She was disillusioned in her friend. "I knew you couldn"t trust Jagger," she continued. "But Luna. How could I have been so wrong about her?"
"Well, she was always good to you," I tried to a.s.sure her, standing next to her at her dresser. "It"s just that she"s not so good to others."
"But if she isn"t good to you-then that is wrong."
"I think she feels she"s doing the right thing." I wasn"t sure why I was sticking up for Luna. Maybe it was only to comfort Stormy"s feelings. "Anyway, they were offering me something I wanted," I said, "just with the wrong guy."
Stormy had the life I had dreamed of. A casket sat in the middle of the wall where normally a bed would be. I sat down on the edge of her chaise.
"What do you want?" she asked, sitting next to me.
"To become a vampire."
"You really want to be one?" Her expression brightened.
"Yes," I said. "I always have. But I want to with Alexander."
"You"d change for Alexander?" She was shocked.
"Yes. But that doesn"t mean I wouldn"t want to be with him regardless."
"But you would become a vampire? Willingly?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah. I"ve wanted it all my life."
"Even before you met Alexander?"
"Yes, but I"d only want to be a vampire with him," I said emphatically.
She grabbed my hand. "I didn"t know you wanted to be like us, too."
"Exactly like you. Cool, ont> "Does Alexander know this?"
"Yes. I"ve told him a hundred times."
"Then what is my brother waiting for?"
"He wants it to be the right time. And for the right reason."
"But if that"s want you want-and he does, too-then why is he being so stubborn?"
"He thinks I won"t like it. And that I"ll blame him. He feels too much pressure."
"I guess..."
"But I know I will be happy. In fact, getting to know you has really convinced me how much I"d like it."
"You mean that?"
"Yes. You are the most fabulous girl ever," I said, using her favorite compliment.
"Not as fabulous as you."
"Really?"
"Yes. If I were a mortal, I"d want to be like you."
We smiled at each other, and Stormy blushed a little bit.
"And if I were a vampire-"
"But you can be!" Stormy interrupted.
"I"m not so sure he"s ready." I sighed.
"You must tell him. Now. You must make sure he knows how important it is to you. Then we can be one big happy family."
Just then Alexander entered the room. Stormy and I rose, and I headed over to him. "What"s going on?" he asked, kissing me on the cheek.
"Girl talk," Stormy said.
"Aren"t you supposed to be with Jameson getting tutored?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "Remember what I said," she whispered to me, and winked before she hopped down the stairs.
"I see you two are getting along."
"Yes, we really see eye to eye," I said, beaming.
ht="0em"> A few minutes later, Alexander and I were talking in the gazebo in the backyard of the Mansion.
"I still can"t believe Jagger had you up on the covenant altar," he said, shaking his head. "After all he and I have been through. To do that to you-and me."
"I know."
"I"m just glad we came in when we did-but it seems you were able to handle yourself."
"It was more of an offer-" I said. "But still it was wrong. I had to get out the garlic powder for him to know I was serious, too."
The offer was attractive, and though I didn"t want to become a vampire with Jagger, I was flattered that someone wanted to change me. I knew Alexander did, but Jagger was offering it to me only last night. It was something I couldn"t shake. If Jagger wanted it, thought about it, and tried to make it happen, did that mean Alexander would, too?
"But why would he think that you would do that with him?" he asked.
"He just thinks of himself," I said. "But I also think that somehow he understands me."
"What do you mean by that?" Alexander was taken aback.
"He can see that it"s really what I want. What I"ve always wanted."
"You don"t think I understand you?"
"Of course I do. But I guess he"s more impulsive. Like Sebastian. That"s what makes you so special-your thoughtfulness," I said.
"Well, when it"s time for you to turn," he said rea.s.suringly, "it will be by me."
The stars twinkled through the broken boards in the roof. The night was perfect, and Alexander was giving me the dreamiest kiss I could have imagined receiving.
He slid his fangs down the side of my neck. As usual I was dying for him to take the plunge. When he pulled away, I followed him.
"I know your parents, your best friend, and now your sister," I began. "Unless you are hiding a brother and a dog, I think I"ve met your whole family."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe now"s the time. I see Stormy and how she lives. I want that life for me."
"You want to be isolated and in constant threat of being found out you are a vampiou yore?"
"No. I want the other part. To sleep in a coffin by day and be awake all night. To live by candlelight. To be a part of the Underworld. I have craved these things all my life. I want to share that with you and your family and friends."
"But don"t you already?"
"Luna has Romeo, and Becky has Matt. They are all sharing the same world. But us? We are trapped in our own separate human and vampire lives. Forced to live without being together as much as we could be if we were truly part of the same world."
