Chapter 5: Spiky Konpeitō
Isecai’s Important Note:
I’m going to start using j.a.panese suffixes and p.r.o.nouns in direct sentences (a.k.a within dialogues). Sorry, I can’t resist it lmao.
Somehow, I managed to save a slot of time and came to the main village for the sake of visiting my sick brother, Jörg. It seems that he has been staying put in his bedroom.
I arrive at his room and knock on the door. There’s no answer. I knock once again. And as expected, there’s still no answer.
“Jörg, are you in there?”
I can feel a presence, I’m pretty sure someone is in the room. I abruptly turn the door k.n.o.b. Seems like it’s not locked.
“I’m coming in, Jörg.”
I only gave that simple warning before entering Jörg’s bedroom.
☘
It’s the first time I ever stepped into Jörg’s room. The view inside startles me. Aside from the spear leaning on the wall, there’s practically nothing. It’s Jörg, you know? I thought his room would be flashier, more luxurious.
Looking at this room makes me even further from understanding the human called Jörg. The room is that hollow.
“Jörg, I’ve come to visit.” That’s what I said before sitting on the chair beside the bed. Jörg peeks out from the bed cover, looking at me as if looking at the most annoying thing for him.
“What, Nii-san? Have you come to laugh at me?”
“Why would I?”
“Mr. Nice Guy! You see, it’s my loss, the big mouthed, insulting, hateful guy in your book! As an Arnold, you eliminated me in the spear talent that I’m supposed to have, becoming the heir to the fiefdom, I’m sure it really feels good, doesn’t it? Thanks to you, I’m back to just being a useless younger brother! I’m worse than you in everything, just a worthless human being.” Jörg raises his voice.
Perhaps, the spear is the only support for his mind. Once that’s taken away from him, there’s no way he can stay calm.
“I never thought that you’re worthless, Jörg. Objectively speaking, you have the talent in martial arts, you can think fast, and you have a good ability to learn. There’s no one as talented as you in Arnold.”
Jörg became rebellious from continuous comparisons against me, but he was a man with talent to begin with, an excellent child from a long time ago. If I wasn’t around, he would have been the antic.i.p.ated heir to the fiefdom in everyone’s eyes.
“Maybe you don’t. But I’m still no match for you. In everything.” Saying that, Jörg turned his face away. He paused a moment before speaking again, “Hey, what are you planning to do with me? As the next lord, you can do anything to me. Are you driving me out by myself? Or, are you taking revenge for the things I did to you until now? Whatever, I don’t care anymore. Do whatever you like.”
Jörg acts completely negligent. Is he afraid of my retaliation?
“I don’t really hate you, though. I have no plans to take revenge on you either.”
“You’re lying. I did a lot of horrible things to you. There’s no way you won’t resent me.”
“I really don’t resent you. I don’t hate you either. I only think of you as annoying…… Ah, what you did to Tina made me angry for real, though. But this Jörg, the one in front of me, isn’t a nuisance, so I don’t mind it. I don’t think I have the energy to hate someone, it’s a waste of time.”
Jörg looks speechless, his lips are trembling all over. Then his face contorts in sadness, before showing a dry smile as if he gets it.
“I knew it, Nii-san. You don’t even resent me, right? Everything is just my one-sided struggle. I knew it, you have no interest in me whatsoever.” He murmurs as if he’s given up in everything.
“……I’m telling you what I think until now. I have no interest in you, Jörg. But I wish to change. I want you to forgive me. I never looked at anything besides my own dreams. I never thought of anything besides making pastries, neglecting you in the process. Even though you’re my only brother in the whole world.”
That’s my true feelings. I only had the room to think about how to succeed the fief. Only now I realize how I have wronged others. That’s why I want to make it right. Jörg and I are brothers. That fact isn’t going to change.
In that case, I want us brothers to be happy.
“……What was that? Saying all of that now, are you pitying me?”
“You’re wrong. It’s not for your sake, but mine.”
“You just forced those feelings on me. Who do you think you are? You know that you never cared for me whatsoever.”
“That’s why I have to change. From now on, I’m going to stay close to you for real, as your brother.”
With the tears start flowing, Jörg looks away.
“……Jeez, you’re so late, Nii-san. I always wish you’d turn around. If you looked at me, I would’ve gladly handed over the headship of the family. I knew that everyone would understand, because you were a better fit to govern Arnold instead of me. ……I always admire you.” Jörg spoke as if he was choking.
Those words make me understand that he was really lonely.
It doesn’t mean that his past wrongdoings or negligence don’t exist. It’s just, now I get that he also has his own thoughts behind them.
“I’m actually happy to hear your words. ……Jörg, I think it’s necessary to put some distance between us. As long as I’m here in this fief, people are going to look at you just as my younger brother. That’s why, I have a proposal for you.”
