bed switched on she could see the stars above the skyline. With a sigh she reached out and turned off the light. Just for a moment she would rest her eyes before she climbed into the shower to soak away the stiffness and pain of the night.
As she sank further into sleep the shadows grew closer and the whispers in the sand grew louder.
She was woken by the sun. Hot. Red. Fiery behind her eyelids. She could feel the abrasive heat on her face, the raw bite of every breath in her lungs, the rasp of sand in her sandals. Slowly she walked towards the entrance of the temple, shaking her head against the haze which seemed to surround her, now crawling across the sand on her belly like a snake, now drifting on the air with the falcon and the circling ever-watchful vulture.
She was drifting, rootless, overwhelmed with anger, then cold with fear as the G.o.ds came near and shook their heads and turned away.
"Anna? Anna!"
Voices echoed in her head, then died away, carried on the desert wind from the south.
"Anna? Can you hear me? Oh G.o.d, what"s happened to her?"
She smiled as the sweet scents of flowers and fruit blew across the sand from the temple buildings. Aniseed and cinnamon, dill and thyme, figs and pomegranate, olive and grape and sweet juicy dates. Herbs from the carefully irrigated gardens, and from the incense rooms, resins and oils.
Her hands reached out towards the dazzling light. She could feel the sticky richness of wine and honey on her palms. Oh beloved land, Ta-Mera, land of the flood and of the fire.
"Anna!" It was Toby"s voice, Toby"s hands on her shoulders, her arms. Anna, what"s wrong?" He was far away, his voice an echo across time. Then there were other voices, bright lights in her eyes, fingers on her pulse. She shrugged. They were distant and unimportant. The sun was setting in a blaze of crimson. Soon the stars would shine out across the desert: the great river in the sky, the milky way, mirror image of the river below and, brighter than any other, the sacred star, Sept, the dog star at the heel of the G.o.d Osiris.
Then all was dark. She slept. When she woke she felt the cold 368.
sweet waters of the Nile on her lips. Voices again, echoing over untold distances, the silence and darkness again.
"Anna!" That was Serena. "Anna, you"re going home."
But this was home. The home of the G.o.ds, the land of the sun G.o.d, Ra.
Strange. She was in a car. She could feel the rattle of wheels, hear the blast of horns, smell exhaust fumes, but they were all so far away. There was a strong arm round her shoulders and she leant on it gratefully, her body tired beyond all endurance whilst her brain still yearned towards the desert and the sun.
She slept again. The scream of jet engines was the mighty roar of the cataracts inside her head, the swirling water lit by rainbows beneath the dark Nilotic rock, the lift of the wheels from the tarmac, the free flight of the great falcon from whose eyes the whole land of Egypt could be seen.
Obediently she sipped fruit juice and nibbled a piece of bread. Her eyelids closed. Her head filled again with the shriek of the wind, the fury of a dust storm, and the fierce sword stroke of desert lightning above clouds that would never give birth to rain.
Above her head Serena and Toby exchanged glances and frowned. When the cabin attendant brought more food they waved her on.
The air of England was ice-rimed and sharp. In the taxi Anna stirred. The voice inside her head grew querulous. The being that stared out of her eyes grew restless. Where was the sun?
Anna grew weaker every second. "I"m sorry to land all this on you, Ma. We didn"t know where to take her." Toby"s voice was clear suddenly, his arm, still there around her, guiding her, giving her strength. "She lives alone, and as we told you, Charley is at Serena"s so there is no room there, and I don"t know how to contact her family."
"Take her upstairs, darling." The voice that answered his was kind and deep, cultured and rea.s.suring. "Let her sleep. The doctor is on his way."
She sank down into the soft warm bed and felt the embrace of duck down, the support of fluffy pillows in the cool darkness of an English bedroom.
Bit by bit his grip was loosening, the parasitical hold on her life 369.
force was weaker each moment she lay asleep under cold northern skies. Egypt was far away.
The priest of Sekhmet looked out of an English woman"s eyes at a strange and alien world and felt sudden overwhelming fear.
370.I am Yesterday and Today; and I have the power to be born a second time. Let the decree of Amen-Ra, the king of the G.o.ds, the great G.o.d, the prince of that which hath come into being from the beginning, be performed.The fever that kills everyone in the house of the merchant shocks his neighbours and his friends. His nephew comes to retrieve his treasures and boxes them up to take them to the bazaar. Much money changes hands over the weeks and months that follow. The pretty bottle, fit gift for a lady, with the piece of paper that tells its legend, stands on the shelf and beckons. The priests, strong and angry, fight one against the other in the halls of the heavens and rend the curtains of darkness with their spears. The merchant who looks after the stall in the bazaar falls sick. His last sale is to a handsome young man whose eyes are alight with love and who seeks a gift for his special lady.