"I know," he concurred. "I miss out on so much in your life, being stuck alone in my coffin while you"re at school. I should be there eating lunch with you, studying, hanging out."
"That"s how I feel about my life, too. If only I was a vampire, then I wouldn"t be rotting away in school all day when I could be sharing a coffin with you, celebrating the night together, and be bonded together for eternity."
"I know I can never be a normal, mortal student. Maybe it"s for the best, though. I"d be the dumbest guy in school. I wouldn"t get any work done because all day I"d be staring at you."
It was sweet that Alexander wished he could live in my world. But I was dying to join his just as much as he longed for mine. "Well... I"m not sure it is for the best," I said.
"You"re not?"
I faced Alexander straight on and stared into his chocolate eyes. "Even if you can"t be a mortal, why couldn"t I become a vampire?"
Alexander knew better than to answer.
I"d asked him a million times before, but tonight I was determined to know. I pressed further. "Don"t you see? We could be together not only for eternity-but for every day."
When Alexander didn"t respond, I continued. "Think of all that we are missing. Becky sees Matt every day at school and on the weekends." The more I thought about it, the more serious I became.
"I know. It"s hard for me, too."
"It doesn"t have to be anymore. This is something we can do for us. You and me. It doesn"t matter what others will think. You said you didn"t have the covenant ceremony with Luna because you were waiting to find the right someone. I thought I was that someone."
"You are. Don"t ever think you aren"t."
Even Stormy was convinced of that, I thought. All I had to do was to make my vampire boyfriend really understa.n.a.llconvid how important this was for me.
"Then why not turn me?" I asked. I was more forceful than I had ever been with Alexander regarding this issue.
"It is hard for me, too, Raven. Since I first saw you. I told you, I crave you in a way you can"t even imagine."
"Then let me finally fulfill that need."
"But don"t you think you"re too young to make such a life-changing decision? It"s not only a life decision but an eternal one as well."
"Of course I"m not too young. I"m seventeen. I"m almost old enough to vote or join the military. Is there an age minimum on making decisions?"
"But you have to really consider everything. What if you don"t like being a vampire?" he asked as if he was plagued with this concern.
"What"s there not to like?" I asked. I knew he and I had often discussed whether the lifestyle I craved was the lifestyle I"d ultimately be happy with. But I knew I would.
"What if you hate it and then blame me?" he asked.
"Is that what this is about? That I will regret being bitten?"
"No ... and yes. It"s both. You would be giving up everything. It"s so much pressure."
"For you or me?"
"For us both."
"But don"t you see you"ve been the one changing all along? You"ve stayed here in Dullsville when you could have returned home to Romania. You"ve left yourself in isolation without friends or family and only Jameson to keep you company. Now it"s my turn to change."
"But people have different opinions as they grow. You might like vampires now, but what if you don"t like them in the future and you"re stuck being one for eternity?"
"I"ve been the same person since I was born. You know me, and I know myself. I don"t follow trends. Believe me, my life would have been so much easier if I had been willing to do that. I could have been popular, maybe, not the outcast that I am," I said, reflecting. "Who knows? The one thing I know is that ever since I can remember, I"ve wanted to be a vampire. And I still do. And I"ve always wanted to be in love-and when I saw you, I knew that no matter what or who you were, I had to be with you forever. I may be impulsive, but I"m not fickle. I"ll be seventy and still be wearing miniskirts and combat boots and wanting to be a vampire."
Alexander laughed, but I was serious.
he the on "I need to know," I asked, looking him right in the eyes. "Are we on the same path?"
I was as surprised as he was by my forcefulness. But I remembered my and Becky"s conversation about our futures. We"d have to be thinking of college soon and what we wanted to pursue for our futures. Did Alexander want the same things I did? Did he want me to share those things with him?
I was as excited about his impending answer as I was afraid of it. If he wavered or was unsure, how would that make me feel? He"d taken my blood as his own, but would he ultimately go further? Would I be able to really become a vampire, or would we just continue to share our different worlds together?
"I need to know," I said again. Jagger"s offer was flattering but not something I"d really consider since I loved Alexander. And now that Stormy wanted me to be part of the Underworld, I realized the only one who was reticent about my being turned was my one true love.
"What do you mean?"
"I want to know how you feel about our future."
"I thought you knew," he said with a sad expression.
I did know Alexander wanted us to be together, but I wanted to make sure he also wanted me to be a vampire-his vampire. I felt my blood boil. I wanted to be a vampire so badly that I needed the rea.s.surance that I would be one day. "I just want you to tell me ... that it will happen!"
"You want me to bite you now-or else?" he pressed.