"Because you"re special ... important. Without you the worlds would come to an end. So fate decreed you a protector who would stop at nothing to keep you safe, who puts you first above all else."
And that was the part which made no sense to me. Why Lucy"s vision made no sense. Brace and I were strong together. We had a melding bond which was more unbreakable than even the Walkers" normal mating. Why the h.e.l.l, then, would my power be weakened bonded to him?
And then in a blinding flash of realization I cursed out loud. Following that with lots of other four-letter words.
"d.a.m.n, baby girl, I don"t even want to know where you learned those phrases," Josian said while he gripped my arms.
"It had to be false." I was still cursing under my breath. "There"s no way I was supposed to break the melding bond."
Josian"s features paled under my words.
"Aribella. Take a moment to think this through. You need to be careful with what you do now." Josian spoke slowly. "I concede that a discussion with Brace is the logical next step, but before you reform any bond you need to speak with the lalunas. They can help us understand what this might bring."
I pursed my lips. Before biting down on my cheeks in worry. "I don"t trust them," I finally said, smiling to lessen the bluntness of my words.
I knew Josian loved his little crazy lalunas.
"Well, we still need to talk to them first," he insisted. His face was definitely pale, very unlike his usual luminescence.
I got that he was worried understandably so. One wrong decision could mean the end of the worlds.
"Okay," I finally agreed.
Some color crept back into his cheeks, which made me feel a bit better.
"I"ll get Brace for you. Call me if ... it doesn"t go well."
I grabbed his arm. "No, I"d rather be outside to talk with him." I wasn"t sure if he was going to lose it, and open s.p.a.ces were better for energy explosions.
I walked down with Josian. We made random small talk, discussing Lallielle"s new artwork that he had splashed all around the house, and the next town fair, which was coming up soon. He mentioned that Samuel was back in the house and that Quarn was still leading the protective duty at the castle. I missed my guardian. I needed to find some time to visit him.
"Has Samuel seen Lucy since she got pixiefied?" I asked as we crossed to the white room.
Josian shook his head. "No, the men I sent to keep an eye on him reported that he"d been holed up with some old friends. He only got back today."
I chuckled then. I had thought Josian was being pretty relaxed about Samuel. Good to know he"d been on top of that one. There were definitely benefits to being princeps and having men at your beck and call.
When I stepped through the doorway, my eyes were immediately drawn to Brace. He stood in front of the large windows, legs splayed, his expression serious. Seeing him in front of the gla.s.sed wall brought forth the memory of smas.h.i.+ng through that front window, the pain of all the gla.s.s, and how he had taken care of me. I forced the memories back. It was time to focus on now.
Brace straightened, zeroing in on me with his melting-pot-of-chocolate eyes. He looked tired, but s.e.xy as h.e.l.l. He had a few days" growth on his face, which took his general bada.s.s vibe and tipped him right over into dark and dangerous.
"You have some explaining to do, Red," he bit out, narrowing his eyes at me.
Red.
I swallowed loudly. Oh, h.e.l.l, how much did he know?
Chapter 15.
We walked in silence and I could feel the simmering heat from Brace. The salty breeze ruffled my curls. I was mentally searching for the right words. How to start this conversation? It was hard not knowing what he"d remembered.
But I couldn"t deny my joy at hearing his nickname for me. I"d missed the way he called me Red. His voice always went a little deeper, husky with untold things. And it jolted me the same way every time.
Finally, when I couldn"t stand it any longer, words started to fall out of my mouth. I always sounded like a lunatic when I was nervous, and this was even worse than usual.
"I"m so sorry, Brace. I never wanted things to end up like this. I"m not sure what you remember, but yes, we"re mates, and we were bonded before ... a melding bond."
He froze.
I hurried to continue, needing to get it all out. "There was a prophecy from Lucy, the end of the worlds. But now it turns out she"s a pixie and some of her predictions might be planted or fake or something. I don"t know."
He was watching me closely, his expression guarded. But his jaw was locked in a way that meant bad things.
So of course this only increased the word-vomit.
"And now I think maybe the vision was wrong, but the lalunas destroyed the melding bond and Josian said we have to talk with them before we do anything " I broke off. "I mean, if that"s what you want to do?" I forced my mouth shut, teeth clinking together.
He didn"t answer. I doubted he could even talk through that rigid jaw. d.a.m.n, he might be so p.i.s.sed off at my choices and lies that he"d walk away from me. Just say "screw you, Abby, and your melding bond".
And then with a groan he dragged me into his arms and kissed me.
With all of his pent-up anger I expected his lips to hit mine hard, in a punis.h.i.+ng sort of kiss. But it was the complete opposite. So softly did he touch his mouth to mine, and the moment I tasted him, after so long without, the tears flooded my eyes. I was leaking all over the place lately. He took his time, building slowly until the kiss started to morph into something more.
