I joined hands with Calcilast-sama savoring the joy. I wonder if something like us joining hands is what happiness is.
There"s a great amount of ladies superior to me in various aspects … I wonder whether I"m not a low-cla.s.s lady… I understand father and mother are fine people. However. I… I…
My happy mood is steadily getting away at the speed of sound. If I were a bit better… I"d be confident if I had some special skills but…
I wonder what is my strong point? Gentleness? Almond-shaped eyes? Um, I have no idea. Calcilast-sama admires me, but does he really think so?
You can"t, me. I must believe in Calcilast-sama. Then I heard Calcilast-sama"s voice.
"Marikana, why have your expression turned grim, has something happened to make you sad? Any problem?"
It appeared on my face, huh, in panic I tried to gloss over it "I"m a little tired from overeating…" Calcilast-sama opened the luxuriously patterned dining hall door with the hand that wasn"t holding mine.
We left the dining hall with Calcilast-sama worriedly watching me. He still seems to care about me. It"s like I"m being taken care of like a precious national treasure…
We advanced through the corridor with my gaze dropped to the emerald deep-pile carpet. My tension died down… Calcilast-sama is too wonderful, I shouldn"t be allowed to stand next to him…
The two people who pa.s.sed us cheerfully greeted us "Good morning! Calcilast-sama, Marikansama!"
Calcilast-sama dashingly returned a bright reply. I spoke in a gloomy voice "Good morning…" One of the servants asked "Marikansama, do you feel unwell?" He"s gentle…
I forced myself to smile and replied "I"m slightly lacking sleep… Don"t worry about it…" without energy…
Calcilast-sama was the first to react. He looked with a face like he was in pain and asked.
"My Marikana… Would you like to go take a rest somewhere? Or do you want to sleep?"
I threw those words "No, it"s not to that degree… I"m alright, let"s go on a date…" It might be like having homerun hit as a batter.
Calcilast-sama stopped his feet and put his hand against my forehead. His act startled me. Calcilast-sama declared "You don"t have fever" with relieved atmosphere.
Calcilast-sama is still worriedly looking at me. With our feet stopped, we"re looking at each other. I might be lacking restraint considering the atmosphere, but he really has a well-featured face.
Even in j.a.pan he"d easily be a handsome celebrity. He"s unapparelled in the whole country. Such a person loves me. But why? I don"t understand the reason…
I want to hear the reason, but it being put into words is frightening… My heart feels like rings spreading on a lake after a stone was thrown into it. I feel like I"m rapidly falling into a hole. There I"m wrapped in total darkness and I can"t see anything… Only darkness exists.
Then I heard a tiny voice "Marikana, Marikana…" and I came back from my world of daydream. Calcilast-sama is lightly shaking my shoulders while desperately calling my name… Happiness filled me heart.
I spoke "Thank you very much, Calcilast-sama." Then with "What is it?" he tilted his head and a question mark appeared above his head. I said.
"That we met… That alone is enough to make me happy…"
He abruptly laughed and told me "I feel the same, Marikana…"
I regained a little… rather, plenty energy. I broke into a slight smile. Calcilast-sama"s sweet words seem to have defeated me.
I can see a garden from the window. On the lawn are soldiers vigilant about suspicious people lurking around. They"re wearing silver armor and helmets, holding spears in their hands.
They have to fight dangers risking their lives. It"s tough, isn"t it. I guess they don"t fail to practice, everyone has splendid physiques. They"re tall with thick arms and legs.
If a monster appeared there, it seems it would die in a single blow. At that moment, a sound of whistle "Pii!" resounded. Soldiers a.s.sembled in the garden. About thirty people.
Because it"s a vast garden, even with so many people they aren"t cl.u.s.tered together. They"re pointing overhead. I and Calcilast-sama ran up to a window to look.
There"s a monster ten time the size of a crow there. Its weapons seem to be its beak and talons. Both are sharp. One of the soldiers threw a spear.
