"And now tell me of Windyridge.... Write to me when you can: give me all the news; tell me how the great quest for peace progresses, and believe that I am ever,
"Your very sincere friend, "GEORGE EVANS."
Womanlike, I watered this missive with my tears, but they were April showers, after all, with great patches of blue sky in between, and plenty of warm sunshine; for it was sweet to know that I was cared for and that someone wanted me.
I hope none would mistake me. I am an emotional goose at times, I know, but thank goodness! I am no sentimentalist. I am not possessed with the idea that the squire wants to marry me and leave me his fortune, for I am perfectly sure that he does not. I heard his voice the night before he went away, and it told me the secret of his fidelity. Besides, I wouldn"t marry him if he did want it, for though my heart tells me that I have loved him instinctively from the first day of our acquaintance, and I love him now more than ever, it also tells me that the affection is filial and nothing more. What more should it be? It is all the more likely to be unselfish and sincere on both sides that it has nothing of pa.s.sion in it. You see, unlike Widow Robertshaw, I am not eager to change my state.
As to my decision, I did not hesitate for one moment. When he needs me I will go to him and, G.o.d helping me, I will act a daughter"s part.
Act? Nay, rather, I will do a daughter"s loving duty.
I wrote him yesterday, telling him all the news of the little world of Windyridge, but painting the shadows lightly. In truth, they are heavy and full of gloom just now.
I had just commenced work in my studio after reading the squire"s letter when Sar"-Ann burst in upon me, and throwing herself into one of my ornamental chairs commenced to cry and sob hysterically, holding her ap.r.o.n to her eyes and rocking her body to and fro in a frenzy of abandonment. I saw there was trouble of some sort, but recognised at the same time the need of firmness.
"Sar"-Ann," I said, "you will break that chair if you carry on in that fashion. Restrain yourself, and tell me what is the matter."
Restraint and Sar"-Ann, however, were strangers to each other, and her only response was to redouble her groans, until I lost patience.
"If you don"t stop this noise, Sar"-Ann," I threatened, "I will get you a strong dose of sal-volatile and make you drink it. Do you hear?"
She did hear. Sal-volatile, as a remedy, had been unknown in Windyridge before my advent, but the few who had experienced it had not remained silent witnesses to its power, so that the very dread of the strange drug had been known to perform miraculously sudden cures in certain cases; and "that sally-stuff o" Miss Holden"s" had become a word to charm with.
Sar"-Ann"s groans subsided, but her breast heaved heavily, and her ap.r.o.n still concealed her face.
"Cannot you speak, child?" I asked. "What is the matter? If you want me to help you, you must do more than sob and cry. Now come!"
"It"s Ginty!" she stammered; "he"s run away an" robbed his mother of every penny, an" brokken her heart an" mine. Oh, Ginty! Ginty!
Whatever shall I do?" and the rocking and sobbing began again.
I got the sal-volatile this time and forced her to swallow it, taking no heed of her protests. Mother Hubbard came in, too, and added her entreaties to my commands; and after a while she became calmer, and then the whole story came out.
Ginty had been mixing in bad company for some months past. Somewhere in the hollow of the moors a couple of miles away he had stumbled one Sunday upon a gambling school, conducted, I imagine, by city rogues who come out here to avoid the police, and had been threatened with violence for his unwelcome intrusion. He had purchased immunity by joining the school, and, unknown to everybody except Sar"-Ann, he had visited it, Sunday by Sunday, with unfailing regularity, for the greed of gain soon got hold of him. Sometimes he had won small sums, but more often he had lost all his wages and even pledged his credit, until he had not known where to turn for money.
"I gave "im all I had," said Sar"-Ann, "an" I begged him to drop it, but he said he couldn"t, an" he"d only to go on long enough to be sure to get it all back an" more to it. An" now, oh dear! oh dear! he"s robbed his poor mother an" made off; an" whatever I"m goin" to do I don"t know. O G.o.d! I wish I was dead!"
I left Mother Hubbard to console the stricken girl, fearing in my heart that she had not revealed the extent of her trouble, and went straight to Ginty"s cottage, where a half-dozen women were doing their best to comfort the poor mother, bereaved of her only support by what was worse than death. Children were there, too, their fingers in their mouths and their eyes wide with wonder, staring vacantly at the object of universal commiseration, and silent in the presence of a sorrow they could feel but not understand.
The little garden was gay from end to end with multi-coloured crocuses, and two or three men stood looking at them, not daring to venture within the house, but ready to offer help if required. One of them muttered: "Bad job, this, miss!" as I pa.s.sed; and the rest moved their heads in affirmation.
Ginty"s mother was seated at the little round table, her head in her hands, and her eyes fixed upon an old cash box in front of her. The lid was thrown back and the box was empty. The picture told its own story; and to complete it a framed photograph of Ginty, which I had given him only a few weeks previously, hung upon the wall opposite, so that the author and his work were closely a.s.sociated.
The women turned as I entered, and began to explain and discuss the situation before the poor woman who was its victim, in that seemingly callous manner with which the poor cloak and yet express their sympathy.
"Them"s best off as has no bairns," said the blacksmith"s wife; "ye moil an" toil for "em, an" bring "em up through their teethin" an" all make o" ailments, an" lay down yer varry life for "em, an" this is how they pay you back in t" end."
