"Yes." Lith didn"t think she could have added anything more to that one word.
"That spraen has more luck than the Emperor himself," Koul spat out, and Lith knew the immediate danger was past. She could tell from the preoccupied frown on his face and the way he chewed his lower lip, that his thoughts were turning inwards. Putting together another scheme perhaps? She hoped not. But now that she had fallen in with his plans once already, she knew he wouldn"t hesitate to put her in a similar situation again. And what would she do then?
Absently, he lifted his gaze and frowned, as if only now aware of where he was. He directed a hard look at her.
"I"ll be in touch," he said abruptly and exited with a quick slap on the door"s access panel.
Lith made sure the door was locked before she let herself relax. She knew her mission was dangerous but this was so far beyond that that she could barely wrap her mind around it. She walked over to her bed, closed her eyes and threw herself back onto the mattress.
What had she been thinking? Had she really been so stupid and idealistic?
"Yes," she murmured.
Both she and Nils thought it was difficult, but not impossible, to get close to Senior Colonel Sie and blow her brains out. Did Nils even wonder how she was going to extricate herself from the situation when the job was done?
"No."
It was no use blaming him too much. To be honest, she hadn"t thought of it either. Both of them fed off each other, supported each other in their mutual blindness. It was like one rotten tree trunk collapsed against another.
Only two things occupied their minds. Infiltrating the Perlim military structure, and a distant future free from Perlim influence. Everything in between didn"t seem to exist. Did Nils even expect to see her again, she wondered bitterly.
She jackknifed into sitting position, burying her head in her hands and letting her damp hair fall forward over tense fingers.
"Stupid, stupid," she repeated to herself softly.
Why had it taken so long to understand the complexity of the situation? Of course there would be other dynamics at play beyond her own simple-minded a.s.sa.s.sination plans. Games within games being played out in the most strategic territory on the planet. And she had betrayed herself into becoming Grakal-Ski"s p.a.w.n.
Lith felt the heat of her cheeks through her hands. All she could do was wish again that she could have her time over again. She wished she was more sensible and less idealistic. She wished she had never even heard of Cheloi Sie.
And she definitely wished she wasn"t in love with her.
Day 1,551 of the War: Cheloi slowly walked the circ.u.mference of the camp while her mind worked furiously. She took a deep breath, expecting the customary jab in her chest, but the doctors had patched her up well. Even her limp was better, improved by rest and a strict medication regime she had been forced to take.
More than twelve days had pa.s.sed since she and Lith reached Perlim territory and there was still not a breath of scandal around their return. Could it be that her luck was holding? She had half-expected Drel to appear on a national pirate broadcast, denouncing her driver as a Fusion infiltrator. She didn"t know what she would have done in that case. But there was only silence. With nothing to imply otherwise, Koul was forced to accept her story at face value.
But now there were other more significant events unfolding. In another twenty plus days, she was expecting a member of Central Control to pay a rare visit to her territory. And from more than two years of wearing another"s skin as her own, Cheloi knew what that meant. A major offensive of some sort was in the works.
Time to start the end-game rolling?
She smiled to herself, turning it into a public acknowledgement as she pa.s.sed a small group of soldiers. After so long, she should be glad of the opportunity to leave the dusty tempest-laden planet behind her, but there were still so many unresolved issues.
Koul was the easiest. Although one of the more ruthless opponents she had faced, he was nothing more or less than the kind of ambitious officer she had years of experience dealing with. She"d be able to leave him behind without a backward glance and might even reminisce fondly on his arrogant foibles should she ever stumble across his name in the future.
The soldiers. Soldiers were soldiers. They were worth a bit more in this war because of their relative scarcity, but that only meant that they were more expensive to replace, not irreplaceable.
Rumis. Now it was starting to get difficult. Despite Copan"s reb.u.t.tals, she felt there should still be some way she could ease him into a better life, some loophole she could exploit. Rumis was important to her. There had to be a way she could free him of the Perlim. But he compounded the problem by being a loyal officer of the Empire, d.a.m.n his sense of honour. And even if she did manage to transplant him to the Fusion, what was she going to do about his family? He was part of a close-knit network of relatives. What about his sister"s wedding, which he was probably going to miss? The annual gatherings? The opportunity to settle down in a familiar and comfortable environment? No, the obvious solutions didn"t work. She still needed to think her way around her adjutant.
