Was he supposed to go back down and get the book right away, or go to the Himalayas with something he couldn"t even name within him... with the family and Damali unprotected and near him? To his foggy mind, the answer was clear. Get the book first.
He heard a small squeaking sound coming from the mirror. He stared at it intently as it began to scrawl a message in the condensation on the gla.s.s. It was written in reverse, and he squinted at it, trying to decipher it. Renewed terror threaded through his soul and spread like an inferno. It read very simply, Get the book.
Krissy glanced up from her laptop and over to Dan as he sat at the dining room table playing cards with her dad and a few of the male Guardians. She smiled as he studied his hand and rubbed his jaw, considering his next move. Rider was always a hoot and provided comic relief. Their card game antics made her laugh, and she liked seeing Dan happy instead of tense and scowling at J.L.
Truthfully, Dan was a really nice guy. Had big blue eyes, a sweet heart, was smart, cute in a wiry sort of way... considerate, listened, was a decent fighter, and was crazy about her. The only problem was that after one kiss she knew he"d only be a brother to her. But the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him.
He was family, he was Bobby"s best friend, plus her mother adored him. Her dad, well, that was another story. Richard Berkfield didn"t trust any guy around her and never had. But he was at least reasonable toward Dan, unlike the way he practically snarled when J.L. sat too close to her. Maybe being a cop for all those years gave her dad special insight. Perhaps he felt the chemistry that was hard to ignore and that they"d attempted to keep secret. Just her luck to have a detective for a father.
She glanced away and sighed, studying her laptop as though its keys might provide answers like a Ouija board. However, she could feel J.L."s intensity from where he sat in the adjacent chair by the window. No, she would not look up at him. Couldn"t.
His quiet need reached out to her across the room. It always did. That"s how things always got started. She squeezed her knees together and briefly shut her eyes. It had started.
Unable to help herself, she glanced up and her gaze was trapped by the silent smolder in his eyes. Those searching, intense brown eyes were impossible to ignore. She loved what the sun did to his skin as it washed him in afternoon gold. She loved the feel of his hair, black silk, and patient hands... haiku fire. She loved his agile, toned body, and the way he moved like a cat... a being without bones, so fluid, graceful... just like he was on the computers, a mastermind, subtle, wise, a man of few words, though those he spoke were profound. And his mind had been the thing that had stolen her heart. He"d taught her so much. He had been the first guy that really heard her, knew what she was talking about, and didn"t think she was an airhead or a geek or weird. He believed in her-her. She loved him. That"s what she couldn"t ignore. That"s what her father didn"t understand.
Their code was also subtle, codesigned without words. J.L. closed his laptop, asked if anyone wanted a beer, and left the room.
She waited until he came back, handed out brews, and then she mouthed hollow plat.i.tudes about finding the rest of the girls. She went out the back door; he went out the front door.
Her heart raced faster than her legs as she dashed across the wide backyard toward the toolshed, slipped inside, and gently closed the door behind her and waited. The wait for him to wind an oblique path to meet her was the worst. She never knew if he would make it or get waylaid by one of the other Guardians or what.
Krissy peered through the open shed slats, then leaned against the wall and shut her eyes, trying to slow her breathing.
Impossible. Sunlight created splintered beams along the dirt floor and dust motes glistened. She impatiently peeked out once again, then watched pollen and dust particles dance in the air like sunlit fairy flecks that had been stirred from her quick entry. If he would just come to the shed...
When she heard footfalls, she held her breath. Her face felt hot. Perspiration made her white cotton shirt cling to her skin. Would this time be like all the others-his kiss and touch interrupted by someone approaching? What if this time he said it was wrong, or that they should wait until her birthday, when she turned eighteen in a few weeks? What if it wasn"t him?
She whirred around and pressed her face to the wall slats again, and then let her breath out in relief when she saw J.L. glance over his shoulder and reach for the door. She moved toward him the moment he closed it behind him, but he put his finger to his lips and glanced around the toolshed barn, as though being hunted. She froze, listened hard, but couldn"t take her eyes off him.
Her gaze became a slow glide down his handsome, symmetrical features; it stopped at his mouth, then continued to his Adam"s apple; took in his shoulders and the way his T-shirt clung to him with a thin sheen of sweat; then slid down to his narrow, tight waist, to his jeans.
"Kris, I can"t do this anymore," he whispered, and then closed his eyes.
Hurt initially stunned her, but the expression on his face told her that she"d misinterpreted what he"d meant.
