"I couldn"t hate you, either." She rocked against him, creating sparks of pleasure. He could make love to her without a problem, just as he"d thought. But could he commit to her, as well? Because taking Eve to bed would be different from being with anyone else. He wouldn"t be able to move on afterward, not if there was any danger it would hurt her.
For a second he panicked, realized he"d be trading away too much. He loved Eve, but he didn"t feel the intense romantic attraction he"d experienced with Sophia. That was what pa.s.sion felt like. That was what falling in love felt like, falling in love so deeply he didn"t care if he drowned. But Eve was a good woman, a woman who deserved to have the husband and babies she wanted. He could give her that, couldn"t he? Maybe, with time, he could feel about her the way he"d felt about Sophia.
Either way, once she untied her bikini top and let it fall, it was too late to back out.
15.
Sophia was still worried about Alexa when she arrived at work the following morning. Her daughter had insisted on going to school despite yesterday"s attack. She was afraid she"d fail math if she didn"t. Her grades were slipping, which was no surprise given everything they were going through. But Sophia didn"t feel good about letting her go to cla.s.s. Late last night, after spending the entire evening with her and not going out for Halloween at all, Lex had finally broken down and explained what had happened. Babette, the girl she"d hung out with most before Skip died, had turned on her. She"d told Connie, a girl who was often kicked out of school for fighting or ditching, that Alexa had said all kinds of terrible things about her. It was a lie, of course, but Connie had exacted her revenge while everyone else stood around, sealing off Alexa"s retreat and cheering the other girl on.
The whole encounter was senseless and stupid-mean, catty games. Babette enjoyed being the leader of the popular group now that Alexa had been deposed, and Connie was probably enjoying the notoriety her actions brought.
Sophia feared yesterday"s incident might not be the end of it. So she again brought up the possibility of moving. This time, Alexa was amenable to it, but Sophia knew they couldn"t go just yet. Relocating required money they didn"t have. There"d be rent and a car payment, neither of which Sophia was paying now. She would also need some a.s.surance that she"d be able to get a job in their new town or city. She couldn"t risk giving Ted notice until then.
Bottom line, leaving Whiskey Creek wasn"t a viable option at the moment. But she"d promised Alexa they"d shoot for that. Eventually they"d leave and start over somewhere else.
She was so preoccupied when she arrived at Ted"s that she didn"t think too much of it when he didn"t answer the door. Her impression from yesterday was that he preferred to go about his business and leave her to cook and clean as she saw fit. So when she tried the handle and found it unlocked, she let herself in. She was looking up at the third level to determine whether he was on his computer, or maybe showering, when she saw several puddles of water on the floor.
She got a towel out of the cleaning closet and wiped up each one. They led up the stairs, past his office. She a.s.sumed he"d been in the hot tub last night and hadn"t bothered to dry off before coming inside, because they led all the way to his bedroom.
Then she spotted something else-a bikini top slung over the bannister. The bottom of the same suit was right outside his bedroom door, in the biggest puddle of all, as if it"d been cast off en route to his bed.
Holy s.h.i.t! She turned to hurry back down the stairs. She didn"t want to see him with someone else-didn"t want to face the way it would make her feel. But his bedroom door opened at that moment and Eve, of all people, emerged. Wearing his sweats.
"Sophia, I"m sorry," she said when they both froze and gaped at each other. "We couldn"t tell if that was the doorbell. We...we were groggy...not quite awake."
We. Sophia felt as if Eve had slugged her in the stomach. She wasn"t sure why. Ted had the right to take whoever he wanted to bed, even a close friend. She"d always a.s.sumed he was sleeping with other women. He was a single, virile man in his thirties. Of course he was sleeping with other women. He wouldn"t remain celibate all his life just because she"d married someone else.
But she"d never had to encounter him with a love interest. He hadn"t had a single steady girlfriend since they broke up, not one she"d known about. And she"d certainly never dreamed he was sleeping with Eve!
When her cheeks flushed hot, she hoped Eve wouldn"t notice-but Eve seemed equally embarra.s.sed. "It"s no problem. I...I didn"t see your car outside or I wouldn"t have let myself in. I figured Ted was in the shower."
