THE PINK PAGES.
Appendix A
Finding Your Mission in Life
Introduction to Finding Your Mission in Life
There are those who think that belief in G.o.d is just some fairy tale that mankind (or humankind) invented, to fortify themselves against the darkness. Naturally, therefore, they think that anyone who says they believe in G.o.d these days is demonstrably feebleminded, or a pathetic child who has never grown up intellectually.
Given this view, they are horrified to find a section on faith or religion in a job-hunting book. They have written to me, and said so.
Well, here it is, anyway.
That"s because the percentage of the world"s population that says they don"t believe there is a G.o.d averages less than 18% (it varies from country to country: here in the U.S. the figure is 11%, while in Canada that figure is 19%30%).1 Still, that leaves us with an overwhelming percentage of the U.S. population (89%) believing in G.o.d. And my more than ten million readers are a pretty typical cross section of this country.
So, leaving out a section that 89% of my readers might be interested in, and helped by, in order to please 11% of my readers, seems to me insane.
But you are welcome to skip this section, if you wish. It"s not mandatory reading; that"s why it is an Appendix to this book.
As I started writing this section, I toyed at first with the idea of following what might be described as an "all-paths approach" to religion: trying to stay as general and nonspecific as I could. But, after much thought, I decided not to try that. This, because I have read many other writers who tried, and I felt the approach failed miserably. An "all-paths" approach to religion ends up being a "no-paths" approach, just as a woman or man who tries to please everyone ends up pleasing no one. It is the old story of the "universal" vs. the "particular."
Those of us who do career counseling could predict, ahead of time, that trying to stay universal is not likely to be helpful, in writing about faith. We know well from our own field that truly helpful career counseling depends upon defining the particularity or uniqueness of each person we try to help. No employer wants to know what you have in common with everyone else. He or she wants to know what makes you unique and individual. As I have argued throughout this book, the inventory of your uniqueness or particularity is crucial if you are ever to find meaningful work.
This particularity invades everything a person does; it is not suddenly "jettisonable" when he or she turns to matters of faith. Therefore, when I or anyone else writes about faith I believe we must write out of our own particularity-which starts, in my case, with the fact that I write, and think, and breathe as a Christian-as you might expect from the fact that I was an ordained Episcopalian minister for many years. Understandably, then, this chapter speaks from a Christian perspective. I want you to be aware of that, at the outset. Balanced against this is the fact that I have always been acutely sensitive to the fact that this is a pluralistic society in which we live, and that I in particular owe a great deal to my readers who have religious convictions quite different from my own. It has turned out that the people who work or have worked here in my office with me, over the years, have been predominantly of other faiths.
Furthermore, Parachute"s more than ten million readers have included not only Christians of every variety and persuasion, Christian Scientists, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, and adherents of Islam, but also believers in "new age" religions, secularists, humanists, agnostics, atheists, and many others. I have therefore tried to be very courteous toward the feelings of all my readers, while at the same time counting on them to translate my Christian thought-forms into their own. This ability to thus translate is the indispensable sine qua non of anyone who wants to communicate helpfully with others in this pluralistic society of ours.
In the Judeo-Christian tradition from which I come, one of the indignant biblical questions was, "Has G.o.d forgotten to be gracious?" The answer was a clear "No." I think it is important for all of us also to seek the same goal. I have therefore labored to make this chapter gracious as well as thought-provoking.
Turning Point
For many of us, the job-hunt offers a chance to make some fundamental changes in our whole life. It marks a turning point in how we live our life.
It gives us a chance to ponder and reflect, to extend our mental horizons, to go deeper into the subsoil of our soul.
It gives us a chance to wrestle with the question, "Why am I here on Earth?" We don"t want to feel that we are just another grain of sand lying on the beach called humanity, unnumbered and lost in the billions of other human beings.
We want to do more than plod through life, going to work, coming home from work. We want to find that special joy, "that no one can take from us," which comes from having a sense of Mission in our life.
We want to feel we were put here on Earth for some special purpose, to do some unique work that only we can accomplish.
We want to know what our Mission is.
The Meaning of the Word "Mission"
When used with respect to our life and work, Mission has always been a religious concept, from beginning to end. It is defined by Webster"s as "a continuing task or responsibility that one is destined or fitted to do or specially called upon to undertake," and historically has had two major synonyms: Calling and Vocation. These, of course, are the same word in two different languages, English and Latin. Both imply G.o.d. To be given a Vocation or Calling implies Someone who calls. To have a Destiny implies Someone who determined the destination for us. Thus, the concept of Mission lands us inevitably in the lap of G.o.d, before we have hardly begun.
I emphasize this, because there is an increasing trend in our culture to try to speak about religious subjects without reference to G.o.d. This is true of "spirituality," "soul," and "Mission," in particular. More and more books talk about Mission as though it were simply "a purpose you choose for your own life, by identifying your enthusiasms."