"Why not?" she whispered, already knowing the answer. Each time had become more intense, closer to the inevitable, harder to stop. Their secret shed visits had become more frequent with less time between each stolen moment, and they were both going crazy from it all.
J.L. opened his eyes. The way he stared at her made her feel like her legs would give out from under her. He offered her a lopsided smile as his gaze went toward a dried-out hay bale, then over to a row of rusted tools on the wall, settling on an ax.
"Because there"s about fifty things in here for your dad to kill me with."
She smiled. "He"s playing cards."
"The man isn"t stupid, and he"s armed and extremely dangerous. A cop, remember."
"Ex-cop," she countered, going to J.L. and filling his arms.
"Worse. That means he"s not worried about losing his job." J.L. laughed wryly and kissed her forehead."I don"t care," she murmured as he nuzzled her neck and her hands splayed across his muscular, toned back.
"I care," he breathed out hard against her hair.
"I know you do... That"s why I love you."
"I gotta at least wait till you"re legal."
"No you don"t," she whispered in a rush against his ear. "I want to."
His grip tightened around her back as his mouth found hers, palms stroking more desire into her shoulders as they slid against her damp shirt then found her arms. A soft whimper entered his mouth and he swallowed it, her body producing friction against his.
She thought she would faint when his fingers sought her hair, not the ache of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s... She"d purposely not worn a bra just for him, and he didn"t seem to notice.
This time had to be different. They could all die any day. She refused to die never fully knowing him. His featherlight touches during stolen moments had made her crazy. Having nowhere to ever really be alone had made her bold. Sleeping in an overcrowded room with no privacy to bask in the sweet aftermath of a secret interlude, ever, made her tug at his T-shirt and deepen their kiss. Working side by side with him every day, all day and half the night, learning his ways, his laugh, his humor, his moods, his deepest feelings, down to his very scent made her throw caution to the wind.
Her touch ran down his back, covered his backside, and then traced his hips until she gained the courage to slide them between their bodies. The low sound he made filled her mouth and caused her to tear away from the burning kiss to gasp.
He shook his head, and spoke in halting, pained bursts. "Just a few more weeks. I love you, Kris, but I won"t make it till then if-"
She kissed away his words and began frantically working on his belt. Her shirt yanked up, and his hot face pressed against her b.r.e.a.s.t.s with a groan, making her cry out. The long-awaited sensation caused tears to spill as she staggered backward, blind, eyes closed, kissing him harder, trusting, knowing he was walking her toward the p.r.i.c.kly hay bale and she didn"t care.
In one martial arts pivot, he was under her, moving in a fluid tide, stripping away her shirt and taking the full punishment of the hay to save her skin.
When Damali pulled up to the front of the family house, Dan was standing on the steps with a duffel bag in hand. He smiled broadly, the sun catching in his blond hair and making his boyish face seem even younger.
"Marlene had a hunch you might be needing these," he said with a smirk, holding out a bag of Carlos"s clothes to Damali. Damali chuckled. "I see Marlene hasn"t lost her edge."
"Not at all," Dan said, coming down the steps to hug Damali. "You okay, lady?"
"Yeah, I"m fine, just a little weary."
He looked at her, worried. "How"s our brother?"
"He"s cool," Damali said. "Just been through a lot of changes, but he"ll be all right."
Dan nodded and glanced back at the screen as Jose appeared within it.
"You cool, D?" Jose said, coming out onto the porch quickly and keeping his gaze fastened to Damali"s.
"Yeah. Like I told Dan, everything"s gonna be all right."But it wasn"t all right. She could feel tension crackling all around her. She stepped over the doorsill and the hair on the back of her neck rose.
Everyone was packed. Suitcases and duffel bags waited by the door. Shabazz was at the table playing cards with Berkfield, Bobby, and Rider. Everything seemed normal, but wasn"t. She could feel Jose and Dan stop for a moment behind her, fidget, and then slide into their seats.
"Morning, y"all," she said in a sarcastic tone, addressing their cool reception with testy humor. "Where"s Mar?"
Shabazz slammed down a card hard. "Went to meditate in the woods, again, before we leave this afternoon. Where else?"
Damali chewed her bottom lip and forced her voice to become upbeat. "Cool," she said casually. "Marj around?"
"At the store," Berkfield muttered. "Shopping till she drops, since we"re changing locations again. Like we need anything else. If we coulda gotten a morning flight out, then she wouldn"t be running around like a madwoman." He looked up with a frown.
