She bit her lower lip and did her best to get control. "It"s hard because it never occurred to me I could fall for him. I thought I was stronger than that."
"Loving someone doesn"t make you weak," Consuelo told her. "It might seem that way at first, but it"s not true. Love is complicated and messy but ultimately powerful."
"And in this case, a disaster," Taryn murmured.
She saw the other women exchanging glances and had no idea what they were thinking. The only thing that was clear was that they were going to be there for her if she needed them.
"I appreciate the support," she added. "I need to work through this myself. Please don"t say anything to anyone. I"m not ready to talk about it."
Isabel wrinkled her nose. "You sure about that? There"s kind of a Fool"s Gold tradition when there"s a breakup."
"What kind of tradition? I don"t want to be a festival queen or anything like that."
"There"s a girls" night," Dellina told her. "Everyone comes over with liquor and junk food. We get drunk and call the guy names."
Taryn held in a shudder. That meant talking about what had happened. She would rather not have that conversation ever.
"I"m not ready for that," she said firmly. "Seriously, please don"t tell anyone." She was too humiliated to have the information go public just yet.
"Let us know if you change your mind," Noelle told her. "We have ways of making you forget."
Taryn did her best to smile at the joke.
Losing Angel had been horrible, but finding friends was one of the good things that had happened to her since moving to town. Eventually she would heal and move forward.
She"d been reminded that love was a disaster and trusting men led to pain. It was a lesson that she was never going to allow herself to forget, ever again.
AFTER LUNCH, TARYN left Jo"s. She was feeling a little better. At least she wasn"t crying anymore and the gnawing pain in her chest had faded to something she was going to be able to stand.
It was being around her friends, she thought. They were good women and she appreciated them and their support. As she headed to her car she wondered how different her life would have been if she"d had friends like this earlier. Like in high school. Not that she would have trusted anyone enough to let them know what was going on. Or maybe it wasn"t all about trust. Maybe shame was a component, too.
She drove back to Score and parked in the lot. A battered Subaru pulled in next to her and Bailey got out.
Taryn smiled at the other woman. "How"s Chloe? Is she doing okay?"
Bailey circled her car and nodded. "She"s great. I was afraid the whole flash flood experience would give her nightmares, but it didn"t. She"s not afraid or anything bad." Bailey wore a T-shirt over jeans. She shifted her car keys from hand to hand.
"Taryn, I want to thank you for all you and Angel did with her. Being in the Acorns has really allowed Chloe to find her way back to the wonderful girl she was before. I"ve been worried about her. Losing her dad was horrible. She got so quiet. I talked to her pediatrician and she suggested I give it time, but that if she wasn"t making strides in a few months, we should try therapy. I kept putting that off. I guess I didn"t want there to be anything wrong with her."
Taryn could understand that concern. Especially when it came to a child.
"Once she joined the Acorns, everything changed. She has friends again. She"s talking all the time."
"Too much?" Taryn asked, her voice teasing.
Bailey smiled. "Maybe a little, but I keep telling myself I"m not going to complain." Her smile faded. "When we lost Will, we were both devastated. It was one thing when he was away on deployment, but knowing he was never coming back..."
Taryn nodded. "I"m sorry," she whispered, knowing her pain was nothing when compared to losing a husband. She was tough. She would get over this and no one would ever know she"d been broken in the first place.
"I appreciate the sympathy, I do, but it"s okay. It was worth it. Will was a good, good man. He loved me and he loved Chloe. We were his world and we both knew that."
Bailey paused. "Watching Chloe blossom again has helped me so much." She shrugged. "Sorry. I"m talking too much."
"You"re not. I"m so happy we could help. Chloe is a wonderful girl. You have every right to be proud of her."
"I am." Her mouth twisted. "After the campout, Chloe"s mentioned I should find her another daddy."
"Angel?" Taryn asked before she could stop herself.
"What? No. Oh, is that what you thought?" The smile returned. "He"s amazing, but there"s no way I could handle a man like him. He"s much more your style. You"re strong and powerful and he needs that."
The a.s.sessment of them as a couple and of her individually was both kind and unexpected.
"I"m not feeling especially powerful today," Taryn admitted.
"It"ll come back."
Taryn leaned against her car. "So if not Angel, is there someone else?"
"I don"t think so. I"m not ready to date." She ducked her head. "And I"d have to lose thirty pounds. I think I"d rather eat cookies."
