"I started writing. Songs mostly. Well, it"s poetry really, but Tucker has sung one at his concert." I was rambling. I didn"t understand this sudden nervousness and need for his approval.
He nodded but didn"t say anything. I was surprised when it stung to have this man, a stranger by all accounts, not acknowledge what I felt was a big achievement.
"I should get some sleep." I pushed to my feet and dusted the dirt from the back of my legs.
"See you in the morning."
"Good night."
That night I dreamed that I was back on the bus. I missed snuggling up next to Tucker. It didn"t matter what state we were in or where we were headed, I was always home in his arms and I missed that. I wasn"t sure what I thought I would find down in Louisiana, but this wasn"t it. I had hoped that my father"s life had turned around and he was happy, but the house was in shambles and they seemed to worry constantly about where their next dollar would come from. Instead of feeling like I"d found my way home, I felt like a guest, a stranger in this foreign city, this unfamiliar house. And worse, I felt sad for my father. I felt pity for him and wished there was something I could do to help him and June in the wake of the tragedy they"d suffered.
The next morning I woke to Ryley pushing his finger against my eye. I rolled over and tickled his stomach, causing him to giggle and run away.
"You leave her alone, young man." June was in the kitchen cooking something on the stove. It smelled like sausage, and my stomach growled. "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Eggs and boudin."
"Sounds . . . good." I didn"t know what it was, but it smelled incredible.
"Keep it down, June," my father yelled from his bedroom, startling me. June made a face at me, and I laughed quietly to myself. I walked into the kitchen to see if she needed any help.
"Anything I can do?"
"You can grab the plates." With her spatula, she pointed to the cabinet next to the fridge. I set the table, not sure if my father would be joining us for breakfast or not. I figured it was better safe than sorry, so I set the table for four.
He eventually rolled out of bed as June finished up. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as he stole a piece of sausage, and she smacked him on the hand.
We didn"t talk about my mother and what had happened after he left. I realized it was more important to me to get a fresh start, not rehash the past. I wanted to spend some time with them just getting to know them better. We would have plenty of opportunities down the road to revisit the heavy baggage of our past.
I RAN INTO TUCKER"S arms, and he lifted me from the ground, spinning us.
"I have missed you so much," he said as he sat me back on the ground and placed a hand on either side of my face. "How was your trip?"
"It was good. A little strange . . . but I"m glad I went."
"Come on. We have a long ride ahead of us, and I can"t be late for the shoot."
"You started shooting the music video? I thought that wasn"t until next week."
"Change of plans."
"I could have taken a cab, Tucker. You didn"t need to pick me up from the airport."
"I wanted to see you as soon as possible." He kissed me on the forehead, and I breathed in his scent of coconut.
We made our way out to his bike, and I slid on the back, wrapping my arms around his waist. I could ride with him all day long. I loved being so close to him and feeling like we were in our own little world.
After a few hours we pulled into the studio parking lot. My legs felt like jelly as I slid off the bike and stretched. Tucker did the same, looking pained from the round-trip he had made.
"You really didn"t need to come get me."
"I really did." He smiled and placed a kiss on my forehead. He looped his fingers in mine as we began to walk to the giant gla.s.s doors.
"I"m surprised Donna let you leave."
"She doesn"t control me, Ca.s.s." The anger in his voice made my heart rate accelerate. I hadn"t meant to insult him.
"That"s not what I meant. I"m sorry."
He nodded and pulled open the door, waiting for me to walk through. I released his hand and stepped inside as he placed his hand on the small of my back and followed me.
The lobby was large but rustic. Everything was concrete, and brown swirling paintings hung all around the receptionist"s desk. It felt very masculine and cavelike, but done in an upscale manor.
"Welcome back, Mr. White."
Tucker smiled at the woman sitting behind the counter who had a severe black bob. Her lips quirked into a smile as she picked up a phone and spoke quietly into the receiver.
We walked to the back of the room where there was a large set of medieval double doors made of a deep gray metal, lined in rivets. Tucker pulled it open, once again waiting for me to step inside before he followed. We followed the hall to the third door on the left with a bright red light over the door, signaling someone was working inside.
I was shocked as he pulled the door open. The room was ma.s.sive with a giant green screen plastered across the back wall and a motorcycle, much like Tucker"s, in front of it. To the right was another screen and all of the band"s equipment. Eric was playing the drums as a man guided him on which direction to look. To the left was an elegant room that looked like the bedroom out of a mansion, complete with white silk sheets and a pile of pillows. That threw me for a loop, and I stopped walking, causing Tucker to run into my back. He gripped my hips and guided me forward as Donna"s eyes found us. She narrowed them, and I swallowed back the anger I instantaneously felt when she was around. I had a long couple of days trying to get reacquainted with my father, and I was in no mood to put up with Donna"s s.h.i.t. She stalked toward us, folding her arms across her chest.