The monster caught it with its feet and threw it back putting in its own strength. The soldiers safely dodged it, but there"s no way to bring it down and defeat it.
The soldiers yelled "Call for a magical knight!" Surely, an arrow a soldier released hit, but it ended being just a scratch…
Then Calcilast-sama, whose thoughts I don"t understand, let go of my hand, opened a window and jumped into the garden. I panicked "Ca, Calcilast-sama, what are you planning to do!?"
And yet, he calmly said. With handsome face. Like that, he looks even better.
"I thought of showing my good points to my fiancée. Marikana, don"t move from there… Okay?"
I nodded. Then, Calcilast-sama chanted something like a spell. A brightly burning sword appeared in his hand. Isn"t his hand hot?
And then he moved with a speed too fast for me to perceive. I thought he disappeared. With another spell, he created footholds and ascended into the air. Fast. When the monster noticed Calcilast-sama, it was burned off with the fire sword.
Among the soldiers" voices of admiration, delighted Calcilast-sama returned to me. I said "I"m glad you"re safe!", crying slightly.
I complimented him "You were amazing just now! You defeated the monster in an instant!" I"m glad the dangerous monster was repelled with Calcilast-sama"s actions.
Calcilast-sama said shyly. Like he was revealing a secret. Such a look is also cute…
"I seem to have some talent for magic, so I"ve been diligently studying and using it. Secretly. My father wouldn"t look at me favorably for being too open about it… By the way, how was I before?"
I replied "You were amazingly cool, like a hero from legends! My heart is still beating fast!" with admiration.
Calcilast-sama seemed satisfied and showed a slightly proud smile. It"s amazing he hasn"t even started sweating after moving this much.
Last night"s piggybacking date last for over an hour, he certainly is tough. I fell in love with Calcilast-sama again. It"s not only his face. It"s also his diligence that I"ve learned of by chance.
He"s very different from me. But I can"t lose. I have to do my best at something too. Let"s imitate his diligence!
We joined our hands interlocking our fingers. And started walking again. I glanced at Calcilast-sama"s profile. He"s more beautiful than ever. Like a sculpture.
I asked "Can you use other magic? My beloved…"
Calcilast-sama said "Yeah, as the result of my continuous effort… I can use hundreds of them… Don"t you think I"ve overdone it? Studying is so fascinating I can"t stop…"
He has a fresh, happy atmosphere. Hee, does he like it so much. I"ve heard magic is difficult. Even so he has talent for it. I"m jealous…
I wonder how much he must train to be this skillful at magic. I said to him.
"I don"t think you"re overdoing it. Your hard work is the treasure of the country. Please do your best from now on too, okay? I"m looking forward to it!"
He gripped my hand a little stronger. I wonder if Calcilast-sama is happy? I hope so. Calcilast-sama said so.
"I want to secretly protect the country… Ah, please keep it hidden, okay? A prince doing such a thing…"
Calcilast-sama showing self-derision seemed somewhat lonely. I"d like to praise him somehow. I said so.
"Calcilast-sama is a wonderful person. A versatile one! Please don"t be pessimistic!"
Calcilast-sama muttered "Thank you for your kind words, I calmed down…"
I admire Calcilast-sama from the bottom of my heart. I wish for the perfect him to push forward undaunted. Such a lifestyle is cool…
Truly, I love Calcilast-sama… I will always love him. Even if the thought of condemnation is unbearable…
I looked at Calcilast-sama"s face as I walked next to him. Skin white as fresh snow, gentle expression, broad-mindedness that embraces everything… He"s lovely… I wonder why such a wonderful person chose me… Such a doubt came to my mind.
He noticed my gaze and our eyes met. Calcilast-sama, seeming happy, sweetly smiled… My heart started beating fast. After all he"s like a celestial being…
Calcilast-sama spoke. In a voice that felt kind. His voice is also beautiful… He truly has no weak spots.