Eve"s hands kept messing with her hair, tucking it behind her ears or smoothing it down-more evidence of her self-consciousness. "My car"s not here. I-I rode over with Ted last night."
Sophia nodded. The towel in her hands made what she was doing obvious, but she still felt compelled to explain her presence outside his bedroom door. "I only came up here because I saw the water on the floor and was trying to-to dry it before someone could slip." She picked up the bikini and handed both pieces to Eve. "I"ll get breakfast and make enough for two." She headed down the stairs but paused on the landing. "Should I set places in the dining room or would you like me to bring the food up on a tray?"
"I wasn"t planning to stay," Eve said. "I need to get home so I can dress and go over to the B and B."
Sophia willed her pulse to slow, but that seemed futile. "Are you sure? Because I could whip up some eggs really fast."
"Ted"s getting in the shower. That"ll take a few minutes, so...I"ll go to work and eat there. Maybe the three of us can have a meal together another time." She smiled as if that was a possibility but Sophia knew it wasn"t.
"Absolutely. Do you need a ride?"
Eve dangled a set of keys. "Ted"s letting me take his car."
"I see."
"Your costume"s folded on a chair in the game room, by the way. Thanks for lending it to me. Last night was a lot of fun."
Sophia didn"t doubt it. How many times had she imagined herself back in Ted"s bed? Those fantasies, and a great deal of alcohol, had pulled her through thirteen years of being married to the wrong person.
A flash of pain warned Sophia that she was digging too deeply at her cuticles, but the pain didn"t outweigh the relief it somehow gave her. Even the knowledge that she was making her hands ugly didn"t stop her. "I"m glad I could help. You-you"ve been so good to me."
Sophia heard movement in the room behind Eve. Afraid that Ted would appear wearing nothing but a satisfied grin and a pair of boxers, she made a concerted effort to get away. She didn"t want to see him kiss Eve goodbye. Nor did she want him to see her standing at the bottom of the stairs, gaping up at them in envy. "I"ll go and start the coffee."
Once she reached the privacy of the kitchen, she sank into a chair and rested her head in her hands. What did you expect? That he"d choose you?
Of course he wouldn"t. Why would he? Besides, she liked Eve and wanted her to be happy.
"I"ll see you later."
She jumped as Eve, still dressed in Ted"s clothes since she was returning the Halloween costume, ducked her head into the room. "Have a-a good day," Sophia managed to stutter.
Eve paused. "Everything"s going okay for you here?"
"Oh, yes. Great." Pasting yet another smile on her face, she prayed Eve wouldn"t realize that she hadn"t started the coffee. She hadn"t done a d.a.m.n thing except try to regain her equilibrium.
"I"m glad to hear it." With a wave, she was gone. But it wasn"t long before Ted came down, showered and wearing a T-shirt with a darker pair of jeans than he"d had on yesterday. He hadn"t shaved, but that made him look better instead of worse. Fortunately, by the time he appeared she had coffee brewing and was scrambling some eggs.
"Morning," he said.
She didn"t look up. "Morning."
"You okay?"
At first, she a.s.sumed he"d read what she was feeling. But then she saw that her thumb was bleeding and grabbed a paper towel to wipe the blood. "Fine."
He came closer. "Did you cut yourself or..."
She hid her hands behind her back. "No."
Two lines formed between his eyes. "I thought I saw blood."
"It"s nothing. I"ll get a Band-Aid."
When he sat down at the kitchen table, she cursed silently. He was going to stay until she"d cooked breakfast. She hadn"t done so well when he"d been watching her type, so she tried to pay particular attention to what she was doing now.
"Eve told me what happened to Lexi yesterday," he said. "I"m sorry about that."
She kept her eyes on her skillet because she couldn"t bear to look at him quite yet. "Thanks. Um...you can get to work if you want. I"ll bring this up when it"s ready."
"I"ll go in a second." His chair squeaked against the floor, but he didn"t get up, even though she"d just given him the perfect opportunity to flee the kitchen. "Will you be able to get the details?"
"Excuse me?" She forced herself to glance at him.
"I"m talking about the fight-what happened to Alexa."