"I expected you an hour ago." Her eyes were glued on Tucker.
"My flight ran late," I chimed in. Her gaze flicked to me and back to Tucker.
"We are almost ready for you. Makeup is waiting." She walked away with a loud huff.
"Makeup?" I laughed and spun around to face Tucker. He grinned and shook his head.
"I didn"t like the idea either." He laughed and pulled me in to kiss him. I pressed my lips against his, letting my eyes flutter closed.
"Save the pa.s.sion for the video, Tucker," a man"s voice called from behind us, and I pulled back, immediately embarra.s.sed by our public display of affection, but Tucker kept his grip around my waist. Tucker laughed and pulled me against his chest for a hug.
"You sure you want to be here for this?"
I furrowed my brow, searching his eyes.
"I wouldn"t miss it for the world." I gave him a smile, but there was a look of concern in his eyes. "Go get ready before the wicked witch casts a spell on me."
He laughed, shaking his head as he made his way to a back corner of the room toward a door that read DRESSING ROOM. I crossed my arms over my stomach as I wandered toward Terry and Chris who were hanging out against the far right wall. They smiled and greeted me when they noticed me, and I felt more at ease in the strange place.
"How"s it going?" I asked as I watched a pet.i.te blonde blot Terry"s cheek with makeup.
"They"re making us b.i.t.c.hes, Ca.s.s," Chris whined, and I snorted as the woman gave him a glare.
Two women walked toward us, and I realized they were twins as well. They wore only white bikinis and had tattoos covering their bodies. My eyes danced over the artwork on their skin, in awe at how beautiful they were.
"It"s not real," one said with a heavy accent that I couldn"t place.
"You"re kidding?" I stepped closer to inspect the fake tattoos. "That"s incredible."
"Thank you," the woman who was still correcting the other twin"s makeup called over her shoulder to me.
"Girls," called out the man who had spoken to Tucker earlier. I a.s.sumed he was a director or producer or something to that effect, but I didn"t want to ask and look stupid. The female twins scurried past me in their towering high heels and made their way to the bed. My stomach tied in knots as I looked back at Chris and Terry.
"It"s for our scene," Terry spoke up, alleviating my fears. I sighed and smiled back at him, grateful he put my mind at ease. I glanced back over my shoulder at the man as he had the women sprawl out over the bed, positioning them like human Barbie dolls until he had them at the angle he preferred.
He yelled for Chris and Terry who had large smiles on their faces as they hurried to join the women. I backed against the wall and watched as they climbed into the bed, happier than I had ever seen them. I rolled my eyes and the makeup artist smiled as she watched me.
"First time?" she asked, and I wasn"t sure what she meant, but her question sent a blush spreading over my skin like wildfire. "Music video, I mean."
"Yeah." I nodded as I watched the twins begin to make out with their female counterparts as the camera moved closer to them.
"It"s not that bad. All make-believe. They look like they are enjoying themselves now, but I guarantee you that when the day is over, they will be exhausted and miserable." I raised my eyebrows as I watched their hands roam all over the women.
"Somehow I doubt that."
She laughed and patted me on the shoulder before disappearing behind the door that Tucker had gone in earlier. My eyes shifted to Eric as he continued to take direction and figure out the best way to shoot his part of the video.
A few minutes pa.s.sed and four women came out of the makeup area, giggling.
"He is such a good kisser." One of them laughed as the other scoffed.
"Please, his hands were all over my body."
I stiffened, wondering who they were referring to. Eric glanced up and shot them a wink, causing them to erupt in a fit of giggles. I sighed and relaxed back into the wall. I don"t know what had gotten into me, but the entire situation was beginning to overwhelm me. I knew Tucker was a rock star and this was what he wanted out of life, but I didn"t know how much of the lifestyle he intended to partake in.
After nearly twenty minutes of watching Eric flirt with the girls and the twins rolling around in bed with the other twins, I was beginning to fall asleep. I sank down against the wall and yawned as I watched them shoot scene after scene of what looked like the same thing.
"Tucker," a girl squealed, and I turned to see Tucker come out of the back room. He was wearing a plain white cotton tee and dark-wash jeans. He looked like he always did, and I wondered what they could have been doing to him for so long. The girl was in front of him, partially obstructing my view, but he glanced around her and winked at me, causing my heart to melt in my chest.