Hotter. Instantly drying up my tears.
Our breaths came out in hard gasps. I poured every bit of my anger, sorrow and loneliness into that kiss, but the strongest emotion was my love. I loved this man so much. Was more in love with him than I"d ever thought possible. And Brace gave back as good as he got.
He finally pulled away, before cupping my face and resting his head on mine.
"I think I followed along with what you said, but I need you to tell me everything," he said quietly. "Start at the beginning."
We sat then, on the gra.s.s with the ocean roaring in front of us. It was dark, stars and a few of the planets twinkling in the sky above us. Brace held my hand but otherwise we didn"t touch. And with one big breath I started right at the beginning: the dreams I"d had of him on Earth, details of the house in the snow which I"d been dying to visit again and followed our story right up to the moment I went to the lalunas and asked them to break our melding bond.
My hand felt sweaty in his, but I held on, afraid he wanted to pull away. Telling him everything was painful, but for the first time in a long time I wasn"t lying, and that was the biggest relief I could imagine.
He silently processed my words for a little while, before he spoke.
"I thought I was going crazy," he said, staring out into the darkness. "I continued to hear Red in my mind, as if I"d called you that a million times, and yet I knew I hadn"t. All of the dreams, having a mate. I was trying not to push myself on you, but I was desperate to spend time with you. I made Colton find excuses to bring me in to things. Hoping it wouldn"t seem weird." He cleared his throat. "And every time we were together the need to touch you almost strangled me."
He pulled his hand away then, and everything inside me clenched so tightly I thought my heart might actually be crushed. I had expected anger. h.e.l.l, I wanted him to be angry with me. But this sadness was torture.
"I"m ... I"m so sorry," I stuttered out. Stupid useless words. My actions were what counted, and they"d been nothing short of terrible. "I wanted to tell you. I went to tell you so many times, but Lucy kept having those visions. Everyone was dead. Josian said you would never let me break the bond."
"You went to Josian and Lucy," he growled, lowering his eyes, letting those inky lashes fan across his cheeks. "This was about us. You should have come to me first."
Well, technically Lucy had come to me, but I knew what he meant.
"So what do you want to do now?" I held my breath.
What if he stormed off and never spoke with me again? I"d probably die on the spot.
Luckily for me, he was hundreds of years older than my eighteen years, and his maturity far out-stretched my own. He lifted his gaze to meet mine.
"I want you back by my side where you belong. And I want every d.a.m.n memory returned." He lifted me with ease and I found myself sprawled on his lap. "And then I want many nights to tie you to my bed where you can"t get into any trouble."
He fisted handfuls of my hair, gently tilting my head back to face him. "I feel your regret, and the true pain you"ve experienced. But trust is a fundamental part of any relations.h.i.+p, and right now it"s damaged between us. Only time can repair this bond, so if I act a little tyrannical and possessive just remember I"m working to get us back to the place you described. The way we were when you visited my world."
"So we go to the lalunas now?" I tucked myself further into his body. The warmth and heat of Brace wrapped around me. "And what if the visions were correct? We could be d.a.m.ning the entire universe by reforming the melding bond."
"It makes no logical sense that you would be weaker mated to me." Brace was tracing patterns on my back, his hands leaving hot trails on my skin. "Especially if we were melded. That"s the ultimate yin and yang. Two halves of the same whole; and essentially everything is stronger when it"s whole."
That had been my most recent revelation. But still my worry that this was selfish prevailed. I started to laugh then, the relief of sharing the burden, or releasing the lies, took its toll. I was shaking as embarra.s.sing snorts and gasps escaped from me.
"I lasted like ten minutes without you," I said between chuckles. "I thought I was so strong. I was going to be the self-sacrificing martyr which I deserved after releasing the third Seventine but I"m starting to realize how unappealing the role of sacrifice really is."
I was weak. There was no denying it. But dammit, I was eighteen, and if the worlds ended I wanted every last second with Brace.
"You"re strong." Brace could read me even without our mental link in place. "It took strength to break the bond, to do what you felt was right. No matter what you think, you can never take away the fact that you sacrificed your happiness for the lives of others. You"re deserving of the role of conduit."
He stood then, scooping me into his arms so there wasn"t one sliver of s.p.a.ce between our tightly pressed bodies. "And I"m proud to call you mate. I wouldn"t have chosen anything different. I would not change one thing about you." He started to walk us along the beach, back toward the house. "Not even your stubborn a.s.s, which is determined to give me a heart attack."
He sounded like my old Brace then, and for the first time in forever I felt the tension leave my body. And suddenly I was beyond exhausted. I laid my head on his chest and let myself drift with his walking motions. It had been a hard few days, what with being a living energy bag and all of that. It was nice to just have a breather, and to have no secrets between us anymore. This didn"t fix things, not by a long shot, but it was a step in the right direction.