"Marlene said a lot of flights have been canceling lately," Rider muttered, studying his fan of cards. "All transportation is screwed because people aren"t showing up to their jobs. Drama is breaking out everywhere. In my mind, the sooner we can get this show on the road, the better, "cause the s.h.i.t is obviously spreading faster than we"d imagined."
"I can"t wait to get out of here," Bobby said, throwing down his hand of cards. "Everything"s making me jumpy."
Damali nodded and hoisted the duffel bag up higher. "Guess "Nez is out and about "with Mike?" She glanced around, quietly trying to sense for Juanita without asking her whereabouts.
"Mike does the heavy lifting, both the ladies are buying what we need for the road," Shabazz said, glaring up from his hand.
"Least that"s the story we got."
Static charge was practically lifting Shabazz"s locks off his shoulders. Damali nodded again, trying not to be drawn into the att.i.tudes and vibes that permeated the house. "Cool. All right. Well, maybe I"ll catch up with Krissy just to be sure we have all..." Her voice trailed off as Berkfield"s head snapped up at the same time Shabazz"s and Dan"s did.
Rider was on his feet with Bobby in seconds, one blocking Dan the other Berkfield.
"Where"s my daughter?" Berkfield said, looking at Rider hard.
"Relax, dude," Rider said as calmly as possible. "Let"s me, you, and old Shabazz here take a fatherly walk."
"f.u.c.k that," Dan shouted before Berkfield could challenge Rider"s reply, making the room go still. "Where"s J.L.?"
Jose stood slowly, mirroring Shabazz"s moves in a patient dance-and then grabbed Dan as he was about to bolt. Damali dropped the duffel bag and looked at her teammates.
"Yo, yo, yo, what"s up with all this, guys?" Damali held her hands up. "We"re out of here in-"
"Damali, get "em off of me or I swear I"ll-"
"Let him go," Damali said quickly, going to Dan, watching hot tears rise in his eyes as his face flushed. "Baby-"
"I knew it!" Dan shouted, looking at Bobby and then Jose. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, and sniffed back tears of frustration as he sputtered his complaint. "You were supposed to have my back, man! You know good and d.a.m.ned well where she is!"
"Then some-f.u.c.king-body tell me," Berkfield said, shrugging Rider"s grip off his shoulder. "Wanna enlighten her G.o.dd.a.m.ned father? Huh! Somebody?"
Shabazz shook his head and began walking. "Berkfield, me and you, we take a walk, we talk, and we let cool heads prevail...
Aw"right? Been there. Very recently."
Berkfield nodded grudgingly and began to walk. "I need some answers."
"It"s best this way," Shabazz said quietly, putting his arm over Berkfield"s shoulder. "Better on the team than... She"s young, could get jacked in a-"
Before the other brothers or Damali could react, Dan had cleared the table and was going in the direction of the kitchen, headed for the back door. Instinct kicked in, and every man in the house was on Damali"s heels as she tried to catch up with Dan, who was making a mad dash for the shed.
"Daniel!" She screamed, closing the gap across the big backyard, her legs pumping as her stride ate up ground. "Don"t do it, Dan! Don"t go in there! J.L.!" Mental prayers came out in fits of breath. Oh, Lord, oh Lord, not on this team, not another one, not today, not this kid! Get dressed y"all. s.h.i.t!
A shotgun blast made her look over her shoulder and lose ten feet of gain. She saw it in slow motion, skidded to grasp the back of Dan"s T-shirt that ripped under her hold. J.L. had stumbled out of the shed, tucking his shirttails into his pants, breathing hard.
Berkfield was beet red in the face, lowering a sawed-off and being tackled to the ground. Krissy was crying and trying to get her blouse untwisted. Jose body-blocked Krissy from her father"s scrutiny while she righted her clothes. Bobby slowed down, conflicted, caught in the withered gra.s.s between his father, his sister, and his two best friends. Rider and Shabazz were trying to extricate a weapon from a father who was foaming at the mouth. Dan was about to get his a.s.s kicked by a martial arts pro.
"Stop!" Damali"s heart was beating a bruise into her chest.
Nothing Neteru was working. Her legs were lead, time wasn"t stopping, the team had snapped its fragile hold on reality. Where was f.u.c.king Juanita when another pair of female hands was needed! Damali flung down the ripped fabric, screaming "No!" as Dan hurdled headlong into J.L."s abdomen and was summarily flipped to land with a thud on his back.
