But she shook her head. How frightfully natural and brotherly this boy was, she thought. Was her last desperate card to be as useless as all the rest of the pack? How could it be! They might as well be on a desert island out there on the water and she the only woman on it.
"Feel a bit chilly? You"d better put on this sweater."
She took it from him but laid it aside. "No. The air"s too warm," she said. "Oh, ho, I"m so sleepy," and she stretched herself out again with her hands under her head.
"I"m not," said Martin. "I"m tremendously awake. Let"s talk if you"re not in a hurry to get back."
"I"m very happy here," she answered. "But must we have that lamp? It glares and makes the cabin hot."
"The moon"s better than all the lamps," said Martin, and put it out. He sat on his bunk and the gleam of his cigarette came and went. It was like a big firefly in the half dark cabin. "To-morrow," he said to himself, with a tingle running through his blood, "to-morrow--and Joan."
Tootles waited for him to speak. She might as well have been miles away for all that she affected him. He seemed to have forgotten that she was alive.
He had. And there was a long silence.
"To-morrow,--and Joan. That"s it. I"ll go over to Easthampton and take her away from that house and talk to her. This time I"ll break everything down and tell her what she means to me. I"ve never told her that."
"He doesn"t care," thought Tootles. "I"m no more than an old shoe to him."
"If I"d told her it might have made a difference. Even if she had laughed at me she would have had something to catch hold of if she wanted it. By Jove, I wish I"d had the pluck to tell her."
"He even looks at me and doesn"t see me," she went on thinking, her hopes withering like cut flowers, her eagerness petering out and a great humiliation creeping over her. "What"s the matter with me? Some people think I"m pretty. Irene does ... and last night, when I kissed him there was an answer.... Has that girl come between us again?"
And so they went on, these two, divided by a thousand miles, each absorbed in individual thought, and there was a long queer silence.
But she was there to fight, and having learned one side of men during her sordid pilgrimage and having an ally in Nature, she got up and sat down on the bunk at his side, snuggling close.
"You are cold, Tootles," he said, and put his arm round her.
And hope revived, like a dying fire licked by a sudden breeze, and she put her bobbed head on his broad shoulder.
But he was away again, miles and miles away, thinking back, unfolding all the moments of his first companionship with Joan and looking at them wistfully to try and find some tenderness; thinking forward, with the picture of Joan"s face before him and wondering what would come into her eyes when he laid his heart bare for her gaze.
Waiting and waiting, on the steady rise and fall of his chest,--poor little starved Tootles, poor little devil,--tears began to gather, tears as hot as blood, and at last they broke and burst in an awful torrent, and she flung herself face down upon the other bunk, crying incoherently to G.o.d to let her die.
And once more the boy"s spirit, wandering high in pure air, fell like the stick of a rocket, and he sprang up and bent over the pitiful little form,--not understanding because Joan held his heart and kept it clean.
"Tootles," he cried out. "Dear old Tootles. What is it? What"s happened?"
But there was only brotherliness in his kind touch, only the same solicitude that he had shown her all along. Nothing else. Not a thing.
And she knew it, at last, definitely. This boy was too different, too much the other girl"s--curse her for having all the luck.
For an instant, for one final desperate instant, she was urged to try again, to fling aside control and restraint and with her trembling body pressed close and her eager arms clasped about his neck, pour out her love and make a pa.s.sionate stammering plea for something,--just something to put into her memory, her empty loveless memory,--but suddenly, like the gleam of a lamp in a tunnel, her pride lit up, the little streak of pride which had taken her unprofaned through all her sordid life, and she sat up, choked back her sobs, and dried her face with the skirt of her bathing dress.
"Don"t mind me," she said. "It"s the night or something. It got on my nerves, I suppose, like--like the throb of an organ. I dunno. I"m all right now, anyway." And she stood in front of him bravely, with her chin up, but her heart breaking, and her attempt to make a laugh must surely have been entered in the book of human courage.
But before Martin could say anything, she slipped into the c.o.c.kpit, balanced herself on the ledge of the cabin house, said "Good night, old dear," and waved her hand, dived into the silver water and swam strongly towards the beach.
XIII
It began to dawn upon Hosack that Joan had slipped away with Harry Oldershaw from the fact that Palgrave first became restless and irritable, then had a short sharp spat with Barclay about the length of the line on the Western front that was held by the British and finally got up and went into the house and almost immediately prowled out alone for a sulky walk along the beach.
Chortling as he watched him, although annoyed that he, himself, was not going to have an opportunity of saying soft things to Joan for some hours, Hosack made himself comfortable, lit another cigar and pondered sleepily about what he called "the infatuation of Gilbert the precious."
"I can sympathize with the feller"s being gone on the girl," he said to himself, undisturbed by Regina"s frequent bursts of loud laughter at young Barclay"s quiet but persistent banter, "but dammit, why make a conspicuous a.s.s of himself? Why make the whole blessed house party, including his hostess, pay for his being turned down in favor of young Harry? Bad form, I call it. Any one would imagine that he was engaged to be married to Joan and therefore had some right to a monopoly by the way he goes on, snarling at everybody and showing the whites of his eyes like a jealous collie. Everybody"s talking, of course, and making jokes about him, especially as it"s perfectly obvious that the harder he hunts her the more she dodges him.... Curious chap, Gilbert. He goes through life like the ewe lamb of an over-indulgent mother and when he takes a fancy to a thing he can"t conceive why everybody doesn"t rush to give it him, whatever the cost or sacrifice.... If young Harry hadn"t been here to keep her amused and on the move I wonder if Joan would have been a bit kinder to our friend G. P.? She"s been in a weird mood, as perverse as April. I don"t mind her treating me as if I was a doddering old gentleman so long as she keeps Gilbert off.... A charming, pretty, heart-turning thing. I"d give something to know the real reason why that husband of hers lets her run loose this way. And where"s her mother, and why don"t those old people step in?--such a child as she is. Well, it"s a pretty striking commentary on the way our young people are brought up, there"s no doubt about it. If she was my daughter, now--but I suppose she"d tell me to go and hang myself if I tried to b.u.t.t in. Divorce and a general mess-up-the usual end, I take it."
