""This cask, may it please your ladyship and the Captain, contains the wine which you both are so extremely fond of. You have observed, with some surprise, that its flavor has of late much improved. I shall now, with your permission, show you the cause of that improvement, for which--ha, ha, ha!--you are solely indebted to me. The opening of this cask will disclose a mystery that you have never dreamed of. Look!"
"They both strained forward in eager expectation. A few blows sufficed to remove the head of the cask. Horror! a sickening stench arose, and there became visible the headless trunk of a human being. That portion of the body which was not immersed in the wine, was putrid. "Look here!" cried I, in mad triumph, plunging my arm into the cask, and drawing forth the ghastly head of Lagrange. I held aloft the horrid trophy of my vengeance; there were the dull, staring eyes, the distorted features, and drops of wine oozed from between the set teeth. With a long, loud shriek, her ladyship fell to the ground insensible; muttering fierce curses on me, the Captain turned to raise her, and profiting by the opportunity, I escaped from the cellar and fled from the house. Making the best of my way to the "Jolly Thieves,"
in St. Giles, I sought safety and concealment there, where I had ample leisure to mature my future plans.
"In a day or two I saw it announced in one of the newspapers that a cask had been found floating in the river Thames, which on opening was found to contain the body and head of a man, and a quant.i.ty of wine.
The circ.u.mstance gave rise to the supposition that the body had been procured by some surgeon for dissection, and for some reason had been abandoned and thrown overboard. The cask and its contents had, of course, been thrown into the river through the agency of the Captain; and the affair gave rise to neither excitement nor investigation.
"Meanwhile, Lord Hawley had returned to town. No sooner was I apprised of the fact, than I sent him the following blunt and somewhat rude epistle--for I felt too keen a thirst for vengeance on my enemies to admit of my being very choice or respectful in my language, even to a n.o.bleman:--
""My lord,--you are a cuckold. Do you doubt it? I can prove it, beyond the shadow of a doubt. Captain Eugene St. Clair is your lady"s lover--she is his mistress. For a long time past, she has, during your absence, received him into her chamber. You are laughed at by the pretty pair, as a withered, impotent old dotard. You know the handwriting of your late valet, Lagrange. Accompanying this is a letter written by him, to you; before he had an opportunity of sending it to you, he was _made away with_, through the instrumentality of your amiable wife, who had every reason to suppose that he would betray her. The tale trumped up by the n.o.ble harlot about the Frenchman"s having stolen your property and fled, is a lie. My lord, I think you have reason to be grateful to me for exposing the guilty parties; if so, any pecuniary reward which you may see fit to send me, by one of your servants, (I am at the _Jolly Thieves_, in St. Giles,) will be gratefully accepted by
MICHAEL SIMPSON."
"I thus freely disclosed my place of concealment to his lordship, because I apprehended no danger to myself, knowing that the n.o.bleman was a man of honor, who would not injure the person who had rendered him such an important service as to put him on the track to avenge his wrongs. And I also antic.i.p.ated receiving a liberal reward for my information; nor was I disappointed,--for that very evening a servant in the Hawley livery called at the _Jolly Thieves_, and presented me with a small package, which on opening I found to contain bank notes to the amount of five hundred pounds, and the following note, which though in his lordship"s handwriting, bore neither address nor signature:--
""Here is the reward of your information. Accept, also, my thanks.
The proof you have furnished of the truth of your statement, admits of no doubt. I know how to punish the w**e and her blackguard paramour. You had better leave the country, for I can surmise what agency _you_ had in the affair of Lagrange"s disappearance; but as you were the tool of others, I stoop not to molest you. Should the event, however, gain notoriety, _the law_ of course, will not prove equally considerate."
"I was overjoyed! Five hundred pounds, and the certainty of having ruined my enemies! That night I gave a sumptuous supper to all the frequenters of the _Jolly Thieves_; and a jolly time we had of it, I"ll a.s.sure you, comrades. The most respectable men in London were present at the feast; there were nine cracksmen, five highwaymen, twelve pickpockets, two murderers, three gentlemen who had escaped from transportation, and a smart sprinkling of small workmen, in the way of _fogle hunters_, (handkerchief thieves,) and _body s.n.a.t.c.hers_, (grave robbers). Full forty of us sat down to a smoking supper of stewed tripe and onions,--ah, how my mouth waters to think of it now!
