"Whisht! whisht! Back, Davy, back!" (The two professional gentlemen were ensconced in a close or entry directly opposite Mr Willoughby"s garden-gate.) "Back, Davy, back!" said Howison. "There"s somebody comin. I hear folk speakin and lauchin in the garden."
Davy listened an instant, then acknowledged there were good grounds for the a.s.sertion, and immediately drew himself farther into his hiding-place, like an alarmed snail into its sh.e.l.l.
Howison, as the princ.i.p.al, now placed himself in front of his a.s.sistant, squeezed himself as close as he could to the wall, until he stuck as close to, and as flat on it, as a bat. He then, by a dexterous movement, thrust his head in a lateral direction, till his nose just cleared the corner of the close, when, closing his left eye, and concentrating his whole powers of vision in his right, he planted the solitary optic with eager vigilance on the garden gate, to watch the coming forth of those who were on its opposite side. For this he had not long to wait. In a few moments the gate flew open, and out sallied, with frequent bursts of merriment, one of the gayest and most joyous parties that a bright summer day ever brought forth; and gayest and most joyous of the whole was Jacob Merrilees. Of the whole squad his laugh was the loudest, his motions the liveliest, his looks the most cheerful. Jacob was in his element. He was in the midst of a bevy of ladies. One hung on each arm; while others, to whom fortune had not been so propitious in allowing them to get nearer his person, contented themselves with taking the arms again of their more favoured sisters--of those two enviable spinsters who had secured the posts of honour, the immediate vicinity of the admired Jacob Merrilees. Jacob was thus in the very centre of the gay band of fair spinsters; and a proud man was he of his enviable position. He talked!--ye G.o.ds, how he talked!--and chattered away in a manner most delightful to hear; at least so it seemed, from the frequent bursts of laughter which he elicited from his lively protegees. He smirked, and he smiled, and he bowed, first to one side and then to another, after his most captivating manner, and, in short, did all that a man who was pleased with himself, and desired to please others, could possibly do to maintain these agreeable feelings. He was the king of the roost--that was evident; the very centre of attraction; the delight, the glory, the leading star in the galaxy of beauty of which he formed a part.
The party having cleared the gate, took the road with a circular sweep round, and a burst of merriment that sufficiently betokened the lightness of heart and of heel of those of whom it was composed.
"Deek yon, Davy," exclaimed Howison, at this interesting moment, and now addressing the worthy just named, who had by this time come up alongside of him, and was also indulging himself in a bird"s-eye view of the party round the corner of the close. "Deek yon, Davy. He"s aff like a paitrik: but we"ll bring him up wi" a short turn, I"m thinkin.
We"ll pit a slug through his wing. Little does he ken wha"s watchin him."
"Wull we gie chase?" said the concurrent, who stood at this instant like a dog in the slip, with his neck on the stretch, and every nerve braced for the run.
"No, no; gie him the start a bit till he gathers confidence, and then we"ll pounce on him. Wary, Davy, wary! keep in a bit. Dinna shute oot your head so far. If he gets a glisk o" ye, he"ll tak to his trotters in a minnit, and gie us an infernal rin for"t. See what lang legs the sinner has."
"I think I could rin him ony day," replied Howison"s concurrent, "and gie him a start o" a hunner yards to the bargain."
"I"m no sure o" that," rejoined Howison, shaking his head doubtingly; "ye dinna ken hoo a man can rin wi" a caption at his heels. It maks them go at a deevil o" a rate. I"ve seen great, fat, auld chaps, that ye wadna hae thocht could rin a yard an"t were to save their lives, flee like the win before a "Whereas.""
"Noo, noo, Davy," continued Howison, and now recalling his neighbour"s attention to business, "let us be joggin. He"s takin the richt road, so we"ll just pin him at our leisure."
Saying this, the pair started, and in a short time were hovering on the skirts of the heedless party, and their heedless and unwary leader, the devoted Jacob Merrilees.
Wholly unconscious, as the reader will readily believe, of the plot that was thickening over his head, or, rather, at his heels, Jacob was continuing the career of banter, and lively small talk, and smart repartee, which distinguished his first appearance at the garden gate, when he suddenly felt himself gently touched from behind on the left shoulder. He turned round, but without quitting the arms of the fair ladies who hung upon him, and looked frowningly on Howison.
"What do you mean, sir?" inquired Jacob, indignantly, and now glancing also at Howison"s companion, who stood close by, with his stick tucked under his arm.
To this query the only reply was a knowing wink, and a significant wag of the forefinger, which, when translated, meant--"Come here, friend, and I"ll tell you."
"Get along with you, sir!" said Jacob, contemptuously.
