"Of course! Just ... cell phone!" I say, holding it up again. "Let"s get back in there. Erica will kill me if I don"t mingle." Among other reasons. I lock my arm in Guy"s and lead him back to the party.
Guy and I find an isolated corner, and he begins talking. Nonstop. The man sure does like to jaw about himself. I think he asks me about two questions about me in half an hour, but I find myself tuning out, so maybe he"s just carrying the conversation since I"m not up to the task. How the h.e.l.l am I supposed to break into Erica"s house? It"s a huge refurbished antebellum with about a dozen rooms, servants milling around, and it"s ensconced in a gated community. Maybe Adam will have some ideas. At least this time I won"t have to watch him feel up another woman. At least I hope I not.
"Am I boring you?" Guy asks, bringing me back to the present.
"What? No. You were talking about your residency."
He starts another monologue, and I make the appropriate noises and head nods, occasionally glancing at my cousin. Erica is chatting with a bald man across the room, occasionally touching his arm for effect. She feels me staring and glances my way. She nods and smiles before turning back to baldy. Could she really want me dead? It makes about as much sense as Cheyenne wanting to kill me. Regardless, tonight would be the perfect time to strike. I go to the bathroom alone and she hexes me, or h.e.l.l, just shoots me. G.o.ddess, I wish Adam was here. I should have brought him. Why the h.e.l.l didn"t I? Guy can"t defend me, and for all I know he"s in on it. As he chatters on, I study his face. There"s no hint of malice, just pride and good cheer. I"ve misjudged men before. Have I just been a sucker for a handsome face?
"Why did you ask me to do this tonight?" I blurt out.
"What?" he asks, taken aback.
"Why didn"t you ask me on a regular date? Why here? Tonight?"
"I-I don"t know. I thought it would be romantic, me declaring my intentions in front of everyone. And it"s for a good cause. Do you not want to? We can leave ... "
"No, I was just wondering." Plausible enough. "So no one put you up to it?"
"Of course not," he says, a little offended. "Why?"
"It"s just that I didn"t think I was your type. Then, out of nowhere, I am. I was wondering what changed."
He thinks for a moment. "I-"
"Attention," a man says over a microphone. "The auction will begin in five minutes. Will the ladies please a.s.semble at the appointed location?"
c.r.a.p. To be continued. The fifteen of us excuse ourselves and follow Erica into the next room. "G.o.d, I hope that sweaty guy doesn"t win me," Naomi says to Bethany as we walk. There are chairs set up around a table for us to sit. The majority of us kick off our heels the moment we can.
"Now, Miranda you"re up first with Julie-Ann next. Y"all know your order," Erica says as she sits too. "Listen for your cue, and for G.o.d"s sake, smile."
"You look real nice tonight," Bethany says to me. "I like your hair."
"Thanks," I say. Normally I"d take this opportunity to sing Clay"s praises to his paramour, but I can"t focus on anything but Erica. Enough p.u.s.s.yfooting around. This ends now. I pick up my shoes and stand. "Excuse me, Bethany. My cousin Clay likes you. He"s a good man but shy. You should ask him out. You won"t regret it." There. If I die tonight at least I helped out a friend. Hope they name their daughter after me. I walk over to her majesty and loom over her. "Erica?"
"Yes?" she asks.
"May I speak to you in private for a minute?"
"Now? I don"t-"
"It"s important."
"Oh lord," she says as she stands. I lead her out onto the patio, shutting the door behind myself. "If you want to quit, it"s too late. I-"
"Why do you have a muti bag with human teeth in your purse?"
Her collagen infused lips open in surprise. "How do you know that?"
"Someone came to me in confidence and told me. What is it for?"
She starts playing with her diamond pendant. "I-none of your business."
"I am your High Priestess, and if you are involved in black magic, it is my business. Especially considering recent demonic events."
"And you think I had something to do with that? Why on earth would I?" Her eyes narrow at me.
"To kill me. That was the plan, right? The one you concocted with Alejandro?"
Her mouth drops open. "Mona McGregor, you have lost your freaking mind. I do not have to listen to this." She takes a step to leave, but I grab her arm. "Don"t touch me."
I don"t let go. "What was the plan? Enlist your friend Dr. Sutcliffe to lure me here, get me alone, and have your demon murder me on the golf course?"
"I don"t even know a Dr. Sutcliffe. And why would I conspire with anyone to kill you? That is beyond ridiculous." She shakes her head. "I really do think you have lost your d.a.m.n mind. Get help, Mona. Now let me go before I scream," she says calmly.
