An abandoned hospital. A forgotten cemetery. Atunnel that had fallen into disuse. A sea of trees where the sun"s lightcouldn"t reach.
He wasn"t in any such place.
Let"s say it was a completely ordinaryshopping mall out in the sticks. The kind of place that would fill you withdéjà vu the first time you visited it, a ma.s.s-produced mall with the same kindsof stores as any other. But because it"s the most convenient one in the region,it"s lively in its own way, with money changing hands and people strollingabout.
That kind of place.
Masato Yahara was in such a place.
"Why are you in a place like this, Masato?"
""Cuz there"s nothing here."
"Nothing? It"s pretty lively, isn"t it?"
"Thengo on, try to imagine somewhere with nothing in it. No people. No shops. Nostreet lights. No streets. Does a place like that seem normal to you? Could yastay in a place like that without feeling anything? You couldn"t, could ya. Aplace like that"s already special. There"s somethin" called "nothingness"there. And nothingness has too much of an impact. It"s pretty d.a.m.n far fromfeeling like there"s nothing there."
"Soit"s like… it"s unnatural?"
"Yeah,basically. And I can"t stay in a place like that. I stand out toomuch against nothingness. I become special. And an incomplete existencelike me can"t stay like that."
"Sothat"s why you"re here?"
"Yup.Place like this lets me blend into day-to-day life, become h.o.m.ogenized, and notfeel anything. That"s what I mean by "there"s nothing here". ...Let"scall it "nil" to differentiate it from nothingness. Nil exists in places where Ican exist unconsciously. I"m always right next to you. But nil is foldedup real small, so it penetrates the little holes in our day-to-day life andmakes you forget about it."
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle.
"What"sthat noise? Does it have something to do with nil?"
"Yeah.That noise induces nil. As long as it exists, we"re gonna keep getting absorbedby nil."
"Is itbad if that happens?"
"What,you can"t f.u.c.kin" tell? In nil, even a dead guy like me can exist. h.e.l.l, Ican exist just as well as you can. So basically, the kinds of oblivious guyswho live snuggled up in nil are worth the same as if they were dead. It meanstheir lives have s.h.i.t for meaning or value."
"But,there"s lots of people like that."
"Exactly."
"Areyou one of them, Masato?"
"If I"mnot careful, I"ll get engulfed."
"Isthat why you tried to break free?"
"Basically.But I f.u.c.ked up."
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle.
What agrating noise. Every rattle makes me want to run away. It makes me want tosucc.u.mb to irritation.
"Masato…I can"t take it any more. I want to get out."
"Youcould probably actually make it, Kou. In the end, all I was was ordinary.I couldn"t escape the noise. But you"re different. You"re special,you"re abnormal. You can definitely make it out. I"m sure of it."
"But,what can I do?"
"Don"tworry."
Masatospoke with a kind smile. He"d never smiled like that when he was alive.
"Youalready know the way."
I, who was still just barely"me", was melting. Melting like an ice cream cone that had been abandoned undera blazing sun. Halfway between a liquid and a solid, I spreadunceremoniously across the ground and became worthless.
Becomingworthless like this was no good. I had to find a purpose again.Otherwise I would stop being human.
Thensomeone interrupted my dissolution from within, bringing along a sound thatresembled chains.
Goahead, do as you will.
I,Kouta Hiiragi, am "white".
I takeon the colors of others.
Go on,I"m right here!
Andthus.
MasatoYahara is right here.
Fromthen on, I acted automatically. I became no more than a machinecarrying out my duty. My field of view, perhaps the very world, became blurryand unclear. I didn"t know where to focus my sight. I couldn"tperceive the school grounds, which I should have been intimatelyfamiliar with, as anything but a meaning flabby ma.s.s. It was like the world hadbeen overlaid by a mosaic. I hadn"t lost any of my knowledge, so Iwas able to go through the motions of everyday life. Like an NPC movingaccording to its programming. But the ground felt unsteady. It felt unnaturaland unsettling, like the soles of my shoes were covered in a powerful gum.
Inaccordance with the order that had come from deep within me, I was onthe roof. Against a backdrop of twilight stained in week-old blood, I steppedsolidly on the oddly-dirty concrete and looked down upon the graduallydepopulating townscape. Lined up on the street was a stream of kei cars[1], allbeing sucked in by the flashiest building in town: the pac.h.i.n.ko parlor.
A cheapend to a cheap world.
Anobsolete townscape like that fit Shuuichi Akiyama perfectly. I wanted to dumpbird s.h.i.t all over his honors student"s gla.s.ses and post pictures of it onInstagram. It would be satisfying as h.e.l.l, and I bet it"d get quite theresponse.
Nowthen, I"m going to thoroughly divulge everything about Shuuichi Akiyama.I"m going to expose him, enumerate him, crush him piece by piece, andpulverize him.
"Whatdid you hope to accomplish by calling me all the way up here, Hiiragi?"
IgnoringAkiyama"s question, I spoke.
"Youcan come in now, Sudou."