And that left- Lith. Fusion, originally from Laeyek Omni B, but where did she call home now? Was their aborted pa.s.sion for each other just a result of the war, or was it a sign of something deeper? Maybe there was a lover waiting for her back in Fusion s.p.a.ce. Maybe she was merely dallying with Cheloi because she saw this as a transitory thing, doing to her what Copan had recommended she do to her aide.
What a shame Cheloi didn"t agree. She had not felt so heart-poundingly distracted since Eys. She thought her heart had petrified into a small, hard lump when she heard of her beloved"s death. And now, here she was in enemy territory, thinking too much of a particular warm and lusciously honeyed body and wondering if they would ever have a future together.
Gravel crunched beneath her feet, the sound only impinging on her hearing when she paused in her thoughts. The sky was darkening, readying itself for its night-time show. It would be time for dinner soon. Ever since she returned from Drel"s clutches, the commander"s table was always full. Koul, previously an occasional visitor, now rushed to the evening meal. Cheloi, attuned to his body language through years of observation, could read the unsuccessful quelling of his agitated breathing. Rumis hadn"t missed many dinners either. Whether he was still contemplating the pursuit of Lith, or wished to keep either Koul or herself under his watchful gaze, Cheloi didn"t know. Lith herself probably and quite rightly saw the dinner as a refuge from further hara.s.sment from her second-in-command. It was the one place where she could not be intimidated or coerced by him.
The dinners were courteous, sometimes serious, sometimes entertaining, but always with an undercurrent of wary suspicion. Koul had done this with his plot to remove her from command, and she had done it with an explanation for their escape that all present knew skirted the bounds of probability. It was just as well that Central Control was visiting soon. Cheloi didn"t know how much longer she could have held out under such circ.u.mstances. Months perhaps, but certainly not years.
So where did that leave her for the next few weeks?
In Lith"s bed?
The errant thought popped into her head with the power of an incendiary bomb.
No.
She might think there were only weeks to go before the Nineteen unravelled but Cheloi knew that a lot could happen in only a matter of days. Koul would try to kill her again. She didn"t know when, but the man didn"t understand the concept of giving up. It was both a weakness of his and a strength. What if he decided to make his move while she was distracted, indulging herself in the honeyed warmth of her aide? More to the point, just because Lith had rescued her, it didn"t mean that she would be amenable to the resurrection of a relationship Cheloi herself had ended.
Stupid, stupid, she told herself. Although she knew she had the best of reasons for doing so, terminating intimacy with Lith was like hacking off one of her own limbs with a blunt saw. Just watching the younger woman as she moved around the complex was enough to fill Cheloi with a surfeit of tenderness. She couldn"t not watch that golden figure, a compulsion beyond her self-discipline to rein in.
But.
What was the alternative? Knowing the chaos of warfare, Cheloi knew she was just as likely to be blown to bits by a stray rebel missile. Her mind circled back to the original question. How would she rather die? As a frustrated Fusion agent? Or a satisfied woman?
And Lith comes from the Fusion!
If anyone could keep a secret, Cheloi reasoned, it would be another member of the Fusion. Especially one who had been trying to kill her. Her lips quirked. She should feel insulted, but instead only felt a strange sense of pride. More than anything else, that told her how besotted she was with her driver. But who couldn"t love a pa.s.sionate, idealistic woman? One who believed principles trumped reality?
I think I want to keep this one.
She was through with denying herself. For once, Cheloi decided, she would follow her heart and to h.e.l.l with the consequences.
Chapter Sixteen.
Day 1,558 of the War: The door to Lith"s quarters was down the corridor. It might as well have been on a different planet. Usually, an aide"s quarters were attached to his commanding officer"s. But with a female commanding officer and an initially male driver that had to change. Cheloi had smirked but allowed the prudish mores of the Empire to hold sway, and her driver had been billeted sufficiently far away for propriety to reign.
