UNA [jumping up in excitement]. Oh, Daddy! I"m so glad you were in. [To GEORGE who has risen, too.] Keep your seat. Draw up a chair, Dad--I"ve done it.
BRAITHEWAITE. Done what?
UNA [bringing up a chair and placing it to her right]. Do sit down, Dad.
He"s so delicious. He won"t sit down till we do--and you know how much they have to stand.
BRAITHEWAITE [looks at GEORGE and UNA and then sits in the chair allotted to him, whereupon UNA sits in hers and then GEORGE sits down].
Now, dear, what is it you have done?
UNA. Selected a husband.
[GEORGE moves a little uneasily. BRAITHEWAITE looks at GEORGE and then speaks to UNA.]
BRAITHEWAITE. You mean?
UNA [pointing to GEORGE]. Him! [GEORGE rises in discomfiture.] Do sit down. We"re all sitting now, you see. [GEORGE brings himself to sit down again.]
BRAITHEWAITE. But, my dear----
UNA. Now don"t say a word until you hear the whole story. You read that article by Shaw in the Metropolitan, didn"t you? I did. You remember what he wrote? "The best eugenic guide is the s.e.x attraction--the Voice of Nature." He thinks the trouble is at present that we dare not marry out of our own sphere. But I"ll show you exactly what he says. [She fusses in her handbag and pulls out a sheet of a magazine which she unfolds as she says:] I always carry the article with me. It"s so stimulating.
BRAITHEWAITE [protesting]. You"re not going to read me a whole Shaw article, are you? It"s five o"clock now and we"ve a dinner date at eight, dear.
UNA. It"s a Shaw article, not a Shaw preface. However, I"ll only read the pa.s.sage I"ve marked. Listen. [She reads.] "I do not believe you will ever have any improvement in the human race until you greatly widen the area of possible s.e.xual selection; until you make it as wide as the numbers of the community make it. Just consider what occurs at the present time. I walk down Oxford Street, let me say, as a young man." He might just as well have said, "young woman," you know.
BRAITHEWAITE. And?
UNA [continues reading], "I see a woman who takes my fancy." With me it would be a man, of course.
BRAITHEWAITE. For your purpose, of course.
UNA [continuing again]. "I fall in love with her. It would seem very sensible in an intelligent community that I should take off my hat and say to this lady: "Will you excuse me; but you attract me strongly, and if you are not already engaged, would you mind taking my name and address and considering whether you would care to marry me?"
[BRAITHEWAITE looks uncomfortably at GEORGE who looks uncomfortable, though amused, himself.] Now I have no such chance at present."
BRAITHEWAITE. Exactly. You see, he admits it.
UNA. Yes, but why shouldn"t I have the chance? That set me thinking. I decided he was right. I am intelligent, am I not?
BRAITHEWAITE. I refuse to commit myself, dear, until I hear all your story.
UNA. Well, I decided I"d make the chance. You see, I--I"ve been led to think recently that I ought to be getting married.
BRAITHEWAITE. May I ask why?
UNA. Yes, dear, but I"d rather not answer.
BRAITHEWAITE. I beg pardon.
UNA. And when I looked about me for the possibilities in my own set, I--[she makes a face]--well, I wasn"t attracted.
BRAITHEWAITE. I admit, in society, as a rule, the women grow stronger and the men weaker.
UNA. Exactly. And I knew you wanted to be a proud grandfather.
BRAITHEWAITE. You"re mistaken, dear. I hadn"t given the subject any thought; so I had no desires.
UNA. Well, I have... [BRAITHEWAITE slightly shows that he is perhaps shocked. UNA notices this and continues in explanation] given the subject a good deal of thought. I"ve spent days buying second-hand clothing to give away at the missions and lodging houses in order to have a look.
BRAITHEWAITE. At least there was charity in that.
UNA. Yes. You see I didn"t want charity to have to begin at my home.
Self-preservation is the first law of Nature.
BRAITHEWAITE. And self-propagation, I suppose, the second.
UNA. Well--the missions were no good. They were all so starved and pinched-looking there I couldn"t tell what they"d be like if they got proper nourishment. And I didn"t want to take a chance. So I went to some coal yards.
BRAITHEWAITE. To find the devil not so black as painted?
UNA [with a grimace]. Blacker! I couldn"t see what they looked like. Of course if I could have asked them to wash their faces.
BRAITHEWAITE [looking at GEORGE]. Considering what you have done, I don"t see----
UNA. I did ask one, but he made some vulgar remark about black dirt and red paint. So I left him.
BRAITHEWAITE. And then?
UNA. I spent all to-day riding up and down town in street cars. It"s very fascinating, Dad. All you can see for a nickel! I never realized what a public benefactor you were.
BRAITHEWAITE [modestly]. Oh, I am amply repaid.
UNA [in explanation to GEORGE]. Dad"s the president of your traction company, you know. [GEORGE rises in fright.] Oh, that"s all right. I"ve lost you your job, but I"ll get you a better one as I promised. Don"t be afraid of Dad--in the parlor. Sit down.
BRAITHEWAITE [to GEORGE]. You might as well make yourself physically comfortable, you know. There"s no telling how my daughter may make us feel in other ways.
[GEORGE sits down again, regaining his composure a little.]
BRAITHEWAITE [to UNA]. And so to-day you investigated travelling in street cars?
UNA. Yes. "Joy-riding," you know. Then I saw him--and decided. I knew he wouldn"t dare to propose to me--under existing conditions.
BRAITHEWAITE. So you asked him to marry you?
UNA. Certainly not. I"ve too much consideration for you, dear.
BRAITHEWAITE. But I thought you said----?
UNA. I decided to bring him home to get your consent first.