"I still want to know how youjust happened to come across this website."
"All right. I admit it: I"ve been suckered into the age of technology at last. I have my own website. And a very helpful young man contacted me just to see whether I really meant the things I said on it or if I was just a frustrated idealist. I figured that description fit you."
"You-a website? I don"t believe-"
Damon ignored him. "I pa.s.sed the message along because I"d already heard of the place, theShi no Shi ."
"TheDeath of Death , it said."
"That"s how it was translated to me." Damon turned a thousand-kilowatt smile on Stefan, boring into him, until finally Stefan turned away, feeling as if he"d been exposed to the sun without his lapis ring.
"As a matter of fact," Damon went on chattily, "I"ve invited the fellow himself to come and to explain it to you."
"You didwhich ?"
"He should be here at 4:44 exactly. Don"t blame me for the timing; it"s something special to him."
And then with very little fuss, and certainly no Power at all that Stefan could discern, something landed in the tree above them and dropped down to their branch, changing as it did.
It was, indeed, a young man, with fire-tipped black hair and serene golden eyes. As Stefan swung toward him, he held up both hands in a gesture of helplessness and surrender.
"Who the h.e.l.l are you?"
"I"m the h.e.l.l Shinichi," the young man said easily. "But, as I told your brother, most people call me just Shinichi. Of course, it"s up to you."
"And you know all about the Shi no Shi." "n.o.body knows all about it. It"s a place-and an organization. I"m a little partial to it because"-Shinichi looked shy-"well, I guess I just like to help people."
"And now you want to help me."
"If you truly want to become human...I know a way."
"I"ll just leave the two of you to talk about it, shall I?" said Damon. "Three"s a crowd, especially on this branch."
Stefan looked at him sharply. "If you have any slightest thought of stopping by the boardinghouse..."
"With Damaris already waiting for me? Honestly, little brother." And Damon changed to crow form before Stefan could ask him to give his sworn word.
Elena turned over in bed, reaching automatically for a warm body next to her. What her fingers found, however, was a cool, Stefan- shaped hollow. Her eyes opened. "Stefan?"
The darling. They were so in tune that it was like being one person-he always knew when she was about to wake up. He"d probably gone down to get her breakfast-Mrs. Flowers always had it steaming hot for him when he went down (further proof that she was a witch of the white variety)-and Stefan brought up the tray.
"Elena," she said, testing her old-new voice just to hear herself talk. "Elena Gilbert, girl, you have had too many breakfasts in bed."
She patted her stomach. Yes, definitely in need of exercise.
"All right, then," she said, still aloud. "Start with limbering up and breathing. Then some mild stretching." All of which, she thought, could be put aside when Stefan showed up.
But Stefan didn"t show up, even when she lay exhausted from a full hour"s routine.
And he wasn"t coming up the stairs, bringing up a cup of tea, either.
Where was he?
Elena looked out their one-view window and caught a glimpse of Mrs. Flowers below.
Elena"s heart had begun beating hard during her aerobic exercise and had never really slowed down properly. Though it was likely impossible to start a conversation with Mrs. Flowers this way she shouted down, "Mrs. Flowers?"
And, wonder of wonders, the lady stopped pinning a sheet on the clothesline and looked up. "Yes, Elena dear?"
"Where"s Stefan?"
The sheet billowed around Mrs. Flowers and made her disappear. When the billow straightened out, she was gone.
But Elena had her eyes on the laundry basket. It was still there. She shouted, "Don"t go away!" and hastened to put on jeans and her new blue top. Then, hopping down the stairs as she b.u.t.toned, she burst out into the back garden.
"Mrs. Flowers!"
"Yes, Elena dear?"
Elena could just see her between billowing yards of white fabric. "Have you seen Stefan?" "Not this morning, dear."
"Not atall ?"
"I get up with the dawn, regular. His car was gone then, and it hasn"t come back."
Now Elena"s heart was pounding in good earnest. She"d always been afraid of something like this. She took one deep breath and ran back up the staircase without pausing.
Note, note...
He"d never leave her without a note. And there was no note on his pillow. Then she thought ofher pillow.
Her hands scrabbled frantically under it, and then under his pillow. At first she didn"t turn the pillows over, because she wanted so badly for the note to be there-and because she was so afraid of what it might say.
At last, when it was clear that there was nothing under those pillows but the bed sheet, she flipped them and stared at the empty white blankness for a long time. Then she pulled the bed away from the wall, in case the note had fallen down behind it.
Somehow she felt that if she just kept looking, she must find it. In the end she"d shaken out all the bedding and ended up staring at the white sheets again, accusingly, ever so often running her hands over them.
And that ought to be good, because it meant Stefan hadn"tgone somewhere-except that she"d left the closet door open and she could see, without even meaning to, a bunch of empty hangers.
He"d taken all his clothes.
And emptiness on the bottom of the closet.
He"d taken every pair of shoes.
Not that he had ever owned much. But everything that he needed to make a trip away was gone-and he was gone.
Why? Where? Howcould he?
Even if it turned out that he"d left in order to scout them out a new place to live, howcould he? He"d get the fight of his life when he came back- -if he came back.