Little did she know that the time would come when she would curse that very arrangement. It had been seven days since she made the self-indulgent decision to bed Lith again. The problem was, the opportunity never seemed to present itself. With Koul still on high alert and Rumis watching everyone like a hungry predator, she could barely take a breath in peace.
It would have been easy for her to relieve herself, to let her fingers roam her naked body at night and find some peace in a short intense o.r.g.a.s.m, but that was not what she wanted. She wanted someone else"s hands stroking her skin and puckering her nipples, someone else"s mouth darting into her mouth and s.e.x, someone else"s body rubbing against hers. Almost every morning now, she woke up with moistness between her thighs and the aching recollection of hot carnal dreams.
As Copan pointed out, this was the longest anybody had ever been immersed in a mission. Maybe that"s what ate away at her usual objectivity. For years, Laisen had thought of herself as encased in ice. And now, on the most dangerous mission of her life, she finally felt herself thawing.
She wondered what a woman like Lith would want with the Butcher? Lith had said it with such bitterness in her voice during their time in Sab-Inuk that it bit Cheloi to the quick. What could she say in her defence? That she was an agent of the Fusion? Would admitting that she was an ex-killer, ex-manipulator, ex-burglar be any better than being the Butcher? And surely beautiful, honey-spun, luscious Lith had her own line of paramours waiting for her to return. Paramours that weren"t war criminals.
Cheloi gritted her teeth. But they weren"t back in the Fusion yet. Right here right now, there were only the two of them in an alien war zone. The future would still be there after Menon. She hoped. She would tackle its complexities then.
It was with a twinge of interest that she noted Rumis" impending absence that evening. He had two days of leave owing to him and was taking full advantage of it by booking a skimmer down to the Five. And Koul, after another week of eagle-eyed scrutiny failed to pay off, was temporarily conceding defeat and planning to pay his friend, Wakor, a visit. He would be back early in the morning, but that left one night free from interfering eyes.
Cheloi could barely hold back her grin. At last, dinner alone with Lith. Despite the intense temptation, she restrained her excitement. There would be no calls to the chef with requests for special dishes. No change to her evening dress. Nothing that would cause anyone to even catch a breath of something different.
When Rumis bounced in near the end of the afternoon, Cheloi plastered a faintly disapproving expression on her face.
"So I have to do without you for two days," she remarked.
"If you"d rather I didn"t leave, Colonel...." His voice was earnest.
Cheloi shook her head. "Recreation is as important to efficiency as work, Rumis." She glanced at the chrono on her desk. "There doesn"t seem to be much going on today. Why don"t you leave now? But I"ll be expecting you back on time."
He executed a smart salute and grinned. "Absolutely, Senior Colonel. And thank you."
She contacted the kitchen, to let them know to set one less place for dinner. If she knew Koul, he wouldn"t let the kitchen know of his absence either. For her second-in-command, it was an omission due to power rather than forgetfulness. She shook her head. Koul liked his authority too much to appreciate that it was sometimes more beneficial to use less of it.
The minutes dragged by like hours. Lith was making one of her semi-regular spot checks of the artillery batteries in the territory, a sideline a.s.signment from Rumis, and was only scheduled to return just before dinner.
Cheloi supposed she could take another tour of the HQ grounds, but she wasn"t in the mood to play the senior commander. Not tonight. She glanced at the pile of work that still needed doing. In twelve days" time, a civilian adviser from Central Control would be visiting and she had to make sure that everything was clean and sparkling for his visit. She hadn"t been given a name yet but knew it would be a man. While the Perlim had opened their military hierarchy to females a little more than a century ago, the policy making levels of both military and civilian life were strictly off limits to women, droids and other genders. Males still made all the important decisions.
With an hour still to go before she got ready for her evening meal, Cheloi penned several orders. She wanted a double-complement of teams on the a.s.sault course during the advisor"s visit. She wanted all broken equipment in the kitchens and infirmary fixed and the storerooms and their contents polished to within a nanometre of their lives. She wanted the paths swept clean and mathematically straight. She"d send Koul to do the inspections. He loved that kind of work.
