And to himself Sean had to admit that the dance floor of the Golden Guinea on a Sat.u.r.day night was not the best place for a waltz lesson. The waiter brought the food, great steaming dishes of it. Sean addressed himself to it and the one-sided conversation wilted. Katrina watched him, picking at the too rich food herself, acutely conscious of the laughter and voices around them, feeling out of place and desperately miserable. Come on, Katrina, Sean smiled at her. You"ve hardly touched your gla.s.s. Be a devil and get a little of that in you to warm you up. Obediently she sipped the champagne. She didn"t like the taste. Sean finished the last of his crayfish thermidor and leaning back in his chair glowing with wine and good food said, Man... I only pray the chef can keep the rest of the meal up to that standard. He belched softly behind his fingers and ran his eyes contentedly round the room. Duff used to say that a well-cooked crayfish was proof that, Sean stopped abruptly. He was staring at the head of the marble staircase, a party of three had appeared there.
Two men in evening dress hovering attentively on each side of a woman. The woman was Candy Rautenbach.
Candy with her blonde hair piled on top of her head.
Candy with diamonds in her ears and at her throat, her bosom overflowing her gown as white as the frothy head on a beer tankard. Candy with bright blue eyes above a red mouth, Candy poised and lovely. Laughing, she glanced towards him and her eyes met his across the room. She stared in open disbelief, the laughter frozen on her lips, then suddenly her poise was gone and she was running down the stairs towards him, holding her skirts up to her knees, her escorts cantering after her in alarm, waiters scattering out of her path and every head in the room turning to watch her. Sean pushed back his chair, stood up to meet her and Candy reached him and jumped up to throw her arms around his neck. There was a long incoherent exchange of greetings and at last Sean prised her loose from his neck and turned her to face Katrina.
Candy was flushed and panting with excitement; with every breath her bosom threatened to spring out of her bodice, and she was still holding on to Sean"s arm. Candy, I want you to meet my wife, Katrina. My dear, this is Candy Rautenbach. How do you do. Katrina smiled uncertainly and Candy said the wrong thing. Sean, you"re joking! You married? Katrina"s smile faded. Candy noticed the change and went on quickly, But I must applaud your choice. I am so pleased to meet you, Katrina. We must get together sometime and I"ll tell you all about Sean"s terrible past. Candy was still holding Sean"s arm and Katrina was watching her hand, the long tapered fingers against the dark cloth of Sean"s suit. Sean saw the direction of Katrina"s eyes and tried tactfully to disengage himself but Candy held on. Sean, these are my two current beaux. They were standing to heel behind her like welltrained gundogs. They are both so nice I can"t make up my mind about them. Harry Lategaan and Derek Goodman. Boys, this is Sean Courtney. You"ve heard lots about him They shook hands all round.
Do you mind if we join you? asked Derek Goodman. I"d be upset if you didn"t! said Sean. The men spread out to find chairs while Candy and Katrina studied each other. Is this your first visit to Johannesburg Mrs Courtney? Candy smiled sweetly. I wonder where Sean found her, she"s thin as a stick and that complexion! that accent! he could have done better for himself, he could have had his pick.
Yes, we won"t be here very long though. She"s a harlot.
She must be, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s half-naked and the paint on her face and they way she touches Sean. She must have been his mistress. if she touches him again I"ll, I"ll kill her.
Sean came back to the table carrying a chair and set it down for Candy. Candy"s one of my old friends, my dear, I"m sure you two will like each otherI"m sure we will, said Candy but Katrina didn"t answer and Candy turned back to him. Sean, how wonderful it is to see you again. You look so well... as sunburnt and handsome as the first time I met you. Do you remember that day you and Duff came to eat at the Hotel? A shadow fell across Sean"s face at the mention of Duff"s name. Yes, I remember. He looked round and snapped his fingers for the waiter. Let"s have some more champagne. I"ll get it, Candy"s escorts cut in simultaneously and then started wrangling good-naturedly as to whose turn it was.
Is Duff with you tonight, Sean? Candy asked.
, candy, didn"t Derek get the drinks last time? It"s my turn now. Harry sought her support. Candy ignored them and looked at Sean for a reply but he turned and went round the table to the seat beside Katrina.
