said Madame d"Albret, "which is, that your father has completely resumed his authority, and I do not think will ever yield it up again."
"My poor father," replied I, shedding tears, "I feel for him."
"He is certainly to be pitied," replied Madame d"Albret, "but it is his own conscience which must be his greatest tormentor. He was selfish enough not to feel for you during your years of persecution, and rather than have his own comforts invaded by domestic brawls for a short period, he allowed you to be sacrificed. But observe, Valerie, if you have still a wish to return to your parents, it is not too late. The regiment does not leave Paris till next Thursday."
"Oh, no, no," cried I, "my mother would kill me; don"t mention that again, madame," continued I, trembling.
"I will not, my child, for to tell you the truth, you would not appear in so favourable a light, if you were now to return. You have caused much grief to my sister and husband, and they would not receive you with cordiality after having thus trifled with their feelings. It would also be a victory for your mother; and I doubt not but that in a short time she would again recover that power which for the present she has lost.
You never can be happy in your family after what has pa.s.sed, and I think that what has been done is for the best. Your father can well spare one child out of fourteen, having little more than a long sword for their support. Your supposed death will be the cause of your father retaining his lawful authority, and preventing any of the remaining children receiving such injustice as you have done; and remorse will check, if it does not humanise your mother, and I trust that the latter will be the case. I had well weighed all this in my mind, my dear Valerie, before I made the proposal, and I consider still that for your sake and for the sake of others, it is better that you should be the sacrifice.
Nevertheless, I repeat, consult your own feelings, and if you repent the step which you have taken, there is yet time for you to return."
"My dear madame, return I never will, unless I am taken by force. All I feel is, that I should like that my father"s bitter anguish was a.s.suaged by his knowledge of my being still in existence."
"And so should I, Valerie, were it possible that the communication could be made, and the same happy results be arrived at; but that cannot be, unless it should please Heaven to summon your mother, and then you might safely inform your father of your existence."
"You are right, madame."
"Yes, I think I am, Valerie; for, after all, your father duly deserves his severe penance, which is, to visit the Morgue every day; but painful as is the remedy, it is necessary for the cure."
"Yes, madame," replied I, sobbing, "all you say is true, but still I cannot help weeping and pitying my poor father; not that it alters my determination, but I cannot command my feelings."
"Your feelings do you honour, Valerie, and I do not blame you for your grief. Do not, however, indulge it to excess, for that is turning a virtue into a failing."
There were still three days remaining previous to the departure of the regiment for Lyons. I was sorely distressed during this time. I pictured to myself my father"s remorse, and would gladly have hastened to the barracks and thrown myself into his arms, but my mother"s image rose before me, and her last words, "We shall see if my power is gone for ever," rung in my ears; her clenched hand was apparently close to my face, and then my resolution remained fixed. The swelling of my features had now subsided, and I had in some degree recovered my good looks; still my eye and cheeks were tinged black and yellow in various places, and the cuts on my head not quite healed. However, I was satisfied that the surgeon of the regiment was correct in his a.s.sertion that I should not be the least disfigured by the treatment which I had received.
"I have news for you," said Madame d"Albret, as she returned from the barracks, where she had been to see her sister off on her journey.
"Your brother, Auguste, who you know has been away, has returned to rejoin his regiment, but has since obtained his rank in another, which is stationed at Brest."
"Why has he done so, madame? do you know? have you seen him?"
"Yes; he was at the colonel"s; he stated that he could not remain in the regiment if his mother continued with his father; that he should never be able after what had happened to treat his mother with common courtesy, still less with the duty of a son, and therefore he preferred leaving the regiment."
"And my father, madame?"
"Your father allows him to act as he pleases; indeed, he feels the force of what your brother says, and so does my brother-in-law, who has given his a.s.sent, as commanding officer, to your brother"s exchange. Auguste laments you very much, and the poor fellow looks very ill. I think he has done right, although it is a severe blow to your mother; but for her I have no compa.s.sion."
"My mother never liked Auguste, madame."
"No, I believe that; but what annoys her is the cause of his leaving his regiment, as it is open condemnation of her conduct."
"Yes, I can understand that feeling on her part," replied I.