Insteadof looking at the door she was coming through, I gauged Akiyama"sreaction. He was frantically hiding his emotions, but he couldn"t fully containthe look of surprise in his eyes.
"You"rethe girl who was with Yahara, aren"t you."
Notknowing how much I knew, he gave a fairly safe remark.
"She"sgiven me a lot to think about. ...First of all, out with it. Why didn"t youcome forward, even though you were the last one to see Masato?"
Akiyamagazed reproachfully at Sudou. Following his line of sight, I laid eyeson her for the first time since she"d arrived.
Herlong, unevenly-dyed hair was blowing in the wind, and she looked moredishevelled than before. She was pale again today, too. Her habit of raisingthe corners of her mouth was unchanged, but although that made it look like shewas smiling she was actually more frightened than normal.
She wasfrightened.
Not ofAkiyama, but of me.
"Yourmanner of speaking has become quite haughty, Hiiragi. Are you finally showingyour true colors? ...Well, that"s fine. As for your answer, it"s quite a simplematter. The reason I didn"t come forward was for her sake."
Thatwasn"t the answer I"d been expecting.
"Whatdo you mean? What in the world does she have to do with you not comingforward?"
"Hmph.It"s something of a delicate matter, so I was hoping not to have to say it, butnow that it"s come to this I suppose I have little choice. Our friend overthere had been seduced by Yahara and was on her way to a hotel with him. Istayed silent because I would feel bad if I revealed that fact to the world."
"Didn"tyou think that, just maybe, your testimony would be important to catching thekiller?"
"If Ideemed that to be the case, I would have ignored my qualms and come forwardimmediately. My testimony would have been worthless. By no means would it havehelped the investigation whatsoever."
"Way togo and decide that on your own. You never know what information might lead tothe killer, right?"
"Quiteso. They say that a b.u.t.terfly flapping its wings in one hemisphere can cause atornado in the other, and the same could of course be said about murderinvestigations. But when I weighed that small chance against that young lady"sprivacy, I chose the latter."
It wasa perfectly reasonable answer. And his voice had been steady throughout, almostas if he had been expecting the question.
Withthat, the reason I had initially suspected Akiyama vanished.
Butthat didn"t matter.
I no longer doubted Akiyama.
I had already decided that he wasthe killer.
"Christyou"re obnoxious. Just f.u.c.king confess already."
Takenaback at my harsh, exasperated words, Akiyama stiffened momentarily.
Mywords were simply the result of unintentional candor, but to Akiyama they musthave seemed like a tactic to rattle him, because he shut his mouth and put on acomposed expression.
Theconversation heading in the direction seemed favorable to me, so I madeno effort to correct his misinterpretation.
"Alright,next question then. When Yamazaki took his little fall, you were at the school,weren"t you. That"s what she claims."
Afterseemingly glaring at Sudou for an instant, he nodded with an, "Indeed."
"I wasquite fl.u.s.tered when I found out about the incident. I suppose I can"t blameyou for being suspicious of the fact that I was at the school when RyuusukeYamazaki fell from the roof. Although I was in the parking lot and not on theroof, I didn"t think that there was anyone who could corroborate my claim. I"mnot proud of it, but I had no choice but to protect myself. I had no idea thatthere was somebody who saw me in that parking lot."
"ApparentlyYamazaki was screaming. Why didn"t you notice anything?"
"That"sa difficult question to answer. I don"t have much to say beyond that I simplydidn"t notice. I was deep in thought at the time."
Akiyamaspread his arms exaggeratedly and shook his head.
Irritatedby his affected behavior, I heaved a heavy, antagonistic sigh.
"Wellthen, how do we want to do this… Alright, let"s go with that approach. Akiyama,do you believe in ghosts?"
Akiyama"seyes narrowed at my abrupt question.
"What"sthis, all of a sudden? Ghosts? Must I really answer that question?"
"Yeah."
"...Verywell then. Ghosts, hm. There are no shortage of people who believe in them, soI can"t just unconditionally write off their potential existence. However, Ifind it difficult to put much stock in something so unscientific. And with theproliferation of digital cameras, pictures and films of ghosts have beenreduced to little more than fabricated entertainment. That is about where Istand."
"Makessense. You would think that, wouldn"t you. But even if you don"t believe inthem, you wouldn"t exactly go around kicking gravestones, would you? And you"dstill get creeped out by Suicide Forest[2], wouldn"t you?"
"But ofcourse. Anyone would be on edge and seized by fear upon visiting SuicideForest."
"Right,so scared you wouldn"t have time to be deep in thought."
I couldhear Akiyama taking a deep breath. He was quick on the uptake and had probablyrealized the purpose of my roundabout line of questioning.
"Maybeit"s not on the same level as Suicide Forest. But a school at night is plentycreepy. An outrageous, distorted inst.i.tution that crams a bunch of kidstogether and gives them all the same instructions. When night rolls around,that distortion stands out bright. It creates an atmosphere that pushes peopleaway, so much so that someone once told me it was a barrier. It"s one thing fora bunch of people to come together and shoot off fireworks, but there"s no wayone guy"s gonna come to school alone at night and get lost in thought."
