Why not go to JUSCO with me, Valkyrie?

Translator: ShimizuA, Kenar    Editor: Yuzuhaa    TLC: Anonymous

"HA-HA-HA-HA-…!!"(Rinichirou)

Just a couple of minutes ago. I"m back at my house after being pulled along by Krau as we ran here. My heart feels like it"s gonna burst.

While my breathing is still in disorder, Princess Pau cheerfully greets me from the living room.

"Oh, Krau and Rinichirou. Welcome back."(Pau)

"Yes, your highness. I have returned."(Krau)

"HA-haa-HAA-!! HA-HA-haa-haa-HAA-!!"

"Oh my, Rinichirou, has your breathing become ragged? Haha, it seems thou gets excited when thou thinks they"ll marry Krau. Although I haven"t heard it recently, in the past in j.a.pan "Moe" plus "It"s gonna be erotic" was called "ragged breathing", so it"s a situation like that. Good for you, Krauzera."(Pau)

"Yes, I see…. I"m starting to understand what your highness meant. When we got back home, he was breathing roughly and unable to speak, so I was wondering if he was not enthusiastic about getting married… I see. I"m glad."(Krau)

You guys, don"t just go interpreting another person"s breathing pattern on your own!

Also, Krau, what does that "I"m glad" mean?! Why does your expression seem relieved?!

"HE-HE-!! HA-Ha-ha-HAA!! he-he-He-HEE!!"(Rinichirou)

There are a lot of things I want to say, but my breathing has yet to calm down. It"s still disordered.

After desperately calming down my breath for a while, finally-

"Haah- haaah- haaa- fuuuuh-… Hey, princess! What"s the meaning of this!?"(Rinichirou)

I"m able to let out my voice at last.

"Hm? What dost thou mean by "this"?"(Pau)

"The thing with Krau! Isn"t it weird to force someone to marry against their will?"(Rinichirou)

"It can"t be helped. This is also for the sake of The Holy Eis United Kingdom. It"s a procedure that"s necessary in order to form a government in exile for our homeland Eis here in j.a.pan."(Pau)

"I understand your reason… but, what about the will of the person in question? Even if you"re a princess, it doesn"t mean you can just demand anything. You can"t force her to marry if the person herself doesn"t want it." (Rinichirou)

"What are you saying? Krauzera also wishes for this marriage you know. She is pleased to be able to marry you."(Pau)

Is that true!?

"Isn"t that right, Krauzera?"(Pau)

"Yes, it"s an honor that"s more than I deserve."(Krau)

She answers it without a shred of doubt in her eyes. There isn"t any trace of dishonesty in her answer.

So, Krau really likes me after all? Now that she mentions it, she did indeed give a response like that earlier.

Don"t tell me── that a plain high school country boy like me is considered handsome in another world!? I see… mhm, exactly what I expect from a fantasy world. A story that exists within dreams.

"For me, Krauzera, to be able to serve your highness for the sake of restoring our country…. As a RosebudKnight, there is no greater happiness than this."(Krau)

… Wait, so it"s like that after all.

So, it isn"t because she likes me, but because of her loyalty to the princess and her country in the end… no, no, I"m just realizing it was because of that! I"m not disappointed at all! I just misunderstood!

"If that"s the case, then I"m against this. It"s just too pitiful for Krau."(Rinichirou)

"I… I"m not that pitiful or anything! As an Eis" RosebudKnight, It"s a pleasure to devote myself for my lord"s sake! So, being married to you is not pitiful either!"(Krau)

"Like I said, I don"t want that kind of reason!"(Rinichirou)

Or rather, I feel that it further emphasizes the "truthfully, I don"t want to do it" nuance from before.

At that moment, Princess Pau interjects.

"Rinichirou… Sure, this may be a political marriage. However, even I wish for my friend"s, Krau"s, happiness. After considering various things, I decided to choose you as her partner. When we first met you, the sparkle and shine in your eyes went bla bla bla mumble mumble."(Pau)

"Speak your thoughts properly until the end." (Rinichirou)

What"s with that "bla bla bla mumble mumble". I thought it was serious for a sec and almost replied seriously too.