"Well, Valerie, I did not return until the regiment was gone and the barracks cleared. You know the commandant always goes the last. I saw my sister safe off, and now I am here to tell you that you are no longer a prisoner, but may make yourself comfortable by roving through my apartments. But the first affair which we must take in hand is your wardrobe. I am rich enough to furnish you, so that shall be seen to immediately. And, Valerie dear, let me now say once for all, what I do not intend to repeat in words, but I hope to prove by my actions. Look upon me as your mother, for I have not taken you away from your family without the resolution of supplying, as far as I can, not the mother you have lost, but the mother which in your dreams you have fancied. I love you, my child, for you are deserving of love. Treat me, therefore, with that unlimited confidence and affection which your young and pure heart yearns to pour out."
"Bless you, madame, bless you," cried I, bursting into tears, and burying my face in her lap; "I feel that now I have a mother."
CHAPTER FIVE.
For several days I remained quiet in the little ante-chamber, during which Madame d"Albret had been busy every morning driving in her carriage, and ordering me a wardrobe; and as the various articles came in, I was as much surprised as I was pleased at the taste which had been shown, and the expense which must have been incurred.
"My dear madame," cried I, as each parcel was opened, "these are much too good for me; recollect I am but a poor soldier"s daughter."
"You were so," replied Madame d"Albret; "but you forget," continued she, kissing my forehead, "that the poor soldier"s daughter was drowned in the Seine, and you are now the _protegee_ of Madame d"Albret. I have already mentioned to all my friends that I expect a young cousin from Gascony, whom I have adopted, having no children of my own. Your own name is n.o.ble, and you may safely retain it, as there are no want of Chatenoeufs in Gascony, and there have been former alliances between them and the d"Albrets. I have no doubt that if I were to refer back to family records, that I could prove you to be a cousin, some three hundred times removed, and that is quite enough. As soon as you are quite well, and I think in a week all vestiges of your ill-treatment will be effaced, we will go down to my chateau for a few months, and we will return to Paris in the season. Has Madame Paon been here?"
"Yes, my dear madame, she has, and has taken my measure for the dresses; but don"t scold me. I must cry a little, for I am so happy and so grateful. My heart will burst if I do not. Bless you, bless you, dear madame; little did I think before I saw you, that I should ever cry for joy."
Madame d"Albret embraced me with much affection, and allowed me to give vent to my feelings, which I did, bedewing her hands with my tears. A week afterwards, everything was ready, and we set off for the chateau in Brittany, travelling in Madame d"Albret"s post-chariot with an _avant courier_, and without regard to expense.
And now I must make the reader somewhat better acquainted with my kind protectress. I little thought at the time that she offered me her protection, that she was a personage of such consequence, but the fact was, that her sister having made a very inferior match to her own, she, out of delicacy, while the Colonel and his wife were at Paris, avoided anything like state in paying them a visit, and I supposed that she was much in the same rank and society as they were; but such was not the case.
Madame d"Albret had married into one of the highest and most n.o.ble families of France. Her husband had died three years after their marriage, and having no children, had left her a large revenue entirely at her own disposal during her life, and wishing her to marry again, had the property entailed upon her children if she had any, if not, after her death, it was to go to a distant brand of the d"Albret family. I was informed that her income amounted to 60,000 livres per annum, besides her chateau in the country, and the hotel in the Rue St Honore, which belonged to her, although she only occupied a portion of it. Her husband had now been dead more than ten years, and Madame d"Albret had not been persuaded by her numerous suitors to marry again. She was still handsome, about thirty-four years of age, and I hardly need say, was in the very best society in Paris. Such was the person who came to the barracks in so una.s.suming a manner, and whose protection I was so fortunate as to obtain.
I could dwell long upon the happy days that I pa.s.sed at the chateau.
There was no want of society, and the _reunions_ were charming; and being in the country, I was allowed to join them, having been formally introduced by Madame d"Albret to all her visitors, as her cousin. My time was fully occupied. Madame d"Albret, perceiving that I had great talent for music and a fine voice, had procured me good masters, and wishing to prove my grat.i.tude by attention, I was indefatigable, and made so rapid a progress, that my masters were surprised. Music and embroidery, at which I had before mentioned I was very expert, were my only occupations--and on the latter my talents were exerted to please Madame d"Albret, by offering her each piece as they were successively taken from the frame. So far from wishing to return to Paris, I was unhappy at the idea of leaving the chateau. Indeed, if the reader will recall what I have narrated of my former life, he will at once perceive that I could but be in a state of perfect happiness.