371."Anna, are you awake?" Frances Hayward put her tray down near the door and crossing to the window pulled back the heavy curtains so that the watery winter sunshine poured in across the patchwork coverlet. She turned to view her charge. The woman she saw lying propped up on the pillows was pale and very thin, her long dark hair strewn across the sprigged cotton; her large green eyes, opening slowly to view the room for the first time clearly, were deeply undershadowed with exhaustion and strain.
For days now the strange amnesia which had been blanketing her mind and preventing her from functioning on any but the most basic level had been growing lighter. She smiled at Frances as she pulled herself up against the pillows. The room already scented by the bowl of pink hyacinths on the table in front of the window was suddenly full of the smell of rich coffee and toast.
"So, how do you feel?" Frances put the tray on Anna"s knees then she sat down beside her. There was a second cup of coffee on the tray and she helped herself to it, her eyes on Anna"s face.
Anna shook her head. "Confused. Woolly. My memory is so muddled. It doesn"t seem to be coming back." She glanced quickly at Frances. Her hostess was a tall woman with wild curly grey hair. She had strong bones and a handsome face. The resemblance to Toby was there, oblique but unmistakable.
She met Anna"s gaze steadily and smiled. "Shall I tell you again? I"m Toby"s mother, Frances. You have been here three weeks now. You remember who Toby is?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow.
Anna was playing with a small piece of toast. When there was no response Frances went on, "You met him on a Nile cruise. You became ill during your last few days there. Toby and your friend Serena didn"t know what to do, so they brought you here."
"And you"ve been looking after a complete stranger." Anna crumbled the piece of toast between her fingers.
"It"s been a pleasure for me. But I"m worried, my dear. You must have friends and family who are wondering where you are."
372.
Anna picked up her coffee cup and blew gently at the hot steam. The smell cut deep into her brain and she frowned, trying to cudgel her memory. There was so much there, just out of reach, like a dream that slips away even as one wakes up. There were pictures of sand dunes and shimmering heat, of the brilliant blue of the river and the green of the palms, but no faces, no names, nothing to pin anything to. She sipped the coffee again and frowned.
"Toby was wondering whether it would jog your memory if we took you to your house. If you feel strong enough, that is." Frances was watching Anna"s face. Anna looked up. Her expression was suddenly more animated than it had been so far. "You know where I live?"
Frances smiled. "Yes, we know that much! But we couldn"t leave you there alone, could we? And we didn"t know who to call about you. You told Toby something of your family circ.u.mstances, but he couldn"t remember any names or addresses." They took a taxi across London later that afternoon, Anna wearing a borrowed pair of trousers and an elegant sweater from Frances"s wardrobe against the cold March wind. All the clothes in her suitcase were light summer fabrics designed to be worn on a cruise. There was nothing there which would protect her from the south- easterly which was whipping through the streets, rattling billboards, scattering litter along the pavements and whining in the TV aerials far above the street.
The taxi pulled up outside a small pretty terraced house in Notting Hill and they all climbed out. Anna stood surveying the warm grey brick, the square Queen-Anne windows with narrow wrought iron windowbox holders, the blue front door with a half-moon skylight and the tiny front garden.
Itseemed familiar, yet somehow strangely unconnected.
"It looks nice," she said with a wry smile. "Are you sure I live here?"
"I"m not sure of anything." Toby put his arm lightly round her shoulders. "See if you"ve got the key."
She glanced at him sharply then she rummaged in her shoulder bag and pulled out a bunch of keys.
The house smelt cold and unlived in and there was a pile of 373.
letters behind the door. Stooping to pick them up Anna walked into the living room on the righthand side of the narrow hallway and looked round. The room was furnished with antiques, the sober polished woods set off with colourful rugs and cushions and scarlet swagged curtains which were half-drawn across the windows looking out onto the garden at the back.
Toby reached for the lightswitch. "Nice house." He grinned. On a table by the small Knole sofa a light on the answerphone blinked steadily announcing five calls.
"Only five and I"ve been away weeks." Anna stared down at it.
"I expect all your friends knew you were away. It"s only recently they"ve realised you should be back," Toby commented sensibly.
