Waring"s Peril.
by Charles King.
CHAPTER I.
"Ananias!"
"Ye-as, suh?"
"What time is it?"
"Gyahd-mountin" done gone, suh."
"The devil it has! What do you mean, sir, by allowing me to sleep on in this shameless and unconscionable manner, when an indulgent government is suffering for my services? What sort of day is it, sir?"
"Beautiful day, Mr. Waring."
"Then go at once to Mr. Larkin and tell him he can"t wear his new silk hat this morning,--I want it, and you fetch it. Don"t allow him to ring in the old one on you. Tell him I mean the new "spring style" he just brought from New York. Tell Mr. Ferry I want that new Hatfield suit of his, and you get Mr. Pierce"s silk umbrella; then come back here and get my bath and my coffee. Stop there, Ananias! Give my pious regards to the commanding officer, sir, and tell him that there"s no drill for "X" Battery this morning, as I"m to breakfast at Moreau"s at eleven o"clock and go to the _matinee_ afterwards."
"Beg pahdon, suh, but de cunnle"s done ohdered review fo" de whole command, suh, right at nine o"clock."
"So much the better. Then Captain Cram must stay, and won"t need his swell team. Go right down to the stable and tell Jeffers I"ll drive at nine-thirty."
"But----"
"No buts, you incorrigible rascal! I don"t pay you a princely salary to raise obstacles. I don"t pay you at all, sir, except at rare intervals and in moments of mental decrepitude. Go at once! Allez! Cha.s.sez!
Skoot!"
"But, lieutenant," says Ananias, his black face shining, his even white teeth all agleam, "Captain Cram stopped in on de way back from stables to say Glenco "d sprained his foot and you was to ride de bay colt.
_Please_ get up, suh. Boots and Saddles "ll soun" in ten minutes."
"It won"t, but if it does I"ll brain the bugler. Tell him so. Tell Captain Cram he"s entirely mistaken: I won"t ride the bay colt--nor Glenco. I"m going driving, sir, with Captain Cram"s own team and road-wagon. Tell _him_ so. Going in forty-five minutes by my watch.
Where is it, sir?"
"It ain"t back from de jeweller"s, suh, where you done lef" it day before yist"day; but his boy"s hyuh now, suh, wid de bill for las" year.
What shall I tell him?"
"Tell him to go to--quarantine. No! Tell him the fever has broken out here again, sir, and not to call until ten o"clock next spring,--next mainspring they put in that watch. Go and get Mr. Merton"s watch. Tell him I"ll be sure to overstay in town if he doesn"t send it, and then I can"t take him up and introduce him to those ladies from Louisville to-morrow. Impress that on him, sir, unless he"s gone and left it on his bureau, in which case impress the watch,--the watch, sir, in any case.
No! Stop again, Ananias; _not_ in any case, only in the gold hunting-case; no other. Now then, vanish!"
"But, lieutenant, "fo" Gawd, suh, dey"ll put you in arrest if you cuts drill dis time. Cunnle Braxton says to Captain Cram only two days ago, suh, dat----"
But here a white arm shot out from a canopy of mosquito-netting, and first a boot-jack, then a slipper, then a heavy top-boot, came whizzing past the darky"s dodging head, and, finding expostulation vain, that faithful servitor bolted out in search of some ally more potent, and found one, though not the one he sought or desired, just entering the adjoining room.
A big fellow, too,--too big, in fact, to be seen wearing, as was the fashion in the sixties, the sh.e.l.l jacket of the light artillery. He had a full round body, and a full round ruddy face, and a little round visorless cap c.o.c.ked on one side of a round bullet head, not very full of brains, perhaps, yet reputed to be fairly stocked with what is termed "horse sense." His bulky legs were thrust deep in long boots, and ornamented, so far as the skin-tight breeches of sky-blue were concerned, with a scarlet welt along the seam, a welt that his comrades were wont to say would make a white mark on his nose, so red and bulbous was that organ. He came noisily in from the broad veranda overlooking the parade-ground, glanced about on the disarray of the bachelor sitting-room, then whirled on Ananias.
"Mr. Waring dressed?"
"No-o, suh; jus" woke up, suh; ain"t out o" bed yit."
"The lazy vagabond! Just let me get at him a minute," said the big man, tramping over to the door-way as though bent on invading the chamber beyond. But Ananias had halted short at sight of the intruder, and stood there resolutely barring the way.
"Beg pahdon, lieutenant, but Mr. Waring ain"t had his bath yit. Can I mix de lieutenant a c.o.c.ktail, suh?"
