"Yes, I knew her then very well."
"I liked her better at that time than you ever supposed. She was very young; just out of school, in fact. She had lived all her life in the suburbs, and had grown up like an unpruned rose bush,--a fine stock in a strong soil, but throwing out its shoots quite wildly and at random."
"I know it; but all that is changed, I can"t conceive how."
"I can tell you. The one person whom she loved and stood in awe of was her father. He was a man, and a strong one. He died suddenly about the time you went away. It was the first blow she had ever felt; and his death was only the beginning of greater troubles. You remember her brother Henry."
"I remember him when he was at school--a good-natured, high-spirited little fellow, whom every body liked."
"With wild blood enough for a regiment, and as careless, thoughtless, and easy-tempered as a child, such as he was, in fact. His father, being out of the country on his affairs, sent him to New York, where he fell in with a bad set, and grew very dissipated. Then, to get him out of harm"s way, they shipped him off to Canton, where he soon began to ruin himself, hand over hand. At last, a few months after his father"s death, his mother and sister heard that he was on his way home, with his health completely broken. The next news was, that he was at Alexandria, dangerously ill of a slow fever. His mother, who, with all respect, is the weakest of mortals, broke down at once into a state of helplessness, and could do nothing but weep and lament. The whole burden fell upon his sister. She went with her mother and a man servant to Alexandria, and took charge of her brother, whose fever left him in such an exhausted state that he fell into a decline. She brought him as far as Naples, but he could go no farther; and here she attended him for five months, till he died; her mother sinking, meanwhile, into a kind of moping imbecility. By that time, her uncle had found grace to come and join them. Then her turn came; her strength failed her, and she fell violently ill. For a week, her life was despaired of; but she rallied, against all hope. I was in Naples soon after, and used to meet her every morning, as she drove in an open carriage to Baiae. I never saw such a transformation. She was pale as death, but very beautiful; and her whole expression was changed.
She had always been very fond of her brother. There were some points of likeness between them. He had her wildness, and her kindliness of disposition, but none of her vigorous good sense, and was altogether inferior to her in intellect. Now you can have some idea why you find her so different from what you once knew her to be."
"I knew," said Morton, "that she had pa.s.sed through the fire in some way; but how I could not tell. I think, now, still better of your judgment, Ned."
"Then you see why I will not go with you. I must bring this matter to an issue. For good or evil, I must know how it goes with me. It is not a new thing. It is of longer date than you imagined, or she either.
What the end of it may be, Heaven only knows; but one thing is certain,--you will not see me in the South Seas before this point is cleared."
"Then I shall never see you there."
"Why do you say that?"
"Your travelling days are over. At least I think so."
"Do you mean----?"
"That you are playing at a game where I think you will win."
"What reason have you to think so?" demanded Meredith, nervously.
"Take the opinion, and let the reason go. On such an argument a good reason will sometimes dwindle into nothing when one tries to explain it."
His hand was on the door as he spoke, and bidding his friend good morning, he left him to his meditations.
CHAPTER LXVI.
Why waste thy joyous hours in needless pain, Seeking for danger and adventure vain?--_Fairy Queen_.
Morton mounted his horse, and rode to the house of Mrs. Euston. He found her daughter alone.
"I have come to take leave of you. I am on my travels again."
"Again! You are always on the wing. I supposed that you must have learned, by this time, to value home, or, at least, be reconciled to staying there in peace."
"My home is a little lonely, and none of the liveliest. Movement is my best repose."
"You are wholly made up of restlessness."
"That is Nature"s failing, not mine; or if Nature declines to bear the burden of my shortcomings, I will put them upon Destiny, and with much better cause. But this is not restlessness; or, if it is, it has method in it. This journey is a plan of eight years" standing. I concocted it when I was a junior, half fledged, at college, and never lost sight of it but once, and then for a cause that does not exist now."
"Where are you going?"
Morton gave the outline of his journey.
"But is not that very difficult and dangerous?"
"Not very."
"You will not be alone, surely."
"I provided for a companion years ago. My friend Meredith and I struck an agreement, that when I went on this journey he should go with me."
An instant shadow pa.s.sed across the face of f.a.n.n.y Euston.
"So you will have a companion," she replied, with a nonchalance too distinct to be genuine.
"Not at all. He breaks his word. He won"t hear of going."
The cloud vanished.
"I take it ill of him; for I had relied on having him with me. He and I are old fellow-travellers. I have tried him in sunshine and rain, and know his metal." And he launched into an emphatic eulogy of his friend, to which f.a.n.n.y Euston listened with a pleasure which she could not wholly hide.
"He best knows why he fails me. It is some cogent and prevailing reason; no light cause, or sudden fancy. Some powerful motive, mining deep and moving strongly, has shaken him from his purpose; so I forgive him for his falling off."
As Morton spoke, he was studying his companion"s features, and she, conscious of his scrutiny, visibly changed color.
"Dear cousin," he said, with a changed tone, "if I must lose my friend, let me find, when I return, that my loss has been overbalanced by his gain. I will reconcile myself to it, if it may help to win for him the bounty that he aspires to."
The blush deepened to crimson on f.a.n.n.y Euston"s cheek; and without waiting for more words, Morton bade her farewell.
CHAPTER LXVII.
Mais ai-je sur son ame encor quelque pouvoir, Quelque reste d"amour s"y fait il encor voir.--_Polyeucte_.
With a slow step and a sinking heart, Morton entered Mrs. Ashland"s drawing room. He told her of his proposed journey; told her that he should leave the country within a few days, to be absent for a year or two at least, and asked her mediation to gain for him a parting interview with Edith Leslie.
Mrs. Ashland, and she only, knew the whole misery of her friend"s position, and feared lest, exhausted as she was by mental pain and long watching, and divided between her unextinguished love for Morton, and her abhorrence of the criminal who by name and the letter of the law was her husband, the meeting might put her self-mastery to too painful a proof. She therefore, though with a very evident reluctance, dissuaded Morton from it.
"Edith has been taxed already to the farthest limit of her strength.
She is not ill, but quite worn and spent. She is almost constantly with her father, who, now, can hardly be said to live, and needs constant care. To see you at this time would agitate her too much."
"Can the sight of me still have so much power to move her?"