"Thank you, but I won"t," replied Howison, saucily.
"No! Then what the devil do you want?"
"You," said the former, emphatically. "But you had better conduct yourself quietly, for your own sake."
"Now, my good fellow," replied Jacob, in a satirically calm tone, "_do_ tell me what you mean?"
"Do ye ken such a man as Fairly the tailor?" inquired Howison, who always affected a degree of playfulness in the execution of this department of his duties. "Do ye ken Fairly the tailor?" he said, with an intelligent smile.
"I know no such man, sir; never heard his name before," replied Jacob, angrily, and now urging his fair protegees onwards--the whole party having been stopped by the incident just detailed.
"Not so fast, friend," exclaimed Howison, making after his prey, and again slapping him on the shoulder, but now less ceremoniously. "You are my prisoner, and here"s my authority," he added, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. It was the decreet against Simmins. "Although _you_ don"t know Fairly, _I_ happen to know Fairly"s surtout. The short and the long of the matter is, sir," continued Howison, "that I arrest you at the instance of John Fairly, tailor and clothier, for a debt of 4:15s., with interest and expenses, said debt being the price of the identical surtout which you have just now on your back. So come along quietly, or it may be worse for you."
We do not suppose it is necessary that we should describe the amazement of the unhappy wearer of the surtout in question, on so very extraordinary and incomprehensible a statement being made to him, nor that of his party, from the same cause. The reader will at once conceive what it was, without any such proceeding on our part.
Confounded, however, and amazed as he was, Jacob"s presence of mind instantly showed him that he was in a dilemma, a regular sc.r.a.pe. That he must either acknowledge--and, in the presence of all his fair friends, there was death in the idea--that the surtout he wore, and which had procured for him so much admiration, was a borrowed one, or quietly submit to be dragged to jail as the true debtor. Jacob further saw exactly how the case stood. He saw that his friend Simmins had never paid for the very flashy article in which he was now arrayed (a discovery this, however, which did not in the least surprise him), and that _he_ was the person for whom the honours of Howison were intended.
Having, however, no fancy for incarceration, Jacob finally determined on avowing the distressing fact, that his surtout was a borrowed one, and that, not being its true owner, he was, of course, free of the attentions of Mr Howison. With a face, then, red as scarlet, and a voice expressive of great tribulation, Jacob made a public acknowledement of this humiliating truth, and was about to avail himself of the advantage which he calculated on deriving from it--namely, that of proceeding on his way--when, to his great horror and further confusion, he found that Howison determined on still sticking to him. In great agitation, Jacob again repeated that he was not Simmins, and that he had merely borrowed the surtout from that gentleman. To these earnest a.s.severations, Howison at first merely replied by an incredulous smile, then added--"It may be sae, sir; but that"s a matter that maun be cleared up afterwards. In the meantime ye"ll go wi" me, if you please; and, if no o" your ain accord, as I wad advise ye, by force, as I"ll compel ye." Saying this, he plunged his hand into one of his pockets, and produced a pair of handcuffs, like a rat-trap. The exhibition of these ornaments, and the dread of getting up a scene on the public street, at once decided the unfortunate surtout-borrower to submit to his fate, and to walk quietly off with his new friends, Mr Howison and concurrent.
In ten minutes after, Jacob found himself snugly quartered in an airy chamber, with grated windows, commanding a pleasant view of a tread-mill in full operation; and here he remained, until the following morning brought such evidence of his ident.i.ty as procured his liberation. On once more snuffing the fresh air, Jacob swore he would take care again whose coat he borrowed, when he should have occasion to ask such a favour from a friend; and we would advise the reader to exercise the like caution, should he ever find himself in similar circ.u.mstances.
THE SURGEON"S TALES.
THE SUICIDE.
It is a vain question, that which has been often stirred among men of our profession and metaphysicians, whether insanity--including under that word all the modes of derangement of the mental powers--is strictly a _disease_, the definition of which, according to the best authorities, is "an alternation from a perfect state of bodily health." Both parties may, to a certain extent, be right; for the one, including chiefly the metaphysicians, can successfully exhibit a gradation in the scale of derangement: beginning at the slightest peculiarity; pa.s.sing on to an eccentricity; from that to idiosyncrasy; from that to a decay or an extraordinary increase of strength in a particular faculty--say memory; from that to a decay or an increase in the intensity of a feeling, an emotion, or a pa.s.sion; from that to false perception--such as monomania, progressing to derangement as to one point or subject, often called madness, _quoad hoc_; and so on, through many other changes, almost imperceptible in their differences, to perfect madness--all without the slightest indication of a pathological nature being to be discovered or detected by the finest dissecting-knife. On the other hand, again, it is indisputable--for we medical men have demonstrated the fact--that a certain _degree_ of madness is almost always accompanied with derangement in the cerebral organs--the most ordinary appearance being the existence of a fluid of a certain kind in the chambers of the brain.