I stared coldly at Akiyama.
"Andyou wanna tell me that under those circ.u.mstances, you didn"t hear Yamazaki"sscream?"
After aslight pause, Akiyama replied.
"...Ididn"t hear it. I"m dumbfounded by my own thickheadedness."
Even ifforced to admit unseemly things, Akiyama still feigned innocence. Isupposed it was the proper reaction if he wanted to dodge the issue. Suspiciousas he was, this wouldn"t make for proof.
But Iwas cornering him bit by bit. I could see in his face that he waswondering if he had left behind any definitive evidence.
Heprobably didn"t realize it, but he was remarkably easy to read.
"Nextup, let"s figure out a way to make someone fall off the roof from down in theparking lot."
Akiyamaraised an eyebrow.
"...Doessuch a method even exist?"
Sudouinterjected almost reflexively.
"Ifit"s a trick you"re looking for, there"s plenty one could use. Just to makesure, Sudou, but all you saw was that Akiyama was in the parking lot, and notwhat he was doing. Is that right?"
"Y...yes…"
"As youcan see, the parking lot is pretty far from the roof. But, and you can confirmthis from here, there"s a clear line of sight, so you can easily see what"sgoing on up here from down there. And even though they"ve been talking aboutputting up a new fence up here for forever, there still isn"t one. There was anincident, so it makes even more sense now, but this place has been off-limitsfor a while. If you"re standing at the edge of the roof, all it"d take is alittle push and down you"d go."
I revealed what I had beenhiding in my pocket.
"Whatis that?"
Ianswered Sudou, whose face showed visible signs of relief.
"It"sthe remote for a drone."
As Iflicked a switch and tilted a lever, the drone I had placed on the roofahead of time took off. There was a cord of red yarn attached to its camera,the other end of which was firmly fastened around the doork.n.o.b.
"Sudou,would you mind not moving for a bit? I"m a beginner at this whole dronething, so flying this is a little tough."
Asinstructed, Sudou stiffened her body. I then maneuvered the dronetowards her back. As the yarn drew taught, Sudou received a solid thump to theback and stumbled a step forwards.
If shehad been on the edge of the roof, she would have certainly fallen.
"Ichose red yarn so it"d be easy to see, but it would be even more feasible withsomething stronger like piano wire. If you operated it well, you could easilyuse this setup to push Yamazaki and send him off the edge."
As Iunveiled the trick, Akiyama just stared silently at me.
But hislips had lost their tension.
"...Fufu."
Littleby little, his mask was peeling off. I could almost hear the tearingsound. His hideous true self distorted and expanded, making it impossible forthe mask to stay on. His naked expression laid bare his exclusive true form.
Nomatter how hard he tried to conceal it, he could hide it no more.
—Akiyamawas broken.
Ahh… Iwas successful.
My goalof exposing him was steadily coming to fruition.
"Hiiragi,I"m disappointed in you."
"Howso?"
I posed my question, stillsneering.
"Youdon"t realize it? Your trick is riddled with holes. First of all, operating adrone like that at night is impossible. Was the sky clear that day? I don"tremember, but even if it had been possible to make out the drone by moonlight,it would be far too difficult to maneuver the drone exactly as you wanted. Justas you yourself were struggling just now. In order to put this trick of yoursinto practice, you would need to practice during the day to even have a chanceat pulling it off. But this is a school. If you tried to do that, even on aholiday, you would be sure to catch someone"s attention. Practicing would beimpossible. And the final nail in your coffin is the noise from the propeller.It"s inconceivable that, being at the scene of the incident, she would haveheard the scream but not the propeller."
"Well,you"re not wrong."
"Andfurthermore, I own nothing resembling a drone. If you look into it, you canverify that easily."
Havingtrounced my crude trick, his face filled with triumph.
Histriumphant face was so comical, I couldn"t help but let out a scornfullaugh.
"What"sso funny?"
"Don"tgo jumping to conclusions on me, now. I mean, I wanted to seewhat kind of face you"d make, so I let you just to conclusions, butstill. Who the h.e.l.l said anything about you killing Yamazaki with this trick? Itold you, didn"t I. There"s plenty of tricks one could use."
"Whatdo you mean by that?"
"Whatwas I trying to prove with this experiment? There are certainly ways tomake Yamazaki fall while you"re in the parking lot. But they"re all meaninglesstricks like that one. This isn"t some mystery novel; even if the trick isn"texposed, once you"re suspected that"s it for you. The cops"ll take you in oncirc.u.mstantial evidence, and once you confess during the interrogation,n.o.body"ll care about how elaborate your trick was. The minute you let yourselffall under suspicion, your plan failed. And you know that just as well as Ido. But you let your misgivings get the best of you, and you ended up at theschool that night."
The oneI looked at now was not Akiyama but Sudou. Just as I predicted,her look of relief from earlier had vanished, replaced once more by paleness.
"Inother words, this incident was beyond your expectations."
