He stood up and threw his hands out pa.s.sionately ere covering his face with them; and the action, utterly un-English as it was, suited him better than his previous calm.
"It--it"s a lie to begin with," he cried hoa.r.s.ely. "And even if it weren"t--I wont have it said--it--it makes me lose myself."
She drew back a bit and looked at him. "You"ve done that already, Chris, and so"ve I," she said calmly. "Now don"t interrupt, please; I"ve been fizzling for this talk the last month, for we shall rub along together so much better when we thoroughly understand each other. So, I"m not going to pretend any more, Chris! It doesn"t work. I tried it at first because--well! because you mean well, and I like to make things comfy while I can. But I"m sick of Shark Lane. Some of the men wouldn"t be bad, if they weren"t so awfully high-toned--that"s what"s the matter with you, Chris!--but the women beat me. I went to see that little fool Hafiz Ahmad"s wife yesterday, because I"m a good-natured fool myself and she said she was dull, and you asked me; and as I say, I like things comfy. Well! she wanted me to play old maid, and the cards were--oh! filthy! That finished me. Of course it was only a trifle, but it did the trick. I"ve chucked. I won"t play the game any more, Chris. I am going my own way; and if you want to see Shark Lane here, I shall be somewhere else. You needn"t bother or fuss. I can take care of myself perfectly--I went about London a lot, you know. Besides, doesn"t it stand to reason that I"m a better judge of what an English lady can do than you are? Why! I might as well try and teach you the etiquette of those disgusting temples where your precious stay-at-home women worship in--in the _altogether_!" She giggled modestly, and then, seeing his face, gave him a final pat. "Cheer up, Chris! I"m sure you could marry one--a cousin or something--if you tried."
He interrupted her with a listless, nerveless dignity. "You seem to think it all pretence, but I couldn"t go back to the old ways; this--this has meant more to me, than that----" his lips quivered as if with coming tears, he had to pull himself together visibly. "For the rest," he went on drearily, "I am not quite so ignorant as you deem me.
One reads of--of this sort of situation, and I can shape my course as other men have shaped theirs; only--only do not try my patience too far."
He meant the last in all seriousness, but neither the thought nor the words were his own; and the pathos of this despairing clutch on book-knowledge being, of course, lost on her commonplace vulgarity, she laughed once more.
"Why, Chris! you"ve got that as pat as pat! quite the injured hub in domestic drama. Goody me! to think I might be going down still on the top of the dear old red "bus to the mouth of the pit on a first night!
Well, that"s over, so we must just both be as chirpy as we can.
Goodbye, Chris! I"ve got to dress, for Lucanaster "s coming for me in half an hour. And don"t expect me till you see me. They did talk of tents out, a dance, and a regular night of it. You really needn"t fuss, Chris; you _can"t_ understand, you see."
When she had gone, he sate staring helplessly at the boiled egg, as if he expected something to hatch out of it. Even thought forsook him, for the first to come was that this woman was his wife. Wife! the word conjured up such a different idea in the hereditary experience which inevitably underlay all things in him, that he could go no further in bewilderment.
So, in the effort to escape from the thraldom of the old wisdom, which such as he have to make so often, he took up the newspaper which lay beside him, telling himself pa.s.sionately that the old order had changed, that life held more than his fathers had dreamt of. Yet even as he told himself this, the burden of doubt which such as he have to bear came upon him, a sense of unreality, even in himself, closed round him.
Unreal! Unreal! Unreal!
The word typed itself on the columns of the _Voice of India_ as he read them. The paper was the recognised organ of his cla.s.s, the exponent of its desires, its beliefs. Yet here even that word pursued him. Here on the first page was a leader stigmatising the temporary withdrawal of independent powers from the Munic.i.p.al Committee as an unwarrantable piece of tyranny. Unwarrantable! Was it possible for any sane man to call it so, knowing, as all knew, the grievous tale of neglect and wrongdoing in that Committee? Was it possible, even apart from that, for any wise man not to see that with plague clamouring for an entrance, the good of the many claimed a more energetic sanitary reform than the Committee seemed able or willing to introduce?