Taryn watched Bailey and for a second thought she saw a blush on the other woman"s cheeks. Was it possible Bailey had someone in mind? She"d made it clear that she wasn"t interested in Angel, which was good. Taryn didn"t need another kick in the gut right now.
"You don"t need to lose any weight," Taryn told her. "You"re gorgeous."
"Thanks, but we both know that"s not true." Bailey shrugged. "Right now I don"t care enough to deal with my weight. I have enough stress in my life what with job hunting." She tilted her head. "I never thanked you for the dress."
Taryn cleared her throat. "You mean the party? I didn"t do any of the work. Trust me, Dellina took care of most of it and Isabel handled the rest. My skill is delegating."
Bailey"s green gaze settled on Taryn"s face. "You bought me the dress, Taryn. I know you did. If I had a bigger ego I"d say you arranged the whole clothing exchange party so you could give it to me without me thinking it was charity."
"Uh, I have no idea what you"re talking about."
"Yes, you do, but you can pretend if it makes you feel better. You"re a really good person. Thank you. I know you"d never accept money for what you did, so I"m going repay you by doing something like that for another person, when I get the chance."
Taryn felt her eyes burning again. There was no way she was going to cry out in the Score parking lot, but Bailey"s words touched her.
"It wasn"t me," she said firmly. "But I"m glad you have the dress for your interviews."
"I do, and shoes." Bailey smiled. "I signed up for a computer refresher course at the community college. It"s three Sat.u.r.days and by the end, I"ll be familiar with the new versions of the popular spreadsheet and calendar programs. Then I"ll be getting resumes and starting the job hunt."
"Getting on with your life."
"I am." Bailey paused. "I know you hear this all the time, but I have to say it. You"re an inspiration, Taryn. I admire all you"ve accomplished. You"re successful and tough, but you do it with your own style. I mean, seriously-look at how you dress. It"s fantastic."
Taryn glanced down at her Dolce & Gabbana silk brocade dress. It was sleeveless and bright with a floral print. "This old thing?" she said with a grin.
Bailey flung her arms around her. "You know what you like and you go after it." Bailey released her. "We could all learn from you."
"I don"t understand why my clothes are such a big deal."
"They signify who you are. You don"t care if it"s Fool"s Gold or Los Angeles. You"re going to wear what you want and do what you want and live how you want. You have style and you"re good at your job and you"re a great friend. I guess I"m saying I want to be like you when I grow up."
The tears were back. Taryn didn"t try to stop them. Instead she sniffed. "That"s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. But I have to tell you, I"m a complete mess. Just so you know."
"We"re all a mess, Taryn. But you always look good."
Taryn laughed. "Style over substance." She wiped away her tears. "I"m glad about Chloe. She"s wonderful."
"Thanks. I can"t take all the credit, but I think she"s pretty amazing, too."
The women hugged. For a second Taryn thought about creating a position for Bailey at Score. Only they didn"t need anyone and she knew Bailey would prefer to find a real job on her own. There was a difference between getting a little help-like a dress-and living the life of a fake job.
"Let me know if I can help in any way with the job search," Taryn told her.
"I will. In fact, I"d appreciate you looking over my resume."
"Happy to."
Bailey waved and headed back to her car. Taryn walked into the office. There was still a giant hole where her heart had been, but she thought maybe, just maybe, she"d taken the first step in what would be a long journey to healing.
"I NEVER THOUGHT anything like that could happen here."
"I"ve never heard about anything like that!"
"The water came up so fast."
"I couldn"t stop screaming, which wasn"t helpful."
Angel had already endured far too many hugs and pats since showing up at the Grove Keeper meeting. Everyone wanted to know if Taryn and the Acorns were okay. Then it seemed there was going to be a real-time recounting of the night"s events.
Denise finally got them all to sit down.
"We have a lot of end-of-year business to discuss," she said. "Next Sat.u.r.day is the parade. All the groves will be marching together. Once again Plants for the Planet is kind enough to donate the wreaths for everyone to wear. So if you need a new plant or want to take someone flowers, please give them your business and tell them how much we all appreciate their support."
"Wreaths?" Angel asked the Grove Keeper sitting next to him.
"Like little crowns," the woman told him. "They have ribbons flowing down the back. They"re completely adorable. Each grove has its own color. The girls love being in the parade. At the end, they get their family bead and then move up to the next level of FWM. Later, there"s a graduation ceremony for the girls who are now leaving the organization."
