Chapter 487: The Things Boys Talk About At Night
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
Wu’ke tried his hardest to mimic what his seniors were doing, as his life on it.
However, what he pulled up was not at all close to what his teammates had achieved. He even wondered if his teammates had really died for real; this caused shock to replace his fear. ‘Why did these knights even learn to play dead?! At what point will it be useful? What does this all mean?!’
Unbeknownst to him, the Knight Walker was just a figurehead and was only the Princ.i.p.al on paper. The person really in charge of faculty, its curriculum, and the direction in which knighthood training went was actually the Hitman Walker. As a man pa.s.sionate about his profession, the Hitman Walker had decided to start creat a course, to teach students about the art of espionage and stealth, which were both required if one wanted to infiltrate an enemy base without being seen. However, the concept of stealth in the Hitman Walker’s mind was quite different from the concept employed by a certain bald man, who attempts to sneak into the bases of his enemies whilst disguised in the clothes of enemy guards that had been taken out; and whenever he dragged the corpses of the guards to the toilet — where he planned to hide them — he would get discovered and end up having to gun down everyone, forgoing stealth entirely. 1
Grand Princ.i.p.al Bai was against the idea, though. He even had a verbal row with the Hitman Walker over it, but in the end, however, they both made concessions, and the Stealth course was made an elective course.
Baiyi believed that no one would choose to take this crazy elective course, as the students of the Knight faculty focused on n.o.bility, a trait required for knighthood. With the options of being a ‘beefy tank’ knight and ‘resilient fortress’ knight available to the students of the Knight faculty, it stood to reason that none of them would consider Stealth — a skill for cowards, according to Baiyi. He was sure that the students’ standards were way above that!
However, the outcome was a slap to Baiyi’s smug face. Many students chose to take the elective course. The number of students that turned out for the cla.s.s was alarming. Stealth cla.s.s eventually grew to become one of the most popular elective cla.s.ses in Da Xue’s history.
A factor that contributed to this was Da Xue’s harsh merit system. As one could only graduate if they managed to acquire a high amount of merit points, many that could not be categorized under ‘the absolute best’ needed to join as many elective cla.s.ses as they could, to grind for merit points. It was relatively easy for students of the Knights’ faculty to obtain a high score in the Hitman Walker’s Stealth cla.s.s; this made the cla.s.s useful and highly sort after.
Another factor — a crucial one — was related to the imbalanced male-to-female ratio of students in the faculty, an issue that has already been mentioned.
Although the Hitman Walker was terrible at missions that required stealth, he still knew a lot about the concept of stealth. The Voidwalker could not put into practice what he taught, but from his cla.s.ses, the students learned enough to fool dimwits like the Jawflower — the gatekeeper guarding the female dorms.
The above factors explained why the Stealth elective cla.s.s had become popular amongst the students of the Knight faculty. There were times when Lady a.s.sa.s.sin Walker dropped by, to partic.i.p.ate as a guest teacher, heightening the cla.s.s’s credibility. As time pa.s.sed, students from other faculties — such as the Sorcerer, Alchemy, Literature, and even Theology faculties — were allowed to take the cla.s.s.
Other than Da Xue’s genius talents — who did not lack merit points — serious male students took the Hitman’s Stealth cla.s.s at some point in time; if they had not, their peers would begin to talk, and rumors questioning their s.e.xuality would start to spread.
The Northerners, again, were not up to date on the happenings, as they were still in their self-imposed isolation. None of them knew about Stealth cla.s.s, so they did not join it. If Wu’ke knew about it, he would curse at himself for not joining earlier; if he had, he’d had learned how to play dead, listening only to the racket made by the monster storming past them.
His heart was beating like a drum, and his growing fear did nothing to quell it. Finally, after some time had pa.s.sed, the commotion died down, and silence enveloped the surroundings. Nursing the feeling of relief, Wu’ke made to exhale gently.