And as for the hints thrown out that the newly-published plague regulations were but a sop, a blind, hiding a very different policy; what then? Was it possible for any government to do more than legislate for the _present_? Who but fools imagined that it could or would bind itself to definite action in conditions which could only be guessed at?
So the tale of unreality went on. Here was a well-written, well-reasoned article on the cow-killing grievance; but Chris, being a wielder of the pen himself, happened to know the writer, and could remember seeing him eating beefsteaks at the Temple dinners.
Again, in a paragraph headed "Government Greed and Peasant Poverty."
Could any detail overcome the indubitable fact that India had the cheapest civilised government in the world?
He ran his eye down another column, and caught the phrase "social progress" above a signature which he knew to be that of a man who had just married a child of ten.
And what was this? "_The Government to which is opposed the entire intelligence of the nation!_" Brave words these, when the proportion between such intelligence and the general ignorance was withheld! What was it? Ten thousand to one!
"_The political training of the ma.s.s of the people is still, it is true, somewhat incomplete_." It might well be that when the percentage of mere literates was almost negligible.
"_Even the Mohammedan policy was better than the English one. True, it did not allow freedom of the press_...."
Ye G.o.ds! Freedom of the press when there was not a newspaper in all the length and breadth of the land! Could unreality, bunk.u.m, call it what you will, go further than that?
Chris pushed himself back from the table, back from the boiled egg, back from the newspaper, back, so far as he could, from himself, with an odd sound between a laugh, a sob, and a curse.
Was that all? Was that sort of ungenerous, unreliable, almost unimaginable drivel the only indictment which such as he had to bring against those who had depolarised life? Who had neither given India a creed, nor taken one away? Was that the only arraignment for the tyranny of pain such as his?
No! a thousand times no! There was more to be said than that!
So to him came the fatal facility for words which is the betrayal of his race. He sate down to write, and, heedless of the sound of dogcart wheels and a man"s and a woman"s laughter which came after a time, did not rise until he stood up with sheets on sheets of scarce-dried ma.n.u.script in his hand, feeling for the first time in his intellectual life that he was alone. Hitherto he had always followed the thoughts of the great masters. Hitherto there had always been some one on the road before him. Now the question, a burning one to his enthusiasm, was--"Would any one come after him?"
Hafiz Ahmad"s house, the rallying-point of young India in Nushapore, lay close by. It was a court-holiday, and therefore the chances were great that some meeting or another was being held; since meetings are a recognised holiday amus.e.m.e.nt with those who, amid all the unreality of their lives, are still terribly in earnest.
He would go there and seek an audience.
On his way out, however, he saw Jack Raymond riding up the drive. Jack Raymond, one of the few Englishmen he could count on to be kind, yet who, despite that, had never called on his wife. Was he going to do so now? As a matter of fact, Jack Raymond had had no such intention; he had come over to ask Chris himself about a post which was vacant, and which might keep John Ellison, loafer, out of more mischief; but seeing Chris coming towards him with a pleased expectant look on his somewhat pathetic face, a half-irritated pity made him ask if Mrs. Davenant was at home.
"I"m sorry she has gone out with Lucanaster," he repeated, unaware of the emphasis he laid on the qualification till he saw poor Chris flinch, when he said hurriedly, "but I"ll come in if I may. I"ve a question or two I want to ask."
Whereupon Chris, who, despite his five years of England and his wife"s incessant instructions, had never been able to grasp that exclusive use of certain rooms to certain uses, took Jack Raymond straight into the dining-room, where, amongst the litter of an unfinished breakfast, a note, on which quite inadvertently the visitor set his riding-whip, lay face uppermost.
