"What is the matter, my child?" he asked.
"I am only angry," said Erica, rather breathlessly; "hurt and angry because one of your bigots has been rude to me."
"Come in and tell me all about it," said Charles Osmond; and there was something so irresistible in his manner that Erica at once allowed herself to be led into one of the tall, old-fashioned houses, and taken into a comfortable and roomy study, the nicest room she had ever been in. It was not luxurious; indeed the Turkey carpet was shabby and the furniture well worn, but it was home-like, and warm and cheerful, evidently a room which was dear to its owner. Charles Osmond made her sit down in a capacious arm chair close to the fire.
"Well, now, who was the bigot?" he said, in a voice that would have won the confidence of a flint.
Erica told as much of the story as she could bring herself to repeat, quite enough to show Charles Osmond the terrible harm which may be wrought by tactless modern Christianity. He looked down very sorrowfully at the eager, expressive face of the speaker; it was at once very white and very pink, for the child was sorely wounded as well as indignant.
She was evidently, however, a little vexed with herself for feeling the insult so keenly.
"It is very stupid of me," she said laughing a little; "it is time I was used to it; but I never can help shaking in this silly way when any one is rude to us. Tom laughs at me, and says I am made on wire springs like a twelfth-cake b.u.t.terfly! But it is rather hard, isn"t it, to be shut out from everything, even from giving?"
"I think it is both hard and wrong," said Charles Osmond. "But we do not all shut you out."
"No," said Erica. "You have always been kind, you are not a bit like a Christian. Would you"--she hesitated a little--"would you take the flowers instead?"
It was said with a shy grace inexpressibly winning. Charles Osmond was touched and gratified.
"They will be a great treat to us," he said. "My mother is very fond of flowers. Will you come upstairs and see her? We shall find afternoon tea going on, I expect."
So the rejected flowers found a resting place in the clergyman"s house; and Brian, coming in from his rounds, was greeted by a sight which made his heart beat at double time. In the drawing room beside his grandmother sat Erica, her little fur hat pushed back, her gloves off, busily arranging Christmas roses and red camellias. Her anger had died away, she was talking quite merrily. It seemed to Brian more like a beautiful dream than a bit of every-day life, to have her sitting there so naturally in his home; but the note of pain was struck before long.
"I must go home," she said. "This is my last day, you know. I am going to Paris tomorrow."
A sort of sadness seemed to fall on them at the words; only gentle Mrs.
Osmond said, cheerfully:
"You will come to see us again when you come back, will you not?"
And then, with the privilege of the aged, she drew down the young, fresh face to hers and kissed it.
"You will let me see you home," said Brian. "It is getting dark."
Erica laughingly protested that she was well used to taking care of herself, but it ended in Brian"s triumphing. So together they crossed the quiet square. Erica chattered away merrily enough, but as they reached the narrow entrance to Guilford Terrace a shadow stole over her face.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, "this is the last time I shall come home for two whole years."
"You go for so long," said Brian, stifling a sigh. "You won"t forget your English friends?"
"Do you mean that you count yourself our friend?" asked Erica, smiling.
"If you will let me."
"That is a funny word to use," she replied, laughing. "You see we are treated as outlaws generally. I don"t think any one ever said "will you let" to me before. This is our house; thank you for seeing me home."
Then with a roguish look in her eyes, she added demurely, but with a slight emphasis on the last word, "Good bye, my friend."
Brian turned away sadly enough; but he had not gone far when he heard flying footsteps, and looking back saw Erica once more.
"Oh, I just came to know whether by any chance you want a kitten," she said; "I have a real beauty which I want to find a nice home for."
Of course Brian wanted a kitten at once; one would have imagined by the eagerness of his manner that he was devoted to the whole feline tribe.
"Well, then, will you come in and see it?" said Erica. "He really is a very nice kitten, and I shall go away much happier if I can see him settled in life first."
She took him in, introduced him to her mother, and ran off in search of the cat, returning in a few minutes with a very playful-looking tabby.
"There he is," she said, putting the kitten on the table with an air of pride. "I don"t believe he has an equal in all London.
"What do you call him?" asked Brian.
"His name is St. Anthony," said Erica. "Oh, I hope, by the bye, you won"t object to that; it was no disrespect to St. Anthony at all, but only that he always will go and preach to my gold fish. We"ll make him do it now to show you. Come along Tony, and give them a sermon, there"s a good little kit!"
She put him on a side table, and he at once rested his front paws on a large gla.s.s bowl and peered down at the gold fish with great curiosity.
"I believe he would have drowned himself sooner or later, like Gray"s cat, so I dare say it is a good thing for him to leave. You will be kind to him, won"t you?"
Brian promised that he should be well attended to, and, indeed there was little doubt that St. Anthony would from that day forth be lapped in luxury. He went away with his new master very contentedly, Erica following them to the door with farewell injunctions.