I say, old girl, can I have the first dance? asked Derek. I"ll spin you for it Derek, winner pays but getsfirst dance Harry suggested. You"re on. Sean, I said is Duff here tonight? I Candy looked at him across the table, No, he"s not. Listen, you two, how about letting me in on this. Sean avoided her eyes and joined in the haggle with Harry and Derek. Candy bit her lip, she wanted to press Sean further. She wanted to know about Duff, then suddenly she turned on her smile again. She wasn"t going to plead with him.
What is this? She tapped Harry"s shoulder with her fan. Am I going to be the prize in a game of chance!
Derek will pay for the wine and Sean gets first dance. I say old girl, that"s a bit rough, you know. But Candy was already standing up. Come on, Sean, let"s see if you can still tread a stately tneasure.
Sean glanced at Katrina. You don"t mind, do you...
just one dance!
Katrina shook her head.
I hate her. She"s a harlot. Katrina had never in her life spoken the word out loud, she had seen it only in her Bible, but now it gave her a fierce pleasure to think it.
She watched Sean and Candy walk arm-in-arm to the dance floor.
Would you care to dance, Mrs Courtney? said Derek.
Katrina shook her head again without looking at him. She was staring at Sean and Candy. She saw Sean take her in his arms and a cold lump settled in her stomach. Candy was looking up into Sean"s face, laughing at him, her arm on his shoulder, her hand in his.
She"s a harlot. Katrina felt her tears very near the surface and thinking that word held them back. Sean swirled Candy into a turn, Katrina stiffened in her chair, her hands clenching in her lap, their legs were touching, she saw Candy arch her back slightly and press her thighs against Sean. Katrina felt as though she were suffocating, jealousy had spread up cold and tight through her chest.
I could go and pull him away, she thought. I could stop him doing that, He has no right. It"s as though the two of them are doing, doing it together. I know they have before, I know it now, Oh G.o.d, make them stop it.
Please make them stop.
At last Sean and Candy came back to the table. They were laughing together and when he reached her chair Sean dropped his hand on Katrina"s shoulder, She moved away from it but Sean seemed not to notice. Everybody was having a good time. Everybody except Katrina. Harry and Derek were jostling for position. Sean"s big laugh kept booming out and Candy was sparkling like the diamonds she wore. Every few minutes Sean turned to Katrina and tried to draw her into the conversation but Katrina stubbornly refused to be drawn. She sat there hating them and Hating even Sean an, for the first time she was unsure of him, jealous and frightened for him. She stared down at her hands on the tablecloth in front of her and saw how bony they were, chapped and reddened by the sun and wind, ugly compared to Candy"s. She pulled them quickly into her lap and leaned across towards Sean. Please, I want to go back to the hotel. I don"t feel well.
Sean stopped in the middle of a story and looked at her with a mixture of concern and dismay. He didn"t want to leave and yet he knew she was still sick. He hesitated one second and then he said, Of course, my fancy, I"m sorry.
I didn"t realize, He turned to the others. We"ll have to be going... my wife"s not too strong... she"s just had one h.e.l.l of a go of blackwater. Oh, Sean, must you? Candy couldn"t hide her disappointment. There"s still so much to talk about! I"m afraid so. We"ll get together another night. $Yes, agreed Katrina quickly, next time we come to Johannesburg we"ll see you. Oh, I don"t know.. , perhaps before we go, Sean demurred. "Some night next week. How about Monday? Before Candy could answer Katrina interrupted.
Please, Sean, can we go now. I"m very tired. She started towards the stairs but looked back to see Candy jump up and take Sean"s arm, hold her lips close to his ear and whisper a question. Sean answered her tersely and Candy turned back to the table and sat down. When they were out on the street Katrina asked, What did she say to you? She just said goodbye, muttered Sean and Katrina knew he was lying. They didn"t talk again on the way back to the hotel. Katrina was preoccupied with her jealousy and Sean was thinking about what Candy had asked and what he had answered. Sean, where"s Duff? You must tell me. He"s dead, Candy. The second before she turned back to the table Sean had seen her eyes.
