"Beaton, I have done you a serious injustice; how serious I did not realise until now--that I see you. I am more--more ashamed than I can tell you; to ask your pardon is to do nothing. Can you ever forgive me?
I shall never be able to forgive myself; my punishment will be as great as yours."
Then Beaton spoke.
"Reith, I hope not; you don"t know what my punishment has been."
"Looking at you, I can guess."
"I suppose you can; I believe it"s printed pretty plain."
There came a chorus from the others--all asking for pardon.
"We didn"t understand each other, that was what it was," said Beaton.
"You never could have done what you did if we had. Yet I"m not sure that the lesson I"ve been taught wasn"t worth learning even at the price I paid. I"m not the man you knew. I can see by the look that"s on your faces that you"ve found that out for yourselves. I shall never be that man again; but don"t take to yourselves any blame for that. I wouldn"t, if I could."
"Will you also forgive me, Beaton? I admit that I, too, may have been mistaken."
This was Anthony Dodwell; there was something in the eyes which looked at him out of their hollow caverns which seemed to make him shrivel up.
"In your case it"s not a question of forgiveness. You see, Dodwell, I know you. Since I was last in this room I"ve been in some strange company; I"ve met one or two men like you, and I haven"t liked them. I know how you treated me; I saw how you treated Draycott that night at Avonham; you would treat me, and Draycott, exactly the same again tomorrow--if you had the chance. You can"t like the man whom you know is that kind of person; you avoid him, if you can; you are on your guard against him, if you can"t. If you are even superficially sorry for what you did to me you will take care that I never see or hear of you again. I am afraid that"s as far as I"m prepared to go."
"And that"s quite far enough. Now, Dodwell, you have our unanimous permission to do what you were so anxious to do at first--go."
Frank Clifford held the door wide open, with a significance it was impossible for the other to misunderstand. Anthony Dodwell showed how plainly he did understand by marching through it without a word.
Miss Forster had drawn back as Beaton entered the room, so that she had been behind him, where she had stayed. Now she came forward and touched him on the arm.
"Sydney!"
He was silent; he did not even p.r.o.nounce her name; he took the hand which she offered, and bowed his head before her. Frank Clifford said:
"Miss Forster, I trust that I am neither presumptuous nor impertinent in suggesting that I think it possible that you are not over-anxious to stay with us much longer; if that is the case--I don"t know how to put it, but--if you"d like to take Beaton with you, you can."
CHAPTER x.x.xII
In the Taxicab
They were alone together in the taxicab, the one which had been waiting. Draycott had been left behind. There had been a brief discussion as to the address to which the man was to be told to drive.
"Where are we going?" she had asked him.
"You are perfectly well aware," he had told her in the grave tones which had seemed to have become habitual, "that I"m not a fit person for you to consort with. Let us say to each other all that there is to be said here; it shouldn"t take very long, there is so little to be said; then let us part company--for ever."
"That is your opinion, is it? It"s very nice of you to express it.
Where are you living?"
"In a road near Clapham Junction--Lavender Sweep; a name which suggests possibilities--which don"t go any farther than the name. It"s a street of little houses."
"What is your number?"
"A hundred and ninety-seven."
She spoke to the cabman.
"Drive us to 197 Lavender Sweep, Clapham Junction." Then to Beaton: "Will you open the door for me?"
She entered. He spoke to her still standing on the pavement.
"You know you ought not to go there; it"s not the sort of place to which you"re accustomed."
"Then the sooner I become accustomed the better. Will you please get in?"
He got in; the cab started; as it has been written, they were alone in the cab together. Their conversation, especially at the beginning, was of a distinctly singular sort; as a matter of fact, she was enjoying herself immensely. It was many a day since she had even supposed it possible that she could enjoy herself so much.
"You don"t seem to be particularly glad to see me."
"What right have I to be glad?"
"That"s it--what right have you? That"s a particularly sensible inquiry, which makes it the more awkward--for me--that I should be rather glad to see you. I imagine that these things are an affair of temperament."
"You are laughing at me."
"I don"t know what else to do, since you certainly aren"t laughing at me. You might be an owl for gravity. You sit screwed up there in your corner as if you were afraid you might be infected with something if you came within a quarter of a mile of me."
"Put it the other way. I don"t wish to carry infection to you."
"Don"t you? How nice! What sort of infection do you think you"d carry?
I"d like, if I did ask you to come nearer, to know the risk I"d run."
"You know the kind of creature I am."
"The ignorance is on your side; you don"t know the kind of creature I am. Do you know this is the very first time you and I have been alone together in a taxicab?" He was silent. A sound came from her which might have been a laugh. "You"re full of conversation."
"I am so oppressed by the hideous consciousness of being in a false position."
"Are you? We"ll talk about all that kind of thing when we get to 197 Lavender Sweep."
"You don"t know what kind of place it is I live in."
"I soon shall."
"What would your uncle say if he knew you were coming alone with me to my wretched rooms?"
"My uncle and I are two; he lives at Nuthurst, and I live in town. I also have what you call wretched rooms--of my own. I would have asked the man to drive us there, only I thought I would prefer to go to yours, and I should; and I"m going. Is anything very terrible about your wretched rooms?"