I went on, sneering all thewhile.
"Therewere two points I was trying to make there. The first is that this placeis so dangerous, even a lame trick like my stunt with the drone couldlegitimately kill someone. The next is that if someone pushed Yamazaki, even byaccident, he could easily have fallen."
I slapped Yamazaki"s killer onthe back.
"Isn"tthat right, Sudou?"
"—eep."
Sudouhad been terrified when she was talking to me. She had been desperately tryingto avoid having me suspect that she was hiding something.
Butthere was no way she could hide something like that from the "white" KoutaHiiragi.
"Sudou,you referred to Akiyama as "the bespectacled guy" as if you didn"t know who hewas, right? But given how obsessed with Masato you were, you were looking forleads regarding his murder, right? The minute you decided to seek out thetruth, it would have been obvious what you needed to look into first. The lastperson to interact with Masato, his cla.s.smate with the gla.s.ses. ShuuichiAkiyama. It would be absurd for you to look into me before you investigatedhim, don"t you think?"
"...Uu,ah..."
"Butyou hid that fact from me. It goes without saying that that was because thatinformation was inconvenient for you. You thought that if I talked toAkiyama in any detail, my suspicions about Yamazaki"s killer would turn toyou."
Perhapsto keep her from confessing, Akiyama moved between myself and Sudou as iftrying to conceal her. Although she was trying to feign composure, she couldn"tbegin to contain her trembling. What a shy girl she was.
"So inshort, I ordered Sudou to push Yamazaki off the roof. Is that what you want tosay? Why, I didn"t even have a motive for wanting Yamazaki dead."
"Oh,but you did. He was complicit in Masato"s death, right? I bet you madehim transport the body."
Thatwas probably what had happened. Akiyama"s reactions had already pa.s.sed surpriseand moved to downright panic. But no matter how obvious it was, he stillfrantically tried to keep up appearances.
"...Thatdelusion of yours likely stems from having seen Yamazaki looking for me theother day. But we can set your delusions aside for a moment. Now,hypothetically speaking, let"s say that I did have a motive for wanting himdead. Even then, how could I induce her to kill? We aren"t even acquaintances,so there"s no way she would follow such a command. And even if I had convincedher, don"t you think it a bit odd that I would go out of my way to come toschool at the time of the murder?"
"Youjust don"t know when to give up, do you. I just said it; this incident wasbeyond your expectations. Sudou never had any intention of killing Yamazaki.His fall was nothing more than an accident."
"Yourspeculations become more and more preposterous. There are simply too manycoincidences in your theory. Whether or not there was a fence, there"s no wayhe"d simply fall."
"Thefirst thing we have to figure out is why the two of them were on the roof inthe first place. It"s off-limits, and what"s more, it was late at night. Ofcourse, the meeting must have been arranged beforehand, but it"s difficult toimagine Sudou having any reason to meet with Yamazaki directly. The one she wasreally on the roof to meet was you, Akiyama."
Akiyamascrunched up his face a bit.
"Sudouwas probably pretty surprised when she got to the roof and found out she"d beentricked. Some happened that was so surprising that she accidentally pushed himoff. ...Now, this is just me guess, but did it perhaps seem like Yamazaki wasgoing to rape her?"
Sudouwas trembling and holding herself tightly. Based on her behavior, it lookedlike my speculation was on the mark.
"Imean, it"s Yamazaki we"re talking about. He was probably shaking you down forhush money, so you decided to take advantage of his greed. "I can"t get you themoney now, but I can get you a girl instead." Something along those lines,right?"
"I… Hetold me that a man was waiting for me on the roof who could tell me about themurder…"
"Well,of course you didn"t know about the give-and-take that you were being made apart of. And after being attacked by Yamazaki, you resisted. And because youdon"t go to this school, and because it was late at night and hard to see, youprobably didn"t realize that there wasn"t a fence. So you pushed Yamazaki awaywith all your might, and—"
Splat.
"Heended up falling to his death."
"Ah,ahhhh…"
Sudoucollapsed on the spot.
Herobsession with Masato hadn"t been the only cause of her poor condition. Even ifit hadn"t been intentional, the sin of murder still weighed heavy on her. That,combined with the fact that she had to hide it from me, must have put enormouspressure on her.
Akiyamagazed at Sudou"s fallen figure, his eyes as cold as if he were looking attrash.
"Akiyama"strue objective in calling Sudou to the roof wasn"t to have her kill Yamazaki.His plan was to become your ally after you had been raped, then to add you as apartner under the pretext of taking revenge on Yamazaki. Even if he couldn"tinspire you to want to kill Yamazaki, he was hoping to at least trick you tothe point where he would be able to use you. I can only guess at how heeventually planned on killing Yamazaki, but plenty of methods would haveworked. For example, he could have given you a lethal poison to give toYamazaki but told you it was a sleep medication. He could have told you toshoot Yamazaki with a model gun, only for the gun he provided to be real. Thosewere just off the top of my head, but you get the idea. The moment he made youhis partner, Akiyama"s plan would have been basically put into place. He wouldmake you kill Yamazaki while he maintained a firm alibi. That was all heneeded. ...And after that, well… Sudou, Akiyama never gave you a way to contacthim, did he?"