She"s afraid of me. That"s rich. I do release her. "You do know it"s not too late to stop this. No one"s been hurt yet. Just send the demon back and forget the whole scheme." I meet her eyes. "But you should know if any harm comes to me or anyone because of you, the F.R.E.A.K.S. will show up on your doorstep and drag you to their secret prison never to be heard from again. Do you hear me, Erica? Nothing is worth that fate."
Erica glares at me, trying to mask her fear with indignity. "For the last time, I have no idea what you"re talking about. Now, if you"ll excuse me, I have to get back to my party." With a last glare, she strolls back inside as if the entire conversation never happened, smiling at all the women. I think they"ve been watching us the whole time. I"m sure I came off as the crazy one.
I turn my back to them and take a deep breath. That could have gone better. I think I just made a large tactical error, tipping my hand. What if this pushes her over the edge? What if she has Guy poison my champagne? G.o.ddess, I wish I had a cigarette. I"d leave, but if Guy is somehow involved in all this, I need to pump him for information. What I really need is backup.
I need Adam.
I rush inside and retrieve my purse before returning to the veranda. Tamara prepared my purse so all I have in here is my license, credit card, keys, condoms, spare underwear (why, I do not know), and my cell phone. I very much doubt I"ll put any of those to use aside from the cell. I call home, but the machine picks up. "Adam, it"s Mona. Oh I really hope you get this. Um, can you get Auntie Sara to watch the girls and come to the country club? I-I may have been wrong about Cheyenne. I think it"s Erica. Call me or just get here. The address is on the fridge. Bye." Maybe he was outside. I try his cell.
This time he picks up. "h.e.l.lo?"
"Oh thank the G.o.ddess. It"s Mona."
"Are you okay?" he asks over the voices in the background.
"I guess. Where are you? I hear people, and you didn"t answer the house phone."
"I"m ... watching TV. I didn"t hear the phone, sorry."
"Whatever. Um, can you meet me at the club? I"ll fill you in when you get here."
"Are you in danger?"
"Not right now. Just get here."
"I"m-I"m on my way. Stay around people."
The door opens and Bethany pokes her head out. "Hey, two girls have already gone. You better get in here or you"ll miss your cue."
I press my hand over the cell. "Be right there." When she"s gone I tell Adam, "Hurry," and hang up.
Erica refuses to look at me when I slink back in and sit. Luckily there are only about two minutes we have to be in the same room before it"s her turn on the auction block. She doesn"t return. Maybe she"ll actually listen and this will be the end of the nightmare. She"ll send the demon back, suppress her murderous impulses, and we can go back to silently disliking each other. Yeah, while I"m in Fantasyland, maybe I"ll win the lotto too.
Sooner than I"d antic.i.p.ated, Nadine LaPlante leaves for her turn and I"m the next bachelorette to face her fate. My stomach does somersaults as I walk to the door to listen for my name. All thoughts of my death are momentarily overshadowed by the intense fear that I"m about to be laughed at the moment I set foot out there. What if my humiliation is part of the plan? I think I"m about to throw up.
I hear applause, which means Nadine has successfully paired off, and it"s my turn. Okay, let"s just get this over with. This is the South, some gentleman will take pity on me if n.o.body makes an offer. I smooth my hair, throw my shoulders back, plaster a smile on, and walk out. Yep, definitely about to throw up.
"And here is our next bachelorette, Miss Mona McGregor," the auctioneer says as I enter. The spotlight follows me through the dark room. People politely applaud as I make my way up to the stage. I can"t see the majority of the audience for which I am grateful, though Guy stands right at the front, all smiles and pride. "Miss McGregor hails from Goodnight and is the proprietress of Midnight Magic. She is active in the community there and enjoys going to the movies," the man reads off the card. It"s really sad that I had to make up a hobby. "As always, we"ll start the bidding at one hundred dollars."
"Three hundred," Guy says with a proud smile.
"Five hundred," I think Clay says, G.o.ddess bless him.
"Six," Guy says, beaming up at me.
This is going better than I thought. "Seven," Clay says.
"Eight," from Guy.
There"s a moment of silence before the auctioneer says, "Do we have any other-"
"Two thousand dollars," a new man says, though the voice is too faint to place.
The audience gasps along with me. I can"t have heard that right. What on earth? Everyone, a shocked Guy too, turns to get a glimpse of the man. d.a.m.n these lights! The auctioneer clears his throat. "Um, we have two thousand from the gentleman in the back."
"Twenty-one hundred," Guy says.
"Twenty-five," the man in the back says.