"I was letting other people tell me what to do when I knew in my gut that I should have followed my own instincts," I murmured to Brace, and myself, I guess. "If I"m going to be the leader that brings about the destruction of the Seventine then I need to be stronger, trust in myself more."
His chest moved under my cheek as he replied, "It"s not wrong to seek wise council. No true leader believes they know everything. Otherwise you have a dictator like Que. He didn"t start out bad, but somewhere along the way the power corrupted him and he could no longer see reason. And no longer did he consider the opinions of others."
Brace"s deep voice rumbled around. "But in the end you must trust your own instincts, and mine. You should be grateful that you have me."
I elbowed him, and he laughed.
"Seriously, I"m a smart guy. If you want anyone in your corner for the end-of-days battle ... well, you could do worse."
"You and me against the world, baby." I was slurring a little as exhaustion claimed me.
"Sleep, Red, I"ll keep you safe."
Hearing those words again was a balm to my wounded soul. And even though I didn"t want to lose any time with Brace, I couldn"t stop myself from drifting to sleep.
The voices woke me first. I was disorientated for a moment, wondering why my bed was so hard and yet so comfortable. And then I remembered my confession to Brace, and with a jolt of adrenalin I realized I was still in his lap. I didn"t open my eyes, though. I was going to milk this moment for as long as possible.
"You won"t have time to go to the lalunas. We have to be back on Nephilius in an hour." That was Colton.
"Delane is more of a pain in the a.s.s than Fury, and that"s saying something." Lucy spoke next.
"She just has a code of honor. You can"t blame a person for being strong enough to stay true to themselves," Brace said, his familiar rumbling voice was.h.i.+ng over me. "And there"s no chance she"ll beat me, so I just need to finish these rounds and then we can help Red move on to the next world."
"It"s so strange hearing you call her that again." Lucy"s voice sounded louder. "I can"t believe she told you everything ..." There was an extended pause. "Don"t be too hard on her. She wanted to tell you the entire time. I had to practically glue her mouth shut to stop her from blurting everything out."
Brace"s arms tightened around me. I was pretty sure he knew I was awake. "I"m not happy about her deception, but I do understand what she was thinking. And in the end, I can deny her nothing. She owns me, body and soul, and my driving need is to make her happy. No point fighting against that urge."
Colton snorted. "Finally you can join the whipped-Walker club."
Brace stood to the sounds of Colton and Lucy"s bantering. "I"m going to take Red upstairs so she can wake and get ready for Nephilius. I"m sure she won"t want to be left behind. She"s stressing about Delane escaping her grasp."
"Okay, we"ll wait here for you," Colton said, and then I felt a slight jolt.
I think the wolf Walker had slapped his best friend on the shoulder.
"Open those beautiful eyes," Brace murmured as he walked. "I like knowing I can stare at you as much as I want."
I met his gaze.
"You"re like a creepy old stalker," I teased, a true smile gracing my lips.
"Emphasis on the "old" part," I heard Lucy shout from downstairs.
Clearly her hearing had improved greatly.
"We need new friends," I said loudly.
Lucy and Colton"s chuckles could be heard for most of our journey.
I stared up at Brace. "You know I can walk. I must be getting heavy."
"I could carry you for all eternity." His voice was low and growly. And I liked it.
We didn"t say much for the rest of the walk. I wasn"t sure what Brace was thinking, but I was just enjoying the moment. He left me to shower and change while he sprawled across my big bed. Of course, the moment he spread out it suddenly looked tiny. The man was ma.s.sive, and seemed to be growing even more. His arms were pretty heavily muscled, but since he"d become princeps he seemed to have grown stronger. Josian had mentioned before that princeps received power from their other clan members. Maybe that was what had happened with Brace.
I rushed through my shower, dressed quickly, and was back to crawl in next to Brace for a quick cuddle. The urge to reform the melding bond was cras.h.i.+ng in on me constantly. I knew we would not be able to hold out much longer. The closer we grew, the harder it was to stop the compulsion. When we were together I had to physically stop myself flicking open my necklace.
"We should go," I finally said, wiggling away before he could drag me back.
With a huff, he followed me down the hallway and into the white room. Lucy and Colton were not in there, but I could see a green pixie through the front window. We stepped outside. The sun was just starting to rise in the indigo sky. I was shocked to see that Colton was in his wolf form.
"What"s going on?" I asked them.
Lucy was fluttering around, small puffs of dust floating off her, but not enough that I thought she was really upset. "Someone was looking in through the front window. Colt wanted to be in wolf form to scent them."
The snow-white wolf started to growl low, an ominous thundering sound which had the hair on my arms standing up.