"I met him at Marian"s," said Mrs. Penniman. "He goes to Marian"s, and they are so afraid you will meet him there. It"s my belief that that"s why he goes. He wants so much to see you." Catherine made no response to this, and Mrs. Penniman went on. "I didn"t know him at first; he is so remarkably changed. But he knew me in a minute. He says I am not in the least changed. You know how polite he always was. He was coming away when I came, and we walked a little distance together. He is still very handsome, only, of course, he looks older, and he is not so--so animated as he used to be. There was a touch of sadness about him; but there was a touch of sadness about him before--especially when he went away. I am afraid he has not been very successful--that he has never got thoroughly established.
I don"t suppose he is sufficiently plodding, and that, after all, is what succeeds in this world." Mrs. Penniman had not mentioned Morris Townsend"s name to her niece for upwards of the fifth of a century; but now that she had broken the spell, she seemed to wish to make up for lost time, as if there had been a sort of exhilaration in hearing herself talk of him. She proceeded, however, with considerable caution, pausing occasionally to let Catherine give some sign.
Catherine gave no other sign than to stop the rocking of her chair and the swaying of her fan; she sat motionless and silent. "It was on Tuesday last," said Mrs. Penniman, "and I have been hesitating ever since about telling you. I didn"t know how you might like it.
At last I thought that it was so long ago that you would probably not have any particular feeling. I saw him again, after meeting him at Marian"s. I met him in the street, and he went a few steps with me.
The first thing he said was about you; he asked ever so many questions. Marian didn"t want me to speak to you; she didn"t want you to know that they receive him. I told him I was sure that after all these years you couldn"t have any feeling about that; you couldn"t grudge him the hospitality of his own cousin"s house. I said you would be bitter indeed if you did that. Marian has the most extraordinary ideas about what happened between you; she seems to think he behaved in some very unusual manner. I took the liberty of reminding her of the real facts, and placing the story in its true light. HE has no bitterness, Catherine, I can a.s.sure you; and he might be excused for it, for things have not gone well with him. He has been all over the world, and tried to establish himself everywhere; but his evil star was against him. It is most interesting to hear him talk of his evil star. Everything failed; everything but his--you know, you remember--his proud, high spirit.
I believe he married some lady somewhere in Europe. You know they marry in such a peculiar matter-of-course way in Europe; a marriage of reason they call it. She died soon afterwards; as he said to me, she only flitted across his life. He has not been in New York for ten years; he came back a few days ago. The first thing he did was to ask me about you. He had heard you had never married; he seemed very much interested about that. He said you had been the real romance of his life."
Catherine had suffered her companion to proceed from point to point, and pause to pause, without interrupting her; she fixed her eyes on the ground and listened. But the last phrase I have quoted was followed by a pause of peculiar significance, and then, at last, Catherine spoke. It will be observed that before doing so she had received a good deal of information about Morris Townsend. "Please say no more; please don"t follow up that subject."
"Doesn"t it interest you?" asked Mrs. Penniman, with a certain timorous archness.
"It pains me," said Catherine.
"I was afraid you would say that. But don"t you think you could get used to it? He wants so much to see you."
"Please don"t, Aunt Lavinia," said Catherine, getting up from her seat. She moved quickly away, and went to the other window, which stood open to the balcony; and here, in the embrasure, concealed from her aunt by the white curtains, she remained a long time, looking out into the warm darkness. She had had a great shock; it was as if the gulf of the past had suddenly opened, and a spectral figure had risen out of it. There were some things she believed she had got over, some feelings that she had thought of as dead; but apparently there was a certain vitality in them still. Mrs. Penniman had made them stir themselves. It was but a momentary agitation, Catherine said to herself; it would presently pa.s.s away. She was trembling, and her heart was beating so that she could feel it; but this also would subside. Then, suddenly, while she waited for a return of her calmness, she burst into tears. But her tears flowed very silently, so that Mrs. Penniman had no observation of them. It was perhaps, however, because Mrs. Penniman suspected them that she said no more that evening about Morris Townsend.
CHAPTER x.x.xV
Her refreshed attention to this gentleman had not those limits of which Catherine desired, for herself, to be conscious; it lasted long enough to enable her to wait another week before speaking of him again. It was under the same circ.u.mstances that she once more attacked the subject. She had been sitting with her niece in the evening; only on this occasion, as the night was not so warm, the lamp had been lighted, and Catherine had placed herself near it with a morsel of fancy-work. Mrs. Penniman went and sat alone for half an hour on the balcony; then she came in, moving vaguely about the room.
At last she sank into a seat near Catherine, with clasped hands, and a little look of excitement.
"Shall you be angry if I speak to you again about HIM?" she asked.
Catherine looked up at her quietly. "Who is HE?"
"He whom you once loved."
"I shall not be angry, but I shall not like it."
"He sent you a message," said Mrs. Penniman. "I promised him to deliver it, and I must keep my promise."
In all these years Catherine had had time to forget how little she had to thank her aunt for in the season of her misery; she had long ago forgiven Mrs. Penniman for taking too much upon herself. But for a moment this att.i.tude of interposition and disinterestedness, this carrying of messages and redeeming of promises, brought back the sense that her companion was a dangerous woman. She had said she would not be angry; but for an instant she felt sore. "I don"t care what you do with your promise!" she answered.