Suddenly, Hunky Joe’s hand shot out and covered Wu’ke’s mouth tightly. Seconds later, the monster stirred again, and it shuffled over to where the three were before going silent. A few seconds later, the monster’s pounding footsteps rang out just beside Wu’ke and his friends. It was as though the monster was looking around, trying to perceive any sign of movement.
This went on for some minutes, and the footsteps eventually seemed to fade into the distance. Even after a few seconds had pa.s.sed, there was nothing more to be heard; the monster had finally gone.
“Oh… my… G.o.d! d.a.m.n it, you… How should I put it?” Short Morad began to grumble after letting out a sigh of relief. “You almost got us all killed !”
“W-what was t-that?” Wu’ke said, peering at the darkness beyond, through the s.p.a.ces between the rock fence. “I-I can’t believe something thes terrifyin’ exists in a place loch thes!” He whispered in terror.
“That was the Jawflower, man! Only that b.a.s.t.a.r.d thing walks that way. It’s cunning and nocturnal. Why can’t it just go to sleep like normal monsters do, huh? Its pals, the watermelon and the cactus have already retired for the day. G.o.dd.a.m.n it; this is the reason why this piece of s*** plant is the final boss guarding the girls’ dorm!” Hunky Joe answered unhappily. “Are you even from this academy? You don’t seem to know anything at all!”
That remark made Wu’ke feel embarra.s.sed. He lowered his head and explained, “Um, we… We dinnae join th’ faculty as much. We devote only tae Master Warrior Walker’s teachings.”
“Master Warrior Walker ?” The two teammates stared at Wu’ke with twinkling eyes. “Do you mean… that drop-dead gorgeous, black-haired babe, who is as beautiful as a fey from heaven? She’s actually a lecturer of the Knights Faculty?”
“Dinnae be foolish an’ shallow as tae only view ‘er as an object! She’s a saintess in Northern martial arts; sae show some respect,” The Northerner rebuked. “We dare nae gaze upon ‘er beauty in th’ eye, let alone comment on it sae flippantly!”
Morad grimaced. “Pfft, you Northerners are really pretentious, you know that? Come on, tell us more, yea? Can’t believe that, for once, we’re the clueless party… We know nothing about this gal!”
“I am willin’, but even I ken only puckle things about ‘er. She’s th’ legend o’ legends, she who had created a unique elemental combat chi technique that was lost in time. It was only since she had returned as a Soul Armature that this solitaire o’ martial arts resurfaces,” Wu’ke answered honestly. “Indeed, we’re only here because we wanted tae learn Frozen Fire from ‘er.”
“Hey, do you know what this? This is a ‘ yawn .’ Who even wants to listen to boring s***, man? At least give something more useful, like a name! Hobbies! Favorite spot to hang out! Is she single? Does she have a lot of suitors?” Morad said, firing question after question. “Don’t you see that these are the real meat of knowledge?!”
“N-name? I believe she’s known as Lan’you… Or at least, that was what I heard. As for the rest, I ken naught,” he answered with a helpless expression.
Of the three Huffing Piggies, only Lady a.s.sa.s.sin Walker showed her face, every now and then, in public to give cla.s.ses and host talks. The Warrior Walker and Fairy Walker rarely appeared. Even after the Northern exchange students joined Da Xue, the Warrior Walker rarely showed up. Although she was the faculty’s head — and only — lecturer, she only gave lectures once in a month; most of the time, the students trained on their own.
“Motherf*****. This is the only thing you know? You Northerners should be ashamed of yourselves!” Morad exclaimed exasperatedly.
“Halt. There is something significant that I feel I must divulge,” Wu’ke, whose head an imaginary lightbulb had just appeared over, blurted. The two seniors quickly turned to him, their lips curling upwards into sinister smiles.
“She seems tae be th’ Grand Princ.i.p.al’s consort…” He said softly.
Hunky Joe and Short Morad felt their bodies tremble. This new piece of news made them feel as though bolts of lightening were coursing through their bodies, obliterating any interest they harbored towards the Warrior Walker. They knew what the Grand Princ.i.p.al had done to those foolish enough to confess love to Profession Mia, who was, more or less, his ward . That man was worse than the Jawflower; the most terrifying monsters could not hold a candle to his ferocity.
