"Get the h.e.l.l out of here!"Yes, it"s me.
Formerly known as Bart, my current name is too weird to spell it out. While I"m obviously capable of doing that, you, my fellow earthlings would never be able to. What? Earthlings? Let me explain everything from scratch.
Just yesterday, I was your typical American teenager. You know what that means, right? Waking up in the American dream, eating sweet pancakes first thing in the morning, going to school... What could go wrong?
Here is where you are wrong. Apparently, G.o.d played a prank on me! I wasn"t hit by a truck-kun. I didn"t drown, die from seizure or even got smashed to the ground by a falling plus-size beauty! I just went to my high-school, day like everything. Greeting my friends on the way, I pretended to not see their disgusted looks as they ignored my waving hand.
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Figures.
No one likes ugly, fat kids! When everyone thinks that murican high-school life circulates around learning, playing basketball with friends and hitting on chicks... My Parents made sure that I won"t be a part of those activities! Feeding me junk food day by day, sitting me down in front of the TV instead of prompting me to go outside... They were the failure of the parents!
Yeah, I loved them!
With all the working hours they took to take care of the family financial needs, it"s no wonder they didn"t have time to properly educate me. In those rare times when the overtime got cancelled, I could see their looks filled with worry when they thought that I don"t see them... But let"s stop speaking about that.
So I go to the school, all happy and motivated to try my best at not scoring another F for the test. The first subject pa.s.sed as usual. I went to the corridor to break to prevent big bullies from my cla.s.s from... well... bullying me. Picking on the weak is their speciality!
Just when I heard the school bell calling us back for the second subject, I heard a commotion at the doors. Within my dumb head, I thought that maybe someone will need my help, maybe that was my time to be a hero!
It wasn"t.
Due to the influx of school deathmatches played by some sick b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, our inst.i.tution got provided by the government with a macho.
Well, he is called a guardian, but there are reasons why I call him like that! You know, two meters tall, handsome as far as a straight person like me can say...
When I arrived, all I could see was the potential aggressor falling down and dropping his gun. Our macho was a former marine after all. It would be strange if he was unable to subdue some small fry...
At this point, I"m sadly forced to guessing. Maybe his gun dropped down, shot and killed me on the spot? Maybe I was so scared that I suffered from a seizure? Or maybe some other ridiculous stuff happened. I don"t know!
All that I can say with certainty, was that the G.o.d who appeared immediately after, made a really funny face when he saw me! You should"ve seen it for yourself!
"You died a tragic death!"
"...will be reincarnated to a wonderful world!"
"I won"t leave you without a parting gift!"
The wonderful world my a.s.s.
While it"s true that I got reincarnated, given a second chance, this G.o.d apparently forgot to equip me with at least a basic set of skillset necessary to survive in my position!
Yes, I received his gift. Instead of being born as an infant, I am a son of the grand elder of a powerful clan! To be honest, he did his job here properly. All the necessary knowledge about this world is right where it should be. All the memories as well. Thanks to that, I know that I"m utter trash!
Born without a gift for cultivation. Not even a shred of an innate talent! For sixteen years my wonderful father was investing insane amounts of clan"s wealth into various medicines and scholars but to no avail. Why I"m getting banished from the clan then, you might ask? Well, the one banishing me is not my father.
The clan leader returned from his voyages barely a week ago. Noticing the state of family finances, he pummeled my lovely father to the point that this saviour of mine actually spewed up blood! Can you imagine this? Seeing your beloved father coughing up blood after being furiously bashed by an arrogant young master?
Why do I call him a young master? Let me explain. Our real clan head - my dear and benevolent uncle - died during his travels. While I think I know what happened, if I dare to say this out loud, instead of banishing, I will end up killed!
"You utter trash! You ruined my father"s fortune! If you don"t disappear from my sight at this moment, I will feed you to the dogs!"
Yep, thats the situation I"m in right now. All the bliss promised to me by G.o.d ended up after one day. What can I do then? I rub my small spatial ring - the last gift offered to me by my father before he got locked up - turn around and leave. I will most probably die in a matter of days in the outside world, but it"s still better than being torn apart by the so-called "dogs" of our clan.
Have you ever heard the terms "Magical beasts"?
They do exist. Maybe not on earth, but here, they are as real as you can get. Twice the size of the biggest dog I saw on the internet in my previous life. I have some fond memories of them. It"s better to die to some stray toxic snake than to make some traumatic memories for those lovely puppies!
As I walk away from the main plaza of our clan mansion, I"m escorted by the pitying looks of the clan"s guards. According to the memories I received, I used to play with them since I was a baby. It"s no wonder they still hold some attachments to me.
"Farewell Victor, Farewell Mike"
As I pa.s.s them, I stop for a moment. Nodding my head slightly, I pay my last respects to the people who watched me grow. As I walk away and sent my last look towards the mansion that I spent my whole life in, I can see some tears lingering in the corner of their eyes. The last goodbye to the Hectra clan young master.
"Activating the Earthling System"
"Activation succesfull"
"Implementing the first layer of blessing"
"Implementation succesfull"
"Creating user window"
"Creation succesfull"
"Adding decorations"
"Adding decorations failed"
"Adding decorations"
"Adding decorations failed"
"Adding decorations…..
With a sudden burst, a strings of messages appear in front of my eyes. For some reason, my body is stuck to the last action I took, making my legs carry me away from the Hectra lands.
"Adding decorations"
"Adding decorations failed"
"Adding decorations"
"Adding decorations failed"
With the same message reappearing in my head over and over again, my consciousness starts to fade away. As I keep walking in the straight line, I can"t even follow the road. In less than a few minutes since the messages appeared for the first time, I leave the road and enter into a vast and insanely dangerous forest. It seems that this reincarnation was just a silly joke of G.o.d, punishment for not trying harder in my previous life!
As the last bit of energy leaves my body and mind, my vision blurs. I can"t see anything anymore. I can"t anything anymore. I think I"m dying.
"Flood messages alarm. Bugged section quarantined. Continuing the installation."
"Granting the starting gift"
"Remodeling host innate structure"
"Installation completed"