"What"s the matter? Were you captivated by me? I"m just joking…"
I asked "That"s right. I can only gaze at you while I"m alive… Please be with me as much as you can, okay?"
Calcilast-sama made a confident statement "That"s natural. Until we pa.s.s away together!"
I feel like I"ve spent a long time in a hot spring of Calcilast-sama"s words. It feels like my heart melts in this pleasant warmth. I"m becoming used to such happiness… I"ve never thought it would happen.
At any rate, he"ll leave me… I wonder if our definite bond called engagement will be cut apart… That… I want to avoid that. Important… Calcilast-sama is more important to me than myself.
I want him to be happy… Even if I have to be sacrificed… My thoughts are grasping at straws. Even if I have to rely on unreliable things…
I absolutely want to avoid parting with Calcilast-sama"s smile. But I wonder if it"s possible for me… I"m ultimately a villainess… That fact remains unchanged.
I wonder if I can deal with it having regained the memories of my previous life… Which path should I follow to connect us? I wonder if there are options other than ruin… The devil called anxiety scoffed at me.
Ruin awaits… Ruin awaits … I staggered. That instant Calcilast-sama embraced me. His masculine body is reliable. But it can"t be called adult yet.
Calcilast-sama said "Are you okay? You staggered…" while supporting me carefully as if he was dealing with gla.s.swork.
Calcilast-sama kindness permeated me. How big-hearted he is. He"s too generous. He"s so greatly talented despite being just a single member of royalty.
I regained my footing like a newborn foal standing up. Putting strength into my feet, I appealed to myself in my heart. Be firm!
What am I doing making Calcilast-sama worry? What will I do if stress pierces a hole in his stomach? Due to the me without any value…
I brought up this subject to Calcilast-sama. While standing by myself. He corrected his att.i.tude like he"s taking care of the elderly.
"Am I not a nuisance to Calcilast-sama? I"m only a trouble…"
Calcilast-sama returned a lovely, warm smile like a beautiful actor.
"Marikana, you aren"t a nuisance when I"m together with you. I… I"m worried that I"m a nuisance…"
I"m surprised. I gazed at him with my mouth absentmindedly open. Calcilast-sama a nuisance? Me saying "There"s no way you"d be a nuisance!" resounded in the hallway at a grand volume.
Two, three doors opened in the hallway and the people from them looked at me. I said "Pardon me" bowing my head.
I apologized "I"m sorry for raising my voice, Calcilast-sama…" in a secretive voice. It was a breach of manners of a sheltered young lady…
I"m a hopeless person… Or should I say careless… Or rather a natural airhead… I fell into self-loathing. I"m incompetent… It"s disappointing.
Is there a place for a couple with such a difference in ability in this world? Surely there isn"t?
Thinking so, I became so sad I want to die. This feeling… How can I turn my thoughts around?
Will they persist for as long as I"m together with Calcilast-sama?
I wonder if I can endure… I properly understand that perseverance is crucial. Still, if I endure it I might be able to stay forever with Calcilast-sama. Even if it"s merely a possibility…
"Marikana? Did you enter the delusion mode once again? The world is not as serious as you believe…" with Calcilast-sama"s voice simulating my brain I returned.
There Calcilast-sama who"s like a beautiful doll was looking at me worriedly.
Spellbound as usual, I gazed absent-mindedly at Calcilast-sama. Ah, a beauty… I feel that such a pretty boy actually existing is a mystery.
I have the gaze of such a person all for myself… I shouldn"t wish for anything more. After all, I"m satisfied with the current situation. There"s nothing to be dissatisfied about…
However, I don"t have confidence my instability won"t be a burden to Calcilast-sama… Actually, I feel guilty… I…
I shook my head. To stop my thoughts from falling into a downward spiral. I can"t compare myself to Calcilast-sama… He"s perfect… I"m full of flaws… Ah, I"m thinking like that again…
I"m irritated by my own gloominess. It seems this irritation slipped past my mask.