Stillsitting on the ground, Sudou nodded.
"Do youknow why? Because it would be a problem for him if it could be proven that youtwo ever interacted. All he had to do to avoid suspicion from the police was tomake them think the two of you hadn"t met by the time you were made to killYamazaki."
"B-butI myself knew… And if the police caught me, there"s no way I"d be able to keepsilent…"
"Allthat means is that he had to kill you before it got to that point. Like, youkilled Yamazaki out of hatred for him raping you, but then you couldn"t bearthe weight of your sins and committed suicide. He probably planned on usingsome plausible scenario like that."
Sudou"seyes went wide, and she looked at Akiyama.
Akiyamano longer took any notice of her.
"Why isit, I wonder? For some reason, I know exactly how this b.a.s.t.a.r.dthinks. Sudou, why do you think he chose you as an accomplice in the first place?It"s because you"re the kind of person he wouldn"t mind throwing to the wolves…h.e.l.l, he probably thinks that you deserve to die. After all, you were gonnasleep with Masato Yahara the first time you met him. After all, men arecreatures who view unchaste women as worthless. That"s why so many serialkillers go after hookers; they barely feel any guilt. I"m sure that"swhy Akiyama thought you"d make an excellent "stepping stone" for him to carryout justice with."
Sudoucould no longer bear to even look at Akiyama.
"Yourwords are all baseless. You"ve managed to spin quite the tale, especially inthe face of the fact that she wasn"t even raped."
But hisvoice sounded like he lacked the will to even bluff.
"Thenlet"s not talk about your plans, and talk about what you actually did instead.After she killed Yamazaki, your biggest concern was that Sudou would turnherself in. After she did, all your crimes would be exposed one after another.You probably wanted to kill her, huh. And to buy time until then, you pretendedto lend a sympathetic ear, lied and said you"d help her, and ordered her not totell anyone else. You wouldn"t be able to handle it if any information got out,after all."
I glanced at Sudou"s expressionto confirm my theory, but she was staring off into s.p.a.ce and no longerresponsive.
"ButSudou didn"t follow your directions, she came and talked to me before you couldkill her. She wanted to know the truth of the incident so badly she couldn"thelp herself. And you can hardly blame her, after the curse Masato put on her.That"s something you needed to realize if you were going to use her. But thisis you we"re talking about. You"re probably under the misimpression thatSudou"s idiocy let me figure out the truth. But that"s completely wrong. Afterall, you were the one trying to use her. Your big failure was not realizingthat she would come talk to me despite being told to keep quiet. That was yourmistake."
Stillgrinning, I spit out my next words.
"Get itnow, you incompetent excuse for a cla.s.s rep?"
"...Me?Incompetent?"
At thatprovocation, Akiyama"s previously controlled expression shifted radically.
Ofcourse. Questioning his ability to carry out his duty would resonate with himmore than anything else. His pride was far too high to ever admit to his ownfailure. To that end, he was even willing to disfigure the truth.
"Impossible.Every choice I made was correct and proper. I could not possibly haveblundered. This incompetent girl simply stood in my way and made a mess ofeverything!"
Unableto contain his rage, Akiyama foolishly acknowledged everything he"d done. A wrylaugh escaped my lips.
"Nah, that"snot it. You just weren"t up to snuff. You"re just fundamentally bad at usingothers. And you"re definitely no magus. It"s you we"re talking about, afterall. You seem to think that everyone else lives under the same value system youdo. You can only measure with your own scales, so nothing ever goes the way youplan. Come on, man, not everyone lives in the same d.a.m.n world as you."
"You"rebabbling. There only is one world, is there not? Everyone lives in the sameworld."
"Yousee a rabbit pounding mochi when you look at the moon, of course you"dthink that. You don"t understand a d.a.m.n thing about what people are like behindclosed doors. So you can"t understand anything about other people. If you wantto understand people, you have to start by realizing that you can never reallyknow everything about someone. But you"ll probably never really understandthat, huh."
Inresponse to my words, Akiyama knit his eyebrows. But before long, he let out alaugh that would put any B movie villain to shame.
"What,did I hurt your feelings or something?"
"Fufu…It seems I was right after all. Your remarks reveal your dogged insistence onmanipulating others. You really do like manipulating others into doing yourdirty work, don"t you? And you riled up all of our campus"s freaks for sport.Of course, Masato Yahara was one of them. Depending on how you look at it,perhaps he was a victim too. You were the ringleader behind this wholeincident, evil in the flesh. So I suppose you learning the truth of thisincident—"
His eyes,glittering with a dull light like the scales of a fresh fish, turned to me.
"—wasmerely a blessing in disguise."
Ahh,this guy.
Hereally didn"t understand anything.
Hedidn"t even realize that his malice far surpa.s.sed that of anyone else.
"Whyare you smiling, Hiiragi? It seems you don"t realize the situation you"re in."
