He was only nineteen when he renounced religion altogether; he and my father had a great dispute, and the end of it was that Luke was sent away from home, and I never have seen him since. He has become a very notorious infidel lecturer. Jean was very much unsettled by his change of views, and I believe her real reason for marrying old Mr. Craigie was that she had made him promise to let her see Luke again. She married young and settled down in London, and when, in a few years, her husband died, she too, renounced Christianity."
To tell the truth, Rose was not deeply interested in the story, it fell a little flat after her expectations of a tragedy. It had, moreover, a sort of missionary flavor, and she had till the last few months lived in India, and had grown heartily tired of the details of mission work, in which both her father and mother had been interested. Conversions, relapses, heathenism, belief and unbelief were words which had sounded so often in her ears that now they bored her; as they were the merest words to her it could hardly be otherwise. But Rose"s best point was her loyalty to her own family, she had the "clan" feeling very strongly, and she could not understand how her mother could have allowed such a complete estrangement to grow up between her and her nearest relations.
"Mamma," she said, quickly, "I should have gone to see Uncle Luke if I had been you."
"It is impossible, dear," replied Mrs. Fane-Smith. "Your father would not allow it for one thing, and then only think what people would say!
This is partly my reason for telling you, Rose; I want to put you upon your guard. We heard little or nothing of your uncle when we were in India, but you will find it very different here. He is one of the most notorious men in England; you must never mention his name, never allude to him, do you understand me?"
"Is he then so wicked?"
"My dear, consider what his teaching is, that is sufficient; I would not for the whole world allow our Greyshot friends to guess that we are connected with him in any way. It might ruin all your prospects in life."
"Mamma," said Rose, "I don"t think Mr. Raeburn will injure my prospects--of course you mean prospects of marrying. If a man didn"t care enough for me to take me whether I am the niece of the worst man in England or not, do you think I would accept him?"
There was an angry ring in her voice as she spoke, her little saucy mouth looked almost grand. After a moment"s pause, she added, more quietly, but with all the force of the true woman"s heart which lay hidden beneath her silliness and frivolity, "Besides, mamma, is it quite honest?"
"We are not bound to publish our family history to the world, Rose. If any one asked me, of course I should tell the truth; if there was any way of helping my brother or his child I would gladly serve them, even though the world would look coldly on me for doing so; but while they remain atheists how is it possible?"
"Then he has a child?"
"One only, I believe, a girl of about your own age."
"Oh, mamma, how I should like to know her!"
"My dear Rose, how can you speak of such a thing? You don"t realize that she is an atheist, has not even been baptized, poor little thing!"
"But she is my cousin, and she is a girl just like me," said Rose. "I should like to know her very much. I wonder whether she has come out yet. I wonder how she enjoyed her first ball."
"My dear! They are not in society."
"How dull! What does she do all day, I wonder?"
"I cannot tell, I wish you would not talk about her, Rose; I should not wish you even to think about her, except, indeed, to mention her in your prayers."
"Oh, I"d much rather have her here to stay," said Rose, with a little mischievous gleam in her eyes.
"Rose!"
"Why mamma, if she were a black unbeliever you would be delighted to have her; it is only because she is white that you won"t have anything to do with her. You would have been as pleased as possible if I had made friends with any of the ladies in the Zenanas."
Mrs. Fane-Smith looked uncomfortable, and murmured that that was a very different question. Rose, seeing her advantage, made haste to follow it up.
"At any rate, mamma, you will write to Uncle Luke now that he is in trouble, and you"ll let me send a note to his daughter? Only think, mamma, she has lost her mother so suddenly! Just think how wretched she must be! Oh, mamma, dear, I can"t think how she can bear it!" and Rose threw her arms round her mother"s neck. "I should die too if you were to die! I"m sure I should."
Rose was very persuasive, Mrs. Fane-Smith"s motherly heart was touched; she sat down there and then, and for the first time since the summer day when Luke Raeburn had been turned out of his father"s house, she wrote to her brother. Rose in the meantime had taken a piece of paper from her mother"s writing desk, and with a fat volume of sermons by way of a desk was scribbling away as fast as she could. This was her letter:
"My dear cousin,--I don"t know your name, and have only just heard anything about you, and the first thing I heard was that you were in dreadful trouble. I only write to send you my love, and to say how very sorry I am for you. We only came to England in the autumn. I like it very much. I am going to my first ball tonight, and expect to enjoy it immensely. My dress is to be white tarle--Oh, dear! How horrid of me to be writing like this to you. Please forgive me. I don"t like to be so happy when you are unhappy; but, you see, I have only just heard of you, so it is a little difficult. With love, I remain, your affectionate cousin, Rose Fane-Smith."
That evening, while Erica, with eyes dim with grief and weariness, was poring over the books in her father"s study, Rose was being initiated into all the delights of the ballroom. She was in her glory. Everything was new to her; she enjoyed dancing, she knew that she looked pretty, knew that her dress was charming, knew that she was much admired, and of course she liked it all. But the chaperons shook their heads; it was whispered that Miss Fane-Smith was a terrible flirt, she had danced no less than seven dances with Captain Golightly. If her mother erred by thinking too much of what people said, perhaps Rose erred in exactly the opposite way; at any rate, she managed to call down upon her silly but innocent little head an immense amount of blame from the mothers and elderly ladies.