She returned her attention to the food. "There"s nothing I can do about that, even if I learn the details."
"You can go to the school, talk to the princ.i.p.al."
"Lex begged me not to. She said that would only make the kids treat her worse."
"So is she at home today or..."
"She couldn"t miss math. Her-her grades are...not what they should be. We"re both afraid she"ll end up having to repeat seventh grade if we"re not careful, and we don"t want that."
"Of course not."
Thankfully, the eggs were done and she could scoop them onto a plate. "Would you like some toast?"
"Please."
She put two slices in the toaster and poured him a cup of coffee, which she carried to the table before bringing over his eggs. She didn"t bother with cream or sugar. She knew he liked his coffee black. "I could cut up some fruit, too, if you like."
He caught her hand as she let go of his plate and frowned when he saw the damage to her fingers. "What are you doing to yourself? Doesn"t that hurt?"
"Not really," she lied, pulling away so she could hide her hands again.
"They look sore."
"They"re fine. I"ll take care of it tonight."
"Why don"t you take care of it now? There"re some Band-Aids in my bathroom."
She gestured as if she"d do anything to get him to stop pressing her. "Okay. I-I"ll bring you a new box tomorrow."
"I"m not worried about the price of a box of Band-Aids."
His toast popped up and she hurried over to b.u.t.ter it. She planned to put the rest of his breakfast on his plate and get out of there until he finished eating, but he spoke before she could clear the door.
"Did he abuse you, Sophia?"
She knew about the rumors that"d gone through town, knew he was talking about Skip. The tone of his voice, itself a request for her to level with him, tempted her to admit the truth at last. She"d had to lie for so long. But she didn"t want word of what she"d suffered to get back to Lex.
Besides, she was pitiable enough in her current situation. "No."
"How do you explain the bruises?"
She couldn"t meet his eyes. Every time she did, she pictured him with Eve. "I guess I"m just clumsy."
Ted was back at his desk, but he wasn"t doing any more writing than yesterday. He kept thinking about last night and the fact that he"d slept with Eve. He"d known what he was doing. He"d made a conscious decision to take Eve to bed. So why did he feel so c.r.a.ppy today?
He listened to the sound of the vacuum as Sophia cleaned the house. She was working hard and fast, reminding him of the white tornado he"d once seen on a commercial. He couldn"t even convince her to stop and have lunch.
And her hands. s.h.i.t, she was destroying them.
He thought about how she"d responded when he"d asked if Skip had abused her. Her mouth said no, but her eyes- His phone rang. For a change, he was hoping it"d be his mother. He wanted to tell her that he was dating Eve, wanted to hear her excitement now that he finally had a serious love interest-one she and everyone else could be happy about. He thought that might erase the doubts nagging at him, help him believe he"d made the right choice.
But it wasn"t Rayma. It was his new girlfriend.
"Hey." When he answered, he infused his voice with more excitement than he felt. "How are you today?"
"Fine. You?"
"Great. Why wouldn"t I be great?" He rolled his eyes. He was acting odd, and even he could tell.
"You"re not freaked out?" She sounded hesitant, eager to be rea.s.sured.
He kneaded his forehead. "Of course not."
"That"s a relief. Because last night was-" she laughed "-last night blew my mind. And it"s going to blow everyone else"s when they find out we"re together now. But I"ll just say this-if I"d known you were that good in bed, I would"ve jumped your bones a long time ago."
She wasn"t bad herself. And it was nice of her to stroke his ego. So why did he feel like crawling under his desk? "It was...amazing," he said weakly.
"We could have another amazing night."
He felt himself cringe. "When?"
"You could come over for dinner."
Tonight? No. He didn"t want to see her again so soon. He needed time to regroup. But he wasn"t about to admit it. He"d made himself a promise that he"d see this through no matter what. "I have to work late but...after?"
"Fine. We"ll have dessert."
"Okay."
"Eight-thirty work for you?"
"Yeah. But you have my car."
"I"ll pick you up."
"Perfect."
"Um..."
He clenched his jaw when she didn"t say goodbye. Please, G.o.d, don"t let her say she loves me. Anything but that. "What is it?"
"When are we going to tell the others?"