I had doubts she could have even heard me. I guess she must have because she smiled and gently ran her thumb across my cheek.

"Sora, I"ve told you before that I"ll do whatever it takes for you to be happy and safe. This is just another part of that. Just let me know when you want me to set an appointment up for you."

I nod, wrap my arms around her neck and hug her. I whisper in her ear, "Thank you Mom. I know having a daughter like me has to be hard for you and Dad."

I feel her stiffen when I say that. She grabs my shoulders, pushes me back and looks me in the eye.

"Don"t you ever say that again young lady!" She sighs, then continues, "Sora, everyone has their problems. It doesn"t mean they don"t deserve to be loved. It doesn"t mean that they are worthless. So, I don"t ever want you to believe that about yourself. You have a lot to offer this world. You are generous, kind, caring, sweet, and willing to help anyone. Regardless of what you look like, you are a beautiful person."

She stops for a moment looking at me with a pensive expression. "Let me ask you this, how would it make you feel if your sister said something like that about herself?"

My eyes open a little wider in surprise. Chinatsu saying something like that about herself? It"s a little hard to imagine, but, "I"d get mad at her. I know it isn"t true, so I"d get really mad, but it would hurt me too." I tell her.

Mom nods then replies, "Look at your sister."

I look at Chinatsu for the first time since Mom arrived. She has tears rolling down her cheeks. Seeing that makes me feel even worse. I"d never want to intentionally hurt her. I"m simply too wrapped up in my own problems. I never considered how I see and talk about myself affects the people that care about me. I understand that now.

I squeeze her hand and tell her, "I"m sorry Chinatsu." She smiles at me sadly when I brush away her tears..

"Sora, it hurts us when you say things like that. Just as it would hurt you if we said something like that about ourselves. Understand?"

"I do now."

"Okay then, enough said about that for now. We need to go check in. It"s almost time for your appointment."

After I nod, Chinatsu and I stand up to walk inside the hospital to check in.

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"Sora Kobayashi to see Doctor Sato." Mom tells the receptionist, who types my name in.

"Ah, yes. You will need to go to the blood lab first. That is in B1 room 12. I see he also has ordered an MRI and EKG. Once you finish in the lab, please go to the MRI in B3 room 1. The EKG will be done in exam room 2 on the second floor. Doctor Sato will meet you there."

"Thank you." Mom tells her.

We head down to the lab as directed. I"m nervous of course, but Mom said nothing and simply held me while I hid my face again when the nurse took blood from me. Five huge vials of it, so I got a little dizzy when I stood back up. Mom and Chinatsu each take one of my hands as we walk to the elevator to go to have the MRI done.

When we arrive at the room, a receptionist tells me, "Please use the dressing room over there and change into a gown. You can keep your underwear on, but if your bra has an underwire you"ll need to remove it as well."

After I change, I was taken back into a room with a huge machine in it. It looks like huge doughnut with a table through the middle of it. They have me lie down on the table, put a strap across my forehead and tell me not to move. It takes about forty minutes, but they scan me from head to foot.

When I change back into my clothes, we head up to the exam room. There they have me take off my dress and put on a gown again and attach several sticky patches to me. Then clip leads to the patches and tell me not to move. Fifteen minutes later, they unhook me and take the patches off. The nurse tells us the doctor will be with us shortly and leaves the room. I never understood why they always say the doctor will be with us shortly, when they never are. Half an hour later he shows up.

"Good morning everyone. How are you feeling today Ms. Kobayashi? Has anything else happened?"

"I"m just fine, thank you. No, nothing else has happened." While I answer him he is reading from the computer table he is holding. Then looks at me. "Your EKG results are excellent. I looked over your MRI and there are no abnormalities." He looks back down at the tablet for a moment, then back at me. "Have you been having mood swings or trouble controlling your emotions?"

My eyes fly open in surprise. How did he know? "Umm… Yes, I seem to be all over the place. I cry easily and uh, like outside the hospital I had a panic attack because some boys were hanging around the entrance."

"Mhmm. Well, I can see from your blood tests your estrogen and progesterone levels are extremely high, so that could account for your emotional instability. The nanites are still active as well."

He squats down until he is eye level with me. "We ran a lot of tests to find out what the nanites are doing since they didn"t break down after finishing your change. Ms. Kobayashi, I"m not sure how to explain it in easy to understand terms, but the nanites are basically maintaining your cellular structure. Do you remember when I took blood from you before releasing you?"

I nod.

"Good. It surprised me when I removed the needle the wound healed almost instantly. It seems that"s another function of the nanites. You will heal very quickly whenever you are injured. In most cases without any treatment whatsoever from what we can tell. You will never get sick either."

He takes a deep breath and continues, "The nanites are also constantly rebuilding your telomeres. Ms. Kobayashi, you"ll age much more slowly than other people and live a much longer life. We don"t even have an idea of how long. Do you understand what I"m telling you?"

I nod. I learned about telomeres in school. They protect information the chromosomes contain during cell division. If the nanites are rebuilding them constantly my cells basically won"t age or will age very slowly.

"Ah, yes. Your uterus and ovaries are fully formed and functional. The last time you were here we took an ovum to test."

All kids are tested when they reach p.u.b.erty, but it"s just wrong to do that when someone is unconscious.

"Congratulations Ms. Kobayashi. You are fertile."

I"m fertile just as Dad said. So, my parents really did find a solution to the population problem. Although it doesn"t make any sense for them to have kept it hidden since they did. There has to be good reasons behind it, as they were the most logical people I knew.

"Have you begun to menstruate yet?"

His question brings my wandering mind to a screeching halt. My eyes fly wide open in surprise and I begin blushing furiously. A period? Another thing that never even occurred to me. I"ll be having those from now on. Thankfully, Chinatsu saves me from having to answer such an embarra.s.sing question.

"No, she hasn"t."

"Well, that isn"t a problem as of yet. If she doesn"t start in the next couple of weeks we will have to look at it in more detail. Do you have any questions?"

"Umm… Will the nanites keep making changes to me like they did last time?"

"If you mean will they continue to make forced changes to your body structure, then we have no answer yet. We are still in the process of finding out what they are programmed to do. In my opinion though, I believe that was the last round of forced changes. I can"t see them being programmed to continue to do that. It"s just too hard on your body. It would defeat the purpose behind being changed if it killed you by continuing to do so. Anything else?"

I shake my head.

"Okay, well it was nice to see you again Ms. Kobayashi. I"m happy you are doing so well. We will see you next Sat.u.r.day. Have a nice day."

He bows to us and leaves the room. "Well, now this was just all kinds of fun." I think. I glance at my watch. "You"re kidding me!" It isn"t even noon yet and I"m exhausted.

"Chinatsu, I know we were going to go to Playland after this today, but can we do it another time? I just want to go crawl into bed and sleep." I ask her as I stand up to go get dressed.

"Of course, we can go there anytime after all. There is no point to it if you aren"t up to playing."

"Okay. Let"s go home and you two can take a nap." Mom tells us.

This might not have been a long time to be out of the house, but it was far too eventful and stressful for me.