"But ours, Lucy, is a beautiful life, or it will be; and you shall share it."
"I shall share no man"s or woman"s life in this world, as you understand sharing. I think I have one friend of my own, but am not sure; and till I am sure, I live solitary."
"But solitude is sadness."
"Yes; it is sadness. Life, however; has worse than that. Deeper than melancholy, lies heart-break."
"Lucy, I wonder if anybody will ever comprehend you altogether."
There is, in lovers, a certain infatuation of egotism; they will have a witness of their happiness, cost that witness what it may. Paulina had forbidden letters, yet Dr. Bretton wrote; she had resolved against correspondence, yet she answered, were it only to chide. She showed me these letters; with something of the spoiled child"s wilfulness, and of the heiress"s imperiousness, she made me read them. As I read Graham"s, I scarce wondered at her exaction, and understood her pride: they were fine letters-manly and fond-modest and gallant. Hers must have appeared to him beautiful. They had not been written to show her talents; still less, I think, to express her love. On the contrary, it appeared that she had proposed to herself the task of hiding that feeling, and bridling her lover"s ardour. But how could such letters serve such a purpose? Graham was become dear as her life; he drew her like a powerful magnet. For her there was influence unspeakable in all he uttered, wrote, thought, or looked. With this unconfessed confession, her letters glowed; it kindled them, from greeting to adieu.
"I wish papa knew; I do wish papa knew!" began now to be her anxious murmur. "I wish, and yet I fear. I can hardly keep Graham back from telling him. There is nothing I long for more than to have this affair settled-to speak out candidly; and yet I dread the crisis. I know, I am certain, papa will be angry at the first; I fear he will dislike me almost; it will seem to him an untoward business; it will be a surprise, a shock: I can hardly foresee its whole effect on him."
The fact was-her father, long calm, was beginning to be a little stirred: long blind on one point, an importunate light was beginning to trespa.s.s on his eye.
To her, he said nothing; but when she was not looking at, or perhaps thinking of him, I saw him gaze and meditate on her.
One evening-Paulina was in her dressing-room, writing, I believe, to Graham; she had left me in the library, reading-M. de Ba.s.sompierre came in; he sat down: I was about to withdraw; he requested me to remain-gently, yet in a manner which showed he wished compliance. He had taken his seat near the window, at a distance from me; he opened a desk; he took from it what looked like a memorandum-book; of this book he studied a certain entry for several minutes.
"Miss Snowe," said he, laying it down, "do you know my little girl"s age?"
"About eighteen, is it not, sir?"
"It seems so. This old pocket-book tells me she was born on the 5th of May, in the year 18-, eighteen years ago. It is strange; I had lost the just reckoning of her age. I thought of her as twelve-fourteen-an indefinite date; but she seemed a child."
"She is about eighteen," I repeated. "She is grown up; she will be no taller."
"My little jewel!" said M. de Ba.s.sompierre, in a tone which penetrated like some of his daughter"s accents.
He sat very thoughtful.
"Sir, don"t grieve," I said; for I knew his feelings, utterly unspoken as they were.
"She is the only pearl I have," he said; "and now others will find out that she is pure and of price: they will covet her."
I made no answer. Graham Bretton had dined with us that day; he had shone both in converse and looks: I know not what pride of bloom embellished his aspect and mellowed his intercourse. Under the stimulus of a high hope, something had unfolded in his whole manner which compelled attention. I think he had purposed on that day to indicate the origin of his endeavours, and the aim of his ambition. M. de Ba.s.sompierre had found himself forced, in a manner, to descry the direction and catch the character of his homage. Slow in remarking, he was logical in reasoning: having once seized the thread, it had guided him through a long labyrinth.
"Where is she?" he asked.
"She is up-stairs."
"What is she doing?"
"She is writing."
"She writes, does she? Does she receive letters?"
"None but such as she can show me. And-sir-she-they have long wanted to consult you."
"Pshaw! They don"t think of me-an old father! I am in the way."
"Ah, M. de Ba.s.sompierre-not so-that can"t be! But Paulina must speak for herself: and Dr. Bretton, too, must be his own advocate."
"It is a little late. Matters are advanced, it seems."
"Sir, till you approve, nothing is done-only they love each other."
"Only!" he echoed.
Invested by fate with the part of confidante and mediator, I was obliged to go on: "Hundreds of times has Dr. Bretton been on the point of appealing to you, sir; but, with all his high courage, he fears you mortally."
"He may well-he may well fear me. He has touched the best thing I have. Had he but let her alone, she would have remained a child for years yet. So. Are they engaged?"
"They could not become engaged without your permission."
"It is well for you, Miss Snowe, to talk and think with that propriety which always characterizes you; but this matter is a grief to me; my little girl was all I had: I have no more daughters and no son; Bretton might as well have looked elsewhere; there are scores of rich and pretty women who would not, I daresay, dislike him: he has looks, and conduct, and connection. Would nothing serve him but my Polly?"
"If he had never seen your "Polly," others might and would have pleased him-your niece, Miss Fanshawe, for instance."
"Ah! I would have given him Ginevra with all my heart; but Polly!-I can"t let him have her. No-I can"t. He is not her equal," he affirmed, rather gruffly. "In what particular is he her match? They talk of fortune! I am not an avaricious or interested man, but the world thinks of these things-and Polly will be rich."
"Yes, that is known," said I: "all Villette knows her as an heiress."
"Do they talk of my little girl in that light?"
"They do, sir."
He fell into deep thought. I ventured to say, "Would you, sir, think any one Paulina"s match? Would you prefer any other to Dr. Bretton? Do you think higher rank or more wealth would make much difference in your feelings towards a future son-in-law?"
"You touch me there," said he.
"Look at the aristocracy of Villette-you would not like them, sir?"
"I should not-never a duc, baron, or vicomte of the lot."
"I am told many of these persons think about her, sir," I went on, gaining courage on finding that I met attention rather than repulse. "Other suitors will come, therefore, if Dr. Bretton is refused. Wherever you go, I suppose, aspirants will not be wanting. Independent of heiress-ship, it appears to me that Paulina charms most of those who see her."
"Does she? How? My little girl is not thought a beauty."
"Sir, Miss de Ba.s.sompierre is very beautiful."
"Nonsense!-begging your pardon, Miss Snowe, but I think you are too partial. I like Polly: I like all her ways and all her looks-but then I am her father; and even I never thought about beauty. She is amusing, fairy-like, interesting to me;-you must be mistaken in supposing her handsome?"
"She attracts, sir: she would attract without the advantages of your wealth and position."
"My wealth and position! Are these any bait to Graham? If I thought so--"
"Dr. Bretton knows these points perfectly, as you may be sure, M. de Ba.s.sompierre, and values them as any gentleman would-as you would yourself, under the same circ.u.mstances-but they are not his baits. He loves your daughter very much; he feels her finest qualities, and they influence him worthily."