And then the _lush_!--gallons of ale, rivers of porter, and oceans of grog! Every gentleman present volunteered a song; and when it came to be my turn, I gave the following, which, (being something of a poet,) I had myself composed, expressly for the occasion, to the air of the _Brave Old Oak_:--
SONG OF THE JOLLY THIEF.
"A song to the thief, the jolly, jolly thief, Who has plied his trade so long;-- May he ne"er come down to the judge"s frown, Or the cells of Newgate strong.
"Tis a n.o.ble trade, where a living"s made By an art so bold and free; May he never be snug in a cold, stone jug, Or swing from a two-trunk"d tree!
CHORUS Then here"s to the thief, the jolly thief Who plies his trade so bold-- May he never see a turnkey"s key, Or sleep in a prison cold!
"This song was received with the most uproarious applause by the jovial crew; and we separated at a late hour, after giving three groans for the new police.
"A few days pa.s.sed away. I never neglected each morning to carefully peruse all the newspapers; and just as I was beginning to despair of ever seeing any announcement calculated to a.s.sure me that my enemies were overthrown, I had the intense satisfaction of reading the following paragraph in the _Times_:--
""AN AFFAIR OF HONOR. Yesterday morning, his lordship Viscount Hawley and the Honorable Captain Eugene St. Clair had a hostile meeting in the suburbs of London. Circ.u.mstances of a delicate nature, of which we are not at liberty to speak at present, are reported to have led to the difficulty between the n.o.ble gentlemen. At the first fire Captain St. Clair fell, and upon examination it was found that he had been shot through the heart. He died instantly. His lordship was uninjured, and immediately departed for the Continent unaccompanied by her ladyship."
"I danced with delight when I read this paragraph. "My vengeance is already half accomplished," thought I. But what had become of Lady Hawley? The newspapers, from day to day and from week to week, were silent with respect to her fate. At length I began to fear that her ladyship, after all, was destined to escape uninjured by my endeavors to effect her ruin. Was I right? You shall see.
"Nearly two years pa.s.sed away, during which time, with the aid of my five hundred pounds, I had set up a first-rate public house in a populous and respectable neighborhood, and was making money. I have little doubt but that the sign of "_The Red Cask_" is still remembered in that vicinity--for that was the name which, actuated by a strange whim, I had given to my tavern; and the same was ill.u.s.trated by a huge swinging sign in front, on which was painted the representation of a large cask overflowing with blood--which, I need scarcely tell you, was a sly and humorous allusion to the affair of Lagrange"s murder.--Well, one cold, stormy winter"s night, when the wind was howling like ten thousand devils around the house, I was seated in my comfortable tap-room, making myself extremely happy over a reeking jarum of hot rum punch. I was alone, for the hour was late, and all my guests had departed; when suddenly, during a pause in the clatter of the elements, I heard a low, timid knock at my outer door, which faced on the street.--Supposing it to be either some thirsty policeman, or a belated traveller anxious to escape from the fury of the storm, I arose and unbarred the door; as I opened it, a fierce gust of wind rushed in, so piercing cold, that it seemed to chill me to the very marrow of my bones; and at the same moment I beheld a human form crouching down under the narrow archway over the door, as if vainly endeavoring to shield herself from the fury of the tempest. I knew it was a woman, for I caught a glimpse at an old bonnet and tattered shawl. She shivered with the cold, which even made my teeth chatter, stout and rugged as I was. "What do you want?" I demanded roughly--for I was impatient at having been thus unseasonably interrupted while paying my devotions to the mug of hot rum punch, in front of a rousing fire. As she made no immediate reply, I was about to bid her begone and shut the door, when she said, in a faint, yet earnest tone--"Oh, sir, for G.o.d"s sake, as you hope for mercy yourself hereafter, let me come in for a moment--only a moment--that I may warm my benumbed and freezing limbs!" I paused a moment; I am not naturally hard-hearted, unless there is something to be gained by it; and besides, I felt a kind of curiosity to see what sort of a creature it was who wandered the streets that awful night, dest.i.tute and houseless; so I bade her come in, and with difficulty she followed me into the tap-room; placing a seat for her