"Aren"t you going to listen?" He was standing with his back to the fireplace, his arms folded. "There might be a clue."
Anna shrugged. She reached out and punched the play b.u.t.ton.
"...Anna, dear, this is your great-aunt Phyl!" The voice was loud in the quiet room and indignant. "Where on earth are you? You"d said you"d come and see me the moment you got back. I"m dying to hear how you got on. Ring me."
"...Anna? Your great-aunt seems to think you"re avoiding her. Ring her or me, for G.o.d"s sake!" This was a cross male voice. Her father. She recognised it without a moment"s hesitation.
"...Anna, it"s Felix. I got your postcard. I"m so glad you"re having a good time. Take care." That too was familiar. She began to smile.
"...Anna? Anna, are you there?" Silence, then a suppressed curse. Female. Unknown.
"... Anna? It"s Phyllis again. My dear, I"m worried about you. Do please get in touch."
Toby was watching her face. "You recognised the voices?"
Anna nodded. "And this house. It"s all familiar. But it doesn"t feel like mine." She shook her head and put her hand to her eyes. "I feel like a stranger. But I do recognise it all."
"I"m going to ring your aunt back." Toby reached for the phone and punched in 1471. After a pause she saw him press the 3 to return the call.
The phone rang for a long time before it was answered. "Do you want to speak to her?" Toby held out the receiver. Anna shrugged and took it from him.
"Anna? Anna, thank goodness, my darling! I was beginning to think you"d fallen in love with Egypt or found yourself a handsome 374.
sheikh or something and decided never to come home!" The voice on the other end paused. "Anna?"
Anna shook her head. Tears were pouring down her face. She couldn"t speak. Toby took the receiver from her. "Miss Sh.e.l.ley?" He gave Anna a rea.s.suring smile. "I"m sorry to interrupt. My name is Toby Hayward. I was on the cruise with Anna. She has not been very well. Is there any chance you could come up to London, or could I drive her over to you? She wants to see you so much."
He listened for a few seconds, hastened to respond to the anxious questions, rea.s.sured and nodded. "OK. I"ll bring her to Suffolk tomorrow. I"m so glad we"ve made contact."
He put down the phone. "She wanted you to go today, but I thought you might be too tired. We"ll leave first thing in the morning." He glanced at his mother who had been standing quietly by the door, studying the room. "Do you want to help Anna find some warm clothes while we"re here?"
Anna was idly picking through the post which was lying beside her on the sofa. She reached for a postcard, studied the picture and then read the back. Then another. At least two of her friends, it appeared, had also been on holiday recently. There were several bills which she automatically discarded unopened, much to Toby"s amus.e.m.e.nt as he pointed out that her good sense had not deserted her along with her memory.
"It"s only my memory of the holiday that"s completely gone," she said wearily. "The rest seems to be here, intact. I recognised my father"s voice, and Felix, my ex. I recognised Phyllis." She shook her head. "I couldn"t recall them spontaneously: it"s all been a strange blank when you and the doctor have asked me about things; but when I heard their voices and looked for them in my head they were there!" She broke off. She was looking down at a letter in her hand. It had Egyptian stamps. Her face grew pale.
Toby glanced at Frances. He put his finger to his lips. They both watched Anna as slowly she tore open the envelope. "It"s from Omar," she said slowly. "He wants to know how I am?"
She looked up and her eyes widened. The floodgates had opened. A torrent of memory, of noise, of images, of shouting, suddenly poured into her head. She sat down abruptly and stared wildly up at them.
"Oh G.o.d! Andy! I remember now. Andy died!"
375.
Toby sat down beside her, and put his arm round her shoulders. "Do you remember what else happened?" he asked gently.
She was staring down at the letter in her hands. "The scent bottle. The scent bottle of the priest of Sekhmet!" Suddenly she began to sob, tears pouring down her face. She looked up at Toby. "I remember Andy falling in the Nile. We"d been to Philae."
Toby nodded.
"Then his body disappeared. There was no sign of it -"
"They found him the next day, Anna -, "And Ibrahim gave me an amulet." She put her hand to her throat as though she had only at that moment become aware of the charm hanging on the chain round her neck. "I"m still wearing it! But it"s valuable, I should have returned it to him!" "No, he wanted you to keep it. He especially told me to tell you to keep it for ever, Anna." Toby took Omar"s letter out of her hands and put it down on the table. "What happened to Andy?" She turned to him, her eyes blind with tears.
