He shrugged.
"Eli?"
"We had s.e.x," he said, as if I hadn"t been with him for what had been, to that point, the best experience of my life. "I mean we didn"t, you know"-he arched his eyebrows meaningfully-"but that was still s.e.x." He paused and furrowed his brow. "Right?"
"Definitely." I hunched down and kissed him. "You know what I usually like to do after I have s.e.x with you at night?"
"Uh, this is the first time you"ve had s.e.x with me at night," he pointed out. "Or anytime."
"I meant in my head." I tapped the side of my head, waggled my eyebrows, and grinned.
His mouth dropped open. "You beat off to fantasies of us together?"
"Oh, yeah." I kissed my way across his jaw to his ear. "Imagining it doesn"t feel as good as doing the real thing with you, but it still wears me out." I sucked on his earlobe. "Most nights I"m so wound up thinking about you, I can"t go to sleep unless I jerk off first."
He parted his lips, as if to say something, closed them, then drew in a deep breath and tried again. "I"ve never heard you talk like this," he said.
I would have told him that was because he"d never been in bed with me, but that wouldn"t have been true. "That"s because I never have."
"I seriously can"t believe this is happening," he said. "It"s surreal. I feel like... like...."
"Like what, baby?" I gently stroked his face. "What do you feel?"
"It feels like this is a dream, like it isn"t really you."
"It"s me," I a.s.sured him.
"No." He shook his head. "You don"t touch me and kiss me and call me "baby" and look at me like... like...." He was trembling again.
"This is me. It"s just"-I thought about how to explain myself-"another side of me."
"Another side of you?" he asked suspiciously. "I"ve known you all these years and suddenly there"s another side of you?"
I shrugged and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Hey, it"s new to me too."
That suspicious look came back. "It"s new to you?"
I nodded wearily.
"You mean it"s an experiment, like with Caleb"s friend. You"re-"
"No!" I snapped. "This is nothing like what happened with that guy in New York. He was hung up on someone. I was hung up on you. We spent most of the night talking about that and, yes, we necked some, but-"
Eli started laughing.
I rolled off him and laid back down on top of the comforter, deciding warm snuggles weren"t quite in reach. "Why are you laughing?" I asked tiredly.
"You said "necked."" He snorted. "Who says "necked"? That"s such an old-man word."
He"d gone from aroused to confused to angry to amused, all in what felt like a matter of seconds. "Your emotions are all over the place," I mumbled, not realizing that was the wrong thing to say until it was too late.
He flew out of bed, threw his hands in the air, and yelled, "All over the place? You think my emotions are all over the place?"
Not only did I think that, but he was demonstrating my point right at that moment.
"Uh," I said, not wanting to make the same mistake again. I sat up and tried to come up with a nonanger-evoking response. "I, uh-"
"The guy I"ve always wanted but never thought I could have is suddenly saying and doing all the things he said he"d never say or do. I"m sorry if my needing a minute to readjust my entire world order is coming across as emotional and all over the place!"
d.a.m.n, he was cute. It was the first thought that entered my mind and one I normally would have kept to myself. But not anymore.
"You"re adorable, Eli, you know that?"
"Oh, so, now I"m adorable!"
"You"ve always been adorable." I held my hand out to him, palm side up. "Come back to bed."
"What in the h.e.l.l is happening here?" He dragged his fingers through his hair and started pacing. "You"re gay all of a sudden, is that it? You just decided at age thirty-three that you"re going to be gay?"
"I"m pretty sure it doesn"t work that way," I said reasonably.
He narrowed his eyes dangerously. "I know that! Don"t you think I know that?"
Okay, so humor wasn"t the right approach to soothing his feathers. I decided to go with facts.
"I"m not gay. I"m bi. It isn"t something I just decided, but it did take me a while to figure it out."
"You"re bi?"
I nodded.
"Seriously?"
I nodded again.
"I didn"t think that was a real thing."
I sighed in frustration. "You were in an LGBT club all through college, Eli, and you never noticed the B? Come on."
"Sorry," he said sincerely.
"It"s okay. It doesn"t matter anymore anyway."
"What do you mean?" he asked in confusion. "Why doesn"t it matter?"
"Because I"m with you now, and you"re a guy, so everyone will a.s.sume I"m gay, which is fine. It"s all just labels, anyway, right? I don"t care where they slot me."
"Uh, yeah, sure, I guess." He gulped. "What do you mean you"re with with me?" me?"
"Eli?"
"Yeah?"
"We"re naked in my bedroom with dried c.u.m on our stomachs. What do you think I mean?"