near the fire, I resumed my own, and while leisurely sipping my punch, a good opportunity was afforded me to examine her narrowly. She was probably about twenty years of age, but much suffering had made her look older. Though her features were worn and wasted, and though her cheeks were hollow by the pinchings of want, she was beautiful; her eyes were large, l.u.s.trous and eminently expressive, and two or three stray curls of luxuriant hair peeped from beneath her old, weather stained bonnet. Her form was tall, and graceful in its outlines; but what particularly struck me was the singular whiteness and delicacy of her hands, which plainly indicated that she had never been accustomed to labor of any kind. Her dress was wretched in the extreme, and was scarce sufficient to cover her nakedness, much less shield her from the inclemency of the weather,--nay, my inquisitive researches soon convinced me that the miserable gown she wore was, excepting an old shawl, her _only garment_--no under clothing, not even stockings,--and her feet (I noticed that they were small and symmetrical,) were only separated from the cold sidewalk by thin and worn-out shoes.--Yet, notwithstanding all her poverty and wretchedness, there was about her a look of subdued pride, which, though in strange contrast with her garb, well became her general air, and regular handsome features.
Everything about her, excepting her dress, convinced me that she had fallen from better days, and, somehow, that look of pride struck me as being strangely familiar; yet I racked my brain in vain to recall from the dreamy past some image that I could identify with the female before me, who sat in front of my blazing fire and warmed her chilled limbs with every appearance of the most intense satisfaction.
"Her superior air commanded my involuntary respect. "Madam," said I, "are you hungry?" She eagerly answered in the affirmative; I placed provisions before her, and she ate with an appet.i.te almost ravenous. I then gave her some mulled wine, which seemed to revive her greatly; and she returned me her thanks in a manner so lady-like and refined (a manner, however, which insensibly partook of a peculiar and indirect kind of _hauteur_, as remarkable in her tone as in the expression of her features,) that I was more than ever satisfied that she had descended to her present wretched situation, certainly from a respectable, if not from a very superior, order of society.
""You have benefitted me greatly, sir, and I thank you," said she, inclining her head towards me with an air almost condescending. "I a.s.sure you, you have not bestowed your _a.s.sistance_ (she didn"t say _charity_, observe!) upon a habitual mendicant or common person. I am by birth a lady; you will pardon me for declining to state the causes of my present condition. Again I thank you."
"The devil, comrades! here was a starving, freezing beggar woman whom I had picked out of the street, and warmed and fed, playing the condescending, reserved lady, forsooth! and abashing and humbling me by her d----d lofty, proud looks! Ha, ha, ha! and yet I liked it, mightily; the joke was too good; and so I continued to "madam" her, until at last I actually detected her on the very point of calling me "fellow;" but fortunately for her, she checked herself in time to escape being turned into the street forthwith.
"And yet the superiority of her air and the haughtiness of her manner had for me an indescribable charm, no less than her beauty; and I resolved, if possible, to make her my mistress, for I doubted not that when she should become nourished and strengthened by proper food and rest, she would make a very desirable companion for a man of my amorous temperament. However, I did not broach the subject at that time, but contented myself with seeing that she was comfortably provided for that night, under the charge of one of the females of the house, to whom I gave money with which to provide the strange lady with proper and respectable clothing in the morning. The next day I had occasion to go away at an early hour, and did not return until late in the afternoon, and on entering my little parlor, I was surprised at beholding a lady, handsomely dressed, who advanced towards me with an air of dignified politeness. Her rich hair was most tastefully arranged; her neat dress closely fitted a slender but elegant shape, and I was struck with the dazzling fairness and purity of her complexion, and the patrician cast of her features. A second glance told me it was the female whom I had relieved the previous night; and I became aware of the fact that the strange lady was no other than Lady Adelaide Hawley!
