Copy the top five items in Column C, onto the Favorite Working Conditions petal of your Flower Diagram.
Now, on to another side of Who You Are.
I Am a Person Who ...
Prefers a Certain Level of Responsibility and Salary
Fifth Petal MY PREFERRED SALARY AND LEVEL OF RESPONSIBILITY.
My Preferred Salary Petal
Goal in Filling Out This Petal: To gain a realistic picture of how much money you will need to earn, or want to earn, at whatever job you find.
What You Are Looking For: A range, because most employers are thinking in terms of a range, too. When you negotiate salary, as you will almost certainly have to, you want the bottom of your range to be near the top of theirs.
Form of the Entries on Your Petal: Total dollars needed, weekly, monthly, or annually. Stated in thousands (symbol: K).
Example of a Good Petal: $75K to $85K Example of a Bad Petal: $300K Why Bad: Well, it"s not a range, which it needs to be; and it"s too high unless you put on the petal the reason why such a high income is expected, and justified.
Money is important. Or else we"ve got to barter for our food, clothing, and shelter. So, when we"re out of work, unless we have huge amounts of money in our savings account or investments, we are inevitably thinking: "What am I going to do, so that I have enough money to put food on the table, clothes on my back, and a roof over our heads for myself-and for my family or partner (if I have one)?"
Happiness is important, too. So, we may find ourselves thinking: "How much do I really need to be earning, for me to be truly happy with my life?"
Are these two worries-money and happiness-related? Can money buy happiness?
Partly, it turns out. Partly. A study, published in 2010, of the responses of 450,000 people in the U.S. to a daily survey, found that the less money they made, the more unhappy they tended to be, day after day.10 No surprise, there. And, obviously, the more money they made, measured in terms of percentage improvement, the happier they tended to be, as measured by the frequency and intensity of moments of smiling, laughter, affection, and joy all day long, vs. moments of sadness, worry, and stress.
So, money does buy happiness. But only up to a point. That point was found to be around $75,000 annual income (at the end of 2011, median household income was $51,41311). If people made more money than $75,000, it of course further improved their satisfaction with how their life was going, but it did not increase their happiness. Above $75,000, they started to report reduced ability to spend time with people they liked, to enjoy leisure, and to savor small pleasures. Happiness depends on things like that, and on other factors too: good health, a loving relationship, loving friends, a feeling of competence, gaining mastery, respect, praise, or even love, because we are really good at what we do.
So, this petal cannot be filled out all by itself. It is inextricably tied to the other petals-most particularly, to what you love to do, and where you love to do it.
Still, salary is something you must think out ahead of time, when you"re contemplating your ideal job or career. Level goes hand in hand with salary, of course.
1. The first question here is at what level would you like to work, in your ideal job?
Level is a matter of how much responsibility you want, in an organization: Boss or CEO (this may mean you"ll have to form your own business) Manager or someone under the boss who carries out orders The head of a team A member of a team of equals One who works in tandem with one other partner One who works alone, either as an employee or as a consultant to an organization, or as a one-person business Enter a two- or three-word summary of your answer, on the Preferred Salary and Level of Responsibility petal of your Flower Diagram.
2. The second question here is what salary would you like to be aiming for?
Here you have to think in terms of minimum or maximum. Minimum is what you would need to make, if you were just barely "getting by." And you need to know this before you go in for a job interview with anyone (or before you form your own business, and need to know how much profit you must make, just to survive).