Mrs. Penniman, however, with her high conception of the sanct.i.ty of pledges, carried her point. "I have gone too far to retreat," she said, though precisely what this meant she was not at pains to explain. "Mr. Townsend wishes most particularly to see you, Catherine; he believes that if you knew how much, and why, he wishes it, you would consent to do so."
"There can be no reason," said Catherine; "no good reason."
"His happiness depends upon it. Is not that a good reason?" asked Mrs. Penniman impressively.
"Not for me. My happiness does not."
"I think you will be happier after you have seen him. He is going away again--going to resume his wanderings. It is a very lonely, restless, joyless life. Before he goes he wishes to speak to you; it is a fixed idea with him--he is always thinking of it. He has something very important to say to you. He believes that you never understood him--that you never judged him rightly, and the belief has always weighed upon him terribly. He wishes to justify himself; he believes that in a very few words he could do so. He wishes to meet you as a friend."
Catherine listened to this wonderful speech without pausing in her work; she had now had several days to accustom herself to think of Morris Townsend again as an actuality. When it was over she said simply, "Please say to Mr. Townsend that I wish he would leave me alone."
She had hardly spoken when a sharp, firm ring at the door vibrated through the summer night. Catherine looked up at the clock; it marked a quarter-past nine--a very late hour for visitors, especially in the empty condition of the town. Mrs. Penniman at the same moment gave a little start, and then Catherine"s eyes turned quickly to her aunt. They met Mrs. Penniman"s and sounded them for a moment, sharply. Mrs. Penniman was blushing; her look was a conscious one; it seemed to confess something. Catherine guessed its meaning, and rose quickly from her chair.
"Aunt Penniman," she said, in a tone that scared her companion, "have you taken the LIBERTY . . . ?"
"My dearest Catherine," stammered Mrs. Penniman, "just wait till you see him!"
Catherine had frightened her aunt, but she was also frightened herself; she was on the point of rushing to give orders to the servant, who was pa.s.sing to the door, to admit no one; but the fear of meeting her visitor checked her.
"Mr. Morris Townsend."
This was what she heard, vaguely but recognisably articulated by the domestic, while she hesitated. She had her back turned to the door of the parlour, and for some moments she kept it turned, feeling that he had come in. He had not spoken, however, and at last she faced about. Then she saw a gentleman standing in the middle of the room, from which her aunt had discreetly retired.
She would never have known him. He was forty-five years old, and his figure was not that of the straight, slim young man she remembered.
But it was a very fine person, and a fair and l.u.s.trous beard, spreading itself upon a well-presented chest, contributed to its effect. After a moment Catherine recognised the upper half of the face, which, though her visitor"s cl.u.s.tering locks had grown thin, was still remarkably handsome. He stood in a deeply deferential att.i.tude, with his eyes on her face. "I have ventured--I have ventured," he said; and then he paused, looking about him, as if he expected her to ask him to sit down. It was the old voice, but it had not the old charm. Catherine, for a minute, was conscious of a distinct determination not to invite him to take a seat. Why had he come? It was wrong for him to come. Morris was embarra.s.sed, but Catherine gave him no help. It was not that she was glad of his embarra.s.sment; on the contrary, it excited all her own liabilities of this kind, and gave her great pain. But how could she welcome him when she felt so vividly that he ought not to have come? "I wanted so much--I was determined," Morris went on. But he stopped again; it was not easy. Catherine still said nothing, and he may well have recalled with apprehension her ancient faculty of silence. She continued to look at him, however, and as she did so she made the strangest observation. It seemed to be he, and yet not he; it was the man who had been everything, and yet this person was nothing.
How long ago it was--how old she had grown--how much she had lived!
She had lived on something that was connected with HIM, and she had consumed it in doing so. This person did not look unhappy. He was fair and well-preserved, perfectly dressed, mature and complete. As Catherine looked at him, the story of his life defined itself in his eyes; he had made himself comfortable, and he had never been caught.
But even while her perception opened itself to this, she had no desire to catch him; his presence was painful to her, and she only wished he would go.
"Will you not sit down?" he asked.
"I think we had better not," said Catherine.
"I offend you by coming?" He was very grave; he spoke in a tone of the richest respect.
"I don"t think you ought to have come."
"Did not Mrs. Penniman tell you--did she not give you my message?"
"She told me something, but I did not understand."
"I wish you would let ME tell you--let me speak for myself."
"I don"t think it is necessary," said Catherine.
"Not for you, perhaps, but for me. It would be a great satisfaction- -and I have not many." He seemed to be coming nearer; Catherine turned away. "Can we not be friends again?" he said.
"We are not enemies," said Catherine. "I have none but friendly feelings to you."
"Ah, I wonder whether you know the happiness it gives me to hear you say that!" Catherine uttered no intimation that she measured the influence of her words; and he presently went on, "You have not changed--the years have pa.s.sed happily for you."
"They have pa.s.sed very quietly," said Catherine.
"They have left no marks; you are admirably young." This time he succeeded in coming nearer--he was close to her; she saw his glossy perfumed beard, and his eyes above it looking strange and hard. It was very different from his old--from his young--face. If she had first seen him this way she would not have liked him. It seemed to her that he was smiling, or trying to smile. "Catherine," he said, lowering his voice, "I have never ceased to think of you."
"Please don"t say those things," she answered.
"Do you hate me?"
"Oh no," said Catherine.