I felt his gentle palm on my head and looked up. Calcilast-sama was smiling sweetly and said.
"Please don"t worry all by yourself… I might not be reliable, but at least I can listen? Well, I do know it"s your peculiarity to think alone…"
Being stroked, like a cat I narrowed my eyes from pleasure.
I realized my pulse sped up. Being touched by Calcilast-sama… It"s what I wish for, my feelings accelerated. More, touch me more…
It"s what I wish for… But is it okay if we get closer? Won"t Calcilast-sama leave my side disillusioned and dejected… Even if he whispers me words of love… I"m not confident…
After all, no matter what I do I won"t distinguish myself, only expose my incompetence to my surroundings… Sad reality… Calcilast-sama should have witnessed such a scene… And yet he unchangingly stayed by my side…
Is it Calcilast-sama"s love for me… Isn"t it an evidence that he really loves me… That may be a misunderstanding.
Does Calcilast-sama only laugh when he looks at the sorry me? His words and deeds might be only for show to play with me…
Something warm touched my hand. It was Calcilast-sama"s hand. It"s slender and white like wax. However, the heat from being touched naturally calmed me down.
He wrapped my hand with great care. With his hand that"s like a symbol of gentleness.
We joined our hands interlocking our fingers and walked step by step through the corridor. I wonder, will we walk through this corridor in the future… Won"t it end in ruin… Such words come to mind.
I asked Calcilast-sama while squeezing his hand. I want to know his true feelings… I want to know our future… Or it might be the future of me alone…
"Calcilast-sama, if I were to disappear――"
And Calcilast-sama interrupted my words. Irritation, or rather anger showed on his face. I wonder what"s wrong.
"Marikana, please never say something like that! I will not accept it! No matter what happens!"
I felt deep sorrow in Calcilast-sama"s expression and saw tiny tears well in his eyes. I wonder if he seriously thinks so. Ah, if possible I"d like to read Calcilast-sama"s heart.
If I could, I feel like my worries would go away. It would make everything clear. I apologized. While looking in Calcilast-sama"s eyes.
"I"m sorry. In spite of myself, I"m pessimistic… I hate it myself…"
With my words relief showed on his face. The tears from a while ago disappeared. I wonder whether they were my imagination…
I encouraged him to resume our date. Pulling his hand, we advanced. I felt somehow lively. However, I don"t know when the negative emotions will overpower me… But until then I want to keep being positive…
I want to see Calcilast-sama smile. My heart breaks into fierce waltz when a smile shows on his handsome face. You couldn"t think of it as a waltz…
Pa.s.sing by servants and soldiers, we arrived at the entrance. But, two, three, servants are rattling the door. What happened?
Calcilast-sama called out to them. Everyone who heard his voice felt a sense of security. I"m alternately looking at Calcilast-sama and the servants. Restlessly.
"The door broke, huh. Let"s use the repair spell. Just a moment please… Marikana, please also wait, okay?"
When he let go of my hand the joyous feeling vanished like it was a lie. It"s like a blackout curtain fell on a screen that made me feel delighted, obstructing it.
Calcilast-sama tampered with the door while muttering some kind of an incantation. I feel it should never be opened again. If it wasn"t, I could avoid the conviction event and stay at Calcilast-sama"s side for a long time…
I thought so, but Calcilast-sama"s magical hands of course easily repaired and opened the door.
I grasped Calcilast-sama"s hand tightly as if to swear to absolutely not let go after pa.s.sing through the door. Ah, I might have put in too much strength…
But, if I don"t do at least this much I"ll be crushed by anxiety that Calcilast-sama will fly far away like a migratory bird… I wonder if I"m overthinking… But, but, it may happen in reality.
I"m not mean, however I"m a villain… Just being an ordinary lady might be good, however staying together with Calcilast-sama would be the best…
But, the world is cruel. There are so many things that don"t turn out well. After all, a child dying of hunger would absolutely prefer to live, yet it"s beyond its powers.