"You"rethe one who doesn"t know what"s going on. Did you really think I justcalled you up here to tell you that I knew everything?"
"...Areyou saying you didn"t?"
"I"mnot planning on handing you over to the police. I have no intention ofbeing so lenient. To be honest, I don"t even give a s.h.i.t if you"rereally the killer. I just can"t stand you, so I"m going tocompletely pulverize you. But even though I"ve already exposed so much,you haven"t shown a hint of remorse. You just got all defiant and went back toyour little make-believe world. Honestly, I didn"t think you were goingto be this stupid, you f.u.c.king jacka.s.s."
I pulled out my phone.
"So nowyou"ve left me with no choice but to rely on my last resort."
I called a certain number. Ihad made them promise to come as soon as they received a call from me.
As Iput my phone away, I spread my arms and laughed.
"Nowthen, let"s see how much filthy pus you"ve got built up in there."
Footstepsrang out from the stairs, and the door to the roof swung open.
"Kusukusu…kusukusukusu…"
Thegirl seemed unable to contain her peculiar laugh, which sounded like it wascoming from a gap in her teeth, in antic.i.p.ation of what we were about to do.
"Hiiragi,I"m here!"
Herbangs were cut diagonally, and her hair was braided in the back. Her childlikeface and short stature contrasted with her large bust, she was a deeplyimmoral-looking high schooler.
Twistingeven her malice into innocence, her unsullied mind was that of a saintly fool.
An"apparatus" I had been keeping in reserve.
Herrainbow-colored eyes looked like a drainage ditch filled with salad oil, and asshe turned them to Akiyama she raised her voice in disappointment.
"...Ehh…Like, there"s a sorta boring guy here… Hiiragi, you said there"d be somethinginteresting up here, but this guy"s just a common old dull red."
Confused,Akiyama was clearly panicking.
Upuntil now, Akiyama had always planned on retaking the initiative. No matter howclose I got to the truth, all he thought he had to do was eventuallykill me.
But inspite of how dense he was, he realized. That now that Ririko Matsumi, who hadthe power to destroy everything, was here, the situation had changed. That now,the place he was standing was no longer his stage.
Therewas no way someone like him knew of an easy way to control this twisted world,which was like a candy sculpture halfway through production.
"Atthis rate, Akiyama, if I just shove the truth in front of you, you"djust pervert it to suit your own self-righteousness and escape the violence I"mtrying to cause you. If I want to crush you, I first have toteach you how to be afraid, or I"m not going to get anywhere. ....Matsumi-senpai."
"Ayeaye!"
Glaringat Shuuichi Akiyama, I spit out my next words.
"ScanShiho Sudou."
Stillsitting in shock, Sudou raised her head in surprise. She probably hadn"texpected to be thrust into the spotlight again. But it couldn"t be helped. Shewas clearly a member of the supporting cast here.
Andnow, she would taking the starring role.
"Sorry,Shiho Sudou."
I wasn"t even looking at theuninteresting girl.
"Thiswas the real reason I brought you here. Just like how there needs to bea scene where someone dies at the beginning of any killing game novel, thereneeded to be a tutorial for Akiyama here."
So forthe sake of the story, I need you to fall into despair.
"So Ijust have to scan that girl over there? Okey dokey—"
In herinnocence, Matsumi-senpai hadn"t picked up on any of my malice. I simplytripped her kindness and regressed her from a human to a machine.
"Beepbibibi, beep beep bibibibibi."
Hereyes went out of focus. But she was definitely perceiving Shiho Sudou"s core.
"What?What"s going on?"
Anyonewatching would no doubt be confused. Even if you didn"t know exactly what shewas doing, it was clear that it was nothing good. Even if you couldn"t tellwhat was inside the jack-in-the-box, it definitely wasn"t going to be anythingpleasant.
"Beep bibibi, beep beep bibibibibi. ⸻Scanningcomplete."
"Goodwork, Senpai. Now, would you mind verbalizing it for us?"
"Sure!"
Sudoutrembled in fear at Ririko Matsumi"s eccentricity. She had been used byAkiyama, made to bear his sins, and now I was going to crush her. What apitiable girl she was.
I felt guilty.
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle.
Butthose feelings of guilt were drowned out by the auditory hallucinations.
"SHIHOSUDOU, age sixteen."
Wouldshe have known that name, even if I hadn"t told her? I onlyhalf-knew how her scanning even worked.
"Asecond-year at the private Sakisei Academy. Lives with her birth mother, herstepfather, and her older stepbrother. Her house has four bedrooms. Her room,which is on the second floor, is so messy that there"s nowhere to stand. Herfather is a civil servant, her mother is a housewife, and their family financesare stable. Her clingy nature makes her disastrously bad at reading the mood,and she doesn"t have many friends. Her few friends often betray her. She doesnot currently have a boyfriend, but she has slept with two men."
"Huh?What? What"s going on…?"
Sudoustill didn"t understand what had just been begun. Judging from her pale lips,all she understood was that it was something terrifying.
