"Let me feel you," I whisper roughly, still longing to be near her.
"Max, wait," she pleads without moving an inch from her spot. "What"s happened? Is Casey okay? Did something happen to her?" she asks with alarm.
Finally conceding she"s not about to come closer without an explanation, I walk toward her. My hands touch her face, lifting it gently and allowing my eyes to search hers for the gentleness I"ve come to rely on.
"Is it Casey? Is she why you"re..."
I don"t give her a chance to finish. "She"s okay."
Her relief is immediate. She exhales a breath. "Then..."
"Casey"s fine," I whisper, leaning in to meet my lips with hers.
When she pulls away, her voice is shaking as much as my hands still are. "Please, talk to me."
"I killed a man," I confess out loud for the first time, then wait for a response. Her audible gasp as she stands in front of me is all I"m granted. "Hangar. He"s the man who killed Marie."
"Oh, my G.o.d," she whispers.
"He had hurt Casey, too. I"m sure of it now."
"Max," she starts, but I don"t allow her to continue.
"I"ll die for her, Em. After what happened..."
I thought about this as I was driving around tonight. I"ve come to realize that if this comes down to my life for hers, there wouldn"t be a decision to be made.
"If it comes down to me or Casey..." I start.
"Max, no," she stops me.
I begin again, holding her in a determined stare. "If it comes down to my life for hers, I want you to tell me you"d do the same."
"Of course, but Max..."
"The things I heard tonight," I cut her off. I close my eyes in remembrance and feel more of the circ.u.mstance"s weight bear down on my already tired shoulders.
"I"ve always known who you were deep inside," she reminds me. "And I"ve always known what you"d do to protect those you love. Even when I was young, before Marie died, I thought you were invincible."
Looking down, I utter quietly between us, "I"m not a hero. I never wanted anything more than what G.o.d thought fit to give me, Emma. I swear that to you. I never thought, in all these years of feeling what I did after Marie died, he"d offer me a chance to be happy again."
"I love you," she whispers, looking ahead at my chest.
My hands move to her waist, holding her to me tighter than needed for only a moment.
Moving the hair that"s falling around her face, I hold the back of her neck and bend to kiss the crown of her head. "I know you do."
"And I trust you." Em watches closely as I swallow hard.
"Okay, baby," I a.s.sure her quietly as I take in what she"s said.
Chapter Thirty-Two.
After waking this morning and spending most of the day with Em, I knew, although not wanting to, I had to get back to Creed. Most of our time together was spent in silence. I drew from her the strength I needed and she gave it without question. She didn"t pressure me with questions, even though I knew I"d be leaving her with many.
Before finally heading out, I explained to her that I"d probably not be back for a while and didn"t let on that according to my discussion with Aimes, we"d start moving on this soon. I didn"t want our last moments to be plagued with uncertainty and doubt. Instead, I went to my room before I left and packed, including the gun I kept in my nightstand, which I"d never brought into Creed before. Once I told her goodbye, I left her standing alone in the doorway with all of her hope still between us.
"Where the f.u.c.k are you?" Low"s question comes through the phone line with urgency.
"On my way back to Creed. Why?" I return.
"Braydon and the boys are confirmed ready and are waiting on standby. I"ll tell you now, they"re itching to get this motherf.u.c.kin" party started."
Party.
Jesus Christ. "When?"
"Tonight." He pauses, and I a.s.sume he"s doing the same as I am: checking the time. "As in about two hours."
"Do I need to know anything before this happens?"
Low laughs in my ear, finding genuine humor in a question I didn"t think was f.u.c.kin" funny. "You"ll know."
"f.u.c.k," I clip. "Where"s Aimes?"
"He"s already en route."
"To Creed?"
"Yeah," he answers. "Who the f.u.c.k is Anna, and what"s she got to do with any of this?"
Judging by Low"s question, it"s even more obvious that Aimes is determined to get Anna out with the others. "She means something to the man holding Casey."
"She Viktor"s girl?"
Hard to explain. "Yes and no."
"Well f.u.c.k, Aimes," he says to me, but I know he"s talking to his brother who can"t hear him complain. "Figures he"d have to complicate s.h.i.t for a woman he hardly knows."
"She"s worth it," I a.s.sure him. "She"s been good to Casey and she"s been helpful to me."
"Well, who the f.u.c.k is Cilas?"
"We gotta get into this now?" I reply, knowing I have limited time to get where I need to be.
"Guess not." He sighs. "It sucks being the techie, I"m just sayin". I miss all the good s.h.i.t while you f.u.c.kers steal all the fun."
"You"re good at what you do, Low," I answer, and I mean it. "And this s.h.i.t isn"t fun."
He hesitates before speaking softly. "Max, I heard some of the s.h.i.t that"s happening there. Get Casey, but don"t play hero, okay?"