"A glorious moonlight night," said Captain Golightly. "What do you say, Miss Fane-Smith? Shall we take a turn in the garden? Or are you afraid of the cold?"
"Afraid! Oh, dear no," said Rose; "it"s the very thing I should enjoy. I suppose I must get my shawl, though; it is upstairs."
They were in the vestibule.
"Have my ulster," said Captain Golightly. "Here it is, just handy, and it will keep you much warmer."
Rose laughed and blushed, and allowed herself to be put into her partner"s coat, rather to the detriment of her billowy tarletan. After a while they came back again from the dim garden to the brightly lighted vestibule, and as ill luck would have it, chanced to encounter a stream of people going into the supper room. Every one stared at the apparition of Miss Fane-Smith in Captain Golightly"s coat. With some difficulty she struggled out of it, and with very hot cheeks sought shelter in the ballroom.
"How dreadfully they looked! Do you think it was wrong of me?" she half whispered to her partner.
"Oh, dear, no! Sensible and plucky, and everything delightful! You are much too charming to be bound down to silly conventionalities. Come, let us have this dance. I"m sure you are engaged to some one in the supper room who can"t deserve such a delightful partner. Let us have this TROIS TEMPS, and hurl defiance at the Greyshot chaperons."
Rose laughed, and allowed herself to be borne off. She had been excited before, now she was doubly excited, and Captain Golightly had the most delicious step imaginable.
CHAPTER X. Hard at Work
Longing is G.o.d"s fresh heavenward will With our poor earthward striving; We quench it that we may be still Content with merely living; But, would we learn that heart"s full scope Which we are hourly wronging, Our lives must climb from hope to hope And realize our longing. J. R. Lowell
Perhaps it was only natural that there should be that winter a good deal of communication between the secularist"s house in Guilford Terrace and the clergyman"s house in Guilford Square.
From the first Raeburn had taken a great fancy to Charles Osmond, and now that Brian had become so closely connected with the memory of their sudden bereavement, and had made himself almost one of them by his silent, un.o.btrusive sympathy, and by his numberless acts of delicate considerateness, a tie was necessarily formed which promised to deepen into one of those close friendships that sometimes exist between two entire families.
It was a bleak, chilly afternoon in March, when Charles Osmond, returning from a long round of parish work, thought he would look in for a few minutes at the Raeburns"; he had a proposal to make to Erica, some fresh work which he thought might interest her. He rang the bell at the now familiar door and was admitted; it carried him back to the day when he had first called there and had been shown into the fire-lit room, with the book-lined walls, and the pretty little girl curled up on the rug, with her cat and her toasting fork. Time had brought many changes since then. This evening he was again shown into the study, but this time the gas was lighted, and there was no little girl upon the hearth rug. Erica was sitting at her desk hard at work. Her face lighted up at the sight of her visitor.
"Every one is out except me," she said, more brightly than he had heard her speak since her return. "Did you really come to see me. How good of you."
"But you are busy?" said Charles Osmond, glancing at the papers on the desk. "Press work?"
"Yes, my first article," said Erica, "it is just finished; but if you"ll excuse me for one minute, I ought to correct it; the office boy will call for it directly."
"Don"t hurry; I will wait and get warm in the meantime," said Charles Osmond, establishing himself by the fire.
There was a silence broken only by the sound of Erica"s pen as she crossed out a word or a line. Charles Osmond watched her and mused. This beautiful girl, whose development he could trace now for more than two years back, what would she grow into? Already she was writing in the "Idol Breaker." He regretted it. Yet it was obviously the most natural employment for her. He looked at her ever-changing face. She was absorbed in her work, her expression varying with the sentences she read; now there was a look of triumphant happiness as she came to something which made her heart beat quickly; again, a shade of dissatisfaction at the consciousness of her inability to express what was in her mind. He could not help thinking that it was one of the n.o.blest faces he had ever seen, and now that the eyes were downcast it was not so terribly sad; there was, moreover, for the first time since her mother"s death, a faint tinge of color in her cheeks. Before five minutes could have pa.s.sed, the bell rang again.
"That is my boy," she exclaimed, and hastily blotting her sheets, she rolled them up, gave them to the servant, closed her desk, and crossing the room, knelt down in front of the fire to warm her hands, which were stiff and chilly.
"How rude I have been to you," she said, smiling a little; "I always have been rude to you since the very first time we met."
"We were always frank with each other," said Charles Osmond; "I remember you gave me your opinion as to bigots and Christians in the most delightfully open way. So you have been writing your first article?"
"Yes," and she stretched herself as though she were rather tired and cramped. "I have had a delicious afternoon. Yesterday I was in despair about it, but today it just came--I wrote it straight off."
"And you are satisfied with it?"
"Satisfied? Oh, no! Is anybody ever satisfied? By the time it is in print I shall want to alter every sixth line. Still, I dare say it will say a little of what I want said?"