"But when I did say them..."
Their grip shifted; their fingers curled together. "Do you know what I felt?" he asked. "Triumph. Exhilaration.She loves me , I thought. It took me five minutes too long to realize that I love you back."
"You didn"t come after me," she said painfully.
He made a sound that hurt to hear. "I had to ... adjust. I"m a deliberate man. I like to be sure."
"But you are?"
"Jennifer," he said, "was my first real love. I want to believe we"d still be happily married if she had lived. But I"ve changed in these three, almost four, years. When I try to see her being the mother you are, I wonder. Jenny was used to having her way. A baby was a grand new toy to her, I"m afraid."
"I think,"Lynnsaid carefully, "all women feel that way when they"re pregnant for the first time. The baby seems so unreal! Of course, everything will go the way the books say it will. You don"t really understand how unrelenting having a baby is until you"re on your own and it"s too late to chicken out. I saw that picture of her. Pregnant, I mean. She looked so proud and so happy. I can"t imagine that she wouldn"t have loved Rose as much as you do."
His mouth tilted into a crooked smile. "Maybe so. But she"s dead. Part of me will always regret she didn"t have a chance to be a mother. We had such dreams. Reality is,I"m the lucky one. I have Rose and Sh.e.l.ly and you. I wouldn"t go back if I could. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life, make love to you every night,use our vacations to go toDisneylandwith the kids. I want to argue with you, clean the kitchen with you, and grow old with you. If-" he swallowed "-you can forgive me for hurting you like that."
Lynntumbled into his arms. "Oh, Adam," she mumbled against his neck, "I"m the one who almost messed everything up. I think it was just like with Brian. I wasn"t comfortable. I like ... controlling everything. Always knowing where I stand. I got a little panicky, and I convinced myself I"d be better off the way I was before."
"Were you?" He held her away from him, his eyes dark, turbulent.
She laughed and cried at the same time. "These last months have been the best time in my life. Knowing you love me, too, is like ... like..."
"Buying a thousand shares of Microsoft when it went public?"
The laughter won, though her cheeks were wet. "Somethinglike that. I was thinking more of fireworks and Christmas in July and all those cliches."
"Fireworks," he said, his thumb teasing her lower lip, "we can manage."
His kiss proved the point. Giddy from relief and love and the onslaught of desire, Lynn whispered, "Let"s go to bed."
"Mmm." Adam gripped her shoulders and set her away from him. "One last thing. I"d like to wake up next to you every morning, but I"ll settle for four mornings a week if you want to keep the store here. You need to know that."
"Thank you." She pecked him on the lips. "But I hate the drive, and I want to be with you. I might take a while off and think about what to do next. Or, hey, I might decide to take on Powell"s Books after all! In my own small way, of course."
"Uh-huh. And now-" he stood and held out a hand for hers "-your offer is sounding better and better."
They did, of course, pause partway down the hall to watch thankfully as their daughters slept.
"Right now," Adam said softly, his words tickling Lynn"s ear, "I feel blessed."
"Triply blessed," she agreed, and blinked away tears that were too joyful to shed.
Adam scooped her into his arms. "Let"s go make some fireworks!"
They did that, too, neither forgetting the words that counted, after all.
end.