"Aimes is goin" to play hero. Did you b.i.t.c.h and moan at him?" I return, slightly annoyed.
"Let him do whatever the f.u.c.k he does. He"s a crazy-a.s.s son of a b.i.t.c.h, but he also has a f.u.c.k-load more experience than you do with this s.h.i.t."
"If I can help Em"s sister, Dee Dee, I plan to. Just tellin" you this ahead of time."
"Casey, d.a.m.n it," he reiterates, excluding Dee Dee entirely.
I comply, but it"s not with the truth. "Got it."
"You sure?" he questions.
"Yeah, I"ll see what I can do." I debate not telling him about Hangar, but he"ll want to get word to Aimes. "One more thing."
"Shoot."
"The man who killed Marie is dead."
I hear the wind being knocked out of Low. He says nothing for a few seconds. "What the f.u.c.k?"
"Long story, but I"ll tell you, the world is down one crazy son of a b.i.t.c.h."
"Yeah, I"d say it is. You okay?"
No, not really, but I"ve got to focus. "Yeah, Low. I"m good."
"You"re lying, but we"ll talk later," he returns, seeing right through me. "You gonna be able to keep your s.h.i.t together?"
"Tell me what I need to know and I"ll answer that after."
Low continues filling me in on the parts of the plan Aimes has authorized him to. On paper, it doesn"t sound like it"ll be difficult, but everything about this is dangerous nonetheless. The only task I"m given is to ensure every girl is in her room at go-time.
Easy enough.
When I walk in the front door of the club, the first few members I see sitting at a table in the common area are Dog, Charlie, and Iron. When Charlie catches me entering, his usually calm and collected expression shifts to concerned.
"You shouldn"t be here," Iron says quietly while looking around the room for who or whatever he"s afraid of. "Hoss isn"t f.u.c.kin" happy."
This is understandable considering what happened just hours before.
"He"s in his office," Charlie chimes in. "He"s drinkin", and he said you"re not to be here until he"s ready to look at you again. Viktor"s MIA. No one"s seen him, not even Anna. What the f.u.c.k happened last night?"
"Hangar"s dead," Dog puts out with a sneer. "I had to deal with the f.u.c.kin" mess. Wick"s in his room and said he"s thinkin" of droppin" his cut. Not cool when one of your own gets sliced on his own turf."
"That f.u.c.ker was crazy and we all know it." Charlie voices in my defense.
Iron is still insistent. "I"ve been here a long f.u.c.kin" time, and I"ve never seen Hoss so f.u.c.ked. I know he and Hang were tight, but Hang f.u.c.ked up. We all knew that s.h.i.t was comin". You don"t f.u.c.k with Viktor, his girls, or his business." He shakes his head. "You just don"t unless you"ve got a death wish."
"Maybe he did," Charlie voices, pulling his beer to his lips and keeping eye contact with the bar behind me.
I feel my cell phone vibrate in my jacket. Pulling it out, I stand when I find it"s Em calling. "I gotta take this," I tell the table, looking at Charlie.
Charlie nods and the others continue sitting quietly.
As I step toward the bar, I answer. "What"s up, Emma? I"m busy."
"Hoss called again. You told me to tell you if he did and he has."
Looking around the room for Hoss himself, I wait before asking, "What"d he say this time?"
"He says Casey"s leaving Creed today." Her calm tone indicates she"s not processed the information or she doesn"t believe what he"s saying. "Is she leaving, Max?"
"No, she"s not," I a.s.sure her.
"He told me to come say goodbye. He even said he"d meet me at the gate if I"d come now."
After slamming my hand on the bar top, I stand rigid. "Don"t come here, Emilyn. Don"t."
"What if she"s leaving and you don"t know about it?"
"Do you remember what I told you last night? What happened here yesterday?" I take a collective breath and use it to lower my voice. "If you come here and something happens to you, Em..."
"I know, you"re right. But I wanted you to know he called."
"Thank you," I exhale an already exhaustive breath. "Stay put. I love you."
"I love you, too. Please be careful."
I don"t say anything else; instead, I disconnect the call and toss the phone on the bar.
f.u.c.king Hoss.
Cilas, who I hadn"t seen coming up from behind me, moves to stand at my side. His expression is one I know in my gut I haven"t seen before. He nods to the hallway, the route I usually take when I go to find Casey.
My body goes on instant alert.
After following him down the hall and around the building, I find Anna is sitting in a wheelchair next to the door of the kitchen. Her face is a mess of cuts and bruises. Her arm is in a sling, wrapped around her shoulder, while the hand on the other clutches the chair"s arm.
She looks completely different with her small body so broken.
Upon our arrival, she instantly addresses Cilas in a soft and affectionate tone. "Leave us, Ci, please."