I am alive, furthermore at Calcilast-sama"s side, I should appreciate that much. Is wishing for more not like picking a fight with G.o.d, unarmed…
Calcilast-sama bringing up "Aren"t those roses beautiful?" returned me to the reality. I"m surprised by the contrast between red and white roses in the flower bed. Undoubtedly the gardener brought them up to be beautiful. I replied "Yes"
Calcilast-sama and I headed towards the flower bed. There are many flowers there. Various flowers are swaying in the wind as if wanting to say "Good morning!" by bowing.
Ah, flowers calmed my heart. Perhaps that"s their virtue… They"re truly blooming beautifully. Even if they will someday wither, their desperation to live with the utmost effort is conveyed.
Even a beautiful flower doesn"t know when it will be picked. Even I don"t know when I"ll be convicted… Despite this, I feel a flower lives experiencing joy, unconcerned with such things.
And yet my mind repeats gloomy thoughts… It"s a world of difference… It"s sad and vexing, but I"m defeated by flowers… I feel like I am.
I asked while staring at Calcilast-sama. And unnaturally laughed.
"Does Calcilast-sama like flowers? Roses?"
Calcilast-sama sweetly smiled, and after considering something while looking at the empty sky for a moment spoke. A pleasant wind blew making the flowers dance.
"Yeah, my heart calms down when I look at them… Similar to when I look at Marikana…"
My cheeks turned pink at his statement.
How can Calcilast-sama say something like that… I"m embarra.s.sed… There"s no maiden whose heart wouldn"t flutter being told that with such a handsome face.
I took off my locked-on gaze off Calcilast-sama. He"s smiling sweetly with a gentle expression. Once again, I looked at the ground… He"s too handsome.
This is why pretty boys are unfair… You can"t look them in the eyes after being told sweet words… At times it makes me feel immature… At times it"s alright.
I wonder what"s difference between those two? It"s unclear to me… Do I like Calcilast-sama"s beautiful face? Or perhaps his very existence?
Calcilast-sama picked a red rose from the flower bed and presented it to me. "It"s a secret I picked it, okay? Otherwise I"ll be reprimanded… My mother cherishes them" said Calcilast-sama while scanning the surroundings.
Fortunately, there"s no one observing us. A little away, a luxuriously decorated horse carriage ran off. The horses pulled it obediently.
I wonder who"s in it? Was it a visitor? I observed the carriage for a while. However, urged by Calcilast-sama we joined hands and began walking. I"m reluctant to part with the colorful flower bed.
I gently put the rose in my bag.
My heart got lively. I can stay with the so, so, so lovely Calcilast-sama… I wonder if there will be more happy incidents?
Well, if I search… No, there won"t, right. With what happened, there shouldn"t be. I"m happy right now… I"m glad I was born. Mather, father… Thank you for bringing me to this word.
I"m so happy that it feels like I"m crying. No, I"m crying hard in my mind. It doesn"t seem to stop easily… It"s like a heavy rain during the rainy season. I will get drenched unless I open the umbrella in my heart.
A pair of soldiers are standing away ahead of us to not disturb us, one of them said. His voice is somehow nervous. He"s being a little strange.
"Calcilast-sama, Marikansama, do you wish for a guard to come with you? I"ve heard there are many hoodlums…"
Then Calcilast-sama coolly said "It"s alright, we"re going out together. I appreciate your consideration" after proper consideration.
I wonder if they were impressed by his words, one of the soldiers dropped the spear and a shrill of metal resounded. As we left, the two of them apologized.
We proceeded after leaving through the gate. Feeling light and merry. Just by walking with Calcilast-sama, my heart is bouncing, as if it was skipping. One, two, three…
The weather today is great. It feels as if G.o.d prepared it. Streaming sunlight comfortably illuminated our surroundings. I said "Calcilast-sama, a cat is basking in the sun over there!" in high spirits.
