"Another?" I knew in the back of my mind that I didn"t need to prove myself to Eric or anyone else, but suddenly I just wanted to fit in, show everyone that I was more than just another groupie.
"h.e.l.l, yeah!" Chris poured us all another round. This time when I gulped it down, I kept my poker face on and tried my d.a.m.nedest not to cry out at the burning pain in my throat.
"Better." Eric gave me an approving look, and Tucker squeezed me closer to his side.
"You okay?" he whispered quietly in my ear, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I wondered if my body would ever stop reacting to Tucker that way. I nodded and sat down my gla.s.s, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.
"I gotta hit the head. Someone set up the next round," Chris called behind him as he made his way through the crowd toward the bathroom.
I took over filling the gla.s.ses, slopping booze everywhere. I heard a few guys behind us greeting the band and turned, finding myself face-to-face with Filth. The five-member band was dressed head to toe in black, their eyes coated in eyeliner. I never would have thought makeup looked good on a man, but it suited them. In the center of the group stood a stunning brunette.
The men shook hands, pulling in to b.u.mp shoulders.
"Ca.s.s, this is Filth. That"s Sarah. . . ." I recognized her as the lead singer, and she inclined her head toward me, her dyed dark hair falling in her face. "That"s Poppa, Diggy, Derek, and Matt." He pointed to the other members.
"Nice to meet you. You want a drink?"
"f.u.c.k, yeah!" Derek held out his plastic Solo cup, and the other members followed suit. I filled everyone"s gla.s.ses, finishing off the bottle of bourbon we had been using. Sarah didn"t say a word, but I could feel her eyes on me, judging me. I couldn"t help but cower a bit under her gaze as I recalled her powerful presence onstage, the way she commanded the attention of everyone in that stadium with her raw, magnetic confidence. She was intimidating to say the least.
"Cheers," Derek yelled over the noise of the crowd, pushing his chin-length jet-black hair from his face. We all lifted our gla.s.ses before drinking them down. This time it went more smoothly, and my body didn"t try to reject the harsh drink. Probably not a good sign.
"Where"s Chris?" Diggy asked as he handed me his cup for a refill. We all looked at one another for a moment before Terry"s eyes widened and he took off, pushing his way through the crowd.
"Oh, s.h.i.t!" Tucker was on his heels, pulling me behind him.
"What"s going on?" I asked as Eric pushed past us, yanking his shirt over his head and trying to catch up to Terry.
"Nothing good." Tucker sighed as we made our way down the narrow hallways. Eric"s broad shoulders grew smaller as he began to jog away from us, yelling out to Terry who wasn"t responding.
We made our way outside in time to see Terry making his way up the steps of the bus.
"Wait outside," Tucker warned and released my hand as he jogged after the others. I could hear Lizzy scream and then one of the twins was shoved out of the doorway, followed by the other. I put my hands over my mouth as I walked closer. Terry was screaming, nose to nose with Chris who was only wearing a pair of jeans, slung low on his hips like the zipper was undone. The rest of the band tried to work their way between them. As I reached the group, Lizzy stepped into the doorway of the bus, wrapped in a blanket, her hair a wild curly mess as tears streamed down her face.
"You f.u.c.ked my girl?" Terry sounded more hurt than shocked at his brother"s actions.
"She"s n.o.body"s girl." His hand gestured to Lizzy. "She"s just a groupie!" he yelled, and I saw Lizzy flinch.
"I didn"t know. I swear I didn"t know!" she cried out between drunken, heaving sobs. "I thought it was you!"
Terry c.o.c.ked back and swung at his brother, his fist connecting with Chris"s temple and sending his body spinning backward until he met the pavement. The other members scrambled to pull Terry back before he could punch his brother again.
Lizzy raced to his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.
Chris rubbed the side of his head, groaning in pain.
"She knew, man. She knew it was me. She isn"t any good for you," Chris said angrily, causing Terry to lurch forward again like he was going to finish what he started.
"Don"t you f.u.c.king talk about her. Don"t f.u.c.king look at her." Terry looked like a madman as Eric and Tucker struggled to hold him back. "How could you f.u.c.king do this?"
"She isn"t any good for you," Chris repeated.
I felt helpless watching the band being ripped apart. I felt sorry for Terry. He genuinely cared for Lizzy, and I knew d.a.m.n well she knew what she was doing . . . who she was doing. What if she went after the other guys? What if she tried to sleep with Tucker? I balled my hands into fists and stalked toward the twins, standing between them.
"He"s telling the truth." I glanced over my shoulder at Chris on the ground. I had everyone"s complete attention now. I swallowed hard and steadied myself. The alcohol was. .h.i.tting me full force. "She knows how to tell you guys apart."