And while she was planning, time crept up on her, surprising her with its swiftness, and it was time to change for dinner.
She was the first to the dining room. As she surmised, Koul had not informed anybody of his planned absence because three places were set. Lith was next, her hair still damp from her shower. Even sitting across from her, Cheloi could smell the clean floral scent of the toiletries she had used. Cheloi saw her eyes dart to the other spot, obviously wondering whether she would be sharing the table with the personable Rumis or the repressive Koul.
"Actually, it"s just us for dinner," Cheloi told her, trying for an air of casualness. "Rumis is on two days" leave and Koul is most probably conspiring with Wakor over the circ.u.mstances of my next "accident"."
Lith"s initial look of relief was swamped by a blush that tinged her cheekbones red. Cheloi knew what she was thinking but didn"t regret her statement. A perverse part of her wanted to punish Lith as much as she wanted to f.u.c.k her.
When the server arrived, Cheloi instructed him to remove the third place. Conversation was light in tone but valuable. As a lieutenant, Lith often heard things that wouldn"t be repeated within earshot of the commanding officer, and she was an intelligent and observant woman. Even if Cheloi hadn"t developed feelings for her, she still would have valued her as an important member of her junior staff.
The meal segued to dessert and Cheloi started feeling the waves of tension shimmering over the table. This was the first opportunity they"d had since returning from Drel"s hideout to share a private moment. It was strange that the rebel still hadn"t made any further statements about her escape, but Cheloi didn"t want to think about that. Ignorance truly was bliss. She looked at her driver"s uniform, at the curves her pressed tunic couldn"t hide, and felt a quiver in her abdomen.
When the server came to clear the plates, Cheloi instructed him to bring a bottle of life-water, two gla.s.ses, and then leave them in peace. There would be nothing beyond an amused acknowledgement of this in the kitchen. They were well used to Cheloi sitting and drinking away the hours with Rumis. She could easily imagine them sympathising with Lith, listening to the Colonel"s tales while her adjutant was away.
Cheloi didn"t ask but poured two gla.s.ses of life-water when it arrived. The server took the hint, dashed off a quick salute and hurried out.
"We haven"t had a chance to talk," she said as she sipped her drink. The fiery liquid slipped down her throat.
Lith gulped at her gla.s.s, as if happy for the additional psychological prop. "No, we haven"t."
"Has Koul been to see you? Since we came back?"
She could see the expressions flit across her driver"s face, as transparent as a pond of clear water. Discomfort, a brief flirtation with untruth, decision, then resignation. Wherever Lith had come from, it was an amateur outfit.
"Yes," she answered. "He came to my quarters. He wasn"t very happy."
"I"m sure he wasn"t."
"I told him the same thing you did."
Cheloi refilled her gla.s.s and sipped at the amber liquid. "I"m sure he was doubly disappointed. One, that the rebels didn"t kill me. And two, that you didn"t manage it either."
Lith opened her mouth, but no words emerged. Cheloi was left experiencing both intellectual satisfaction and outright l.u.s.t at the same time. The satisfaction she could deal with. It was the l.u.s.t that continued to bother her.
"How did you know?" Lith finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I know Koul." She stood up, reached across and splashed more liquid from the bottle into her subordinate"s gla.s.s before seating herself again. "You told me that he knew you were from the Fusion, yet he didn"t expose you. That meant he had a plan. When you mentioned that our trip to see Vanqill might have been manufactured, I put myself in his shoes."
She looked up at the ceiling, its surface rough from the excavation work that had carved the room from solid rock. "What would Koul do?"
She lowered her eyes, capturing Lith with her gaze. "Koul would make things as vacuum-sealed as possible. It was one thing to depend on the rebels to find us, but he couldn"t control them, couldn"t directly tell them what to do. What if they didn"t come through the way he expected? What if the rebels didn"t kill me? He needed a backup plan. And you were it. If we both got killed then all of his problems were solved. But if, through some magic, we somehow survived, then you"d be primed for another effort that," Cheloi lifted her gla.s.s in a wry salute, "I hope you"ll inform me of next time. Preferably before everything explodes into oblivion."
