he said at last, "you must take great care of her, because... if...
anything... were to happen, you would be very much to blame. Goodbye."
He went out, while Nejdanov stood still for a time in the middle of the room, and muttering, "Oh dear! It"s better not to think!" threw himself face downwards on the bed.
When Mariana returned to her room she found a note on the table containing the following:
"I am sorry for you. You are ruining yourself. Think what you are doing.
Into what abysses are you throwing yourself with your eyes shut. For whom and for what?--V."
There was a peculiarly fine fresh scent in the room; evidently Valentina Mihailovna had only just left it. Mariana took a pen and wrote underneath: "You need not be sorry for me. G.o.d knows which of us two is more in need of pity. I only know that I wouldn"t like to be in your place for worlds.--M." She put the note on the table, not doubting that it would fall into Valentina Mihailovna"s hand.
On the following morning, Solomin, after seeing Nejdanov and definitely declining to undertake the management of Sipiagin"s factory, set out for home. He mused all the way home, a thing that rarely occurred with him; the motion of the carriage usually had a drowsy effect on him. He thought of Mariana and of Nejdanov; it seemed to him that if he had been in love--he, Solomin--he would have had quite a different air, would have looked and spoken differently. "But," he thought, "such a thing has never happened to me, so I can"t tell what sort of an air I would have."
He recalled an Irish girl whom he had once seen in a shop behind a counter; recalled her wonderful black hair, blue eyes, and thick lashes, and how she had looked at him with a sad, wistful expression, and how he had paced up and down the street before her window for a long time, how excited he had been, and had kept asking himself if he should try and get to know her. He was in London at the time, where he had been sent by his employer with a sum of money to make various purchases. He very nearly decided to remain in London and send back the money, so strong was the impression produced on him by the beautiful Polly. (He had got to know her name, one of the other girls had called her by it.) He had mastered himself, however, and went back to his employer. Polly was more beautiful than Mariana, but Mariana had the same sad, wistful expression in her eyes... and Mariana was a Russian.
"But what am I doing?" Solomin exclaimed in an undertone, "bothering about other men"s brides!" and he shook back the collar of his coat, as if he wanted to shake off all superfluous thoughts. Just then he drove up to the factory and caught sight of the faithful Pavel in the doorway of his little dwelling.
XXVI
SOLOMIN"S refusal greatly offended Sipiagin; so much so, that he suddenly found that this home-bred Stevenson was not such a wonderful engineer after all, and that though he was not perhaps a complete poser, yet gave himself airs like the plebeian he was. "All these Russians when they imagine they know a thing become insufferable! Au fond Kollomietzev was right!" Under the influence of such hostile and irritable sensations, the statesman--en herbe--was even more unsympathetic and distant in his intercourse with Nejdanov. He told Kolia that he need not take lessons that day and that he must try to be more independent in future. He did not, however, dismiss the tutor himself as the latter had expected, but continued to ignore him. But Valentina Mihailovna did not ignore Mariana. A dreadful scene took place between them.
About two hours before dinner they suddenly found themselves alone in the drawing-room. They both felt that the inevitable moment for the battle had arrived and, after a moment"s hesitation, instinctively drew near to one another. Valentina Mihailovna was slightly smiling, Mariana pressed her lips firmly together; both were pale. When walking across the room, Valentina Mihailovna looked uneasily to the right and left and tore off a geranium leaf. Mariana"s eyes were fixed straight on the smiling face coming towards her. Madame Sipiagina was the first to stop, and drumming her finger-tips on the back of a chair began in a free and easy tone:
"Mariana Vikentievna, it seems that we have entered upon a correspondence with one another... Living under the same roof as we do it strikes me as being rather strange. And you know I am not very fond of strange things."
"I did not begin the correspondence, Valentina Mihailovna."
"That is true. As it happens, I am to blame in that. Only I could not think of any other means of arousing in you a feeling... how shall I say? A feeling--"
"You can speak quite plainly, Valentina Mihailovna. You need not be afraid of offending me."
"A feeling... of propriety."
Valentina Mihailovna ceased; nothing but the drumming of her fingers could be heard in the room.
"In what way do you think I have failed to observe the rules of propriety?" Mariana asked.