Calcilast-sama directed his gaze at it then showed an unrivaled, handsome smile and said.
"It really is. From its collar I guess it"s a pet cat. Ah, it turned over! He must truly feel good…"
Pulling Calcilast-sama I approached the white cat. I guess it must eat well to be so plump.
I talked to it "Kitty, kitty?" However, the cat was fast asleep.
Calcilast-sama crouched and stroked the cat"s head. It seems to feel good, it let out "funya funya" in its sleep.
Just what kind of dream is it having. Considering it looks pleased. It"s undoubtedly a happy dream…
I suddenly became anxious as if I were dreaming right now as well. It got darker as if a veil of darkness descended on my shining heart…
It got darker still, as if more and more curtains were being drawn… Negative thought circuit engaged…
We walked along the castle. Carefully, step by step. I"m trying to etch this moment into my memory.
It"s a precious, important time with Calcilast-sama. How long will it last? I wish it lasted for the eternity…
The cobblestone is toughened by its use. Hard. It seems like it teaches of the preciousness of life.
Calcilast-sama looked towards a sparrow chirping on a power line.
A sweet smile appeared on his face. It"s a beauty like a work of art. He said "Marikana, sparrows are cute. Look"
Such innocent things are hundreds of times cuter than me. His silky blond hair danced in the wind.
I looked up at Calcilast-sama sweetly smiling face. His surprise reflected on his face.
Calcilast-sama said "There is something cuter! But, it"s embarra.s.sing so I"ll keep it a secret"
What in the world I wonder? A heron flying away. Is that it? But embarra.s.sing? Hmm…
The wind feels good. It"s kind and cool. Or rather, I can feel its gentleness… "Achoo!" and I sneezed. Calcilast-sama is watching in wonder, he"s staring. So much a hole is being pierced. It"s like he"s seeing such a creature for the first time.
What should I do if he comes to dislike me… I wonder if he"ll say I won"t talk to you anymore?
I"m gradually starting to feel unwell. Vulgar things are obviously met with disgust… If possible, I would like Calcilast-sama to stay as he is to me.
I wonder if it"s impossible. I hung my head… Dropped my shoulders. There"s nothing I can do anymore. It"s a farewell. Parting…
His shoulder began trembling from laughter. Giggle. As if he was laughing at me. Dejection took over me.
From the corner of my eyes tears started to fall. Sad, sad tears… !
I was wrapped in something warm. Looking up, pale blue eyes were sweetly smiling. He said.
"Let"s warm up a little. Just a little…"
I also wrapped my arms around his back. Sparrows turned towards us and chirped… Soldiers pa.s.sed by pretending not to notice us.
Neither I nor Calcilast-sama will release our arms wrapping each other. Ah, happiness… I want to stop time…
I wonder if such a happy time will come again? Thinking so, a tsunami of anxiety surged swallowing the beach, it seems to have arrived in the town…
Calcilast-sama"s body smells warm and good. Or should I call it his fragrance… As I sniffed him, Calcilast-sama sniffled.
I wonder if he has a slight cold? Is his nose clogged? No way, for a perfect Calcilast-sama… There"s no way that"s the case.
Is he perhaps sobbing? Does something like hugging me fill him with disdain? After all I"m no good. I got conceited right away… I took the chance.
I"m the worst. I should separate my hands from him. I have to free him… But my hands don"t listen. As if refusing me… It seems like that.
It"s certainly scary. It seems like he"ll escape like a wild rabbit if I let him go…
I want to be at his side forever and ever… Even if I die as a result.
Calcilast-sama whispered "Marikana… Marikana…" while rubbing his handsome face on my hair.
My back shivered… I wonder if it"s the proof that I"m happy… or… something else…?
I called out "Calcilast-sama?" but there was no reaction. He couldn"t have fallen asleep…
I wonder if it"s okay to stay like this a while longer. Just a little longer… Just a little longer…
"Ara? I feel dizzy. It"s like seasickness. It"s strange… With no choice left, I entrusted my body to Calcilast-sama.