"His body was flown back to London and buried in his family"s home village in Suss.e.x. Serena and Charley and Ben all went to the funeral."
"And Charley?" Anna echoed the name. "Is she all right now?"
Toby nodded. "She"s fine."
"So it"s just me." She looked down at her hands. "It wasn"t shock, you know." Suddenly it was all crystal clear in her mind. "He needed me. The priest needed me when Charley left Egypt and I let him in. Serena summoned him at Philae and I watched and smiled and was all eager to see what happened and he jumped inside my head!
Serena knew how dangerous he was. Ibrahim knew. But I ji"st opened myself up and let it happen! Where is Serena? What has happened to her?"
"Serena has been to see you several times, Anna," Toby said. "She"s been so worried about you. She tried to explain to the doctor that she thought you had been possessed, but he was not prepared to listen. He patronised her horribly. If I hadn"t seen it myself I wouldn"t have believed how he behaved to her. I wouldn"t have been surprised if she hadn"t come back, but she did and she brought someone else to try and help you, but by then you didn"t want anyone else poking around in your head and we decided it was better to wait until your memory came back by itself.
Ma wanted 376.
to bring in a clergyman but Serena said that would make the priest angry.
Anna shuddered. "I"ve been so much trouble to you?" She looked up miserably. "And it"s all my fault."
"It wasn"t your fault." Frances came and knelt in front of her. "None of it was. How could anyone have known that these terrible things would happen?" She shivered. "Come on. Let me help you pack some warm clothes. Then we"ll go home. Tomorrow you will be with your great-aunt and things will start to get back to normal for you.
"Nothing can ever be normal again." Anna shook her head. "I killed Andy. With the help of the stupid little bottle."
"No," Toby was adamant. "What killed Andy was a large bottle - of vodka - on an empty stomach! Never, never blame yourself, Anna.It occurred to her for the first time that evening to wonder where it was that Toby went after the three of them had eaten together at the small round table in Frances"s lower-ground-floor kitchen. She asked Frances only after he had kissed them both on the cheek and run up the area steps, jingling his car keys, to disappear into the frosty London night.
Frances laughed. "Didn"t he tell you? He"s staying with someone called Ben Forbes. I gather he met him on this infamous cruise of yours." She hesitated. "Toby lives in Scotland, Anna. You knew that, didn"t you? After his wife died he didn"t want to stay in London any more and he gave me this house. Normally he stays upstairs in your bedroom when he"s in town, but he felt very strongly that he didn"t want to crowd you."
"He"s been very kind to me," Anna said thoughtfully. "I don"t know what would have happened to me if he hadn"t been there." She glanced up. "And I would never have met you."
Frances smiled. "I was so pleased he brought you here." She was busying herself making them both a night cap. "I expect you have gathered I am a widow. And Toby is an only. I"m just so pleased he and I are friends. I gather he told you about that dreadful time ten years ago?" She glanced up and when Anna nodded she went on. "He became very defensive after Sarah died; he cut so many people out of his life."
377.
It was the moment to ask questions. To find out more about what had happened. Anna hesitated and the moment pa.s.sed. "Will you come with us tomorrow, to Suffolk?" she asked instead.
Frances shook her head. "No, my dear. I would love to meet your great-aunt one day, but not this time." She hesitated. "Toby said you are divorced?"
Anna nodded.
"That must have been sad for you."
"Not really. A shock at first, to find things weren"t as I thought. Then, in the end, a relief. That was Felix, my husband, on the phone at the house. We still speak." "And you sent him a postcard."
Anna nodded again. She accepted a mug of hot chocolate from Frances and sipped it slowly. "Did Toby tell you the whole story of the trip?"
Frances shook her head. "I"m pretty sure not. To be honest in the cold light of a London winter it all sounded a bit farfetched. No!" She reached out her hand towards Anna as the latter opened her mouth to protest. "I"m not saying it didn"t happen. Clearly something awful did happen. I"m just saying I found it hard to picture it all. Andy"s death was sufficiently dreadful for me. Perhaps that"s all I can cope with at this stage."
Anna nodded slowly. Her fingers groped inside the neck of her blouse and closed round Ibrahim"s amulet. "I would like to go and see his grave," she said. "Take him some flowers. Tell him I"m sorry."
Frances glanced at her. She hesitated, obviously trying to decide how to respond. "Anna, my dear, you weren"t in love with Andy, were you?"