I stood, stretching, still sore from the long ride on the back of Tucker"s bike. The director called Tucker over to him and began giving him direction. I wanted to walk over, but Donna beat me to it, and I knew, as much as I hated it, this was part of her job and I had no place in it.
Eric made his way to me with a huge grin on his face.
"Twenty bucks says I can f.u.c.k at least two of them before the day is over."
I cringed at his crude comment, but it secretly made me happy for him that he was moving past his crush on Sarah.
"Shouldn"t be too hard." I looked around him at the girls as they stared at his back adoringly.
"Not hard at all." He spun around and smiled at them.
"That"s what she said."
Eric doubled over laughing, causing everyone to turn in our direction.
"She would never say that. Seriously, you suck at this." His face was red as tears filled his eyes from laughing so hard. It was great to see him so carefree. It was a rare occasion, and I knew it was a big deal. Eric pulled me in for a hug, and I tensed, not used to him being affectionate with me or anyone, for that matter. I hugged him back as I glanced over at Tucker, his jaw clenched and his brow furrowed as he watched us. I pulled back, not sure if he was upset.
I smiled at Eric as he shook his head and made his way back to the scantily clad women. His arms were stretched out to his sides.
"Who wants to find out how hard a drummer can bang?"
The girls giggled, and I shook my head, laughing and glancing back to Tucker, but he wasn"t there. I scanned the area and found him mounting the motorcycle. A brunette got on behind him, wrapping her long tanned limbs around his body. My heart rate went into overdrive as I watched her lean in and whisper something in his ear, causing him to laugh as his hand went to hers around his waist. My heart was thudding so loudly in my ears I didn"t hear Donna"s voice until she repeated herself.
"He looks good out there."
I didn"t respond, keeping my eyes locked on my boyfriend.
"You should take a walk, maybe pick up some lunch." Her voice wasn"t threatening and didn"t have its usual edge to it.
"I"m not hungry," I replied as I wrapped my arms around myself. Tucker spoke to the director as the model"s hands continued to roam over him. She looked in my direction as she said something to him, and he glanced our way, nodding and laughing again at something she said. Jealousy coiled in my belly, winding me tighter, and I wanted to explode. This is his job, I reminded myself. But you"re the one he chose to have on the back of his bike.
"Suit yourself." Donna walked back over to Tucker and said a few things, everyone"s attention on her. Tucker made a face, and I couldn"t tell if he was frustrated or angry. He looked my way as they continued to speak quietly. Donna glanced over her shoulder, smiling. What I wouldn"t give to wipe that smirk off her face.
The model climbed off the back of his bike, and my heart began to beat normally again until she walked toward me. I held my breath as she approached, but she continued by and disappeared into the dressing room.
I wiped my damp palms on my jeans and tried to relax. The twins made their way across the room, and I wanted to carry on a conversation with them to put myself at ease, but they barely noticed me as they flirted with the other set of twins. I felt completely out of place, wishing I had a pen and paper so I could process some of the feelings that were brewing inside of me. I closed my eyes and began to count down from ten.
"You all right?" Eric asked, and I opened my eyes to see him beside me, his hands shoved in his jean pockets.
"Yeah." I faked a smile, and he c.o.c.ked his head.
"You expect me to believe that?" He leaned back against the wall beside me. I wanted to open up to him like he had with me, but I was concerned with the way Tucker had looked at me when we"d hugged. Suddenly I felt like I needed to close myself off to him.
"I"m fine." I shrugged as I stared off across the room.
"How did things go with your dad? That must have been crazy." He shook his head.
The girl who had been on the back of the bike moments before walked back by us wearing nothing but a crisp white sheet around her body. I couldn"t breathe as I stood up straighter trying to see through the bodies that milled around Tucker. She slipped between them, and I stood up on my toes to figure out what was happening.
"Crazy," I repeated quietly.
"Tuck and I have our problems, but you know he loves you, right?"
That caught me off guard enough to cause me to look at him, momentarily forgetting my worry.
"I know that." I wasn"t sure why he had said it, and suddenly it terrified me.
"I don"t know why he insisted on you being here for this. It"s only going to torture you." Eric shook his head as he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.
"You don"t want me here?" I could handle Donna not wanting me around, but I thought Eric and I had become friends.
He shook his head and took a deep breath.
"You really want to watch some chick putting her hands all over the guy you love? He knows it"s going to hurt you."
"He didn"t look very happy about it," I mumbled as I tried to see what was happening, but the extras and set helpers were still blocking my view.
Eric chuckled as he ran his hand over his jaw.