Valentina Mihailovna shrugged her shoulders.
"Ma chere, vous n"etes plus un enfant--I think you know what I mean. Do you suppose that your behaviour could have remained a secret to me, to Anna Zaharovna, to the whole household in fact? However, I must say you are not over-particular about secrecy. You simply acted in bravado. Only Boris Andraevitch does not know what you have done... But he is occupied with far more serious and important matters. Apart from him, everybody else knows, everybody!"
Mariana"s pallor increased.
"I must ask you to express yourself more clearly, Valentina Mihailovna.
What is it you are displeased about?"
"L"insolente!" Madame Sipiagina thought, but contained herself.
"Do you want to know why I am displeased with you, Mariana? Then I must tell you that I disapprove of your prolonged interviews with a young man who is very much beneath you in birth, breeding, and social position.
I am displeased... no! this word is far too mild--I am shocked at your late... your night visits to this young man! And where does it happen?
Under my own roof! Perhaps you see nothing wrong in it and think that it has nothing to do with me, that I should be silent and thereby screen your disgraceful conduct. As an honourable woman... oui, mademoiselle, je l"ai ete, je le suis, et je le serai tu"jours! I can"t help being horrified at such proceedings!"
Valentina Mihailovna threw herself into an armchair as if overcome by her indignation. Mariana smiled for the first time.
"I do not doubt your honour--past, present, and to come," she began; "and I mean this quite sincerely. Your indignation is needless. I have brought no shame on your house. The young man whom you alluded to...
yes, I have certainly... fallen in love with him."
"You love Mr. Nejdanov?"
"Yes, I love him."
Valentina Mihailovna sat up straight in her chair.
"But, Mariana! he"s only a student, of no birth, no family, and he is younger than you are!" (These words were p.r.o.nounced not without a certain spiteful pleasure.) "What earthly good can come of it? What do you see in him? He is only an empty-headed boy."
"That was not always your opinion of him, Valentina Mihailovna."
"For heaven"s sake leave me out of the question, my dear!... Pas tant d"esprit que ca, je vous prie. The thing concerns you and your future.
Just consider for a moment. What sort of a match is this for you?"
"I must confess, Valentina Mihailovna, that I did not look at it in that light."
"What? What did you say? What am I to think? Let us a.s.sume that you followed the dictates of your heart, but then it must end in marriage sometime or other."
"I don"t know... I had not thought of that."
"You had not thought of that? You must be mad!"
Mariana turned away.
"Let us make an end of this conversation, Valentina Mihailovna. It won"t lead to anything. In any case we won"t understand each other."
Valentina Mihailovna started up.
"I can"t, I won"t put an end to this conversation! It"s far too serious... I am responsible for you before..."
Valentina Mihailovna was going to say G.o.d, but hesitated and added, "before the whole world! I can"t be silent when I hear such utter madness! And why can"t I understand you, pray? What insufferable pride these young people have nowadays! On the contrary, I understand you only too well... I can see that you are infected with these new ideas, which will only be your ruin. It will be too late to turn back then."
"Maybe; but believe me, even if we perish, we will not so much as stretch out a finger that you might save us!"
"Pride again! This awful pride! But listen, Mariana, listen to me," she added, suddenly changing her tone. She wanted to draw Mariana nearer to herself, but the latter stepped back a pace. "Ecoutez-moi, je vous en conjure! After all, I am not so old nor so stupid that it should be impossible for us to understand each other! Je ne suis pas une encroutee. I was even considered a republican as a girl.. no less than you. Listen, I won"t pretend that I ever had any motherly feeling towards you... and it is not in your nature to complain of that... But I always felt, and feel now, that I owed certain duties towards you, and I have always endeavoured to fulfil them. Perhaps the match I had in my mind for you, for which both Boris Andraevitch and I would have been ready to make any sacrifice... may not have been fully in accordance with your ideas... but in the bottom of my heart--"
Mariana looked at Valentina Mihailovna, at her wonderful eyes, her slightly painted lips, at her white hands, the parted fingers adorned with rings, which the elegant lady so energetically pressed against the bodice of her silk dress.
Suddenly she interrupted her.