Maximum could be any astronomical figure you can think of, but it is more useful here to put down the salary you realistically think you could make, with your present competency and experience, were you working for a real, but generous, boss. (If this maximum figure is still depressingly low, then put down the salary you would like to be making five years from now.) Make out a detailed list of what you will need monthly, in each category:12 Housing Rent or mortgage payments: $____________ Electricity/gas: $____________ Water: $____________ Phone/Internet: $____________ Garbage removal: $____________ Cleaning, maintenance, repairs13: $____________ Food What you spend at the supermarket and/or farmer"s market, etc.: $____________ Eating out: $____________ Clothing Purchase of new or used clothing: $____________ Cleaning, dry cleaning, laundry: $____________ Automobile/transportation Car payments: $____________ Gas (who knows?14): $____________ Repairs: $____________ Public transportation (bus, train, plane): $____________ Insurance Car: $____________ Medical or health care: $____________ House and personal possessions: $____________ Life: $____________ Medical expenses Doctors" visits: $____________ Prescriptions: $____________ Fitness costs: $____________ Support for other family members Child-care costs (if you have children): $____________ Child-support (if you"re paying that): $____________ Support for your parents (if you"re helping out): $____________ Charity giving/t.i.the (to help others): $____________ School/learning Children"s costs (if you have children in school): $____________ Your learning costs (adult education, job-hunting cla.s.ses, etc.): $____________ Pet care (if you have pets): $____________ Bills and debts (usual monthly payments) Credit cards: $____________ Local stores: $____________ Other obligations you pay off monthly: $____________ Taxes Federal15 (next April"s due, divided by months remaining until then): $____________ State (likewise): $____________ Local/property (next amount due, divided by months remaining until then): $____________ Tax-help (if you ever use an accountant, pay a friend to help you with taxes, etc.): $____________ Savings: $____________ Retirement (Keogh, IRA, SEP, etc.): $____________ Amus.e.m.e.nt/discretionary spending Movies, Netflix, etc.: $____________ Other kinds of entertainment: $____________ Reading, newspapers, magazines, books: $____________ Gifts (birthday, Christmas, etc.): $____________ Vacations: $____________ Total Amount You Need Each Month: $____________ To download a printable PDF of this budget planner, visit Multiply the total amount you need each month by 12, to get the yearly figure. Divide the yearly figure by 2,000, and you will be reasonably near the minimum hourly wage that you need. Thus, if you need $3,333 per month, multiplied by 12 that"s $40,000 a year, and then divided by 2,000, that"s $20 an hour.
Parenthetically, you may want to prepare another version of this budget: one with the expenses you"d ideally like to make.
Now, enter the salary figure and any notes you want to add, about the level of responsibility you want to take on, to justify this salary, plus any "non-monetary" rewards you seek (from the Optional Exercise below), on the Preferred Salary and Level of Responsibility petal.
Optional Exercise
You may wish to put down other rewards, besides money, that you would hope for, from your next job or career. These might be: Adventure Challenge Respect Influence Popularity Fame Power Intellectual stimulation from the other workers there A chance to be creative A chance to help others A chance to exercise leadership A chance to make decisions A chance to use your expertise A chance to bring others closer to G.o.d Other: If you do check off things on this list, arrange your answers in order of importance to you, and then add them to the petal.
I Am a Person Who ...
Prefers Certain Places to Live
Sixth Petal MY PREFERRED PLACE TO LIVE.
My Preferred Place to Live Petal
Goal in Filling Out This Petal: To define where you would most like to work and live, and be happiest, if you ever have a choice. Or, to resolve a conflict between you and your partner as to where you want to move to, when you retire.
What You Are Looking For: Having a clearer picture about what you hope for, in life. Now or later. Now, if you"re able to move and want to make a wise decision as to where. Later, If you"re currently tied down to a particular place because "I need to be near my kids or my ailing parents, or whatever," in which case this becomes a planning for the future: retirement, or earlier. It"s important to think about the future now, because an opportunity may come along when you least expect it, and you might pa.s.s right by it, unless you"ve given it some thought, and instantly recognize it.
Form of the Entries on Your Petal: You can stay general (city, suburbs, rural, up in the mountains, on the coast, or overseas); or you can get very specific if you"re really ready to move, naming names and places-as this exercise will teach you to do.
Example of a Good Petal: First preference: Jackson, Wyoming; Second preference: Honolulu; Third preference: New York City.
Example of a Bad Petal: The West; a suburb; snow.
Why Bad: Too broad. Doesn"t really offer any help in making a decision. And it isn"t prioritized, as the good petal is.
DIRECTIONS FOR DOING THIS EXERCISE.
1. Copy the chart that follows, onto a larger (11 17-inch) piece of paper or cardboard, which you can obtain from any arts and crafts store or supermarket, in your town or city. If you are doing this exercise with a partner, make a copy for them too, so that each of you is working on a clean copy of your own, and can follow these instructions independently.