This attempt to obliterate all reference to G.o.d from the originally religious concept of Mission, is particularly ironic because the proposed subst.i.tute word-enthusiasms-is derived from two Greek words, "en theos," and means "G.o.d in us."
In the midst of this increasingly secular culture, we find an oasis that-along with athletics-is very hospitable toward belief in G.o.d. That oasis is job-hunting. Most of the leaders who have evolved creative job-hunting ideas were-from the beginning-people who believed firmly in G.o.d, and said so: Sidney Fine, Bernard Haldane, and John Crystal (all of whom have departed this life), plus Arthur and Marie Kirn, Arthur Miller, Tom and Ellie Jackson, Ralph Matson, and of course myself.
I mentioned at the beginning of this Appendix that 89% of us in the U.S. believe in G.o.d. According to the Gallup Organization, 90% of us pray, 88% of us believe G.o.d loves us, and 33% of us report that we have had a life-changing religious experience.
However, it is not clear that we have made much connection between our belief in G.o.d and our work. Often our spiritual beliefs and our att.i.tude toward our work live in separate mental ghettos, within our mind.
A dialogue between these two is opened up inside our head, and heart, when we are out of work. Unemployment, particularly in this brutal economy, gives us a chance to contemplate why we are here on Earth, and what our Calling, Vocation, or Mission is, uniquely, for each of us.
Unemployment becomes life transition, when we can"t find a job doing the same work we"ve always done. Since we have to rethink one thing, many of us elect to rethink everything.
Something awakens within us. Call it yearning. Call it hope. We come to realize the dream we dreamed has never died. And we go back to get it. We decide to resume our search ... for the life we know within our heart that we were meant to live.
Now we have a chance to marry our work and our religious beliefs, to talk about Calling, and Vocation, and Mission in life-to think out why we are here, and what plans G.o.d has for us.
That"s why a period of unemployment can absolutely change our life.
The Secret to Finding Your Mission in Life: Taking It in Stages
I will explain the steps toward finding your Mission in life that I have learned in all my years on Earth. Just remember two things. First, I speak from a lifelong Christian perspective, and trust you to translate this into your own thought-forms.
Second, I know that these steps are not the only Way. Many people have discovered their Mission by taking other paths. And you may, too. But hopefully what I have to say may shed some light upon whatever path you take.
I have learned that if you want to figure out what your Mission in life is, it will likely take some time. It is not a problem to be solved in a day and a night. It is a learning process that has steps to it, much like the process by which we all learned to eat. As a baby, we did not tackle adult food right off. As we all recall, there were three stages: first there had to be the mother"s milk or bottle, then strained baby foods, and finally-after teeth and time-the stuff that grown-ups chew. Three stages-and the two earlier stages were not to be disparaged. It was all Eating, just different forms of Eating-appropriate to our development at the time. But each stage had to be mastered, in turn, before the next could be approached.
There are usually three stages also to learning what your Mission in life is, and the two earlier stages are likewise not to be disparaged. It is all "Mission"-just different forms of Mission, appropriate to your development at the time. But each stage has to be mastered, in turn, before the next can be approached.
Of course, there is a sense in which you never master any of these stages, but are always growing in understanding and mastery of them, throughout your whole life here on Earth.
As it has been impressed on me by observing many people over the years (admittedly through Christian spectacles), it appears that the three parts to your Mission here on Earth can be defined generally as follows: 1. Your first Mission here on Earth is one that you share with the rest of the human race, but it is no less your individual Mission for the fact that it is shared: and it is, to seek to stand hour by hour in the conscious presence of G.o.d, the One from whom your Mission is derived. The Missioner before the Mission, is the rule. In religious language, your Mission here is: to know G.o.d, and enjoy Him forever, and to see His hand in all His works.
2. Second, once you have begun doing that in an earnest way, your second Mission here on Earth is also one that you share with the rest of the human race, but it is no less your individual Mission for the fact that it is shared: and that is, to do what you can, moment by moment, day by day, step by step, to make this world a better place, following the leading and guidance of G.o.d"s Spirit within you and around you.
3. Third, once you have begun doing that in a serious way, your third Mission here on Earth is one that is uniquely yours, and that is: a) to exercise the Talent that you particularly came to Earth to use-your greatest gift, which you most delight to use, b) in the place(s) or setting(s) that G.o.d has caused to appeal to you the most, c) and for those purposes that G.o.d most needs to have done in the world.
When fleshed out, and spelled out, I think you will find that there you have the definition of your Mission in life. Or, to put it another way, these are the three Missions that you have in life.