Sean woke with a headache and Dirk"s jumping on his chest did not help to ease it at all. Sean had to bribe him off with the promise of sweets. Dirk, sensing his advantage, raised his price to a packet of bull"s eyes and two lollipops, the kind with red stripes, before he allowed Katrina to lead him away to the bathroom. Sean sighed and settled back under the blankets. The pain moved up and crouched just behind his eyes. He could taste stale champagne on his own breath and his skin smelt of cigar smoke. He drowsed back in half sleep and the ache faded a little. Sean, it"s Sunday you know. Are you coming to church with us? Katrina asked coldly from the bedroom door.
Sean squeezed his eyelids closed.
Sean! No answer.
Sean! He opened one eye. Are you going to get up? I don"t feel very well, he croaked. I think I have a touch of malaria Are you coming? Katrina demanded remorselessly.
Her feelings towards him had not softened during the night. I don"t feel up to it this morning, truly I don"t. I"m sure the Good Lord will understand. , Thou shalt not take the Lord"s name in vain Katrina warned him with ice in her voice. I"m sorry. Sean pulled the blankets up to his chin defensively. But truly, fancy, I can"t get up for another couple of hours. My head would burst. Katrina turned back into the sitting-room and Sean heard her speak to Dirk in a voice purposely pitched to reach him. Your father"s not coming with us. We will have to go down to breakfast by ourselves. Then we will have to go to church on our own. But, Dirk pointed out, he"s going to buy me a packet of bull"s eyes and two lollipops with red stripes. In Dirk"s opinion that levelled the score. Sean heard the door of the suite close and Dirk"s voice receded down the pa.s.sage.
Sean relaxed slowly and waited for the ache behind his eyes to diminish. After a while he became aware of the coffee tray on the table beside the bed and he weighed the additional pain that the effort of sitting up would involve against the beneficial effect of a large cup of coffee. It was a difficult decision but in the end he carefully raised his body to a sitting position and poured a cupful. There was a small jug of fresh cream on the tray, he took it in his right hand and was just about to add a little to the cup when there was a knock on the sitting-room door. Come in! called Sean. He supposed it was the waiter coming to collect the tray. Sean searched his mind for a really scathing remark to send him on his way. He heard the sitting-room door open. Who is it! he asked. There were quick footsteps and then Sean started so violently that the cream slopped out of the jug onto his sheets and his new nightshirt. Good G.o.d, Candy, you shouldn"t have come here. Sean was in a frenzy of agitation. He put the jug back on the tray with nervous haste and wiped ineffectually at the mess on his nightshirt with his hands. If my wife...
Did anyone see you? You mustn"t stay. If Katrina knows you"ve been here she"ll... well I mean, she won"t understand. Candy"s eyes were puffy and Trimmed with red. She looked as though she hadn"t slept. It"s all right, Sean, I waited across the street until I saw your wife leave. One of my servants followed her, she went to the Dutch church on Commissioner Street and there the service lasts about fifty years She came into the room and sat down on the edge of his bed. I had to talk to you alone. I couldn"t let you go without knowing about Duff. I want you to tell me about it...
everything about it. I promise not to cry, I know how you hate it Candy, let"s not torture ourselves with it. He"s dead.
Let"s remember him alive. Sean had forgotten his headache for its place had been taken by pity for her and worry at the position in which she had placed him. Tell me, please. Now. I"d never rest again if I didn"t, she said quietly. Candy, don"t you see that it doesn"t matter? The way in which he went is not important. All that you need to know is he"s gone. Sean"s voice faded but went on softly, almost to himself, He"s gone, that is the only thing that matters, he"s gone and left us richer for knowing him and a little poorer for having lost him. Tell me, she said again and they looked at each other, their emotions locked behind expressionless faces. Then Sean told her, his words limping at first, then faster and stronger as the horror of it came back to him. When he had finished she said nothing. She sat on the edge of the bed staring down at the patterned carpet. Sean moved closer to her and put his arm around her. There is nothing we can do. That"s the thing about death, there is nothing you can do to make it change its mind. She leaned against him, against the comfort of his big body and they sat silently until suddenly Candy pulled away from him and smiled her gay brittle smile. And now tell me about you. Are you happy? Was that your son with Katrina? He"s a lovely child With relief Sean followed her away from the memory Of Duff. They talked about each other, filling in the blanks from the time they had last met until suddenly Sean returned to reality. Good G.o.d, Candy, we"ve been talking for ages. Katrina will be back at any moment. You had better run. At the door she turned, buried her fingers in his beard and tugged his head from side to side. If she ever throws you out, you magnificent brute, here"s somebody who"ll have a place for you. She stood up on her toes and kissed him. Be happy, she commanded and the door closed softly behind her.