Dan was up in seconds, pure rage blazing in his bloodshot blue eyes. Tears and dirt had created mud on his face. J.L. almost snarled as murder flit through his normally kind brown eyes. Krissy was sobbing and looking at her father as Rider finally got the gun out of his clenched fist.
"I"ll kill him!" Berkfield shouted. "In the family house, with me here, I will ma.s.sacre him! Let me up, G.o.ddammit, now!"
Damali dashed between the two warring brothers, her posture centered low, knees bent, as she hopped in a circle to follow their moves. She eye-spotted Jose and Bobby for a.s.sistance. She didn"t want anybody hurt, and that was likely if they collided again.
"Everybody chill. One family. One-"
"No!" Dan spat, "f.u.c.k it. No such thing! She lied to me!"
Damali"s attention swung between both younger Guardians as Krissy cried harder. Not sure what to do, she tried to keep them talking. Dan had totally surprised her. The newbie was faster, stronger, and had more heart than she"d given him credit for, and to see him out there all jacked around was breaking her heart.
She glanced at Krissy"s disheveled condition and then at J.L."s. Oh, s.h.i.t. This man was definitely working before Dan"s red alert, and the girl"s father was in it now? J.L. was not about to calm down. All right, new plan. She gave Jose the subtle nod and he was on Dan in seconds with Bobby helping to pin him to the exterior shed wall.
"Dan, listen for two seconds. Okay?" She pivoted her attention to J.L. who looked like he was about to break Dan"s neck. "J.L., you can kill him if you two mix it up. He"s no black belt, brother. You have got to calm down!""I will kill this motherf.u.c.ker where he stands now, D-let him go! He"s been getting on my nerves since Philly, aw"right!" J.L.
spat and rolled his shoulders. "This is bulls.h.i.t!"
Guttural roars and a daughter"s repeated name amid curses were coming from Berkfield twenty feet away as he wrestled on the dusty ground with Rider and Shabazz and tried to get to J.L.
"There"s nothing to listen to, D," Dan hollered, new tears filling his eyes as his focus went to Krissy. "Tell him!"
"You need to stop playing games, Kris," Bobby shouted. "I told you to just be honest with my boy! Why"d you put him in a position like this, huh?"
"I was not playing games," she screamed, going to Damali and crying harder. "I changed my mind, all right! Is that what you wanna hear? I never slept with Dan!"
"So the kisses never mattered? Is that what you"re saying? All those nights we talked, and I held you while you cried about being scared didn"t mean s.h.i.t to you, Kris? Is that it?" Veins were standing in Dan"s neck as he hollered, "Answer me!"
Pure shock had loosened Jose and Bobby"s hold on Dan, and in a hurt fury he tore his body away from the rusty aluminum shed exterior to walk in a hot circle, raking his hair with dirty fingers. "I cannot believe you." He made a lunge, but Jose and Bobby had him.
"Aw, Lawd, Dan, don"t get into..." Damali sighed as Krissy covered her face and wailed. The girl"s business was all over the yard; her father was about to have a stroke.
"I"ll kill "em both," Berkfield shouted, sending up plumes of dust as he struggled. "Rider, lemme up! Shabazz, get the f.u.c.k off me!
They were both on my baby? Oh, s.h.i.t, where"s Mike"s cannon!"
Damali couldn"t hold Krissy and body block J.L. at the same time. But even with the girl near her, she could feel humiliation rising off Krissy"s skin in a thick, pain-filled emulsion. Dan looked like he"d been slapped-better description, gut-punched, but the young fool"s pride was putting him at risk for getting his a.s.s beat. Stand down, Damali whispered in her mind. Please, Daniel, oh, man...
"Okay, everybody just stop!" Damali finally shouted, so confused and upset she didn"t know what to do. She pointed at Dan.
"She made a choice. How she came to that is between you two. Discuss it later-but one thing is for sure, she shouldn"t have to do it out here like this."
Dan shrugged out of Bobby and Jose"s hold and stormed away in the opposite direction from the house toward Carlos"s unfinished property.
"Do I still need to body-block you, J.L.? You got your head together, man?" Damali asked, hands on hips.
J.L. raked his sweaty hair and grudgingly nodded. He walked in a distracted circle for a moment, and then looked up for the first time at Berkfield. Rage slowly ebbed and awareness set in as Rider kicked the gun farther away while Shabazz held Berkfield down in a shoulder lock. A visible Oh s.h.i.t flickered in J.L."s eyes. Terror replaced awareness as he tried to summon speech.