"It"s not like I especially chose Rinichirou who was within my reach because it was convenient or anything, okay?"(Pau)

As expected. So it was because of such a reason.

"And besides, in Krauzera"s case, since you saw her naked last night, it seems she is roughly aware of thou as a member of the opposite s.e.x and bla bla bla mumble mumble, so I thought it would be good to have you two marry because "Since you have seen me naked take responsibility." right?"(Pau)

"Right", my b.u.t.t. Again with your ambiguous way of speaking.

So, what you"re trying to say is that she"s fallen in love with me because I saw her naked? Of course, there isn"t any woman like that, there isn"t. Right, Krau?

"…………"(Krau)

Krau? Why is your face becoming red again?

"………………………………"(Krau)

Hm…? Is there something wrong Krau? Miss Krau?

"Hey, Krau…"(Rinichirou)

When she hears my voice, she suddenly jolts──

"──HH! Ri-Rinichirou, don"t be so full of yourself! D-Die!"(Krau)

Using both of her hands, she pushes me away with a bang.

No, rather than a "bam", it"s more like a "ka-bang". It"s because she"s wearing her metal gauntlets. Either way, it freaking hurts a ton. Since she has physical strength fitting for a female knight, the moment she blew me away, I had already crashed into the wall behind me.

What"s with her reaction? It"s like she actually has fallen in love with me since I saw her naked…or so I think for a moment, but I erase that thought since I had misunderstood before. I won"t make a fool of myself by misunderstanding twice.

"The heck are you doing, you lot are so noisy. What"s wrong?"(Grandma)

Ah, grandma.

"Grandma, this is bad! This princess is trying to force a marriage between me and Krau!"(Rinichirou)

"I know."(Grandma)

What did you say?

"Well, the proposal for your marriage was my suggestion after all. It"s a countermeasure against this town"s depopulation and lack of brides, besides, I think Krau is suitable to be a daughter-in-law of our family."(Grandma)

"On what basis was your proposal founded upon? We just met them yesterday, didn"t we?"(Rinichirou)

"What, I realized immediately that Krau is a good girl. When I met her for the first time, I felt the sparkle and shine in her eyes bla bla bla mumble mumble."(Grandma)

"Like I said, speak your thoughts properly until the end! Why is everyone like that!"

So it was Grandma who taught the princess that phrase.

"Well, putting aside the sugarcoating, let"s move on to the main topic──"(Grandma)

So that means, the real reason isn"t that pretty?

"In the morning, I asked Krau to help with the house ch.o.r.es. I asked her to clean the house, to clean the garden, to sweep the front street, to scrub the bath, to do the laundry, to repair some things, and to help me boil the udon for lunch."(Grandma)

"Grandma, you worked her too much. What are you, a demon?" (Rinichirou)

How many house ch.o.r.es did you make her do in the morning?

"So, this girl did everything I ask without even saying any complaint. Truly an ideal wife! She works hard and she doesn"t disobey me!"(Grandma)

You really are a demon, aren"t you!

"However, this girl was bad at the details. She"s quick on the uptake though."(Grandma)

Well, it"s obvious since there is no way an otherworlder has cleaned a j.a.panese house nor used a washing machine to do laundry. She is a knight in the first place so she may have never done house ch.o.r.es before.  

"But, because I could scold her properly for that, she will be wonderful as a granddaughter-in-law. You know, I always wanted an in-law like her. My first daughter-in-law could basically do anything; she didn"t have any gaps (in her defenses). The second daughter-in-law, in other words, Rinichirou"s mom, was indiscriminately powerful in a fight. It was unfortunate, but it seems it was impossible for me to pick on a young wife. Yet, Krau can become the "bullied wife" of my dreams!"(Grandma)

"What kind of reason is that!"(Rinichirou)

You"re willing to put your grandson into a political marriage in order to gain a brat bride? What kind of old hag are you?

"I don"t really care, but Krau is probably stronger than mom, you know? She is a female knight after all."