"Can you? You black imp of Satan, why isn"t it ready now, sir? Sure you could have seen I was as dhry as a lime-kiln from the time I came through the gate. Hware"s the demijohn, you villain?"
"Bein" refilled, suh, down to de sto", but dar"s a little on de sideboa"d, suh," answered Ananias, edging over thither now that he had lured the invader away from the guarded door-way. "Take it straight, suh, o" wid bitters--o" toddy?"
"Faith, I"ll answer ye as Pat did the parson: I"ll take it straight now, and then be drinkin" the toddy while your honor is mixin" the punch. Give me hold of it, you smudge! and tell your masther it"s review,--full dress,--and it"s time for him to be up. Has he had his two c.o.c.ktails yet?"
"The lieutenant doesn"t care fo" any dis mawnin", suh. I"ll fetch him his coffee in a minute. Did you see de cunnle"s oade"ly, suh? He was lookin" fo" you a moment ago."
The big red man was gulping down a big drink of the fiery liquor at the instant. He set the gla.s.s back on the sideboard with unsteady hand and glared at Ananias suspiciously.
"Is it troot" you"re tellin", n.i.g.g.e.r? Hwat did he say was wanted?"
"Didn"t say, suh, but de cunnle"s in his office. Yawnduh comes de oade"ly, too, suh; guess he must have hyuhd you was over hyuh."
The result of this announcement was not unexpected. The big man made a leap for the chamber door, only to find it slammed in his face from the other side.
"Hwat the devil"s the matter with your master this morning, Ananias?--Waring! Waring, I say! Let me in: the K. O."s orderly is afther me, and all on account of your bringing me in at that hour last night.--Tell him I"ve gone, Ananias.--Let me in, Waring, there"s a good fellow."
"Go to blazes, Doyle!" is the unfeeling answer from the other side. "I"m bathing." And a vigorous splashing follows the announcement.
"For the Lord"s sake, Waring, let me in. Sure I can"t see the colonel now. If I could stand him off until review and inspection"s over and he"s had his dhrink, he"d let the whole thing drop; but that blackguard of a sinthry has given us away. Sure I told you he would."
"Then slide down the lightning-rod! Fly up the chimney! Evaporate! Dry up and blow away, but get _out_! You can"t come in here."
"Oh, for mercy"s sake, Waring! Sure "twas you that got me into the sc.r.a.pe. You know that I was dhrunk when you found me up the levee. You made me come down when I didn"t want to. Hwat did I say to the man last night, anyhow?"
"Say to him? Poor devil! why, you never can remember after you"re drunk what you"ve been doing the night before. Some time it"ll be the death of you. You abused him like a pickpocket,--the sergeant of the guard and everybody connected with it."
"Oh, murther, murther, murther!" groaned the poor Irishman, sitting down and covering his face with his hands. "Sure they"ll court-martial me this time without fail, and I know it. For G.o.d"s sake, Waring, can"t ye let a fellow in and say that I"m not here?"
"Hyuh, dis way, lieutenant," whispered Ananias, mysteriously. "Slip out on de po"ch and into Mr. Pierce"s room. I"ll tell you when he"s gone."
And in a moment the huge bulk of the senior lieutenant of Light Battery "X" was being boosted through a window opening from the gallery into the bachelor den of the junior second lieutenant. No sooner was this done than the negro servant darted back, closed and bolted the long green Venetian blinds behind him, tiptoed to the bedroom door, and, softly tapping, called,--
"Mr. Waring! Mr. Waring! get dressed quick as you can, suh; I"ll lay out your uniform in hyuh."
"I tell you, Ananias, I"m going to town, sir; not to any ridiculous review. Go and get what I ordered you. See that I"m properly dressed, sir, or I"ll discharge you. Confound you, sir! there isn"t a drop of Florida water in this bath, and none on my bureau. Go and rob Mr.
Pierce,--or anybody."
But Ananias was already gone. Darting out on the gallery, he took a header through the window of the adjoining quarters through which Mr.
Doyle had escaped, s.n.a.t.c.hed a long flask from the dressing-table, and was back in the twinkling of an eye.
"What became of Mr. Doyle?" asked Waring, as he thrust a bare arm through a narrow aperture to receive the spoil. "Don"t let him get drunk; _he"s_ got to go to review, sir. If he doesn"t, Colonel Braxton may be so inconsiderate as to inquire why both the lieutenants of "X"
Battery are missing. Take good care of him till the review, sir, then let him go to gra.s.s; and don"t you dare leave me without Florida water again, if you have to burglarize the whole post. What"s Mr. Doyle doing, sir?"