After the explosive piece of news was heard, awkward silence enveloped the three. After a few moments, Morad quickly changed the subject.
“Fine then, just our s**** luck. I just didn’t know she’s from our faculty,” he said. “I previously thought that our prettiest lecturer was Professor Attie, which, in turn, made me think that we’re losing to other faculties, you know?”
” Excuuuuuuse you ,” Joe suddenly b.u.t.ted in. “Are you implying that Professor Attie isn’t pretty enough?!”
“No, Senior, that’s not what I meant! Come on. The Sorcerer Faculty’s got both Professor Mia and Professor Nota; the Dragon Knights have the mother and daughter pair, who are both beautiful; and the Theology Faculty may have only Vice-Princ.i.p.al Laeticia, but I always considered her the prettiest one of them all,” Morad explained matter-of-factly. “So, what I’m saying is, as the number one faculty in Da Xue, shouldn’t we also be number one in this department?”
The boys were starting to understand that the first night in Mount Parazonium was most likely the safest, so it was the best time for them to engage in their favorite topics of conversation.
“Oof. Can’t argue with that mad truth.” Joe was surprisingly easy to be persuaded!
“Pardon me, isn’t th’ number one faculty in Da Xue th’ Sorcerer Walker’s faculty?” Wu’ke said, not knowing he was being unnecessarily honest.
“Bah! Those nerds? All they have is the most number of students! I don’t see why that makes them better than us!” Morad retorted scornfully.
“We might not have the numbers, but we have way more battle skills than they ever do. They wouldn’t dare do anything similar to the Trial of Parazonium in their curriculum, because Grand Princ.i.p.al Hope is too d.a.m.n conservative. He’s always forcing students to follow his antiquated method!” Joe added hotly.
“Speaking of which, I’ll be frank: Princ.i.p.al Archmage is that one lecturer from those nerds’ place that I genuinely like,” Morad said. He stuck his hand into his storage pouch and fished out a few cards with beautiful anime-styled girls drawn on it.
They were the same cipher cards from the Archmage’s infamous gatcha game. Apparently, Morad was a fan of 2D waifus.
“Oh ho, you’re a man of culture!” Hunky Joe’s lips spread into an appreciative grin before fis.h.i.+ng out his own collection. “Come, show me what you got!”
At this point, Wu’ke realized he was once again completely at a loss of what was being said at all.
“Yo! You actually have loli Mia?! I heard it’s the rarest SSR ever!”
“Well, rarest before Grand Princ.i.p.al Hope intervenes. Thanks to him, the rate of pulling an SSR has improved a lot, so this loli version of Professor Mia isn’t that rare anymore.”
“I know, but I’m still kinda jealous…”
“What’s there to be jealous about? It’s not really that useful of a card. The only thing it can do is stop that broken Princ.i.p.al Hope. Other times, I just treat it as a part of my h.o.a.rd, because she’s really gorgeous here. Okay, now lemme see yours — the f***?! You have that many SSR with you?! By the G.o.ds, you’re a rich kid, aren’t you?”
“No, no. You’re exaggerating. I only got this many of ’em because the rate of each pull had increased. All these took was just ten gold coins.”
“Only ten b.l.o.o.d.y gold coins for eighteen SSR?! Your luck is f***ing broke! That’s it, you’re just rubbing it on my face! You wanted to rub it on my face, don’t ya?”
“Wha? ‘Course not. You’re the one who asked for it, didn’t ya~”
“Why you… Are you a human or are you just a big, pompous s...o...b..at?!”
“Neither; I’m just lucky. Oh, with that being said, it doesn’t matter how lucky you are if there haven’t been any new cards to pull. Ever since the Princ.i.p.al had taken over the entire operation, there just aren’t as many new cards anymore… It’s kinda lame now.”
“Shut your piehole, s...o...b..at! Only people like you have the luxury to complain.”
The Northerner sat quietly on a side and watched the seniors’ back-and-forth banter. Once again, he was completely out of the loop.