Until I was received by Madame d"Albret, I had lived a life of persecution, and had not known kindness. Fear was the pa.s.sion which had been acted upon, and which, I may say, had crushed both mind and body: now all was kindness and love. Praise, which I had never before received, was now lavished upon me, and I felt my energies and talents roused, and developing themselves in a way that astonished myself. I had not known what I was, or what I was capable of. I had had no confidence in myself, and I had believed myself to be almost as incapable as my mother would have persuaded me, and everybody else.
This sudden change of treatment had a most surprising effect. In the course of a few months I had grown nearly three inches taller, and not only my figure, but my features, had become so improved, that, although not vain, it was impossible for me not to believe what every one said, and what my gla.s.s told me, that I was very handsome, and that I should make a great sensation when I was introduced at Paris. But although I believed this, I felt no desire. I was too happy as I was, and would not have exchanged the kindness of Madame d"Albret for the best husband that France could produce; and when anything was mentioned by ladies who visited Madame d"Albret, to that effect, and they talked about my future establishment, my reply invariably was, "_Je ne veux pas_." I had always expressed my regrets that we should be obliged to go to Paris for the season, and Madame d"Albret, who of course had no wish to part with me so soon, and who felt that I was still young enough to remain for some years single, made me very happy by telling me that she did not intend to stay long in the capital, and that although I should appear at her parties, she did not intend that I should be much at public places.
And so it proved; we went to Paris, and the best masters were procured for me, but I did not go out with Madame d"Albret, except occasionally, in her morning drives, and once or twice to the Opera and theatres. My music occupied the major portion of my time, and having expressed a wish to learn English, I had a good master; but I had another resource from an intimacy having arisen between me and Madame Paon, whom, I believe, I have before mentioned as the first milliner in Paris.
This intimacy was brought about in the following manner. Being very clever with my needle, and having a great taste for dress, I used to amuse myself at the chateau with inventing something new, not for myself, but for Madame d"Albret, and very often surprised and pleased her by making alterations or additions to her dresses, which were always admired, and declared to be in the best taste. On our arrival at Paris, Madame Paon was visited of course, that the new fashions might be ascertained, and she immediately remarked and admired my little inventions. I was therefore consulted whenever a new dress was to be made for Madame d"Albret, and as Madame Paon was a very lady-like and superior person, of a decayed, but good family, we soon became very intimate. We had been at Paris about two months, when one morning Madame Paon observed to Madame d"Albret, that as I was learning English it would not be a bad plan if Madame d"Albret was to drop me at her establishment when she took her morning airing, as she had two highly respectable English _modistes_ in her employ, who she found were necessary for her English customers, and that I should learn more English by an hour"s conversation with them than a master could supply.
Madame d"Albret agreed with her, I was pleased at the idea, and consequently three or four mornings in the week were pa.s.sed at Madame Paon"s.
But the reader must be introduced to the establishment of Madame Paon, or he may imagine that it was too condescending for a young lady in my position to visit at a milliner"s. Madame Paon was the first milliner at Paris, and as is generally the case, was on the most intimate terms with all the ladies. She made for the court, and, indeed, for every lady to whom she could dedicate her time, as it was almost a favour to be permitted to be one of her customers. Her establishment was in the Rue St Honore, I forget the name of the hotel, but it was one of the largest.
The suite of apartments were magnificent. You pa.s.sed from one room to another, each displaying every variety of rich and graceful costume. In every room were demoiselles well-dressed to attend to the customers, and everything bespoke a degree of taste and elegance quite unparalleled.
At last you arrived at the reception-room of madame, which was s.p.a.cious and most superbly furnished. There were no men in the establishment except in one room, called the Comptoir, in which were six clerks at their desks. When I add that Madame Paon was elegant in her manners, and handsome in her person, very tall and majestic, that she was rich, kept several servants, a handsome carriage, and had a _maison de campagne_, to which she retired every Sat.u.r.day afternoon, the reader may acknowledge that she was a person whom Madame d"Albret might permit me to visit.
This intimacy soon became very great. There was a certain degree of _eclat_ at my being so constantly in the house, and, moreover, as I had a decided taste for dress, I often brought forward some new invention which was not only approved of, but a source of profit to Madame Paon.