"Says the fool. The winner of the battle between daughter-and-mother-in-law isn"t determined by weapon nor physical strength. It"s decided by many other things. I~HI~HI~HI~"(Grandma)

Old hag, you"re making a really scary face right now!?

"Anyways, that"s why we"re gonna go through this wedding before the day ends. ─Krau, go to the back room. I just borrowed a bridal costume from a costume rental a while ago, so let"s get ready."(Grandma)

"Yes, dear Grandmother."(Krau)

"Rinichirou, since your school uniform will do, just wait here like that. Pau-ko, please watch him so he won"t run away."(Grandma)

"Alright, dear grandmother. Your skillfulness and aggressiveness are truly befitting of a general"s caliber. When the time comes that we can revive our kingdom, I would really like to scout you as the general to lead our army."

No, all the old woman in the countryside are like that, you know?

◆◇◆◇◆

And then, after 1 hour──

I tried to escape once, only to be captured, tied with duct tape and vinyl cord, then thrown into the living room. It seems I was fated to be tied up by cords since yesterday.

Grandma went to the back room to continue with Krau"s preparation. Princess Pau is keeping a close eye on me while watching TV.

"Oohhh… So the programs on NHK education[1]greatly differ from AM to PM, don"t they? Go, Rakugo, Horticulture[2], it"s all about unusual and rare things. I have been watching this channel since morning, but I have to say that the channel itself is a work of art."(Pau)

You have too much time on your hands! What are you, a grade schooler who"s resting because of a cold ?!

"Rinichiro, why are you bothered by various things? And also, about Krauzera too… Nevertheless, we need to be able to live here in j.a.pan by whatever means possible. It"s all for the sake of The Holy Eis United Kingdom"s restoration. Since it"s a duty for one of royalty after all…"(Pau)

Princess Pau…

"Besides… speaking of Nihon, it"s the home of anime and manga culture! A dream country where I can see anime every night, for free! And there"s also Akihabara!"(Pau)

"You, so that was your real aim all along!?"(Rinichirou)

Or rather, so that was your reason?

"And it"s not just limited to Akihabara; there"s also Ikebukuro Otome Road, Nakano Broadway, and of course, the Tokyo Big Sight![3] Although I kept it a secret until now, the truth is that I like anime and manga─ the so-called Otaku hobbies."(Pau)

"No, it was as clear as a day."(Rininchirou)

You were talking about eroge after all.

"On that note, the Holy Eis United Kingdom was the worst. Days pa.s.sed with me shedding tears of regret while helplessly browsing the net every night…"(Pau)

"There was internet there!? Even though it"s another world?"(Rinichirou)

"Umu, It was a certain optical line company. They distributed modems to the town without charging."(Pau)

What a great company!? You"re even operating in a different world too!

"However, as one would expect it come from another world. The line rent became a little bit pricey. Even the freight fee was said to be an out of this world price when I tried to do some shopping on Amazon"(Pau)

So there are such risks like that, as expected.

"The orcs went berserk and come attacking because they were asking for compensation regarding the rise in poll tax"(Pau)

"Oi! Wait a moment! You never mentioned that before until just now!?"(Rinichirou)

I thought of you as "A pitiful princess who was driven out of the country by the detestable orcs", perhaps you are the one to blame after all?

"By the way, Rinichirou, isn"t there a PC in this house? It seems that my iPad is broken, it"s been having difficulties connecting to the internet for a long time"(Pau)

This otherworlder, she even has an iPad!?

"Also, about the TV, is there something wrong with it? There are some channels that won"t show up. It would be great if you bought a new one before the late night anime starts airing. If you"re gonna go to the home appliance store in Akihabara through the Yamanote line, let me go with you. I want to go buy some doujinshi and eroge."(Pau)

"Hey, Princess Pau, there are various things that I want to say but…"(Rinichirou)

I don"t know where to start since there are so many things I want to talk about.

The princess interrupts my words because I fell silent for a bit.