Guy"s lips purse in disapproval. "Three thousand," he says with a hard edge.
"Four," the mystery man says without missing a beat.
There is dead silence for a few seconds. This is madness. Wonderful madness, but still. Guy just stands there scowling, indecision visible even from here. It breaks like a fever. "Six thousand dollars. And well worth it."
"We have six thousand for Miss Mona McGregor. Do I hear seven?" There"s no answer. "Sir in the back?" I shield my eyes to get a look but to no avail. "No? Then sold to the gentleman in the front for six thousand dollars!"
h.e.l.l"s bells.
The audience applauds as I step carefully offstage in my heels. That went well. When I take the final step Guy is by my side, wrapping his arm around my waist and waving to the people. "Almost lost you there for a second," he says to me.
As he leads me out of the room, I scan it for the man in back. "Who was the other bidder?"
Guy looks around, then kisses my cheek. "Forget him. You"re all mine now."
I sigh. Oh lucky me.
Go on a date with a possibly evil doctor At least Guy will get his money"s worth with the food even if I"m a mess inside right now. We join the other couples on the candlelit patio. Paper lanterns hang above with magnolias floating in water and candles next to them as centerpieces. A string quartet plays romantic music off to the side. I pa.s.s the other women, who are at least pretending to enjoy themselves. Bethany ended up with Royal Lorrel, the owner of Lorrel Dodge, poor thing. She just smiles as his mouth moves as quickly as his cars. Erica glances up at me for a moment, face blank, then back to her date.
Cousin d.i.c.kie pulls out my chair for me, and the date officially begins. The quite pleased with himself Guy smiles at me, and I manage one back. Even if I didn"t now suspect he had ulterior motives I"d be nervous. The man did sh.e.l.l out six grand for a meal with me. No pressure there. d.i.c.kie pours our wine then walks away. Guy holds up his gla.s.s and I follow suit. "To our first date. May it be one of many."
We clink gla.s.ses. "Let"s just hope all aren"t as expensive," I say as I sip.
"True. Not that it isn"t worth it," he adds. "And it"s a tax write-
off."
"How did I compare to the others?"
"Before you the highest was fifteen hundred for the homecoming queen."
"h.e.l.l"s bells," I say.
"I like to win," Guy says. His hand slides across the table and touches mine. "Especially with the important things."
d.i.c.kie returns with our salads, and I take the opportunity to pull my hand away. We place our orders, which he brings right away (I"m guessing they were prepared in advance), and d.i.c.kie scoots off again. I spy Erica looking at me, but she glances away when I catch her. "This looks good," I say as I pick up my fork.
"So do you," he says. "You look wonderful tonight."
"Yeah, I clean up good," I say, shoving filet into my mouth.
He sits back in his chair, examining me. "It"s more than that. I-I look at you and I just ... you"re so wonderful, how you take care of those kids. How you run your own business. I think you"re the most spectacular, beautiful woman I"ve ever seen in my life."
And with those words, my heart breaks along with any illusions I"ve harbored. I physically hurt. "Okay, you need to stop talking now."
"Why? I didn"t ... did I offend you? I"ve come on too strong, haven"t I?"
I press my fingers against my temples to stop the oncoming headache. "Just stop it, okay? I don"t believe a word coming out of your mouth."
He"s shocked. "What? Why-"
"Listen, I don"t know why you"re involved in this, why you lured me here tonight. Maybe you and Erica have some sort of relationship, but-"
"Who"s Erica?"
"But whatever she"s convinced you to do, it is a bad idea. I"m onto you both now. And if you tell me everything she"s told you, I will make sure that men with guns do not show up on your doorstep, okay?"
He leans forward. "Mona, I have no clue what you are talking about," he states emphatically. "None. I don"t know an Erica, and I didn"t lure you here. I wanted to be romantic and-and show you how much I care about you. I-I like you more than any woman I"ve ever met, including my ex-wife." He pauses to find the words. "I-I think I"m in love with you, Mona."
"Oh please. We"ve spent a total of twenty minutes together," I point out.
"I know it"s not rational, and it makes no sense to me either because you"re not really my type," he says with a chuckle, "but I do. You"re all I think about all day. I even dream about you. I"ve driven by your house, even your shop a dozen times just to get a glimpse of you. I can"t concentrate, especially when you"re right in front of me. It"s taking all my resolve not to jump across this table and ... you know. If that"s not love, I don"t know what it is."
I do. I know what this is. And I am a total idiot for not seeing it right away. Of course. At least he doesn"t want to kill me. "Guy, when did you start having these feelings?"