He shook his head, and his ash dropped all over his clothes and he began to nod. He would have given a great deal to put his feet on a chair and a handkerchief over his face and sink into a blissful nap.
The young people had gone off somewhere, and there were only his wife, the Major, and the bride on the veranda. And, after all, why shouldn"t he? Cornucopia could always be relied upon to play up--her conversational well was inexhaustible, and as for Mrs.
Thatcher--nothing natural ever stopped the incessant wagging of her tongue.
But it was not to be. He heard a new voice, the squeak of a cane chair suddenly pushed back, looked up to see the Major in an att.i.tude of false delight and out came Mrs. Cooper Jekyll followed,--as he inwardly exclaimed,--"by the gentle Alice Palgrave, by all that"s complicating!
Well, I"m jiggered."
"Well," cried Cornucopia, extending her ample hand. "This IS a surprise."
"Yes, I intended it to be," said Mrs. Jekyll, more than ever Southampton in her plague veil and single eyegla.s.s, "just to break the aloofness of your beach life."
"And dear Alice, too,--neater than ever. How very nice to see you, my dear, and how"s your poor mother?"
Her little hand disappearing between Mrs. Hosack"s two podgy members like the contents of a club sandwich, Alice allowed herself to be kissed on both cheeks, murmured an appropriate response, greeted the Thatchers, waved to Hosack who came forward as quickly as he could with pins and needles in one leg and threw a searching glance about for Gilbert.
Every one caught it and gathered instinctively that Mrs. Jekyll had been making mischief. She had certainly succeeded in her desire to break the aloofness. The presence of Alice at that moment, with Gilbert behaving like a madman, was calculated to set every imagination jumping.
"Um, this won"t make G. P. any better tempered," thought Hosack, not without a certain sense of glee.
Mrs. Jekyll disclosed her nose and mouth, which, it seemed, were both there and in perfect condition. "I was in town yesterday interviewing butlers,--that Swiss I told you about refused to be glared at by Edmond and left us on the verge of a dinner party, summing us all up in a burst of pure German,--and there was Alice having a lonely lunch at the Ritz, just back from her mother"s convalescent chair. I persuaded her to come to me for a few days and what more natural than that she should want to see what this wonderful air has done for Gilbert--who has evidently become one of the permanent decorative objects of your beautiful house."
"Cat," thought Mrs. Thatcher.
"And also for the pleasure of seeing so many old friends," said Alice.
"What a gorgeous stretch of sea!" She bent forward and whispered congratulations to the Major"s bride. Her quiet courage in the face of what she knew perfectly well was a universal knowledge of the true state of Gilbert"s infatuation was good to watch. With his one brief cold letter in her pocket and Mrs. Jekyll"s innuendoes,--"all in the friendliest spirit,"--raking her heart, her self-control deserved all the admiration that it won from the members of the house party. To think that Joan, her friend and schoolfellow in whose loyalty she had had implicit faith should be the one to take Gilbert away from her.
With shrewd eyes, long accustomed to look below the surface of the thin veneer of civilization that lay upon his not very numerous set, Hosack observed and listened for the next half an hour, expecting at any moment to see Joan burst upon the group or Gilbert make his appearance, sour, immaculate and with raised eyebrows. He studied Mrs. Jekyll, with her brilliantly made-up face, her apparent lack of guile, and her ever-watchful eye. He paid tribute to his copious wife for her determined babble of generalities, well-knowing that she was bursting with suppressed excitement under the knowledge that Alice had come to try and patch up a lost cause. He chuckled at the feline manners of the little lady whom they had all known so long as Mrs. Edgar Lee Reeves, her purring voice, her frequent over-emphasis of exuberant adjectives, her accidental choice of the sort of verb that had the effect of smashed crockery, her receptiveness to the underlying drama of the situation and the cunning with which she managed to hide her anxiety to be "on" in the scene which must inevitably come. He examined his old friend, Thatcher, under whose perfect drawing-room manners, felicitous quips and ready laughter there was an almost feminine curiosity as to scandal and the inadvertent display of the family wash. And, having a certain amount of humor, he even turned an introspective eye inwards and owned up to more than a little excitement as to what was going to happen when Gilbert realized that Mrs. Jekyll had brought his wife over to rescue him. Conceive Gilbert being rescued! "All of us as near the primeval as most of us are to lunacy," he told himself. "Education, wealth, leisure and all the shibboleths of caste and culture,--how easily they crack and gape before a touch of nature. Brooks Brothers and Lucile do their derndest to disguise us, but we"re still Adam and Eve in a Turkish bath.... Somehow I feel,--I can"t quite say why,--that this comedy of youth in which the elements of tragedy have been dragged in by Gilbert, is coming to a head, and unless things run off at a sudden tangent I don"t see how the curtain can fall on a happy ending for Joan and the husband who never shows himself and the gentle Alice.
Spring has its storms and youth its penalties. I"m beginning to believe that safety is only to be found in the dull harbor of middle-age, curse it, and only then with a good stout anchor."
It was at the exact moment that Joan and Harry went together up the incline towards Martin"s cottage at Devon, eyed by Tootles through the screen door, that Gilbert came back to the veranda and drew up short at the sight of his wife.
XIV
It was when Gilbert, after a most affectionate greeting and ten minutes of easy small talk, led her away from the disappointed group, that Alice made her first mistake.