He said "Marikana…!" somehow delighted. He hugged me all the stronger. "Fumyu!" I let out a strange voice.
The inside of Calcilast-sama arms feels like a cradle. I"m getting drowsy little by little… No, no.
I"d be shocked if I did that. Even the threat of it was enough to be bad for my heart…
Calcilast-sama spoke. While gazing at me with moist eyes.
"Would it be better if we let go…? But, if possible… If possible, that is…"
"A bit longer… like this… until the heavens… take us…" I replied.
And once again I let out "Fumyu"
We"re still embracing each other. It would be a happy ending if we hugged like that forever, and yet…
I rubbed Calcilast-sama"s back. It"s surprisingly trained. Training is important.
I and Calcilast-sama might melt together, be cast into a mold and become one.
If that"s the case… Supposing that happens… The sun is smiling. It can be seen well on the side of Calcilast-sama"s head.
It"s as if it"s making fun of me. What an unpleasant hobby. I wonder if I"m thinking too much…
I"m curious how much time has pa.s.sed. A minute? Or an hour?
A day couldn"t have possibly pa.s.sed? It"s so wonderful being embraced by my beloved person…
Calcilast-sama muttered. While letting out a small sigh.
"How happy I am… this is… the best…"
The best… in what way? I want to know that. But, I"m afraid to ask. If it differs from my imagination… If there"s a difference…
I want to ask but I cannot ask… How vexing. Ah, vexing…
The number of sparrows decreased. Where have they flown away?
I only feel warmth. I"m savoring happiness. The end of my life span and my demise are coming step by step…
Nothing will continue forever… From the moment of birth towards the last scene, we"re advancing acceleratingly.
When I looked at Calcilast-sama, our gazed collided head-on. It had such a momentum a car would be wrecked.
After intently watching me with gentleness, he said. I"m still somehow anxious. Why is it.
"Ah, more, how long can we do this? Marikana… Have you ever contemplated what you wish from life?"
Wish? After all, Calcilast-sama is particularly important to me.
I tried to convey it saying "No, please forget it… I just decided my wish on my own…"
Instead of answering, I put more strength into my arms. It"s all I can do…
Calcilast-sama said "I"m so happy right now that I"m about to cry… Something like this might not happen again…"
I said "Let"s treasure this moment…"
I buried my face in Calcilast-sama"s chest and uttered.
"What is Calcilast-sama"s happiness? My is… my is… now…"
He spoke without paying attention to a carriage that pa.s.sed by us raising a cloud of dust.
"I cannot say… If I said it, I feel like I"d grow wings and fly away… But… I want to say it…"
I replied "Please don"t suffer… All because of my question…"
After glancing at the blue sky, Calcilast-sama spoke to me, with his mind seemingly elsewhere.
"Everything might be an illusion… It may be a mere dream… I wonder what the truth is… Every night I"m worried…"
I tilted my head at Calcilast-sama who was trembling like a frail fawn and spoke.
"Isn"t it better if it"s not an illusion? Is there a meaning to questioning something so trifling… It"s a foolish reply, don"t you think?"
Calcilast-sama started incessantly blinking and muttered "Such a thing is…"
I feel like I"m being sucked into Calcilast-sama"s pale blue eyes.
But, somehow that wouldn"t be so bad… If I could become a part of him…
Calcilast"s hands separated from me. I"m disappointed. I guess the fun time is over already…
Calcilast-sama told me earnestly. His voice was stiff.
"After all, once again… Just five minutes… That…"
I smiled and answered "Of course it"s fine. Calcilast-sama…"
Then I was enveloped by his strong body the second time. I feel like it"s somehow the same…
And in fives minutes we separated. My chest hurt from this painful feeling.
I asked "Will you embrace me again?"
Calcilast-sama looked at me blankly, then a handsome smile showed on his face. I wonder if there"s any subtext…