The best and the cleverest of us must let these questions alone; for, so long as we remain--and that may be, as it likely will be, for ever--ignorant of the subtle principle of organic life--the nature of the mysterious union of mind and matter--we will never be able to tell (notwithstanding all our mental achievements) whether madness has its primary beginning in the body or in the mind. We must remain contented with a knowledge of exciting causes, and with that melancholy lore which treasures up--alas! for how little good!--the dreadful symptoms which distinguish this miserable state of proud man from all other conditions of his earthly sorrow; exhibiting him conscious of being still a human creature impressed with the image of G.o.d, yet incapable of using the proudest gift of Heaven--his reason; susceptible of and suffering the most excruciating of all pains--imaginary evils, torments, agonies--yet placed beyond the pale of human sympathy; bent upon--following with cunning and a.s.siduity the cruellest modes of self-immolation; and sometimes calmly _reasoning_ on the nature of the mysterious power that impels to a horrible and revolting suicide.
I have been led into this train of thought by the circ.u.mstances of the case I am now about to relate. It is one of a calm, reasoning, determined self-destroyer, in whom, with the single exception of wishing to die by violent and b.l.o.o.d.y means, I could discover no mental derangement. The case occurs every day; but there are circ.u.mstances in this of a peculiar nature, which set it apart from others I have witnessed, and seen described; and, as it bears the invaluable stamp of truth, my description of it may be held to be a chapter, and a melancholy one, in the wonderful history of human life, wherein, perhaps, the succeeding capital division may consist of an account of our own tragic fate, not less lamentable or less awful. Such creatures are we lords of the creation!--so completely veiled are the destinies of man!
It was, I think, in the month of December in the winter of 18--, that a man in the garb of a farmer called upon me, and requested me to visit George B----, a person, he said, of his own craft, who held a small sheep-farm back among the hills about three miles distant. I asked the messenger if the man was in danger, and if he wished me to proceed instantly to his residence, or if a call the first time that I pa.s.sed that way, which might be next day, would suffice. He replied that his friend was not in immediate danger, and did not wish me to travel three miles for the special purpose of seeing him, but would be contented with, and grateful for, a visit from me on any early day that suited my convenience.
On the following day, I happened to be in that quarter of the country, and called at the house to which I had been directed. The day was cloudy, raw, and cold, and a stern north wind whistled among the brackens of the hills. I was struck with the situation and appearance of the house. It had formerly been a mansion-house, and was much larger than the ordinary residences of small sheep-farmers among the hills. The situation was peculiarly bleak, sequestered, and even dismal: no trees could be discovered in any direction; there was no outhouses attached to the dwelling; and no neighbouring residence was to be seen. The house stood alone, big, gaunt, cold, and comfortless, in the midst of bare hills, exposed to the bitter wind that careered through the valleys and ravines. Nor, as I approached, did I discover any signs of domestic stir or comfort. Several of the windows were closed up--the under part of the house apparently being only inhabited by the inmates, who showed no anxiety to ascertain by looking out who it was that had accomplished the task of getting to this barren and sequestered place.
On knocking at the door, it was opened by a young woman about eighteen years of age. She appeared to be delicate--being thin in her person, pale in her complexion, and of an irritable temperament, for she started when she saw me. An expression of melancholy pervaded features not unhandsome, and attracted particularly my attention, by almost instantly exciting my sympathy. I asked her if George B---- was in the house. She answered that her father, for such he was, had just gone to bed, having been for some time ailing. I told her that it was upon that account I had come to see him. She seemed then to know who I was, and thanked me for my attention. I stepped in; and, as I followed the young woman through a long pa.s.sage to the room occupied by her father, she told me that her mother had died about a year before, and that there was no other individual living in the house but her and her remaining parent. A gloomy, unhappy pair! thought I, as I looked on her sombre face, and heard the wind moaning through the big, open house.
On entering the room, which was cold and poorly furnished, I observed George B---- sitting up in his bed reading a book, which I discovered to be a large Bible. He had a napkin bound round his temples. His face exhibited the true melancholic hue, being of a swarthy yellow; his eyes wore the heaviness generally found in people of that temperament; the muscles were firmly bound down by the rigid, severe, and desponding expression of dejection, generally found a.s.sociated with these other characteristics; and throughout his face and manner there was exhibited an indifference to surrounding objects, which was only very partially relaxed by his recognition of me as I entered. There was, however, nothing of the look of a diseased man about him; for his face was full and fleshy, his nerves firm and well strung, his eye steady and unclouded, and his voice, as he welcomed me in, strong, and even rough and burly. His face resembled very much the _ideal_ of that of the old Covenanters; and the large Bible he held in his hands aided the conception, and increased the picturesque effect of the whole aspect of the man.
