Chapter 352: I Am Not Your Grandpa
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
“Since we’re already here, we might as well as just visit,” Baiyi muttered to himself as he eyed the long stretch of road in front of him. He waved his students — who were wandering about close by — over and led them onward. They were going to cover the remaining distance on foot.
Baiyi had not walked for very long when the Archmage’s voice resounded in his head from the Void. “Are you sure you don’t want to wake the Fairy Walker up? It is her hometown you all are visiting, after all, and it’s been a long time since she saw her home. It should be worth her while, even if she gets to see it through your eyes. How unlike poor, lonely old me, who no longer has a home to return to, tsk tsk tsk…”
‘What the… Why are you sad all of a sudden?’ Baiyi was speechless. However, he admitted that the Archmage had a point there. The Fairy Walker had not returned to Eom, even once, since she was whisked away to the Void, so if he let her see her home town once again, her sanity may return, Baiyi thought.
After coming to a decision, Baiyi gentle poked the Fairy Walker’s consciousness, but she did not stir. The previous game may have worn her out more than he thought it did. Unsure of what to do, Baiyi poked her harder, and harder, and even harder. Soon, he was basically forcefully jabbing at her consciousness; only then did the Fairy Walker finally respond a little.
“Aah~~! Darling, that was quite the mean touch, mm? Must you wake me up so brutally? Hmm. Have I been sleeping for a long time? I get it now; my darling needs me to help satisfy his pent-up carnal desire!” 1
‘What the f*ck is she even talking about?!’ Baiyi widened his eyes, suddenly regretting his decision.
“Tell me, dearie, would you like to have dinner, a bath… or me?”
‘I can’t even…’ Baiyi sighed and ignored the question; instead, he shared his memories of events that had occurred since the last game with her.
The speed with which one could sift through memories depended on the person watching the memories. It took the Fairy Walker a very short time to finish watching the half a year’s worth of memories Baiyi had shared with her. When she was done, she quietly muttered, “Ohh, look at my handsome darling, filling up the s.p.a.ces next to him with more beautiful girls! Oh, and they are so, so beautiful. Each one is prettier, sweeter, and more gentle than the last… Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho…”
‘Th-there’s something about that chuckle that can cause one’s blood to run cold’
After her low ramble, the Fairy Walker swiftly turned around to examine the other Voidwalkers, especially the Warrior Walker and the a.s.sa.s.sin Walker. “Mm-hmm, and what do we have here? It was very bold of you to sneak over to my man like that while I was away, right?”
Unexpectedly, the Warrior Walker stepped forward to face her. “I was here first.”
It was true. The a.s.sa.s.sin Walker was the twenty-second Voidwalker to arrive in the Void; the Warrior Walker was the twenty-eighth Voidwalker to arrive, and the Fairy Walker was the thirtieth Voidwalker.
“Oh, sweetie… It is possible for a girl to lose her childhood friend to another woman who came into his life many years later. Hence, does it matter who came first, hmm?” The Fairy Walker retorted with logic Baiyi found strange.
“I agree. The best will win,” the Warrior Walker replied.
Seeing the situation escalate, Baiyi’s mouth began to open, in an attempt to speak words of mediation; however, the three Voidwalkers suddenly glared at him and shouted in unison, “Don’t you dare, you moron!”
At that, he had no choice but to swallow his words and shut his mouth.
For the remainder of the day, there were no discussions in the Void. All every one of its inhabitants could hear were sentences like “If y’all have the b.a.l.l.s to steal my man, y’all better have that same d.a.m.n b.a.l.l.s to face me!”, “I can make a child just as well as I can make a cake!”, and “Hmph!”
This went on until the revered First Walker had had enough, and his voice thundered across the Void. “The three of you, behave!”
The three went quiet instantly. Apparently, despite his jovial nature, the Archmage held a more esteemed position in their minds than Baiyi did.
Baiyi had spent a long time with these female Voidwalkers, so he could easily list what he thought their best features were. In the hardware department, which dealt with natural beauty and figure, the Fairy Walker was a clear winner; Baiyi had already admitted that he had never seen someone as beautiful as the Fairy Walker was[1]. In the software department, which dealt with wits and capabilities, no one held a candle to the Warrior Walker, which was a given from the tactics she employed in their void games. As for the a.s.sa.s.sin Walker, her best feature was her age! She was the youngest of the three Voidwalkers. She was only twenty years old when she arrived at the Void, so she still looked girly and had a small frame — a.s.sets thought to be the best.
Baiyi had no idea what was being discussed because the three female Voidwalkers were conversing privately. However, after some time, the Fairy Walker poked him, with a smug expression, and proudly declared, “Dar~ling! I won!”
“Hmph!”
“Hmph!”
Two chilling snorts followed the declaration.
‘These two piggies actually lost?’ Baiyi was shocked. ‘ Is it because they have been too devoted in training? Is that what has now come back to haunt them? No wonder they could not fight back against someone who had been through this part of life like the Fairy Walker… Hahahahah, this is funny!’