That "Dearest Jenny," therefore, stared Jack Raymond in the face all the time he was settling that John Ellison should go for a week"s trial as foreman on the new goods station which Chris was building. He knew the writing, and had, what poor Chris had not, a fixed standard of inherited and acquired experience by which to judge the writer. And so a curious mixture of pity and repugnance came to the Englishman as he looked at the face opposite him--the gentle face so full of intelligence, so devoid of character--and thought of that other coa.r.s.er, commoner one. It was a question of the two men only; the woman, dismissed briefly as a bad sort, counted for nothing in Jack Raymond"s mind.
Yet if Lucanaster had been an Englishman, it is ten to one that Jack Raymond would not have said abruptly, as he did say when he rose to take up his riding-whip, "If I were you, Davenant, I wouldn"t let my wife be seen with that man Lucanaster. Of course you can"t be expected to--to know--but he"s an awful sweep!" As he spoke, his knowledge of himself made him clutch his whip tightly; but Chris only stood silent for a moment with a wild appeal in his soft eyes. Then he tried to speak; finally he sate down again, and buried his face in his hands.
The straining of the long brown fingers, tense in their effort to keep back tears, the long-drawn breath trying to keep back sobs, made Jack Raymond"s pity fly before impatient contempt.
"I"m sorry. It"s evidently worse than I thought," he said; "but that sort of thing isn"t a bit of good, Davenant. Put your foot down. Say you won"t have it."
Chris Davenant"s face came up from his hands with the dignity of absolute despair. "How can I? Didn"t even _you_ say just now I couldn"t be expected to understand? She says it too. And I"ve no answer. How can I have one when there is no place for me--or for her? That is it. If she had friends--if there was any one to care--any one even to be angry; but there is no one."
His head went into his hands again, and the pity born of clearer comprehension came back to the Englishman, like the dove of old, with widespread white wings. And like the dove of old, it brought a suggestion of calmer days to come with it.
"I hadn"t thought of it that way," he said slowly; "but I see your point. A lead over keeps many a horse between the flags. And I"ll get one for your wife if I can. Lady Arbuthnot is an old friend of mine,"--he was faintly surprised at himself for this remark, which came quite naturally--"and I"m sure she will send an invitation to the Government House garden-party. Then there"s the fete and the Service ball. It may seem a queer cure to you----"
"Everything is queer," admitted Chris, trying to be cheerful. "But I know she felt not being asked--I remember her saying----" He broke off; for the remark had been, briefly, that it was no use considering the proprieties if the proprieties didn"t consider you.
"Well! that"s settled. She"ll find the invitations when she comes back; then there"ll be the dresses, you know, and all that."
Chris shook his head. "I am not sure if I do. It is all new. But it is more than kind of you. If I could do anything for you in return----"
The unreserved grat.i.tude in his face was sufficiently womanish not to rouse the English distaste to all expression of emotion, though, even so, Jack Raymond put it aside jestingly.
"Thank Lady Arbuthnot, my dear fellow; she"--he paused, a remembrance coming to him--"By the way--you"re in, I know, with all the _Voice of India_ scribblers--write for it yourself, don"t you? Well, what is the meaning of those hints about the plague policy? What have they got hold of? anything definite?"
"So far as I know, nothing," began Chris. "It is, I fear, a regrettable fact that there is seldom good foundation----"
Jack Raymond, reins in hand, swung himself into his saddle lightly.
"Yes, thank G.o.d! Well! if you should hear of anything, or if you should have a chance of--say, burking anything likely to upset the apple-cart--the times are a trifle ticklish in the city--take your grat.i.tude to me, or rather to Lady Arbuthnot, out in that."
Chris flushed up. "Surely," he began volubly, "it is the bounden duty, as I have just been writing, of the educated portion of the community to leave themselves free for reasonable criticism by supporting Government, wherever possible, by throwing heart and soul----" The Englishman, holding his impatient mount in a grip of iron, looked down with a bored expression.
"No doubt--no doubt; but the body fills a gap better on the whole.
Good-bye. I"ll see to the invites, and you can drop me a line if you hear anything definite."
CHAPTER VI
THE MONEY OF FOOLS