He knew, or took it for granted, that I was the surgeon he had sent for, pointed to a chair, that I might sit down, and beckoned to his daughter Margaret, as he called her, to leave the room. The young woman retired slowly, and I observed, as she proceeded towards the door, she threw back two or three nervous looks, which I thought indicated a strong feeling of apprehension, mixed with her filial sympathy. As the door shut, it sounded as if it had lost the catch; the father caught the sound, appeared angry, and requested me to rise and shut it effectually, and, as he added, carefully. I complied, and he seemed to listen for some time, as if to try to ascertain whether his daughter had proceeded along the pa.s.sage to the kitchen. He was uncertain, and listened again, but was still unresolved; at last, he said he was sorry to give me so much trouble, but he felt he could not enter upon the subject about which he wished to consult me until he was satisfied, beyond the possibility of doubt, that Margaret was not listening. I rose and went to the door. On opening it, I saw the young woman standing behind it. On perceiving me, she retreated precipitately and fearfully along the dark pa.s.sage. I shut the door; and, being unwilling, in my ignorance of the cause of all this mysterious secrecy and suspicion, to betray the poor girl, who had perhaps some good legitimate object in solicitude, I said simply that there was now n.o.body there. He was satisfied; and I again sat down.
I then asked him what was the particular complaint about which he wished to consult me.
"That is precisely what I wish to know," he replied. "I hae nae complaint aboot _my body_, which, G.o.d be thanked! is just as strong as it used to be. But there is a change in my mind, different frae the healthy griefs, and sorrows, and pains o" mortals. My wife, the best o" women, died a year ago. In a short time after, I lost the greater number o" my sheep in a storm, which prevented me frae payin my Candlemas rent. But mony a man loses his wife, and mony a shepherd his sheep, without tellin a doctor o" their loss. I laid my account wi"
sufferin grief as heavy as mortal ever suffered; and in this house, in this bed, on these hills, in the kirk, and at our cattle trysts, I hae struggled wi" my sorrow. But, sir," leaning his head towards me, and speaking low, "_it winna a" do_."
He paused, and, as he fixed his eye upon me, drew a deep sigh, as if he had already, as it were, broached a subject that was fearful to himself.
"What mean you?" said I.
"I mean, that _I canna live_!" he replied, energetically, seizing the Bible with a spasmodic grasp--closing it--throwing it to the back of the bed--then falling in an instant into a state of real dejection, with his arms folded over his breast, and his eyes cast down.
"Grief often produces these gloomy thoughts," said I; "but they are the mere fancies of a sick mind--generated in sorrow, and dying with the time-subdued cause that produces them. There is not a bereaved husband, wife, parent, or child in the land, that does not, in the first struggle with a new grief, entertain and cherish, for pa.s.sing moments of agony, such sick fancies of rebelling nature. You have not yet given time and your energies a fair trial. You must have patience."
"There is some consolation in that," he replied. "I am glad when I think that the thought that haunts and alarms me is no sae dangerous as it sometimes appears to me. This book (sweet comforter!) tells me that Tobit prayed to be dissolved, and become earth, because o" his sorrow. It tells me, also, that Job, in his agonies, cried, "My soul chooseth strangling and death rather than life." My experience o" the ills o" life (and a man o" sixty-five must have some portion o" that) informs me o" the truth o" what you have told me, that an extraordinary burden o" grief often wrings frae the sick soul a wish to dee and be at rest. But oh! I fear my situation is different. I hae _mair_ than a wish to be dissolved; for sure none o" my brethren in sorrow"--here his voice fell almost to a whisper, and tears rolled down his cheek--"ever lay wi" the like o" that"--holding up a razor--"under his sick pillow."
I was alarmed, being utterly unprepared for this exhibition.
"You need be under nae alarm," he continued, wiping the tears from his eyes. "My courage is not yet strong enough. G.o.d be praised for it!
Moments o" fearfu fort.i.tude sometimes come owre me, and I have held that instrument in my clenched hand--ay, within an inch o" my bared throat; but the resolution pa.s.ses as quickly as it comes, and terror, cowardice, and a shiverin cauld--dreadfu to suffer--come in their place. Lay it past, sir--lay it past."
I obeyed; and, as I proceeded to place the instrument on the top of a chest of drawers, I heard the noise of some one in the pa.s.sage, with suppressed e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.ns of--"O G.o.d! O G.o.d!"