The Two Rhythms of the Dance of Mission: Unlearning, Learning, Unlearning, Learning
The distinctive characteristic of these three stages is that in each we are forced to let go of some fundamental a.s.sumptions that our culture has taught us, about the nature of Mission. In other words, throughout this quest and at each stage we find ourselves engaged not merely in a process of Learning. We are also engaged in a process of Unlearning. Thus, we can restate the three Learnings, in terms of what we also need to unlearn at each stage: We need in the first stage to unlearn the idea that our Mission is primarily to keep busy doing something (here on Earth), and learn instead that our Mission is first of all to keep busy being something (here on Earth). In Christian language (and others as well), we might say that we were sent here to learn how to be sons of G.o.d, and daughters of G.o.d, before anything else. "Our Father, who art in heaven.... "
In the second stage, "Being" issues into "Doing." At this stage, we need to unlearn the idea that everything about our Mission must be unique to us, and learn instead that some parts of our Mission here on Earth are shared by all human beings: e.g., we were all sent here to bring more grat.i.tude, more kindness, more forgiveness, and more love, into the world. We share this Mission because the task is too large to be accomplished by just one individual.
We need in the third stage to unlearn the idea that the part of our Mission that is truly unique, and most truly ours, is something Our Creator just orders us to do, without any agreement from our spirit, mind, and heart. (On the other hand, neither is it something that each of us chooses and then merely asks G.o.d to bless.) We need to learn that G.o.d so honors our free will, that He has ordained that our unique Mission be something that we have some part in choosing.
In this third stage we need also to unlearn the idea that our unique Mission must consist of some achievement for all the world to see-and learn instead that as the stone does not always know what ripples it has caused in the pond whose surface it impacts, so neither we nor those who watch our life will always know what we have achieved by our life and by our Mission. It may be that by the grace of G.o.d we helped bring about a profound change for the better in the lives of other souls around us, but it also may be that this takes place beyond our sight, or after we have gone on. And we may never know what we have accomplished, until we see Him face to face after this life is past.
Most finally, we need to unlearn the idea that what we have accomplished is our doing, and ours alone. It is G.o.d"s Spirit breathing in us and through us that helps us do whatever we do, and so the singular first-person p.r.o.noun is never appropriate, but only the plural. Not "I accomplished this" but "We accomplished this, G.o.d and I, working together.... "
That should give you a general overview. But I would like to add some random comments on my part about each of these three Missions of ours here on Earth.
Some Random Comments About Your First Mission in Life
Your first Mission here on Earth is one that you share with the rest of the human race, but it is no less your individual Mission for the fact that it is shared: and that is, to seek to stand hour by hour in the conscious presence of G.o.d, the One from whom your Mission is derived. The Missioner before the Mission, is the rule. In religious language, your Mission is: to know G.o.d, and enjoy Him forever, and to see His hand in all His works.
Comment 1:
How We Might Think of G.o.d
Each of us has to go about this primary Mission according to the tenets of our own particular religion. But I will speak what I know out of the context of my own particular faith, and you may perhaps translate and apply it to yours. I will speak as a Christian, who believes (pa.s.sionately) that Christ is the Way and the Truth and the Life. But I also believe, with St. Peter, "that G.o.d shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears Him and does what is right is acceptable to Him" (Acts 10:3435).
Now, Jesus claimed many unique things about Himself and His Mission; but He also spoke of Himself as the great prototype for us all. He called Himself "the Son of Man," and He said, "I a.s.sure you that the man who believes in me will do the same things that I have done, yes, and he will do even greater things than these ..." (John 14:12).
Emboldened by His identification of us with His Life and His Mission, we might want to remember how He spoke about His Life here on Earth. He put it in this context: "I came from the Father and have come into the world; again, I am leaving the world and going to the Father" (John 16:28).
If there is a sense in which this is, in even the faintest way, true also of our lives (and I shall say in a moment in what sense I think it is true), then instead of calling our great Creator "G.o.d" or "Father" right off, we might begin our approach to the subject of religion by referring to the One Who gave us our Mission and sent us to this planet not as "G.o.d" or "Father" but-just to help our thinking-as: "The One From Whom We Came and The One To Whom We Shall Return," when this life is done.
If our life here on Earth is to be at all like Christ"s, then this is a true way to think about the One Who gave us our Mission. We are not some kind of eternal, preexistent being. We are creatures, who once did not exist, and then came into Being, and continue to have our Being, only at the will of our great Creator. But as creatures we are both body and soul; although we know our body was created in our mother"s womb, our soul"s origin is a great mystery. Where it came from, at what moment the Lord created it, is something we cannot know. It is not unreasonable to suppose, however, that the great G.o.d created our soul before it entered our body, and in that sense we did indeed stand before G.o.d before we were born; and He is indeed "The One From Whom We Came and The One To Whom We Shall Return."
Therefore, before we go searching for "what work was I sent here to do?" we need to establish-or in a truer sense reestablish-contact with "The One From Whom We Came and The One To Whom We Shall Return." Without this reaching out of the creature to the great Creator, without this reaching out of the creature with a Mission to the One Who Gave Us That Mission, the question what is my Mission in life? is void and null. The what is rooted in the Who; absent the Personal, one cannot meaningfully discuss The Thing. It is like the adult who cries, "I want to get married," without giving any consideration to who it is they want to marry.