Chilled to the bone, aware that tears were running unmeant and almost unnoticed down her cheeks, she was about to call up Meredith and Bonnie when she thought of something.
Her diary.
17.
In the first days after she"d come back from the afterlife, Stefan had always put her to bed early, made sure she was warm, and then allowed her to work on his computer with her, writing a diary of sorts, with her thoughts on what had happened that day, always adding his impressions.
Now she called up the file desperately, and desperately scrolled to the end.
And there it was.My dearest Elena, I knew you would look here sooner or later. I hope it was sooner.
Darling, I believe that you"re able to take care of yourself now, and I"ve never seen a stronger or more independent girl.
And that means it"s time. Time for me to go. I can"t stay any longer without turning you into a vampire again-something we both know can"t happen.
Please forgive me. Please forget me. Oh, love, I don"t want to go, but I have to.
If you need help, I"ve gotten Damon to give his word to protect you. He would never hurt you, and whatever mischief is going on in Fell"s Church won"t dare touch you with him around.
My darling, my angel, I"ll always love you....
Stefan P.S. To help you go on with your real life, I"ve left money to pay Mrs. Flowers for the room for the next year. Also, I"ve left you $20,000 in hundred-dollar bills under the second floorboard from the wall, across from the bed. Use it to build a new future, with whomever you choose.
Again, if you need anything, Damon will help you. Trust his judgement if you"re in need of advice. Oh, lovely little love, how can I go? Even for your own sake?
Elena finished the letter.
And then she just sat there.
After all her hunting, she"d found the answer.
And she didn"t know what to do now but scream.
If you need help go to Damon.... Trust Damon"s judgment....It couldn"t be a more blatant ad for Damon if Damon had written it himself.
And Stefan was gone. And his clothes were gone. And his boots were gone.
He"d left her.
Make a new life....
And that was how Bonnie and Meredith found her, alarmed by an hour-long bounce-back of their telephone calls. It was the first time they hadn"t been able to get through to Stefan since he"d arrived, at their request, to slay a monster. But that monster was now dead, and Elena...
Elena was sitting in front of Stefan"s closet.
"He even took his shoes," she said emotionlessly, softly. "He took everything. But he paid for the room for a year. And yesterday morning he bought me a Jaguar."
"Elena-"
"Don"t you see?" Elena cried. "Thisis my Awakening. Bonnie predicted that it would be sharp and sudden and that I would need both of you. And Matt?"
"He wasn"t mentioned by name," Bonnie said gloomily.
"But I think we"ll need his help," Meredith said grimly.
"When Stefan and I were first together-beforeI became a vampire-I always knew," Elena whispered, "that there would come a time when he would try to leave me for my own good." Suddenly she hit the floor with her fist, hard enough to hurt herself. "I knew, but I thought I would be there to talk him out of it! He"s so n.o.ble-so self-sacrificing! And now-he"sgone ."
"You really don"t care," Meredith said quietly, watching her, "whether you stay human or become a vampire."
"You"re right-Idon"t care! I don"t care about anything, as long as I can be with him. When I was still half a spirit, I knew that nothing could Change me. Now I"m human and as susceptible as any other human to the Change-but it doesn"t matter."
"Maybe that"s the Awakening," Meredith said, still quietly.
"Oh, maybe him not bringing her breakfast is an awakening!" Bonnie, said, exasperated. She"d been staring into a flame for more than thirty minutes, trying to get psychically in touch with Stefan. "Either he won"t-or he can"t," she said, not seeing Meredith"s violently shaking head until after the words were out.
"What do you mean "can"t"?" Elena demanded, popping back off the floor from where she was slumped.
"I don"t know! Elena, you"re hurting me!"
"Is he in danger? Think, Bonnie! Is he going to be hurt because of me?"
Bonnie looked at Meredith, who was telegraphing "no" with every inch of her elegant body. Then she looked at Elena, who was demanding the truth. She shut her eyes. "I"m not sure," she said.
She opened her eyes slowly, waiting for Elena to explode. But Elena did nothing of the kind. She merely shut her own eyes slowly, her lips hardening.
"A long time ago, I swore I"d have him, even if it killed us both," she said quietly. "If he thinks he can just walk away from me, for my own good or for any other reason...he"s wrong. I"ll go to Damon first, since Stefan seems to want it so much. And then I"m going after him. Someone will give me a direction to start in. He left me twenty thousand dollars. I"ll use that to follow him. And if the car breaks down, I"ll walk; and when I can"t walk anymore, I"ll crawl. But Iwill find him."
"Not alone, you won"t," Meredith said, in her soft, rea.s.suring way. "We"re with you, Elena."
"And then, if he"s done this of his own free will, he"s going to get the b.i.t.c.h-slapping of hislife ."
"Whatever you want, Elena," Meredith said, still soothingly. "Let"s just find him first."
"All for one and one for all!" Bonnie exclaimed. "We"ll get him back and we"ll make him sorry-or we won"t," she added hastily as Meredith again began shaking her head. "Elena, don"t! Don"t cry," she added, the instant before Elena burst into tears.
"So Damon was the one to say he"d take care of Elena, and Damon should have been the one last to see Stefan this morning," Matt said, when he had been fetched from his house and the situation was explained to him.