"Ay," said Sar"-Ann"s mother, "shoo"ll hev to be thankful "at it"s no worse. So far as I know he"s ta"en n.o.b"dy"s money but "er"s, so I don"t suppose t" police "ll be after "im. Eh! but it"s a sad job an"
all, an" he were bahn to wed our Sar"-Ann in a toathree week. Well, it"s a rare good job for "er "at it"s happened afore they were wed, rayther than at after."
"But whativver is shoo goin" to do now "at Ginty"s gone?" inquired the next door neighbour, Susannah; "Ginty kept "er, an" _shoo_ can"t do nowt, not wi" them rheumatics in her legs, an" all that pile o" money gone. Nay, "Lizabeth, la.s.s, I nivver thowt ye"d sc.r.a.ped so mich together. It "ud ha" served ye nicely for yer old age, but ye sud ha"
put it in a bank. Whativver ye"re bahn to do now, G.o.d only knows."
"We must see what can be done," I interposed. "We must all be her friends now that this trouble has come upon her, and do not let us add to her distress by our discussion. You will let us help you, won"t you?" I asked.
She did not speak or move, but just stared stonily into the empty box; one would have said that she had not even heard.
I withdrew my hand as Susannah came forward. Susannah is a good woman, with a kind heart, and had known "Lizabeth all her life. She knelt down on the stone floor and put an arm around her neighbour"s waist.
""Lizabeth, la.s.s! Ye munnot tak" on like this. "E"ll be comin" back i" now. It"s "appen nowt but a bit of a marlackin", an" ye shall come an" live wi" us while "e turns up. Now what say ye?"
The mother"s mouth set hard and her brow contracted.
"I shall go into t" work"us, Susannah; where else should I go?"
There was a murmur of dissent, broken by Susannah"s:
"No, no, la.s.s, nowt o" t" sort. Ye"ll come an" live wi" us; one mouth more "ll none mak" that difference, an" Mr. Evans "ll be back i" now an" put things straight for ye."
"Do ye think, Susannah, "at your la.s.ses "ll want to live wi" a thief"s mother, an" do ye think "at I"ll let "em? Ginty"s a thief, an" all t"
worse thief because he"s robbed his own mother, an" left "er to starve.
But I won"t be beholden to none of ye; I never "ave been, an" I never will be. I"ve worked hard while I could work, an" I"ve saved what I could an" lived careful, so as I wouldn"t need to be beholden to n.o.b"dy; an" if Ginty has robbed me of my all "e shall "ave a pauper for his mother, an" "e shall "ear tell of "er in a pauper"s grave. I thank ye kindly, neighbours, but ye must all go an" leave me, for I amn"t wantin" any comp"ny just now."
I saw that I could not be of service just then, so I came away with some of the other women, intending to go again on the morrow. But though I went immediately after breakfast I found that she had gone.
"She was off afore I"d well got t" fire lit," said Mrs. Smithies, who was my informant; "I looked across an" chanced to see "er open t" door and pull it to behind "er. She didn"t lock it nor nowt, just like snecked it. She had a bundle in a red handkercher in "er "and, an"
such a "ard look on her face, an" she never once glanced be"ind nor at all them grand flowers, but just kept "er eyes straight afore "er.
"But I runs out an" I says: "Nay "Lizabeth, wherever are ye off, like?"
An" she says, "I"m off to t" workus, so good-bye, "Becca; an" if there"s ought in t" "ouse after t" landlord"s paid, you neighbours are all welcome to "t." Not "at I"d touch ought there is, miss, unless it were that chiney ornament on t" mantelpiece, which I could like if it were goin" a-beggin".
"Well, I couldn"t "elp cryin" a bit, an" I axed "er if she wouldn"t change "er mind, but she were same as if she were turned to stone. So I went up t" road wi" her a bit, just a piece beyond t" "All gates, an"
there she turned me back. "Good-bye, "Becca," she says, "an" thank G.o.d on yer knees "at ye"ve no son to rob his mother! An" if my lad ever comes back, tell "im he"ll find _his_ mother in a pauper"s grave.""
I walked down the fields into the sanctuary of the wood, where understanding is sometimes to be found and freedom from painful thoughts. It was bitterly cold, but the sky was blue, so that in the clear atmosphere every twig stood out with microscopic sharpness, and it was impossible to miss the note of hope in the song of new-born spring.
The trees were for the most part bare of colour--oak and elm and beech were alike in the grey garb of winter--but the sycamores had burst their buds and were clad in living green that delighted the eye and quickened the pulse, whilst great blotches of yellow celandine blazed in the sunshine of the open s.p.a.ces like cloth of gold.
But the wood was voiceless at first to the question of my heart, and I told myself that the "Why?" of life is unanswerable. Then suddenly there came into my mind the familiar words of Tennyson:
"Behold, we know not anything; I can but trust that good shall fall At last--far off--at last, to all, And every winter change to spring,"
and at a bound my Inner Self found firm ground again.
"Grace," I said, "have you forgotten the closing verse of a preceding stanza?" and I repeated aloud:
"So fret not, like an idle girl, That life is dash"d with flecks of sin.
Abide: thy wealth is gathered in When time hath sundered sh.e.l.l from pearl,"