CAPTAIN: Well, ain "t we listenin", Duke?
PATCH: Jest strainin" our ears.
DUKE: I "ll tell yer. I squinted in the gla.s.s, meself, arter it was broke.
CAPTAIN and PATCH: What did yer see?
(_There is intense silence. The Duke comes forward to the table. He taps his fingers sagely. He looks mysteriously at his fellow pirates.
They put their heads together. The Duke sinks his voice. In such posture and accent was the gunpowder plot hatched out._)
DUKE: Nothin"! Jest nothin"!
(_The strain is over. They relax._)
CAPTAIN: The Duke, he jest seen nothin".
PATCH: Jest nothin" at all.
DUKE: That "s what gets me. If the _ol" lady_ "d seen nothin", she would n"t took ter fidgettin". And therefore she seen _somethin"_.
Does yer foller? You, Captain? I "spects nothin" from Patch.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "I "spects nothin" from Patch"]
PATCH: Yer hurts me feelin"s, Duke.
DUKE: Somethin" "s wrong. Somethin" "s wrong with Red Joe.
PATCH: Red Joe "s a right smart feller, I says.
CAPTAIN: He can shoot as straight as ol" Flint. Barin" meself, Joe "s as straight a shot as I "ve seen in many a year. Patch, agin him, is jest a crooked stick.
PATCH: Pick on the Duke jest once, why does n"t yer?
DUKE: Ease off, mates! Red Joe ain "t goin" ter hang on no gibbet.
"Cause why? "Cause I "m tellin" yer. I "ll tell yer what the ol" lady seen in the gla.s.s.
(_Once more the Duke draws the pirates around him. He is Guy Faux and the wicked Bothwell rolled together._)
CAPTAIN: We "re listenin", Duke.
PATCH: Like kittens at a mouse-hole.
DUKE: Captain, it "s deuced strange that Red Joe"s ship--nary a stick o" her--never come ter sh.o.r.e. Does yer remember a wreck "long here where nothin" washed ter sh.o.r.e?
CAPTAIN: Yer right, Duke. I never did.
DUKE: Does you remember one, stoopid?
PATCH: I does n"t remember one this minute, Duke.
DUKE: Ol" Flint, he had a pigtail, did n"t he? And you "ve a pigtail, Captain, has n"t yer? And Patch-Eye, he "s got what he calls a pigtail.
CAPTAIN: Spinach, I calls it.
DUKE: And ol" Pew, he "d got a pigtail, ain "t he? And every blessed man as sailed with him. I "m tellin" yer, Captain.
PATCH: The sea-cook, he did n"t have one.
DUKE: Sea-cooks ain "t sailormen. They "re swabs. Jest indoor swabs.
Did yer ever see a pirate snipped all "round like a landlubber, with nary a whisp behind?
CAPTAIN: Yer can rot me keel, Duke, I never did.
PATCH: I agrees with the Captain.
DUKE: Red Joe, he ain "t got a pigtail.
CAPTAIN: No more he ain "t.
PATCH: Was n"t it Noah, Captain; as got his pigtail cut by some designin" woman? Does yer think Red Joe "s gone and met a schemin"
wixen?
CAPTAIN: I scorns yer igerence. Yer thinks o" Jonah.
DUKE: Well? Well? I "ve told yer Red Joe ain "t got a pigtail. Does n"t yer smell anythin"?
CAPTAIN: (_as he turns his head and sniffs audibly_). I can "t say as I sniffs nothin"--leastways, nothin" perticerler. I smells a bit o"
grog, perhaps.
PATCH: I gets a whiff o" garlic from the kitchen.
DUKE: The two o" yer never can smell nothin" when there "s garlic or grog around. I "m askin" yer pardon, Captain. Does Red Joe talk like a pirate? Sink me, he can "t rip an oath. Did yer ever know a pirate which could n"t talk fluent?
CAPTAIN: What "s bitin" yer, Duke?
DUKE: Ain "t I tellin" yer?
CAPTAIN: Ain "t we listenin"?
PATCH: Jest hangin" on yer tongue?
DUKE: Captain, you and me and Patch has seen a heap o" sights. We knows the ocean. We knows her when she "s blue and when she "s kickin"
"igher than a gallow"s tree.
CAPTAIN: We has been ter Virginy.
PATCH: We has traded slaves at the Barbadoes.