He looked down at his stomach and then back at me. "So this isn"t just for one night?"
"Do I strike you as a one-night stand kind of guy?"
He shook his head and stepped toward the bed. "You"re not going to change your mind in the morning?"
"No."
He gulped and got closer. "So we"re, uh, dating now?"
I furrowed my brow. "Dating?"
"Yeah, uh, that"s what people do at first, right? They, uh, date."
I scooted to the edge of the bed and held my arms open. After a brief hesitation, Eli stepped between my knees and put his hands on my shoulders. I held on to his hips and looked up at him.
"I told you once that s.e.x should happen when your d.i.c.k, your brain, and your heart are all on the same page. I"m there, Eli. I"m on that page. I wouldn"t have done this if I wasn"t."
"What, ehm, what are you saying?"
"I"m saying I want you to move into this house we picked out together."
His knees buckled, so I tightened my grip to keep him from falling. I got up just long enough to push the blanket aside, then I sat back down and pulled him with me. I dragged him to the center of the bed and covered us with the blanket.
"You want me to move in here?"
I nodded.
"When?"
"Now."
He coughed. "Now?"
"Well"-I quirked my lips up-"not right this second because, like I already pointed out, we"re both naked, but, yes, I want you to move in now."
"Wow. Here I thought I"d have to ease you into this with some secret dating and then maybe an appearance in public and eventually work my way up to boyfriend status but, no, you want to get straight to it."
His tone confused me. "Is that a problem?" I asked. "Do you want to move slowly?"
"No, it"s not a problem. h.e.l.l, I admire your style, getting straight to the point, but no way do I think you"re going to feel this way in the morning."
"I won"t, huh?"
"No. Way," he said firmly. "Even if you are bi, it"s not like you"ve ever acted on it, New York necking guy aside. Tomorrow, you"re going to wake up and feel ashamed and want to pretend none of this happened. You"ll be all uncomfortable around me, and we"ll barely be friends. Then I"ll have to tell you it was just a hand job, no biggie, straight guys do s.h.i.t like that sometimes. And you"ll say you agree but you won"t really, so you"ll still be tense, and maybe, if I"m lucky and I never, ever bring it up again, things can get back to normal."
"Huh." I had to admire how his mind worked. There I was, thinking about s.e.x and sleep and nothing else, and he had managed to create an entire story in his head. It was a nonsense story, but that didn"t make it any less impressive. "You"ve really thought this through, haven"t you?"
"Yeah."
I moved my hand under the blanket and grazed his hip before cupping his b.u.t.t and caressing it. His reaction was immediate-a hardening shaft poked my hip. I leaned forward, kissed his neck, and whispered, "Care to make this interesting?"
"Interesting, uh, how?" he asked huskily.
I wiggled my fingers between his crease. And felt wetness seep from his d.i.c.k. I loved how easily I could ramp him up.
"How about a bet?"
"A bet?" he said, his voice cracking. "What kind of bet?"
"Winner"s choice of anything he wants in the bedroom." I ma.s.saged his pucker with two fingers.
"Anything?"
"Uh-huh." I licked my way from the base of his throat up his chin and into his mouth at the same time I added just a touch of pressure to his rosebud. "Do we have a deal?"
His breaths quickened and more prec.u.m dripped from his shaft.
"Eli?" I asked, wiggling my fingers and then ma.s.saging the tight opening again. "Do we have a deal?"
"Yes." He pushed back against me, rolling his hips to increase the sensation I was giving to his a.s.s. "It"s a deal."
I put the tip of one finger on his pucker, looked into his eyes, and said, "Do you want me to show you what I"ll be collecting when I win?"
He hesitated, fear warring with desire on his face, and because I"d heard every detail about all of his relationships, I knew why.
Eventually, he whispered, "Yes."
I smiled at him. "Thanks for trusting me, baby." I kissed him tenderly and then moved my hand from his b.u.t.t to his hip and rolled him onto his back.
"What"re you doing?" he asked.
"Giving you a demonstration of my prize."
Before he could ask more questions, I wiggled under the blanket, lined my mouth up with his engorged shaft, and sucked him down.
"Ungh!" he keened and bucked. "Seth! You need to...." He tried pushing me off, but I wouldn"t budge, then he flailed, his legs shook, and his d.i.c.k swelled even more before he emptied himself down my throat.
When I was sure he was spent, I placed a chaste kiss at the tip of his crown, crawled up his body, and lay down beside him.
"What.... Why...." He paused, swallowed, and when he caught his breath, he said, "Why"d you do that?"
"Because I wanted to show you what I want as my prize for winning the bet."