Everything was submitted to my judgment as Madame Paon more than once observed, "What a first-rate _modiste_ you would make, mademoiselle; but, unfortunately for the fashions, there is no chance of your being so employed."
At last the Paris season was nearly over, and truly glad was I when Madame d"Albret mentioned the day of our departure. I had very much improved in my music and my English during our residence at Paris. I had not been out except to small parties, and had no wish whatever to go out at all. I was satisfied with Madame d"Albret"s company, and had no wish to leave her. I may say that I was truly happy, and my countenance was radiant, and proved that I was so. My thoughts would occasionally revert to my father and my brother Auguste, and make me melancholy for the time, but I felt that all was for the best, and I built castles, in which I imagined my suddenly breaking in upon them, throwing myself in my father"s arms, and requesting him to share the wealth and luxury with which I fancied myself to be endowed.
I was now nearly eighteen years old. I had been one year under the protection of Madame d"Albret, and the old dowagers who visited us at the chateau were incessantly pointing out to Madame d"Albret that it was time to look out for an establishment for me. Madame d"Albret was, to a certain degree, of their opinion, but she did not wish to part with me, and I was resolute in my determination not to leave her. I had no wish to be married; I had reflected much upon the subject; the few married lives I had witnessed were not to my taste. I had seen my kind-hearted amiable grandmother thwarted by a penurious husband; I had witnessed my father under the control of a revengeful woman; and when I beheld, as I did every day, the peace and happiness in the establishment of Madame d"Albret as a single woman, I felt certain that marriage was a lottery in which there were thousands of blanks to one prize. When, therefore, any of Madame d"Albret"s acquaintances brought up the subject, when they left the room I earnestly implored Madame d"Albret not to be influenced by their remarks, as I had made up my mind to remain single, and that all I asked was to remain with her and prove my grat.i.tude.
"I believe you, Valerie," replied Madame d"Albret, "but I should not be doing my duty if I permitted you to act upon your own feelings. A girl like you was not intended by Heaven to pine away in celibacy, but to adorn the station in life in which she is placed. At the same time, I will not press the matter, but if an advantageous offer were to be made, I shall then consider it my duty to exert my influence with you to make you change your mind, but, at the same time, I will never use anything more than persuasion. I am too happy with you as a companion to wish to part with you, but, at the same time, I should be very selfish if I did not give you up when your own interest told me that such was my duty."
"Well, madame, I thank Heaven that I have no fortune, and that will, I trust, be a bar to any proposals from the interested gentleman of the present day."
"That may not save you, Valerie," replied Madame d"Albret, laughing, "gentlemen may be satisfied with expectancies; nay, it is possible that one may be found who may be satisfied with your own pretty self, and ask no more."
"I rather think not, madame," replied I. "You have too good an opinion of me, and must not expect others to view me with your partial eyes; all I can say is, that if such a gentleman could be found, his disinterestedness would make me think more highly of him than I do of the s.e.x at present, although not sufficiently well to wish me to change my present condition."
"Well, well, we shall see," replied Madame d"Albret, "the carriage is at the door, so bring me my bonnet and cashmere."
A few weeks after our return to the chateau, a Monsieur de G--, of an old family in Brittany, who had been for the last two years in England, returned to his father"s house, and called upon Madame d"Albret. She had known him from childhood, and received him most cordially. I must describe him fully, as he played no small part in my little drama. He was, I should think, nearly thirty years of age, small in person but elegantly made, with a very handsome but rather effeminate face. His address and manners were perfect. He was very witty, and apparently very amiable. His deportment towards our s.e.x was certainly most fascinating--so tender and so respectful. I certainly never had before seen so polished a man. He sang well, and played upon several instruments; drew, caricatured--indeed, he did everything well that he attempted to do; I hardly need say that with such qualifications, and being so old a friend, that he was gladly welcomed by Madame d"Albret, and became a daily visitor at the chateau. I was soon intimate with him and partial to his company, but nothing more; indeed, his attentions to Madame d"Albret were quite as great as to me, and there was nothing to permit any one to suppose that he was paying his court either to her or to me. Madame d"Albret thought otherwise, because we sang together, and because he talked to me in English, and she as well as others rallied me in consequence.
After two months had pa.s.sed away, Monsieur de G--was supposed to be paying his attentions more particularly to me, and I thought so myself; Madame d"Albret certainly did, and gave him every opportunity. He was the heir to a large property, and did not require money with his wife.