” I didn’t lose. She had an advantage in this aspect,” the Warrior replied calmly before going quiet.
“Mm-hmm. Now, let’s s.h.i.+ft our focus to those midgets in the real world. Hmm.. dearie, you don’t seem to like them in that way, so maybe I can hold back, for now. Really, though, if you wanted a daughter so much, why don’t we hit it so that I can bear a daughter for you?” The Fairy Walker began.
‘Hit what with what? What do we have to “hit” with?!’ Her words left Baiyi speechless, but he forced himself to move on to the topics that mattered. “Let’s just move on, shall we? You now know the reason for which we have embarked on our current trip. Any suggestions?”
“Of course I do~!” She replied, confidently. “That secret technique you and your friends invented could bring me to the real world, and from there, I can just sense the bow to determine its location. Isn’t that right, my dear? You little fool, you should have just woken me up earlier, instead of traveling all the way to my home… unless! You knew that I missed my home, so this whole thing was just a ruse for me to visit my old place again! Ohh… Darling, darling, darling! Always so considerate and gentle~!”
It may have been wistful-thinking on her part, but Baiyi was too embarra.s.sed to correct her, so he shamelessly let it slide. “Ha… H-ha haha! Th-that’s part of the purpose; yep!”
At that moment, however, he felt a sharp jab in the void. “Psst, Doofus… I miss home too…”
Another jab came Baiyi’s way, followed by a whisper. “It’s been ages since I got to see my home, too.”
‘What’s with you two? My main purpose is the Caudillo b.u.t.terfly bow. It’s only by necessity that we’re also visiting her hometown!’
“Hmph!”
“Hmph!”
The a.s.sa.s.sin Walker and Warrior Walker both snorted and kept quiet.
The Fairy Walker nudged him at that moment. “What’s the matter, dear? Does the secret spell take a long time to prepare? That’s rather curious since it did not take such a long time for that dwarf-sized a.s.sa.s.sin to descend, right~?”
‘C-can I ask for a refund on this cheap wife? I-I-I don’t want her anymore!’ Baiyi shook his head slowly and s.h.i.+fted his attention back to reality. He asked his students to wait for him, and he went underneath a small shrub, then he took out the old militia armor set and cast the spell.
The old militia armor set, which now contained the Fairy Walker, began to move. She stretched her arms and slowly sat up in a cat-like manner, then she sniffed the air deeply and smiled. “Smells like home. So familiar, so good…” Thanks to the Archmage’s tinkering, even the sense of smell on this thing is perfect.
Baiyi stood to the side, looking around anxiously. He had even expanded the range of his psychic energy.
“My dear? You look a little tense.” The Fairy cooed and moved closer to him. “I apologize that all forms of touching can only be done through the wretched armor I now have for a body. If that was not the case, this beautiful scenery would have been the most perfect location for us to try to conceive our own child!”
‘The first thing that comes to your mind after descending is to have alfresco s.e.x 2 ? Seriously, what do you store in your brain? How are my students supposed to link you with that carefree girl in the story I told them?’ Baiyi hollered in his mind, but on the outside, he urged her, saying, “You should try sensing the location of the Caudillo b.u.t.terfly bow first, don’t you agree? I mean, you’re no longer its owner, so it might not work.”
“Worry not!” She replied. “As soon as I returned, the child called out to me. Mm-hmm, such a precious one!”
“So where is it?” He quickly asked.
“What’s the hurry, dearie? You’re not thinking of getting me back in there as soon as you know where it is, are you?”
That was actually what Baiyi wished to do.
“Anyways, I have to listen to what my dearest husband says; this is something a good wife would do. However, I’m afraid I can’t tell where exactly the bow is. All I can feel is its general direction, so we’ll have to follow that until we locate it,” the Fairy Walker explained. Baiyi did not know whether that was a lie, though.
In certain ways, the Fairy Walker was different from the other female Voidwalkers because she had experienced a lot more in her life than they had. Her actions and thoughts reflected her experience with different kinds of people, so Baiyi could did not allow the fact that she called him ‘darling’ make him forget that if she was to become his enemy…
“Nevertheless, we should head home now, right, dear?” The Fairy Walker asked as she hugged Baiyi’s arm like a girl who was taking her boyfriend to see her parents for the first time.
Baiyi felt nothing from the gesture, though. He could not help but remember that the same militia armor had already been occupied by the Archmage and the a.s.sa.s.sin Walker before. Hence, to him, there was no feeling.
When they returned to the students, Tisdale, who was happy to see the militia armor again, ran over to the pair. “Grandpa?!”
While the Archmage was around, she was his favorite, so it only stood to reason that she would be even happier than Mia to see grandpa Archmage again.
The other students were also very happy to see the Archmage again. Unlike Baiyi, the First Walker actually knew how to ingratiate himself with the students.
However, before Tisdale could embrace the militia armor, she sensed something odd and stopped dead in her tracks. Then, she began to study the armor, before asking, “Are you…. Are you Grandpa?”
To this, the Fairy Walker snapped. “Call me Mama!”