"She did not recognize me, for I was much changed, in consequence of having removed the huge beard which I had worn, while in her husband"s service. You may imagine my triumph at finding the proud lady an inmate of my house and a dependent on my bounty, under circ.u.mstances so humiliating to her and so gratifying to me; and you may well believe that I lost no time in giving her to understand the nature of the reward I expected in return for my hospitality. Would you believe it? She actually repulsed me with scorn, and began to talk of her birth, and the superiority of her rank to mine! Her confounded pride had now become altogether ridiculous; and somewhat enraged, I told her who I was. She started, regarded me for a moment with a scrutinizing look, and burst into tears, saying--"It is so, indeed! My punishment is just; I am humbled and degraded before the very menial I despised.
Take, me, Simpson; do with me as you will; crime levels all ranks. Yet stay; I am still feeble; delay the consummation of your triumph for one week. During that period I shall regain the strength I have lost, and the beauty that has faded; then shall I be a fitting partner for your bed." I consented; two or three days pa.s.sed, and I was rejoiced to perceive that she daily grew in strength and beauty, and was fast regaining that voluptuousness of person which had formerly distinguished her. She related to me, at my request, the particulars of her downfall. She had been cast off by her husband and rejected by her relations with scorn and curses, when the fact of her adultery with St. Clair was discovered.--Entirely friendless and without resources, she was compelled to place herself under the protection of a gentleman of fashion and pleasure, who rioted on her luxuriant charms for a brief season, until possession and excess produced satiety, the sure forerunner of disgust--she was then thrown aside as a worthless toy, to make room for some fresh favorite. Rendered desperate by her situation, she became an _aristocratic courtezan_, freely sacrificing her person to every n.o.bleman and gentleman of rank who chose to pay liberally for her favors. In this manner she subsisted for a time in luxury--but at last, her patrons (as is always the case) grew tired of her; she had become
"Like a thrice-told tale, Vexing the dull ears of a drowsy man,"
and was again thrown upon the world without resources. Her indomitable pride still clung to her, through all her misfortunes; and though she plainly saw that her amours with the aristocracy were at an end forever, she disdained to seek meaner lovers among the humbler cla.s.ses. Every offer made to her by men of medium rank, was spurned by the proud harlot with supreme contempt. "I am a companion for n.o.bility--not for the grovelling ma.s.ses," she would reply, in answer to all such offers; nor did the pinchings of want and hunger even for a moment shake her resolution, or disarm her prejudices. She might, had she been disposed, have still lived in comfort and even splendor, by becoming an inmate of some fashionable brothel; but as in such an establishment she would be required to bestow her favors indiscriminately on men of all ranks, who could pay for the same, she recoiled from the idea with disgust. Thus did the pride of this singular woman triumph over her wants and poverty; when on the very verge of starvation, with the means of relief within her grasp, the thought--"I am of n.o.ble birth," would sustain her, and enable her to resist successfully the longings of hunger and the sufferings incidental to a homeless life. No scrupulous delicacy prevented her from accepting any a.s.sistance, pecuniary or otherwise, that might be offered to her; she even did not hesitate to ask for charity, in tones of _affected_ humility; but the all-pervading principle, PRIDE OF BIRTH, implanted within her breast, imperiously restrained her from bestowing the favors of her patrician person upon "vulgar plebeians;"
and, in consequence, she had sunk lower and lower in want, dest.i.tution and misery, until driven, on that terrible winter"s night, to supplicate for a slight and temporary relief at the door of one whom she had formerly so much despised, but on whom she was now so dependent.
"It was a cold evening, and her ladyship and myself were seated before a comfortable fire. An abundance of wholesome food, and every comfort which it was in my power to procure for her, had improved her appearance greatly. Her form had regained much of its natural roundness, and her countenance had recovered all its original beauty.