"Why aren"t you turning me in?" Lith asked bluntly. "You know enough to have me executed for trying to kill a superior officer. Even if you didn"t have any hard evidence, your suspicions would be enough to imprison me."
It was a good question. What was she supposed to say? That she wanted to f.u.c.k her driver more than kill her? That she was already tired of all the deaths? That, as Fusion, Lith deserved to go back to a promising future? That, in the back of her mind, in the warm embrace of night"s still darkness, she harboured fantasies of settling down and living a more normal life? With her?
"I, don"t always agree with the direction the Empire has taken," Cheloi said, choosing her words carefully. "And I think the loyal service I have given so far ent.i.tles me to a few favours."
That was something everyone understood. It was a rule of war millennia old that able commanders were allowed their eccentricities. The brilliant strategist, General Unse Sev of the Alpha Ozca Territories, used to take his team of pet klee into battle with him. Supreme Commander Naurie had an armoured shirt handmade from the teeth of her enemies. In Cheloi"s case, she was only talking about a light case of nepotism. Something so slight it paled into insignificance next to more flamboyant oddities.
The only problem with her explanation was that it added an undesirable element of pressure to their relationship. She could already see her driver follow the statements to their logical conclusion. If, as a lieutenant, she refused to meet the demands of her superior officer, there was the tangible risk that she would be tried and executed...if the commander was so inclined.
Cheloi didn"t like it, never liked her partners to feel that they were coerced in any way, but she had no choice. She had to keep her cover. And she was determined to have her driver however she could.
"But you were already determined to kill me, weren"t you? Even before Koul approached you?"
It answered so much. Lith"s strange apprehension when they first met, the determination on her face during the military exercise at Bul-Guymem, the struggle Cheloi could feel that went on inside her, as if resisting the Colonel was more than just a matter of propriety. Koul had catalysed Cheloi"s musings and everything clicked precisely into place.
Lith leant back against the chair with closed eyes. She looked exhausted. "I was so stupid," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I walked into this without thinking. Nils kept telling me about the cruelty of the Perlim, showing me vids and reports. Things my parents refused to talk about. And, being a child of refugees myself, I wanted to do something about it."
Cheloi controlled the start that twitched her body at Lith"s mention of someone else. She knew that name and, within a few seconds, she had it. Nils was the young firebrand who had left the Free-Perlim Council. She thought he might have moved on to other things but it seemed not. Lith was tied up with him? It certainly seemed so from a professional angle. Was it the same personally as well? Cheloi gritted her teeth as imagination put Lith next to the handsome young orator she remembered from her briefings. They looked perfect together and a stab of jealousy hit deep in her belly.
"He trained you to infiltrate the Empire?" she asked shortly.
But Lith didn"t notice the tone, lost in her recollections. "It wasn"t just him. Nils had a group of friends who helped him. Militants like himself who thought the Fusion"s Free-Perlim Council liked the sound of their own voices more than true justice." She snapped her eyes open. "And I still agree with that," she added mutinously.
Cheloi admired her courage, even if it was more than a little foolish. In years past, she would have laughed at someone like Lith, equal parts bravado and ideology. But now she could only sit and be fascinated by her, wondering what it would be like to be defended by someone so strong and righteous. She could never be sure whether Eys would have ever caught her if she stumbled. That was part of the dizzying excitement of being around her. But she knew without a doubt that Lith would. Lith would be there for every trip, every fall, ever vigilant and supportive. What would it take, she thought, to call such a woman her champion?
The Colonel rose and, with measured steps, walked to the door and locked it. Behind her, she heard a quick intake of breath.
She hated herself as she walked back to the table, skirting the edge so she was standing in front of Lith. Reaching past her, she moved the empty gla.s.ses and bottle to the bureau before extending both her hands, palm ups, to her driver.
In a delicate move, Lith placed her hands in Cheloi"s and stood.
Cheloi moved close, shutting her eyes and nuzzling Lith"s cheek. It was soft and downy, fragrant and warm. "I don"t"