"Presumingthat she is involved, she is thoroughly obsessed with Masato Yahara"s incident.She killed Ryuusuke Yamazaki by pushing him off this roof. She has tried tokill herself twice before. However, not even her parents showed her anysympathy. She is lonely. She is lonely. She has a strong inferiority complex inregards to her looks and academic ability."
Thethings she tried to hide, the things she needed to hide, were being exposed infront of all of us.
Nolonger able to even speak, Sudou"s eyes were bugging out at Matsumi-senpai asthough she were looking at the Devil.
"Shehas both been bullied and bullied others. She strongly desires power. She fearsthe strong, yet is jealous of them, and she finds the weak rea.s.suring, yetdespises them. She lacks willpower. She is bad at forming habits. She is not amorning person. She dislikes using stamps on LINE. She enjoys spending time onp.o.r.nographic websites."
People,surprisingly, don"t know themselves particularly well. So when a fortunetelleror a swindler makes surprising inferences from just their personality, theybelieve in the illusion that their true nature had been probed into.
Butwhat Ririko Matsumi does is expose them objectively.
Everyonewants to believe that they"re special. They want to possess some sort of uniqueident.i.ty. Some would even go so far as to say that not being special is thesame as being worthless.
Butalthough this may seem obvious, the vast majority of people aren"t anythingeven approaching special. And whether they are or not, they"re too small toever change the world. One person can"t save the world, nor can they destroyit.
AndShiho Sudou was no exception. What became eminently clear when her true naturewas exposed like this was that she was the kind of common, ordinary person thatyou could find anywhere. The reality of it was that she was inferior, notsuperior.
She had been trying to avoid looking straight atthat reality despite becoming gradually aware of it, but now it had been firmlythrust upon her.
"Shehas been coerced a number of times by her NEET brother to have physicalrelations. Although she despises him, she relishes the feeling of beingdesired. Her father also views her in a s.e.xual light. She is aware that hermother is jealous of her as a woman. As a result, she doesn"t feel like herhome is somewhere she belongs. She hates her home. She doesn"t feel like herschool is somewhere she belongs. She hates her school. She doesn"t feel likesociety is somewhere she belongs. She hates the world for being unkind to her.She wishes it were kinder to her. She wishes she were held more dearly. But shedoesn"t care. She doesn"t care what happens to her. But she doesn"t want to beignored. She wants to be saved. She wants to be saved—"
"Stopit! Stop it already! Stop, stop, stop!"
Wailing,Sudou tried to lunge at Matsumi-senpai. But I had antic.i.p.ated that, andstopped her by holding her down. She soon stopped resisting and, drained ofstrength, collapsed on the spot.
Withoutmoving, Sudou began crying like an animal.
Theexposed viscera inside her was unsurprisingly grotesque. That was all there wasto it, but that alone was as intense as could be.
"Wah.Why are you crying? Now I feel all sorry…"
RirikoMatsumi had no idea how cruel a thing it was to expose somebody to the world.And she could hardly be blamed for that; to her, being able to see everythingwas the only condition she knew.
Lookingdown on the sobbing Shiho Sudou, I felt like I understood why shehad been to fixed on on Masato"s incident.
ShihoSudou was full of openings. And she didn"t much care what she filled thoseholes with. She just needed something that let her believe that her existencewas important.
So sheembroiled herself in a murder investigation, thinking that perhaps she couldplay a key role. It was a tragedy, but ironically therein lie the meaning thatshe had been seeking. By pursuing the truth behind the incident, she couldescape from the idleness she felt plaguing her life.
It wasno secret that she was full of openings. And regrettably, everyone around hertook advantage of them. Her family did, her cla.s.smates did, Masato Yahara did,Shuuichi Akiyama did, and I did. Without someone to protect them, aperson with such openings had no choice but to used by others.
—Someoneto protect them.
—Aperson filled with openings.
It wasan a.s.sessment I had heard somewhere before.
But Iwasn"t going to think too deeply about it.
In anycase, Shiho Sudou wouldn"t be able to go back to normal after having her heartrudely trampled all over like that. Once a person has their existence put intowords and forced upon them, they can no longer flee from their sins. She wouldprobably end up turning herself in, after which the inquisitive eyes of boththe media and the world would see her as a murderer and violate her by diggingup her past and family circ.u.mstances. I didn"t know if she"d be able torecover from that or not.
ShihoSudou"s end was here.
"Mycondolences."
I put my hands togetherperfunctorily.
"Nowthen, what"s become of you?"
I turned to face Akiyama. Just asI expected, his face had gone pale and he was trembling in fear.
He musthave known instinctive what would happen if his insides got exposed.
"...Youractions cannot help but confirm it. The one who induced Yahara to try to killme was you — Kouta Hiiragi."
I heaved a sigh in exasperationat his inane comment.
"Areyou still going on about that? In the first place, aren"t you the onewho killed Masato?"
"Thefact that he tried to kill me is beyond a doubt the truth."
So inother words, the reason he ended up killing Masato was because Masato tried tokill him first and he fought back?