After I said that, Jörg turned to look at me.
“I sent a request to Marquis Fernandes to let you become a baron’s attendant.”
Jörg becomes warped because he’s always being compared to me. If he can put his effort to use his own talent and hard work, something is most likely going to change. He has to utilize the quick wits that he was born with.
“It’s different from an excellent man like you, but can someone like me become a baron’s attendant?”
“It’s usually impossible. However, Marquis Fernandes noticed my pastry-making skills. Furthermore, he’s relying on me to present some pastries as a gift to a ducal house. If the marquis is satisfied with that pastry, I was promised that you could become an attendant as a reward.”
A n.o.ble’s attendant isn’t a bad status. It’s even a desired employment for a son of n.o.ble who couldn’t inherit the peerage.
“Nii-san, is it okay? You’re using your hard-earned reward for me.”
“I want to do that. Jörg, I wish you’d put your best effort in a place without connections to Arnold. As a man, you’d like to try that, right? To see how far you can go with your own power.”
Jörg stepped on the wrong path where he felt strained from his inferiority complex against me, where he only wanted me to look his way. What he needs right now is putting some distance from me and having an environment that will reward him for his efforts.
“Thank you, Nii-san. I want to go to somewhere I won’t be compared to you. I want to try going to a place where I’ll be recognized not as your younger brother, but as myself.” Jörg’s mutters sound lonely.
“Hey, Jörg. I still have the continuation to this talk,” I said, pausing for a moment there. “In the baron’s place, after you try going all out, I want you to decide on your own path there. Whether you want to keep working there all your life, or you want to come back here to Arnold.”
“Coming back to Arnold?”
“That’s right. If you feel like it, if you have truly grown up, I wish to rely on you as my a.s.sistant. I told you just now. You have talent, Jörg. I want you to lend me your strength. Of course, if you’re more interested in your new environment, it’s okay not to come back. There’s still a long time before you have to decide on your path. Meanwhile, I want you to think of your choice…… of your own life.” I convey it strongly.
I won’t pressure him to choose one or the other. Because that’s his life.
“My choice…… Yes, I’ll do that, Nii-san. I want to be aware of the path I’m taking. I’ll stop being captivated by you.”
Jörg shows me his smile. That kind of carefree smile is his first in ten years, I think.
“Work hard. Jörg. Well, I’ll send you some letters, and I’ll be happy to receive some from you. Because we’re brothers, right?”
“Nii-san, you’re shameless. You know how distant you were for ten years already.”
His words are harsh, but there are tender emotions in there as we both laugh. After a long, long while, I finally feel like we’re really brothers.
“This is your farewell gift.” I pa.s.s the wrapped jar to him.
“Nii-san, this is?”
“It’s sweets that I made for your sake. They’re called konpeitō.”
Jörg opens the wrapping. Beneath it, there’s a jar of colorful sugar candy, konpeitō. It’s small, spiky sweets in multiple colors, filling up the jar. I made the variations by mixing some extracted essences from vegetables into boiled, concentrated honey.
“They’re hard and spiky, sounds like us, right? It looks like that, but after putting them in your mouth for a while, they’ll become round and really sweet. I wish that we can become like that.”
Jörg grins and puts one konpeitō into his mouth. Rolling it around, the konpeitō vanishes. “Nii-san, this, it’s amazing, it’s sweet and brittle, ah I see, this sweetness, is warm, sweet, and calming. It’s a great sweet. It’s great if we can become these kind of brothers.”
Jörg slightly looks and sounds like a child. It suits him.
“These sweets won’t get spoiled. Bring them with you throughout the years. When it feels tough, take a few of them. That’s the present I’m giving you. These sweets are just for you. Until you return home, I won’t make this for anyone else.”
“Specially made for me, I’m really happy. Nii-san…… Thank you.” Jörg hugs the jar tight. “I had no idea that you’re such a romantic man.”
“Did you? That being said, I know nothing about you either. But that’s okay, isn’t it? From now on, let’s get to know each other, one step at a time.”
After that, we talk to each other until the sun is down. That is just as if we’re really good normal brothers. The sweets that I’m presenting to the d.u.c.h.ess for my sake, for his sake too, has to be really convincing to everyone.
Isecai’s Notes:
LMAO JORG. If Kurt has any interest in you, I think this t.i.tle will appeal to a whole different market.
Not that I object.
But aaaaaah satisfying, one volume and a few chapters before they could patch things up. I’m glad. Finally! I even changed my personal rule against using p.r.o.nouns so that you can imagine Jorg being cute and calling “nii-san”. …Oh come on, he’s, what, 10? How can he be uncute? //oi
I’ll probably go back too to fix this and “tou-san”/”otou-sama”, because they have different nuance than saying “Father”, after all. You know, in case you wanna go back and reread everything sometime.