"Wait, Rinichirou, you don"t need to say it. I understand that you have a lot to say about this marriage. However, isn"t this a good deal for you? In this case, just "being married to a beautiful woman" is already an unexpectedly wonderful experience for an ordinary high schooler like you."(Pau)

Hn? Princess, did you just say something weird? Well, it has already been weird since a while ago but it"s a different kind of "weird".

"Think about it. "Suddenly, a female knight and a princess from a fantasy world have come and became freeloaders in my house" by itself is already a wonderful experience, like a late night anime, is it not? Encountering an otherworlder should be an extraordinary experience for a j.a.panese. Although j.a.pan and Eis have diplomatic relations, it seems we aren"t known really well here in Nihon. Considering that point, you should be even more pleased."(Pau)

"What"s with that otaku mind of yours?! But, well… I see. I understand what you"re trying to say."(Rinichirou)

"Right? Moreover, "We met and got married the next day" feels like a romcom development, doesn"t it?"(Pau)

"Well, yeah. About that… hmm, I wonder when I should start talking?"(Rinichirou)

There are too many things that I really want to say. I arrange it in my head and decide to explain it in order.

"Anyways princess Pau, there"s something I need to tell you. First is, oh right. First, about the TV and internet… no, that can wait. Since you"ll be disappointed, hear this clearly."(Rinichirou)

"Hm? Why are you saying that in a suggestive way?"(Pau)

"For now, let"s start from the "extraordinary experience.". Princess Pau, it"s true that there is some truth in the Anime you saw. Sure, it"s common sense that "people from another world have come and became freeloaders in my house" would be extraordinary for a j.a.panese high schooler."(Rinichirou)

"Hmhm, just as I have said. I know that very well."(Pau)

"But, in the end, it"s just common sense, how to say it, it"s─"(Rinichirou)

At that moment!

─SNOORTTT~~!

─SNOOORRTTTT~~~~!

─SNOOOOORRRTTTT~~~~~~!

Suddenly, seven mysterious laser beams are emitted along with a thunderous snort.

A lot of them. They flew into the living room from the porch-side window aimed at the princess and me. The beam ─which seems to be accompanied by high heat, left a black burnt mark one after another in the living room.

"OOHH!? Wh-What happened? Don"t tell me, the pursuers from the Orcs are already here!?"(Rinichirou)

"No, I don"t think so. It just, look─"(Rinichirou)

Looking towards the outside of the porch, there are the figures of the ones who are responsible for the beams.

They are ─ Aliens with a ray gun!

Moreover, they have an octopus shape. They are quite small, around 50 cm tall; the garden becomes noisy with all 20 or more of them.

There"s no mistake… They are the bunch who live at Miyato"s place.

"Princess, the beam didn"t hit you, did it?"(Rinichirou)

"Uh… Yeah, I"m alright, however…"(Pau)

I see. I"m glad she is okay.

"Hey, Rinichirou… What"s going on here? Who are they?"(Pau)

"They are the Alien"s Government in Exile group. They are freeloaders at my cla.s.smate"s house."(Rinichirou)

"Alien"s Government in Exile group!? Freeloaders!?"(Pau)

A few years ago, after they lost in a political strife and were exiled from the Galactic Empire party, they drifted into this town and formed a Government in Exile.

"Is, is that so… However, what do you mean by aliens? According to the information I learned from the internet, a freeloading alien was supposed to only exist in anime or manga, wasn"t it?"(Pau)

"Ahh, about that─"(Rinichirou)

In a sense, this is perfect timing. This makes it easier to explain. I decide to continue from where I left off earlier.

Sure, it"s common sense that "people from another world have come and became freeloaders in my house" will be extraordinary for a j.a.panese high schooler.

But it"s different here.

"The truth is… these things are quite common in this town."(Rinichirou)

"WHAT THE HECK!?"(Pau)

Footnotes:

Nakano Broadway. A shopping complex filled with anime merch, a good way if you don"t want to get lost in Akihabara (personal experience). You can visit it by a short walk from Nakano Station. .

Tokyo Big Sight. The place where they held Comiket. Enough said.