She was gazing pensively into the fire; while I regarded _her_ with an eye of admiration, and a heart full of amorous longings. At length I broke the silence. "To-morrow night, madam," said I, "the week for which you stipulated, will have expired." She sighed deeply, and murmured, in an almost inaudible tone, "It is so, indeed." Noticing the sigh which accompanied her words, a frown of displeasure gathered on my brow; but it was almost instantly dispelled, in the delight I felt at my approaching happiness. "Yes," I continued, "to-morrow night I shall be the happiest of men; but madam, why delay until to-morrow night that felicity which may as well be enjoyed to-night? You can never be more beautiful or more voluptuous than you are at this moment." During the utterance of these words, I had drawn my chair close to hers, and encircled her enchanting waist with my arm; I felt her heart throbbing wildly beneath my hand, which had invaded the snowy regions of her swelling charms--and I took it to be the wild throbbing of pa.s.sion. We were alone--not a soul was stirring in the house; propitious moment! How longingly I gazed upon her dewy lips, which reminded me of the lines in Moore"s _Anacreon_--which, I suppose, is all Latin and Greek to you, comrades:--
"Her lips, so rich in blisses, Sweet pet.i.tioners for kisses!
Pouting nest of bland persuasion, Ripely suing Love"s invasion."
And they did not long sue in vain; for such vigorous salute as I gave them would have put even Captain St. Clair to the blush. While thus tasting the honey of the sweetest and most luscious pair of lips in the three kingdoms, I fancied that I felt her trembling with delight in my arms; but too soon did I become aware that she was only shuddering with disgust; for by a vigorous effort she struggled from my embrace, and, breathless and panting, said--"Not now, Simpson, not now, I entreat, I implore you! To-morrow night, the week"s exemption which I craved, will be completed,--then--then--at this hour--you may--you will find me in my chamber; _then_, so help me G.o.d! I will offer no resistance; but now, not now!" I surveyed her ladyship with some surprise; her eyes sparkled like diamonds, and her face, neck and bosom were suffused with a ruddy, glowing hue. "As you please, madam,"
I coldly rejoined, for I was provoked at her violent and unexpected resistance--"as you please; but remember, I am no longer to be trifled with. To-morrow night be it, then; and see that you do not repeat this obstinacy of conduct, for I will then accomplish my object, even if I have to resort to force and violence!" "_I will not then resist you_, I swear it!" said she, with much solemnity of manner, and then added--"one favor I will ask of you: permit me to remain all day to-morrow in my chamber, and do not even attempt to see me, until twelve o"clock to-morrow night, at which hour you will find me waiting for your appearance." I agreed to this request; and she bade me good-night in a tone almost cheerful, as she left the room to seek her chamber.
"The next day and the next evening pa.s.sed;--the midnight hour arrived.
I closed my house, and repaired to the chamber which had been a.s.signed to the use of my lady guest. Finding the door unlocked, I softly entered the apartment; it was a s.p.a.cious room, tolerably well furnished, and the bed was shrouded by muslin curtains; a lighted candle stood upon the table; glancing around I saw n.o.body. "She is in bed," thought I, and every nerve in my body thrilled with delight at the thought. I approached the bed, and drew aside the curtain. There she lay--but how very still! "She sleeps," thought I, somewhat surprised; and bending over in the dim light of the unsnuffed candle, I kissed her lips--heavens! what made them so very cold--and why was the hand which I had lasciviously laid upon her bosom, dampened with a warm liquid? I rushed to the table, seized the candle, and returned to the bed-side. There she lay--DEAD! The life-blood was welling from an awful gash in her left breast; her right hand grasped a dagger--the instrument of her death; the bed on which she lay was literally soaked with her blood, and my hand was stained with it. Then I comprehended her words--"_I will not then resist you!_" I staggered back, horror-stricken; the shadow of remorse for the first time darkened my soul; I would have wrested the dagger from her lifeless hand, and plunged it into my own heart, but in the agonies of death she had clutched it too firmly to admit of my easily tearing it from her grasp. I turned from the bed, and again placed the candle upon the table; I sat down by it, with the cold perspiration starting from every pore. Ha! what is this? a letter, and addressed to me? I had not observed it before. Eagerly I tore it open, and instantly recognized the elegant handwriting of her ladyship--not a blot, not a misformed letter marred the beautiful chirography of the missive; it was written with the same grace and precision that had in former days characterized her ladyship"s notes of invitation to her splendid parties. As near as I can remember, it read as follows:--
""Death is preferable to the dishonor of your vile embraces. Were you a man of birth, gladly would I accept the protection of your arms; but Lady Adelaide Hawley can never become the mistress of a menial. I welcome death, as it will preserve me from staining the purity of my n.o.ble blood by cohabitation with such as _thou_ art. May heaven pity and forgive me!"