"That"s not true." Lizzy laughed almost crazily as she shook her head.
"It is. She told me earlier about the freckle . . . the ring that Chris wears." I looked Terry dead in the eye as Tucker and Eric took a step back.
His eyes flicked from me to Lizzy. He pulled her from his body, and she stood, clasping the blanket to her chest.
"You"re not gonna believe her are you, baby?" Lizzy"s voice took on a sickeningly sweet tone as she placed a hand on his chest. He looped his fingers around her wrist and pushed her hand away.
"Yeah, I am. Get your s.h.i.t, and get the f.u.c.k out." He turned to walk away, off into the darkness.
Tucker stepped forward, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me on the top of the head. Chris pushed himself up off the ground and brushed his clothes off.
"Thanks, Ca.s.s," he said as he walked off in the opposite direction of his brother.
"Now this is a f.u.c.king party!" Eric yelled drunkenly. That was probably the happiest I had seen him all night. I shook my head against Tucker"s chest. He laughed quietly.
"This is going to be an interesting tour."
"Is it always like this?" I asked, gripping his T-shirt in my fingers.
"Sort of." He laughed again, and I pulled back to look at his face. His stormy blue eyes.
"I should have kept my mouth shut." I sighed, glancing over at Eric who was still shirtless and smiling. His eyes danced between Tucker and me. "Are you guys gonna f.u.c.k or . . . do you want to go get another drink?"
Tucker looked at me and raised his eyebrow.
"Not a chance." I rolled my eyes and took his hand to lead him back into the building. Eric trailed behind us.
We made our way through the crowd that parted for us to pa.s.s, stopping once or twice for Tucker to sign autographs.
We settled in next to the refreshment table, the mood considerably lightened. I made my way to the keg to get us each a drink as Tucker and Eric chatted about songs and the next stop on the tour. Apparently, we were headed to Tennessee for a concert tomorrow. I handed the guys their cups as Eric gave his drink a funny look before his eyes landed on me.
"That"s way too much head."
"That"s what she said!" I yelled as Tucker spit out his beer in laughter.
"No, she didn"t say that. She would never say that." Eric shook his head and smiled before gulping down his drink. I shrugged, feeling weightless and carefree.
"f.u.c.k," E yelled, dropping his cup and crushing his hands to the sides of his head while his face scrunched up in pain.
"What"s wrong?" He looked like he was dying.
"You all right, man? You need me to walk you back?" Tucker put his hand on Eric"s shoulder, but he shrugged it off.
"I"m fine," Eric said angrily through gritted teeth and pushed back through the crowd toward the exit.
"What"s wrong with him?" I turned to Tucker who looked exhausted.
"Old injury from when he was younger. He gets a lot of bad headaches."
"So why does he seem to take it out on you?" It was painfully obvious there was tension between Tucker and Eric; I just couldn"t understand why.
Tucker shrugged and finished off his drink, crushing the plastic cup in his hand and staring off into the crowd.
"I"m tired." He grabbed my hand in his.
"Yeah, okay." I brushed my thumb over the back of his hand as we left the party and headed back toward the tour bus.
The bus was quiet. Only Eric was inside. The twins still hadn"t made it back from their cooling off period, and thankfully, Lizzy was long gone as well. Which reminded me of someone else who was missing.
"Where"s Dorris?" I asked as I followed Tucker back through the narrow bus.
"She got a room in town. She tries to sleep off the bus as much as possible." He smiled. It still seemed weird that she hadn"t come to the show. "That"s her bed back there." He motioned to the door in the back of the bus. "This is us." He pointed to the bunk directly across from Eric"s but on the bottom. I reached out and pulled back the curtain to reveal a very small, coffin-like bed.
I stood and turned back to him in disbelief.
"How are we both going to fit in there?"
He pressed his body tight against me, his lips hovering over mine. My pulse began to race as his hands traveled down my sides to my hips, holding me firmly against him.
"We will find a way." He smirked.
I wanted to melt into him, to wrap my legs around his waist and feel the weight of him on top of me, but it still just didn"t feel right, not after all that had happened. "You know I am not ready." I pushed against his chest to give myself some room to breathe.
"Thank-f.u.c.king-G.o.d. I do not want to hear Tuck moaning and panting," Eric called from his bunk.
"Hey, Eric. You need something for your headache?" I asked, changing the subject in hopes of easing a little of the tension between the guys.
Eric shoved back the curtain to his bunk and squinted his eyes at the light.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks. My pills are in the cupboard above the sink." He gave a half grin.
I found his prescription bottle from the cupboard and grabbed a fresh water from the fridge.