"And you"ll be sure to b.u.t.ter his feet well or else he won"t stay with you. Good bye, dear Tony. Be a good little cat!"
Brian was pleased to have this token from his Undine, but at the same time he could not help seeing that she cared much more about parting with the kitten than about saying good bye to him. Well, it was something to have that lucky St. Anthony, who had been fondled and kissed. And after all it was Erica"s very childishness and simplicity which made her so dear to him.
As soon as they were out of sight, Erica, with the thought of the separation beginning to weigh upon her, went back to her mother. They knew that this was the last quiet time they would have together for many long months. But last days are not good days for talking. They spoke very little. Every now and then Mrs. Raeburn would make some inquiry about the packing or the journey, or would try to cheer the child by speaking of the house they would have at the end of the two years. But Erica was not to be comforted; a dull pain was gnawing at her heart, and the present was not to be displaced by any visions of a golden future. "If it were not for leaving you alone, mother, I shouldn"t mind so much," she said, in a choked voice. "But it seems to me that you have the hardest part of all."
"Aunt Jean will be here, and Tom," said Mrs. Raeburn.
"Aunt Jean is very kind," said Erica, doubtfully. "But she doesn"t know how to nurse people. Tom is the one hope, and he has promised always to tell me the whole truth about you; so if you get worse, I shall come home directly."
"You mustn"t grudge me my share of the work," said Mrs. Raeburn. "It would make me very miserable if I did hinder you or your father."
Erica sighed. "You and father are so dreadfully public-spirited! And yet, oh, mother! What does the whole world matter to me if I think you are uncomfortable, and wretched, and alone?"
"You will learn to think differently, dear, by and by," said her mother, kissing the eager, troubled face. "And, when you fancy me lonely, you can picture me instead as proud and happy in thinking of my brave little daughter who has gone into exile of her own accord to help the cause of truth and liberty."
They were inspiriting words, and they brought a glow to Erica"s face; she choked down her own personal pain. No religious martyr went through the time of trial more bravely than Luke Raeburn"s daughter lived through the next four and twenty hours. She never forgot even the most trivial incident of that day, it seemed burned in upon her brain. The dreary waking on the dark winter morning, the hurried farewells to her aunt and Tom, the last long embrace from her mother, the drive to the station, her father"s recognition on the platform, the rude staring and ruder comments to which they were subjected, then the one supreme wrench of parting, the look of pain in her father"s face, the trembling of his voice, the last long look as the train moved off, and the utter loneliness of all that followed. Then came dimmer recollections, not less real, but more confused; of a merry set of fellow pa.s.sengers who were going to enjoy themselves in the south of France; of a certain little packet which her father had placed in her hand, and which proved to be "Mill on Liberty;" of her eager perusal of the first two or three chapters; of the many instances of the "tyranny of the majority" which she had been able to produce, not without a certain satisfaction. And afterward more vividly she could recall the last look at England, the dreary arrival at Boulogne, the long weary railway journey, and the friendly reception at Mme Lemercier"s school. No one could deny that her new life had been bravely begun.
CHAPTER VI. Paris
But we wake in the young morning when the light is breaking forth; And look out on its misty gleams, as if the moon were full; And the Infinite around, seems but a larger kind of earth Ensphering this, and measured by the self-same handy rule. Hilda among the Broken G.o.ds.
Not unfrequently the most important years of a life, the years which tell most on the character, are unmarked by any notable events. A steady, orderly routine, a gradual progression, perseverance in hard work, often do more to educate and form than a varied and eventful life.
Erica"s two years of exile were as monotonous and quiet as the life of the secularist"s daughter could possibly be. There came to her, of course, from the distance the echoes of her father"s strife; but she was far removed from it all, and there was little to disturb her mind in the quiet Parisian school. There is no need to dwell on her uneventful life, and a very brief description of her surroundings will be sufficient to show the sort of atmosphere in which she lived.
The school was a large one, and consisted princ.i.p.ally of French provincial girls, sent to Paris to finish their education. Some of them Erica liked exceedingly; every one of them was to her a curious and interesting study. She liked to hear them talk about their home life, and, above all things, to hear their simple, naive remarks about religion. Of course she was on her honor not to enter into discussions with them, and they regarded all English as heretics, and did not trouble themselves to distinguish between the different grades. But there was nothing to prevent her from observing and listening, and with some wonder she used to hear discussions about the dresses for the "Premiere Communion," remarks about the various services, or laments over the confession papers. The girls went to confession once a month, and there was always a day in which they had to prepare and write out their misdemeanors. One day, a little, thin, delicate child from the south of France came up to Erica with her confession in her hand.
"Dear, good Erica," she said, wearily, "have the kindness to read this and to correct my mistakes."