"After I had read this characteristic note, I reflected deeply upon the tragic event--her suicide. Innocent as I was of her death, might I not be arrested as her murderer?[B] Circ.u.mstances were strong against me; how could I prove my innocence? Many men have been hung on circ.u.mstantial evidence less strong. Though I had escaped detection on a murder which I had actually committed, I now feared that I should suffer for a deed of which I was not guilty. The gallows arose before my excited fancy, in all its terrors; my throat seemed encircled by the fatal rope.--I determined to fly the country; instantly acting upon this impulse, I left the chamber, and hastily collected together all my money (which was considerable) and valuables. Then I left the house, and seeking a safe asylum in an obscure party of the city, remained there until an opportunity was afforded me to take ship to America. I arrived here--soon spent all my money--was hauled up for a murder--was convicted of manslaughter only, and did the State service for a period of ten years in the stone inst.i.tution at Charlestown; served out my time--and here I am. Now, comrades, you have heard my story; that it has been a long one, and a dry one, I grant--at all events, the narration of it has made _me_ confoundedly dry. Here"s a health to jolly thieves all the world over, and confusion to honesty, the law, and the police!"
[B] Acute and sagacious as Jew Mike was, it did not occur to him, in his trepidation and alarm, that the note which he had just read, and which was in Lady Hawley"s own handwriting, would clearly exonerate him from all suspicion of his having murdered her. But guilt is sometimes singularly short-sighted, and Mike, as cunning a villain as he was, threw aside or perhaps destroyed the only evidence he could have possibly produced to substantiate his innocence.
Jew Mike did honor to his own toast in a b.u.mper of brandy; nor were the others backward in following his example. Sow Nance, who had just awoke from a sound sleep, swore it was the most capital story she had ever heard in her life, which opinion she enforced by many oaths that we need not repeat. "Charcoal Bill" and "Indian Marth" were loud in their expressions of delight; and Jew Mike had the satisfaction of perceiving that he had pleased his audience, and made himself the hero of the night. A general conversation followed, which lasted until the Jew, as chairman of the meeting and Captain of the _Grabbers_, called the a.s.sembly to order, and announced that Sow Nance had the floor;--whereupon silence was restored, and that lady gave utterance to the following words, in a hoa.r.s.e voice.--Her remarks were copiously interspersed with oaths, which, out of respect for the reader"s feelings and our own credit, we omit:--
"Well, gals and fellers, being as how my Mike here has been a blowin"
off his gas, I might as well blow mine. You all know how I first came to be se-duced, don"t yer? It was a rich State street lawyer wot first did it, when I was "leven years old. Ha, ha, ha! a jolly old c.o.c.k he was, with a bald head and a face all over red pimples--he used to be mighty fond of us girls, I tell yer. Maybe I didn"t use to suck the money out of him, by threatenin" to _blow_ on him--well, I did! Yer all know how I had a young-"un, and how--ha, ha, ha!--the brat was found, the next day after it was born, dead in the _Black Sea_; it never died no nat"ral death that young-"un didn"t, yer can bet yer life; the old Cor"ner wasn"t far out of the way when he said in his werdict that the child had been strangled! The State street lawyer was its father, I believe, tho" I can"t say for certain, I had so many partick"lar friends; for if I _ain"t_ werry good-looking, I"ve got winnin" ways. I came from a first-rate family, I did; my father was hung for killing my mother--one of my brothers has also danced a horn pipe in the air, and another is under sentence of death, off South, for beating a woman"s brains out with a fire shovel, and choking her five children with a dishcloth. He"s one of the true breed, he is. I ain"t no dishonor to my family, either; for besides that strangling business, (mind, I didn"t say _I_ did it!) I once pitched a drunken sailor down stairs, which accidentally broke his neck, after I had lightened his pockets of what small change he had about him.--To tell the honest truth, I"m rather too ugly to make much money by doing business myself; so I"ve gone into the business of picking up young, good-looking gals, coaxing them off, and getting them into the houses of my regular customers, who pay me well, at so much a head. My best customer is the rich Mr. Tickels, who lives in South street; many"s the young gal I"ve carried to him, and many"s the dollar I"ve earned by it. Look here--do you see this five dollar gold piece? I earned it this morning by coaxing a gal to go with me to Mr. Tickel"s house; she was a little beauty, I tell yer, and I"ll bet she won"t come out of that house the same as she went in, no how. She was a fruit gal, but she wasn"t one of us; her name, I believe was f.a.n.n.y--"
"Blood and battering-rams!"