Sean rubbed his chin, then he pulled off his nightshirt, screwed it into a ball, tossed it through the open door of the bedroom and went to the bathroom. He was towelling himself and whistling the waltz that the band had played the night before, sweating a little in the steamy warmth of the bathroom when he heard the front door open. Is that you, Fancy? Daddy! Daddy! Mummy got sweets for me. Dirk hammered on the bathroom door, and Sean wrapped the towel round his waist before opening it. Look! Look at all my sweets, gloated Dirk. Do you want one, Pa? Thank you, Dirk, Sean put one of the huge striped humbugs in his mouth, moved it to one side and spoke around it.
where"s your Mummy? There. Dirk pointed at the bedroom. He closed the sweet packet carefully. I"ll keep some for Bejaan, he announced. He"ll like that, Sean said and went across to the bedroom. Katrina lay on the bed, as soon as he saw her he knew something was desperately wrong. She lay staring up at the ceiling, her eyes unseeing, her face as yellow and set as that of a corpse. Two quick strides carried him to her. He touched her cheek with his fingers and the sense of dread settled on him again, heavily, darkly. Katrina? There was no response. She lay still without a flicker of life in her eyes. Sean swung round and ran out of the suite, down the corridor to the head of the stairs.
There were people in the lobby below him and he yelled over their heads to the clerk behind the desk. Get a doctor! run! an as fast as you can... my wife, is dying The man stared UP at him blankly. He had a neck too thin for his high stiff collar and his black hair was parted down the centre and polished with grease.
Hurry, you stupid b.a.s.t.a.r.d, get moving, roared Sean.
Everybody in the lobby was looking at him. He still wore only a small towel around his waist and, heavy with water, his hair hung down over his forehead.
Move, man! Move! Sean was dancing with impatience.
There was a heavy stone vase on the banister at Sean"s side, he picked it up threateningly and the clerk jerked out of his trance and scuttled for the front door. Sean ran back to the suite.
Dirk was standing by Katrina"s bed, his face distorted by the humbug it contained and his eyes large with curiosity.
Sean s.n.a.t.c.hed him up, carried him through to the other bedroom and locked the door on his outraged howls. Dirk was unused to being handled in that manner. Sean went back to Katrina and knelt beside her bed. He was still kneeling there when the doctor arrived. Tersely Sean explained about the blackwater, and the doctor listened then sent him to wait in the sitting-room. It was a long wait before the doctor came through to him and Sean sensed that behind his professional poker face the man was puzzled.
Is it a relapse? Sean demanded. No, I don"t think so. I"ve given her a sedativeWhat"s wrong with her?
What is it? - Sean pursued him and the doctor hedged. Has your wife had some sort of shock... some bad news, something that could have alarmed her? Has she been under nervous strain? No... she"s just come back from church. Why? What"s wrong? Sean caught the doctor"s lapels and shook him in his agitation. It appears to be some sort of paralytic hysteria. I"ve given her laudanum. She"ll sleep now and I"ll come back to see her this evening. The doctor was trying to loosen Sean"s hands from his jacket. Sean let him go and pushed past him to the bedroom.
The doctor called again just before dark, Sean had undressed Katrina and put her into the bed, but apart from that she had not moved. Her breathing was shallow and fast despite the drug she had been given. The doctor was baffled.
I can"t understand it, Mr Courtney. There is nothing I can find wrong with her apart from her general run-down condition. I think we"ll just have to wait and see, I don"t want to give her any more drugs. Sean knew the man could be of no more help to him and he hardly noticed when he left with a promise to come again in the morning. Mbejane gave Dirk his bath, fed him and put him to bed and then he slipped quietly out of the suite and left Sean alone with Katrina. The afternoon of worry had tired Sean. He left the gas burning in the sitting-room and stretched out on his own bed.