2. In Column 1, each of you should list all the places where you have ever lived.
3. In Column 2, each of you should list all the factors you disliked (and still dislike) about each place. The factors do not have to be put exactly opposite the name in Column 1. The names in Column 1 exist simply to jog your memory.
If, as you go, you remember some good things about any place, put those factors at the bottom of the next column, Column 3.
If the same factors keep repeating, just put a checkmark after the first listing of that factor, every time it repeats.
Keep going until you have listed all the factors you disliked or hated about each and every place you named in Column 1. Now, in effect, throw away Column 1; discard it from your thoughts. The negative factors were what you were after. Column 1 has served its purpose.
4. Look at Column 2, now, your list of negative factors, and in Column 3 try to list each one"s opposite (or near opposite). For example, "the sun never shone, there" would, in Column 3, be turned into "mostly sunny, all year "round." It will not always be the exact opposite. For example, the negative factor "rains all the time" does not necessarily translate into the positive "sunny all the time." It might be something like "sunny at least 200 days a year." It"s your call. Keep going, until every negative factor in Column 2 is turned into its opposite, a positive factor, in Column 3. At the bottom, note the positive factors you already listed there, when you were working on Column 2.
To download a printable PDF of this image, please visit 5. In Column 4, now, list the positive factors in Column 3, in the order of most important (to you), down to least important (to you). For example, if you were looking at, and trying to name a new town, city, or place where you could be happy and flourish, what is the first thing you would look for? Would it be, good weather? or lack of crime? or good schools? or access to cultural opportunities, such as music, art, museums, or whatever? or would it be inexpensive housing? etc., etc. Rank all the factors in Column 4. Use the ten-item Prioritizing Grid if you need to.
6. If you are doing this by yourself, list on a scribble sheet the top ten factors, in order of importance to you, and show it to everyone you meet for the next ten days, with the ultimate question: "Can you think of places that have these ten factors, or at least the top five?" Jot down their suggestions on the back of the scribble sheet. When the ten days are up, look at the back of your sheet and circle the three places that seem the most interesting to you. If there is only a partial overlap between your dream factors and the places your friends and acquaintances suggested, make sure the overlap is in the factors that count the most. Now you have some names that you will want to find out more about, until you are sure which is your absolute favorite place to live, and then your second, and third, as backups. Enter in Column 5.
Put the names of the three places, and/or your top five geographical factors, on the Flower Diagram, on the Preferred Place(s) to Live petal.
7. If you are doing this with a partner, skip Column 5. Instead, when you have finished your Column 4, look at your partner"s Column 4, and copy it into Column 6. The numbering of your list in Column 4 was 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. Number your partner"s list, as you copy it into Column 6, as a, b, c, d, etc.
8. Now, in Column 7, combine your Column 4 with Column 6 (your partner"s old Column 4). Both of you can work now from just one person"s chart. Combine the two lists as ill.u.s.trated on the chart. First your partner"s top favorite geographical factor ("a"), then your top favorite geographical factor ("1"), then your partner"s second most important favorite geographical factor ("b"), then yours ("2"), etc., until you have twenty favorite geographical factors (yours and your partner"s) listed, in order, in Column 7.
9. List on a scribble sheet the top ten factors, and both of you should show it to everyone you meet, for the next ten days, with the same question as above: "Can you think of any places that have these ten factors, or at least the top five?" Jot down their suggestions on the back of the scribble sheet. When the ten days are up, you and your partner should look at the back of your sheet and circle the three places that look the most interesting to the two of you. If there is only a partial overlap between your dream factors and the places your friends and acquaintances suggested, make sure the overlap is in the factors that matter the most to the two of you, i.e., the ones that are at the top of your list in Column 7. Now you have some names of places that you will want to find out more about, until you are sure which is the absolute favorite place to live for both of you, and then your second, and third, as backups. Enter in Column 8.
Put the names of the top three places, and/or your top five geographical factors, on the Flower Diagram, on the Preferred Place(s) to Live petal.
Conclusion: Was all of this too much work? Then do what one family did: they put a map of the U.S. up on a corkboard, and then they each threw a dart at the map from across the room, and when they were done they asked themselves where the most darts landed. It turned out to be around "Denver." So, Denver it was!
And now we turn to the last side of Who You Are.
To download a printable PDF of this image, please visit