Volpone Or the Fox

Chapter 21

LADY P: Ay, he plays both with me.

I pray you, stay. This heat will do more harm To my complexion, than his heart is worth; (I do not care to hinder, but to take him.) [RUBBING HER CHEEKS.]

How it comes off!

1 WOM: My master"s yonder.

LADY P: Where?



1 WOM: With a young gentleman.

LADY P: That same"s the party; In man"s apparel! "Pray you, sir, jog my knight: I"ll be tender to his reputation, However he demerit.

SIR P [SEEING HER]: My lady!

PER: Where?

SIR P: "Tis she indeed, sir; you shall know her. She is, Were she not mine, a lady of that merit, For fashion and behaviour; and, for beauty I durst compare-

PER: It seems you are not jealous, That dare commend her.

SIR P: Nay, and for discourse-

PER: Being your wife, she cannot miss that.

SIR P [INTRODUCING PER.]: Madam, Here is a gentleman, pray you, use him fairly; He seems a youth, but he is-

LADY P: None.

SIR P: Yes, one Has put his face as soon into the world-

LADY P: You mean, as early? but to-day?

SIR P: How"s this?

LADY P: Why, in this habit, sir; you apprehend me:- Well, master Would-be, this doth not become you; I had thought the odour, sir, of your good name, Had been more precious to you; that you would not Have done this dire ma.s.sacre on your honour; One of your gravity and rank besides!

But knights, I see, care little for the oath They make to ladies; chiefly, their own ladies.

SIR P: Now by my spurs, the symbol of my knighthood,-

PER [ASIDE.]: Lord, how his brain is humbled for an oath!

SIR P: I reach you not.

LADY P: Right, sir, your policy May bear it through, thus.

[TO PER.]

sir, a word with you.

I would be loth to contest publicly With any gentlewoman, or to seem Froward, or violent, as the courtier says; It comes too near rusticity in a lady, Which I would shun by all means: and however I may deserve from master Would-be, yet T"have one fair gentlewoman thus be made The unkind instrument to wrong another, And one she knows not, ay, and to persever; In my poor judgment, is not warranted From being a solecism in our s.e.x, If not in manners.

PER: How is this!

SIR P: Sweet madam, Come nearer to your aim.

LADY P: Marry, and will, sir.

Since you provoke me with your impudence, And laughter of your light land-syren here, Your Sporus, your hermaphrodite-

PER: What"s here?

Poetic fury, and historic storms?

SIR P: The gentleman, believe it, is of worth, And of our nation.

LADY P: Ay, your White-friars nation.

Come, I blush for you, master Would-be, I; And am asham"d you should have no more forehead, Than thus to be the patron, or St. George, To a lewd harlot, a base fricatrice, A female devil, in a male outside.

SIR P: Nay, And you be such a one, I must bid adieu To your delights. The case appears too liquid.

[EXIT.]

LADY P: Ay, you may carry"t clear, with your state-face!- But for your carnival concupiscence, Who here is fled for liberty of conscience, From furious persecution of the marshal, Her will I dis"ple.

PER: This is fine, i"faith!

And do you use this often? Is this part Of your wit"s exercise, "gainst you have occasion?

Madam-

LADY P: Go to, sir.

PER: Do you hear me, lady?

Why, if your knight have set you to beg shirts, Or to invite me home, you might have done it A nearer way, by far:

LADY P: This cannot work you Out of my snare.

PER: Why, am I in it, then?

Indeed your husband told me you were fair, And so you are; only your nose inclines, That side that"s next the sun, to the queen-apple.

LADY P: This cannot be endur"d by any patience.

[ENTER MOSCA.]

MOS: What is the matter, madam?

LADY P: If the Senate Right not my quest in this; I"ll protest them To all the world, no aristocracy.

MOS: What is the injury, lady?

LADY P: Why, the callet You told me of, here I have ta"en disguised.

MOS: Who? this! what means your ladyship? the creature I mention"d to you is apprehended now, Before the senate; you shall see her-

LADY P: Where?

MOS: I"ll bring you to her. This young gentleman, I saw him land this morning at the port.

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