"Thanks," Angel said, thinking he really had to read the entire Grove Keeper Handbook. But every time he went past the Acorn pages, he found something that made him uncomfortable. Like lessons on the feminine cycle.
Thinking about that reminded him of how Taryn had laughed when he"d first mentioned it. She"d pointed out he wouldn"t have to deal with any cycles for a while and that if it came up, she would handle it. Only that wasn"t going to happen now. She wouldn"t be around. Not in the FWM. He"d made sure of that.
It had been over a week, he thought grimly. He"d caught sight of her twice but was pretty sure she hadn"t seen him. Which was how he wanted things. Fool"s Gold was small enough that eventually they would run into each other, but he would prefer that to be later rather than sooner.
Thinking about her made him wonder how she was. If she was doing okay. He hoped so. He wanted her to be happy. There was a part of him that wanted her to be happy with him. Only he knew...
His gut twisted as longing washed over him. He missed her more than he would have thought possible. He missed her laugh, her humor, her shrewd intelligence. He missed how she loved her "boys" and terrorized them at the same time. Probably because that reminded him of Consuelo, who was like family to him. He missed her sa.s.sy walk, her ridiculous shoes and the way she smelled. He wanted her in his arms and his bed and he wanted to be able to tell her that, yes, he loved her, too.
Only he couldn"t. He got it-the irony. That he could save her from a flood only to dump her because she"d been stupid enough to fall for him. Talk about a hero. He"d gotten her to trust him, then punished her for doing just that.
He wanted to tell her that he"d done it for her own good. That he wasn"t anyone she should count on. He hadn"t been able to protect Marie and Marcus and he sure as h.e.l.l couldn"t protect her.
Only this was Taryn and he knew that she would tell him she was more than capable of taking care of herself. She didn"t want a knight in shining armor; she wanted a partner. Someone she could count on. She would say she believed in him.
The problem was, he couldn"t believe in himself. Not enough to risk her.
Mayor Marsha walked into the meeting. She spoke to Denise before addressing the Grove Keepers.
"I"ve talked to all the parents," the mayor said. "Everyone appreciates how well the unexpected flash flood was handled. You especially, Angel."
All the Grove Keepers turned to look at him. Denise smiled as if he"d just done something brilliant.
"You went back into danger," the mayor continued. "Risking your own life to save our girls." Her expression shifted to stern. "I hope you"ll be talking to Chloe and Regan about following instructions."
"I already have," he a.s.sured her. "We"re also discussing it at the grove meeting."
"Good." Mayor Marsha shook her head. "The flash flood surprised everyone. The storm wasn"t supposed to park over the mountains. We were very fortunate. The situation could have been much worse." She sighed wearily. "I don"t like to think about how bad it could have been. We really need to get serious about a search-and-rescue group in town." She smiled at them. "But that is not for you to worry about. Thank you, everyone. You handled our emergency extremely well."
With that, she nodded and left.
The meeting continued. Angel took notes because he wasn"t listening and he would need to know what to do later. He kept thinking about Taryn and how he"d failed her. He wanted what she offered, but at the same time, he knew the danger of going there. Better for both of them if he didn"t mess up her life, too. If he didn"t let her think he would take care of her.
In his head he knew that the storm and single-car accident that had claimed his wife and son weren"t anything he could have prevented, but his gut told him otherwise. His gut warned him that giving in, leading with his heart would end with the destruction of the one person he most wanted to keep safe.
CHAPTER TWENTY.
TARYN NODDED AND the head designer clicked on the next slide. "Market projections make it clear that the trend is going to continue for at least the next five years. While consumers can be fickle, the market research firm we used has a ninety percent accuracy rate. By staging the campaign, we"ll be able to judge success at predetermined points and make any adjustments necessary."
The presentation for Living Life at a Run had started early. Or maybe the problem was she still wasn"t sleeping, she thought as she smiled at Cole, then took her seat at the conference table. Jude turned on the overhead lights.
Jack rose. "You can see why we keep Taryn around," he said with a wink. "She could easily moonlight as a field general."
Cole, a short guy with broad shoulders and a stocky build, nodded. "I see where you"re going and I like it."
That was something, Taryn thought, careful to keep her expression pleasant. Cole was one of those people who rubbed her the wrong way. She hadn"t liked him from the second he"d walked into Score that morning. But she had worked with clients she didn"t like before. She and Cole didn"t have to be friends.