"You sure that it"s safe to take with the alcohol you drank?"
"I"ll be fine." Eric took the bottle and pulled his curtain closed. Tucker shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile.
"You ready?" Tucker inclined his head toward the bed. I nodded. Today had been amazing, and I was excited to see what tomorrow would bring.
I climbed into the cramped s.p.a.ce, sliding over until I was against the wall. Tucker followed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me tight against him. It felt good to be by his side and able to snuggle up to someone without fear. I blinked a few times until my eyes began to adjust to the light. There were concert photos and articles taped up overhead. I tried to read them, but my eyelids were far too heavy, and the alcohol made it impossible to see clearly. I slipped into a dreamless sleep.
I AWOKE LONG BEFORE Tucker. He looked so peaceful, and I knew he wasn"t going to be feeling well after a long night of drinking. I slid my body over his so I could use the bathroom before any of the boys claimed it. Tucker"s eyes stayed closed, but his hands shot up, gripping my hips and pinning my body to his. His hips grinded into mine and he smirked. I playfully smacked him on the chest.
"I was trying not to wake you," I whispered, my lips hovering above his. His eyes slowly opened, his face serious.
"Sleep is overrated. Reality is so much better, sweetheart."
I couldn"t help the grin that spread across my face as a blush followed like wildfire across my skin.
"Pretty in pink," he joked as he released my hip with one hand and ran his fingers over my cheek. I leaned into his touch as he set every nerve ending in my body off like fireworks.
"I"m already hungover. You guys trying to make me f.u.c.king vomit?" Eric called out from the other set of bunks. I laughed and let my head fall onto Tucker"s chest.
"Is he always like this?" I whispered, tracing the ridge of Tucker"s pec muscle.
"A d.i.c.k? Yeah, pretty much." He sighed.
"I"m gonna use the restroom." I pushed away from Tucker"s body a few inches, the only s.p.a.ce the cramped area would allow. I gave him a quick peck on the lips before sliding over him and into the narrow hallway.
To my surprise, the twins were sitting at the small booth-style table near the front of the bus.
"Good morning," I called out to them as I slipped into the bathroom. I turned on the sink and cupped my hands, gathering some water to splash on my face. I rose to examine myself in the mirror. I looked like I had been hit by a truck, and my stomach didn"t feel much better. I finished preparing myself for the morning and made my way to the kitchen area of the bus.
"You guys hungry?" I asked as I squatted down in front of the fridge and examined the contents. The twins groaned in unison, obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol and fighting.
"There"s nothing in there." Tucker came up behind me, running his hand over my knotted hair.
"More in here than my fridge at the trailer," I joked, but it was true. I glanced over my shoulder at him and his expression saddened.
"How about we go out for breakfast and we can pick up a few things from the store so we can cook on the bus?" Tucker said as I stood and stretched my legs.
"Sounds good." I glanced around the bus. "My bag?"
Tucker pointed to Dorris"s room.
"More room to change in there."
I rocked up onto the b.a.l.l.s of my feet and gave him a kiss. I loved how thoughtful he was. He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.
"Love you." I kissed him again and made my way down the hall, sidestepping around Eric who had just slid out of his bunk wearing only his boxers. He grinned as I nearly tripped over my own feet, doing my best to avoid any physical contact. Living on a bus with these guys was going to be harder than I thought. I slipped into Dorris"s room and found my bag sitting on her bed. I pulled out my favorite pair of jeans and a navy blue tank top. I scanned the room as I yanked off my dress and fumbled with the clasp of my bra.
There were pictures of the band hung on the walls. I walked closer to get a better look as I pulled on my shirt. They all looked happy and were smiling, except for Eric, who wore a scowl in every shot. I wondered how someone who seemed to have it all could be so angry at the world. I could sense that he was using sarcasm to deflect from something bigger that was bothering him, a tactic I had more experience with than I wanted to admit. I"d spent my life dealing with people like him. People who used drugs and alcohol to mask the pain, but all it seemed to do was amplify it.
There was a lot of tension between him and Tucker, and I hoped that my presence wasn"t part of the reason. I made up my mind that I would find a way to talk to him, to let him know that I had no intentions of causing trouble with the band. I slipped my leg into my jeans, falling back onto the bed as I pulled them the rest of the way on.
There was a knock at the door as I pulled up my zipper and fastened the b.u.t.ton.
"Yeah?" I called out as I dug through my bag for a hairbrush.
"You decent?" a deep male voice called from the other side.
"Yup," I called back. The door opened and Chris stepped inside, pulling it closed behind him. I furrowed my brow as I wondered what he could possibly want to talk about in private.