...Thatmakes sense. The last piece of the puzzle slid into place.
"Okay,I get it now. What"s manipulating you — no, what"s manipulating all ofus, what"s controlling us, isn"t me. I don"t have that kind of power."
"What…?"
"Thething that led us all to this point is Masato."
Akiyama"seyes widened.
"In away, we"re victims of the bomb he set off. I got dyed in him, and yougot destroyed by him."
"...Yousay I was destroyed?"
"Wouldjajust f.u.c.king notice it already? You"re pretty far off-sync with your idealself. Off-sync with your sensible, exemplary self. Think about it. You"ve beengoing around killing people you see as evil. Is that really in line with yourideals? Is a barbaric ideology like that really your idea of justice?"
Hiseyes still wide, Akiyama didn"t say a word.
All hehad to do was self-reflect for an instant and he"d know the answer.
Therewas no way that"s what his ideals looked like.
"Thatwhat was it that made you like this? Did you really think that killing me andYamazaki was the right thing to do? Whose idea was that?"
That"sright, Shuuichi, remember.
I don"t even need to invoke hisname. Those feelings that you"re fleeing from were your true feelings allalong.
Nowthen — tremble in fear.
"Matsumi-senpai.Scan Shuuichi Akiyama for me, would you?"
Andfall into despair.
"Yougot it!"
RirikoMatsumi was an insane, deadly weapon. It was the Devil"s own magic, and itcould thoroughly drive Akiyama into a corner.
"Beepbibi, beep bibibi…"
"...Stopit…"
"Beepbibibi, beep bibibi…"
"STOPITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
In afit of madness, Akiyama lunged at Matsumi-senpai.
"Kyah!"
Returningto her senses, Matsumi-senpai gave out a shriek. Akiyama was leaning over hercollapsed figure with his fists raised. Her unseemly shriek was only natural.
I drew near Akiyama. Taking noheed of me, Akiyama was about to continue hitting Matsumi-senpai — continuehitting the truth that was about to be revealed, but he stopped when he noticedwhat I was pressing against him.
"Kouta,Hiiragi… You"re…"
I was pressing a fruit knifeagainst the nape of his neck.
"...Youunderstand, right? I"m dead serious. If you keep getting violent likethis, you"re going to find your neck short a few arteries."
Althougha moment ago she had been being punched and looked as though she was about tocry, the fear vanished from Matsumi-senpai"s face in an instant and wasreplaced with surprised glee.
"Huh?What"s going on, what"s going on?"
Hercheeks lit up in excitement.
"Tanihara"ssupposed to be dead, so why are you him?"
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle.
Theblade still flush with his nape, Akiyama peered into my eyes.
"You"renot Kouta Hiiragi… Masato Yahara…? No, that"s ridiculous… But now that I thinkback, everything you"ve done and said has been just like him. You"re evenputting a knife to me the same way he did."
"Well,that"s "cause I am Masato Yahara."
"...Areyou saying that you"re acting as his proxy?"
"Oh,it"s nothing so half-a.s.sed as that. All I have to do is ask, and Kou"llgive over his body in a heartbeat. I am Masato Yahara himself."
"Whywould you do something like that!?"
"Forrevenge, of course."
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle.
"That"swhy I didn"t care about exposing your crimes. My true objective, wellthat"s—"
"—totrample over Shuuichi Akiyama"s body and spirit, then kill him."
Akiyamawas silent. He knew very well the danger he was in.
Afterall, we had both had our moral foundations destroyed by Masato Yahara.
"If Ihave her scan you, it"ll definitely destroy your spirit, but that won"t even benecessary. Just explaining how messed up in the head you are will be plenty."
I in close to his ear andwhispered.
"You"rean honors student, and you believe that everything you do is just. That in andof itself proves that your self-a.s.sessment is soft. You spend so much timepreparing escape routes for yourself, arming yourself with ideologicalarguments. Even when you committed the grave sin of murder, you couldn"t bearnot justifying it. Even though you normally would have thought it insane, youhad to build up a desire to kill us."
"...Stopit...Not another word…"
I had no intention of stopping.
"Afteryou killed me, you had no choice but to rationalize murder."
I spat out the phrase that wouldfinalize his destruction.
"Younever really wanted to kill me."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle. Rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle.
G.o.d,it"s obnoxious.
Thisguy"s chains really are louder than anyone else"s.
Theknife was in my hand. Akiyama could no longer resist. There was no reason tohesitate. One push, and my revenge would be complete. There wasn"t a singlereason to waver. There wasn"t a single thing that could stop me. All Ihad to do was slash a shattered man with a knife. It was as simple as that.
I put my strength into the handholding the knife.
I just needed to give in to mydesire to kill.
And Icould finally escape from this "nil," this feeling that I was in ama.s.s-produced shopping mall!
"Noooooooo!"
I could hear footsteps runningtowards me, along with a voice I recognized.
Butcompared to the voice—
—Rattle,rattle. Rattle, rattle. Rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,rattle, rattle.
Thesound of chains was far louder.