This singular exclamation was made by the comical looking old man, who had entered the "Pig Pen" unperceived, and had been seated in the corner unnoticed by any of the company. He had arisen from his seat, and stood in an att.i.tude which betokened profound interest and great astonishment.
For a moment the whole gang, male and female, regarded him with surprise and suspicion; then Jew Mike sprang forward, seized him by the throat, shook him strongly, and in a rough, fierce voice, demanded:--
"Death and the devil, old scoundrel, how came you here? Who are you?--are you a police spy--one of Marshal Threekey"s gang? Speak, d----n you, before I break every bone in your accursed old carca.s.s!"
It was a singular contrast, between the great, powerful ruffian, and the little old man--nevertheless, the latter individual (who, the reader need scarcely be told, was no other than our eccentric friend, the Corporal,) did not tamely submit to such rough treatment; extricating himself, with much agility, from the grasp of the Jew, he dealt that worthy such a quick and stinging blow in the region of his left ear, that it laid him sprawling on the floor, at the same moment exclaiming--
"Skulls and skeletons! do you take me for a child? Nay, come on again, if you are so disposed, and by the nose of Napoleon! I"ll beat you to a jelly!"
It is difficult to say what might have been the fate of the gallant Corporal, had a second encounter taken place, for the Jew arose from the floor with a howl of rage, his dark face livid with pa.s.sion. But, fortunately for our friend, at this crisis there stepped forward a big, brawny, double-jointed Irishman, with a fist like a shoulder of mutton; this gentleman gloried in the t.i.tle of "Cod-mouth Pat," in humorous allusion to the peculiar formation of his "potato trap," an aperture in his head which might have been likened either to a cellar door or a coal scuttle.
"Och, be the powers, Misther Jew Mike," said Pat, placing himself between the Corporal and his gigantic antagonist--"be asy, and lave the owld gintlman alone; he"s a brave little man intirely, and it"s myself that"ll fight for him. Whoop! show me the man that "od harm my friend, and be the holy poker, and that"s a good oath, I"ll raise a lump on his head as big as the hill of Howth, and that"s no small one!"
The good-hearted Irishman"s interference saved the Corporal from a severe beating, if not from being killed outright--for the Jew dared not engage in a personal conflict with a man of Pat"s resolution and strength. Yet any ordinary observer could not have failed to notice the look of deadly vengeance that gleamed in his eyes, indicating that he would not soon forget or forgive the blow he had received.
At that moment, a loud noise resembling the crash of decanters and gla.s.ses, mingled with loud oaths and yells of defiance, which sounds proceeded from the adjoining dance cellar, plainly indicated that one of those "b.l.o.o.d.y rows" for which Ann street is famous, had commenced. Such a scene was too much the element of Cod-mouth Pat for him to remain tranquil during its progress; with an unearthly yell he grasped a short, thick cudgel which he always carried, and leaving the "Pig Pen," plunged into the thickest of the fight. Many a black eye and broken head attested the vigor of his arm; but the glory of his achievements did not screen him from being borne to the watchhouse, nor did his valor prevent the magistrate in the morning from inflicting upon him a very decent fine, which drew from him the indignant remark that--""Tis a great country, any how, where a man can"t have a ginteel bit of a fight without paying for it!"